Girl always expects me to pay for her in dates

seduction-ModTeam · 2022-09-12T01:23:20+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

Therocksays2020 · 2022-09-11T17:55:43+00:00

Why have you been on a date with a woman four times and not tried to kiss her? Wtf

Why are you waiting for some perfect moment? Come on man

Therocksays2020 · 2022-09-11T17:55:29+00:00

Damn dude. Yes there are some women who expect the guy to pay everytime.

Now you have two choices

A) decide you don’t want to date that kind of woman and move on

B) bring it up but possibly make things awkward between you

Remarkable-Sky6577 · 2022-09-11T18:03:52+00:00

Sounds like she's using you as she sees you as a bit of a simp.

Move on and find someone else, preferably someone who actually likes and respects you.

zapadz · 2022-09-11T17:59:56+00:00

This is the most polite she is ever going to be. Drop her or friend zone her.

2022-09-11T18:14:05+00:00

So basically you have paid for four dates, where nothing interesting in romantic context has happened between you. No idea what this is all about?

Billieclide · 2022-09-11T18:43:45+00:00

Make a move. If it’s denied Then move on from her

SwimComfortable7465 · 2022-09-11T18:02:18+00:00

Boot her. It all just goes downhill from here.

2022-09-11T18:41:56+00:00

[removed]

Mechanik_J · 2022-09-12T00:40:09+00:00

She could be using you for a foody call, not a booty call.

No_Load_7183 · 2022-09-11T18:46:15+00:00

Oh dude she's using you for free food and attention. Move on

2022-09-11T18:38:43+00:00

[removed]

paperpablo · 2022-09-11T20:50:33+00:00

Jay z once said...on to the next one

2022-09-11T23:24:31+00:00

Well, then stop paying for the entire bill and allowing her to choose all the (expensive?) dates you go on. It's that simple. I NEVER go on a date where I wouldn't mind paying the whole bill. Early dates are chill, fun, and generally chosen by me -- focused primarily on the time we're spending together and NOT the venue. But just like you, most of my experiences involve women offering to split/splitting. These are my experiences and my expectations so anything that's not that, I do not accept or tolerate.

greenygirll · 2022-09-11T18:27:05+00:00

Some girls are like this, I personally am not used to paying on dates either so I kind of understand. I usually offer to get us dessert or drinks (like you mentioned) after dinner or whatever activity we do.

I think you could have a conversation with her about this and if she insists on you paying for everything, you just decide if this is worth it or not. The no kiss after date four thing is a little strange to me though, does she act romantically interested in you in other ways? hand holding, hugs, etc

Positive-Ad-1859 · 2022-09-11T20:45:30+00:00

Four dates and not even a kiss? Dump her she's using you

BraveLilToasty · 2022-09-11T20:36:26+00:00

She is broke and you are feeding her

notsoslootyman · 2022-09-11T21:27:59+00:00

It could be she is a traditional girl. She may prefer a slow start to weed out some of the bad stock. Are you a traditional guy? Is she worth waiting for? It's okay to part ways for a difference in values. The question is who are you?

ParticularAmazing112 · 2022-09-11T21:28:04+00:00

I think you brought this up on yourself not making any moves in that first date.

This could help you in your future dates. My first dates are kind of used as interviews and I am usually super honest with that. Before I set the day, I tell her I want us to spend some time together, take a walk or something and see if we are compatible. We are too grown to waste each other times. If it works out, let’s plan a real date. If it doesn’t well it doesn’t.

That first date then is usually little to no cost and from that, I decide whether I want to invest my money and time to further pursue. In your case for example, if I’m not able to make a move or get the feeling she wants to kiss on that first “date”, I’m not going to further pursue because I don’t have the time to waste. That’s just it.

Not sure if this approach could be helpful to you but you might want to give it a try.

Silly_Randy · 2022-09-11T21:32:32+00:00

By the second date you should have gone for a kiss.

If it didn't work, you could have flirted with other girls in front of her. Then try kissing her again.

Putrid-Life-9645 · 2022-09-11T23:06:50+00:00

Sounds like foodie date family she using you for a free meal

Every-Ladder-6101 · 2022-09-11T23:35:45+00:00

Kiss her after the first date next time

revente · 2022-09-12T00:02:45+00:00

Invite her to your place for a movie. Try to fuck her. See what happens when it's on her to invest in you.

Personally if a girl told me to pay for her i'd just say

'lol i won't buy you x but i could make you a killer breakfast'

fkk2019 · 2022-09-12T00:06:34+00:00

Move on. She's attracted to your money, not you. Sorry.

