Hooked up with a girl at a club, she ghosted me, now got severe oneitis

Khower · 2022-06-07T04:44:32+00:00

Bro you're 27 and saying you've made out with 200-300 girls and you're posting a sob story about triple texting a girl who ghosted you... there's clearly some maturity issues at play here or this post wouldn't exist

7Birdies · 2022-06-07T02:09:43+00:00

She liked how look in the dark, but didn’t like how you look in the light.

You saying she was out of your league and how her demeanor changed completely when she saw you corroborates that. She probably made a BS story up because she doesn’t want to be mean and say it up front. Sorry brother.

Change2222 · 2022-06-07T01:03:59+00:00

It was a ONS. Move on

whotfisyouidknikka · 2022-06-07T01:45:05+00:00

Girls know how to run game now too bro. She’ll either keep tormenting you knowing you’re hooked but never again give you a chance, or hit you up on a random day because she knows you’ll say yes.

Up to you what to do with that information.

MusaTO · 2022-06-07T05:07:26+00:00

I didn’t know what oneitis is, thought it’s some kind of STD when I read this post lol

UTCrew · 2022-06-07T01:28:13+00:00

Some people just aren’t compatible, and she still liked her ex apparently. She’s not interested in you. And, if you have self-esteem, you probably shouldn’t be pursuing her, which would mean continuing to pursue her would indicate low self-esteem/neediness and possibly correctly worsen her view of you.

VisionsOfVisions · 2022-06-07T01:08:40+00:00

So how did you look at the coffee shop? How did you dress, what about you was less attractive in the morning?

If there wasn’t anything significant, she just wasn’t as interested in you and seeing you the next day confirmed her interest level.

warrenrb1981 · 2022-06-07T06:09:09+00:00

Doesn’t matter why she doesn’t like you. Have self respect to not chase her down like a dog who’s lost his owner. There are many fish in the sea!

And if you really need an answer as to why, just think - you met her at a club, she probably was alittle drunk and inhibitions were down, and you didn’t look the way she thought when she saw you again. This has been my reason for ghosting girls… And they weren’t even ugly, just not how I thought and really not my type.

-Mavs · 2022-06-07T03:47:15+00:00

Doesn’t sound like someone you see around all too often so it should be an easy approach of “no contacting”.

If she’s turned you down numerous times already, that should be answer enough.

I know you’re interested in her but sadly the only thing that matters is her interest in you, which is nonexistent.

UTCrew · 2022-06-07T06:30:36+00:00

So when you say you hooked up, you slept with her?

Actually it doesn't really matter if you did or not. Hooking up with girls at a club typically means that you were her plaything for the evening. Sex or no sex.This is what you will find with club pickup - "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". I can only think of one time where I picked up from the club and the girl wanted to see me again after sex - and she was in her 30s and probably was looking for something serious and I was really drunk and the sex was terrible.

In many ways the nightclub is like a strip club for women - except that rather than get turned on with naked bodies, women are turned on by a stream of male attention directed at the skimpy outfits they're nearly wearing. And they usually have the smarts to leave the fun there and not bring it into their personal lives.

If you never had sex with her, then you missed your opportunity. You MUST strike while the iron is hot! Once her emotions are off the boil, she's likely to forget all about you and chase after the next shiny. Hence you got ghosted.

Hanging out with her and her female friend is not what you wanted either. I don't know why you agreed to that. You invite her over for boom boom or nothing. The rule after sex is, if she wants any more she has to call you. Don't booty call women.

No reason to one-itis this girl at all. She's just going around trying to lure as many men as she can. Just as you are trying with girls yourself.

As for her hooking back up with her "ex"....... HAHAHAHAHA. Guess what? He's NOT an "ex" and never was! You have to admire some women's mental gymnastics. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that one... :D

I don't think I made out with 200-300 girls over the years from "clubs". More realistically in the high double digits, but heck, it was enough experience to bring me my own conclusions.

savaj__ · 2022-06-07T12:29:54+00:00

You got a lot to learn still

cronasminate · 2022-06-07T06:00:43+00:00

It’s actually quite common for very attractive women to do this hook up and then disappear. I’ve experienced this many times and the girl always tends to be on break with their bf and wanted to fuck around a bit.