2022-09-12T00:40:22+00:00

You are being used

dobbs1997 · 2022-09-12T00:44:09+00:00

why are you even taking this girl out like that ? you just met her, she’s using you cause you’re allowing yourself to get used, you wanna kiss her and she’s not down and you’re STILL seeing her? if she’s not down for what you wanna do stop seeing her, also, stop spending money on chicks you just met bruh…no wonder you’re getting played, shit 4 dates & no kiss yet ? Why are you doing this to yourself lol

Yamochao · 2022-09-12T01:05:36+00:00

First date kiss or you're a friend that pays for things, and you're not on a date..

Nothing wrong with being a friend who pays for things, it's a wonderful thing to be if both parties are aligned.

But stop believing you're dating this girl.

Winter-Channel-5833 · 2022-09-12T01:15:54+00:00

She’s using you.

Mr_Throwaway2834 · 2022-09-12T01:16:16+00:00

She's using you as a free meal

epimpstyle · 2022-09-12T01:21:09+00:00

If you pay it is OK because you show her that you are not broke, you afford to pay a damn evening in town but ..... not too often. If you paid once, is OK.... if you pay twice it looks like the girl likes your companion (or maybe your money) but when she tells you to go out for the third time you can be direct to tell her to go to your home to drink red wine because if the girl likes your companion she will go... if she goes with you for your money, she won't go but at least now you are a free man.

KrimsonPepe · 2022-09-11T19:03:08+00:00

In 4 dates you haven't kissed her? no physical contact she is using you bro by date 3 you should have banged it's not a hard rule but not even a kiss by date 4 she is using you bro.

2022-09-11T21:11:57+00:00

Im a woman, and personally I was always taught relationships should be equal. It’s important to be a gentleman, but the standard shouldn’t be the man paying for everything. You should agree to invite each other from time to time, one day she pays, next time you pay, the load shouldn’t be always on you.

And always try to gently kiss her at the end of the first date if things are going well, then you can measure her interest for you.

heavychugs81 · 2022-09-11T20:56:05+00:00

Do expect to have sex with her? Sex for the exchange of resources has always been the transaction.

GucciLoinCloth420 · 2022-09-11T18:45:29+00:00

If she ain’t throwing that ass back for you at the end of the night , make her pay

lildudefromXdastreet · 2022-09-11T19:22:33+00:00

How have you dated a girl four times and not even kissed her?

Log701 · 2022-09-11T21:13:21+00:00

this is just sad

crtmammal · 2022-09-11T18:44:19+00:00

She thinks you are her girlfriend, you gotta make a move. she’s probably got you saved in her phone as “free food”. Nothing wrong with paying for dates, I mean what’s $50-100 to go out with a beautiful woman and have a good time, not a big deal. But I’d say if you haven’t gotten some action after 2-3 dates you wasting your time and money, and that is after making a move, if you haven’t made a move you are most definitely wasting your time and money

pingywon · 2022-09-11T20:04:15+00:00

Best thing you can do rn is pretend you aren’t really into her anymore. She will wonder how that’s possible and throw her kisses at you to get back into your good graces.

2022-09-11T21:50:58+00:00

[removed]

paperpablo · 2022-09-11T20:29:32+00:00

Do this..go out and have the thought that if she doesn't pay or sulks once she has paid..then leave her

Go out to eat but forget your wallet..not literally but tell her you forgot and ask her to cover this one..if she dares asks for the money back..you block her quicker than George Bush invading Iraq

Amanprob · 2022-09-11T21:19:41+00:00

Test the water dude or just move one right now.but I don’t think she’s interested in you .there is someone out there who will appreciate you

FordSpeedWagon · 2022-09-11T21:20:20+00:00

If you go in for a kiss and she rejects you that's your signal she's not into you and just wants free meals. Boot that girl back to the streets. Or try and plan a date and YOU pick where you guys go. If she's gets all fussy and says she wants to go somewhere else just say well you picked the last 4 places.

Or just expedite the process and ghost her or say you found someone else

higordemenezes · 2022-09-11T21:35:29+00:00

There’s the 3 strikes rule since you said it’s the fourth date and nothing has happened yet you should move on to the next. Withdraw your attention and if she really wants to see you invite her to your place or somewhere where you know things can get spicy, If she wants keep going out with you something sexual MUST happen.

WashImaginary2898 · 2022-09-11T21:41:14+00:00

Let me give you some big brother advice. It's cool to pay for the first MAYBE 2nd date. But you have to move in for the kiss before you move forward. Try to do it during a highpoint of the date. She'll remember it more. If you can't get a kiss after the first, but definitely 2nd date. Drop her. No if, buts, nothing. You dump her right then and there. If a girl is ready to drop her panties for a celebrity or athlete. She can at the very least give you some toungue. So go out there tadpole, and find the girl that works for you 😉

omega05 · 2022-09-11T21:57:46+00:00

You havent kissed her in four dates? Dead that shit bro. Like have you gone in for the kiss and she rejects you or you dont even try?

Glacier_Doctor · 2022-09-11T22:16:07+00:00

But she didn’t even give me any signals for a kiss

Go for it next time and escalate and then next time you meet it should be for sex, no dinner date.

stevemidi · 2022-09-11T22:17:31+00:00

Brother so I would have probably threw in the towel already with her, but you can give it one more shit and go in for the kiss, if she rejects I would definitely Move on, there’s so many women out there that won’t do this to you. You deserve better.

nicolai_1998 · 2022-09-11T22:20:32+00:00

She’s definitely using you lol

ThriftStoreDildo · 2022-09-11T22:38:54+00:00

I dated a girl who let me pay for everything, didn't last long cause I ended that fuck that.

Sure we had sex but I can do better than that shit. I'm looking for a partner not someone to constantly pamper.

Dyxo · 2022-09-11T22:38:57+00:00

You’re her money source for going out to eat, and you haven’t even kissed her. Do yourself a favor and move on

2022-09-11T21:46:02+00:00

[removed]

cryptosis420 · 2022-09-11T20:57:15+00:00

Yup first of all this girl will probably expect you to pay for everything if you happen to get in a LTR. Does she have daddy issues btw?

Second its been 4 dates and no kiss? Hate to break it to yah but sounds like u been put in the friends zone. Coldest part is she could be a manipulative friend. Cut the friendship, even friends offer to pay now and then.

smaccer · 2022-09-11T19:04:20+00:00

Quite the audacity to state it this plainly by the girl. Remember, you're not inclined to just permanently pay for the dates. Split the bill once in a while, she's an adult too you know.

YouGotTangoed · 2022-09-11T20:02:19+00:00

Never go FULL simp

blizzzyybandito · 2022-09-11T21:32:42+00:00

You a meal/drink ticket before she goes out with her friends or another guy. Not cool but that’s what it is. Drop her my guy don’t waste your time or money

CigarFrog · 2022-09-11T22:09:11+00:00

This is how I live my life: "I don't pay for dates with Women I just met. Nor do I pay for drinks, that's what the AFC does, I do pay for dates with Women I'm Fucking and have a relationship with!" If you want to be someone's meal ticket good for you, but that's not me!

ZenMachine

Competitive-Link-912 · 2022-09-11T22:38:44+00:00

I don’t think there is anything fundamentally wrong with paying for a girl when you take her out. It is not simping, especially is you have decent income.

People who think otherwise have no experiences with universal 10s and effective dating / womanizing is an expensive game.

However, what is simping is allowing her to decide let’s go here or there. If you are paying, you tell her, not ask her where you two are going. She should not be telling you where to take her, especially if she hasn’t kissed you. You need to be in control of the frame and not let her control you.

JCAmsterdam · 2022-09-11T22:42:55+00:00

Wait. So if you would have kissed her then it would be okay to pay? And after sex? She is entitled to unlimited dinners?

This doesn’t work the way you think it does bud…

luxeterna1105 · 2022-09-12T00:56:14+00:00

I mean, if you’re inviting you’re paying. How are you setting the dates with this woman?

DevelopmentMission · 2022-09-11T20:37:20+00:00

Is she smoking hot? If you are paying for love, then she better be worth of that.

Bang her and get rid of her.

Haunting_Papaya_9575 · 2022-09-11T21:11:28+00:00

Bro i have been out with a girl 3 times,today i kissed her…not every girl kisses on the first dates…but since it took me so long for a kiss i decided to boot her from today because only God knows when she would let me fuck her and i cant waste my time!

Title	Girl always expects me to pay for her in dates
Author	Verrati873
Upvotes	98
Comments	104
Date	September 11, 2022 5:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xboxuy/girl_always_expects_me_to_pay_for_her_in_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-always-expects-me-to-pay-for-her-in-dates.1250193 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250193

Comments