It’s extremely common if you are attractive which seems like you are. It’s the cost of beauty on the guy’s side.

Sure you can fuck hot girls but a lot of those girls will mostly want you for a short time or just like you for your looks and the excitement. You have more chances to fuck around but you will still need to weed through a bunch of pussies to find the one that’s actually high quality.

LucianU · 2022-06-07T04:06:52+00:00

The answer lies in your post. Your behavior towards her changed, because you liked her so much. You couldn't stay casual. You became desperate for her presence in your life.

willgo-waggins · 2022-06-07T02:08:02+00:00

There’s a pretty damn good chance that 1) it’s the truth and she did hook back up with her “ex” if he’s even ex and not actual BF and 2) that some combination of that or she just had fun with you as a one off and her friends actually has something for you and she’s backed off or the friend asked her to back off.

Whichever or whatever she obviously isn’t interested and now you’re a stalky creeper. Move on.

turtle_power00 · 2022-06-07T09:45:46+00:00

Dude. She's just not into it. It's fine. Move on. You had a good time, leave it at that.

DubDeuceInThisBih · 2022-06-07T10:32:05+00:00

Prolly another dude. Sometimes in life you gotta brush it off and Ramble On.

ZosoWicca · 2022-06-07T10:50:52+00:00

Welcome to ONSs.

Jonny_Ranger · 2022-06-07T11:31:42+00:00

Best thing you can do is do you and stop checking her stories. Stop giving her attention and she might become interested, otherwise you'll forget her quicker anyway.

SpookyKG · 2022-06-07T12:09:49+00:00

It was ONE NIGHT, move on.

ZachMoore88 · 2022-06-07T01:28:06+00:00

You gave her too much validation. It's like a prize you have to dangle in front of them constantly. Once they catch it....the game's over.

C0VID_BRYANT · 2022-06-07T04:29:29+00:00

I felt the same bro. Quickest way to get over this shit is just to either lose her (unfollow) but you should also consider lowering phone usage. I been there and one thing that always happens is usage of my phone goes up, so I put limiters on every app. Which city was this club in, if you don't mind me asking?

MattPruga · 2022-06-07T09:59:54+00:00

Girls want to hook up a lot too, it's normal. Usually they do a quick hook up when they want to forget about their ex or make someone him jealous. She liked you, made out with you, had her fun and she left, she got what she needed. Deep down she did that most likely because she misses someone else and you are a temporary replacement for that person.

You also seem to have emotionally connected too much. I'm telling you, if you showed very little emotion, stirred her up a bit, fucked her good and left she would crave for you. While you showed neediness which is an unattractive trait, she doesn't want that.

It's okay, you learned stuff and made out with a cool girl

Aggressive_Soil_5134 · 2022-06-07T09:05:29+00:00

Can I be honest? She probably had beer goggles, she was tipsy and thought you were better looking than you are. When she saw you she was disappointed.

2022-06-07T12:31:04+00:00

You got free sex with a hot girl. What's the issue?

cockroach-prodigy · 2022-06-07T13:05:46+00:00

“I’ve prolly made out with at least 200-300 girls” wow buddy save some pussy for the rest of us

bigbodi45 · 2022-06-07T13:38:14+00:00

harsh truth. Stop texting her. fuck wrong with u. u look desperate.

2022-06-07T03:51:00+00:00

It sucks, hurts and happens to everyone, but it’s definitely done man. I’d recommend unfollowing her / blocking because it will just delay healing. Take a lesson from it and remember the fun you had together and focus on other girls or stuff to get back on track.

montanalombardy · 2022-06-07T09:59:36+00:00

"Got back with her ex"

Dude she probably cheated on him with you.

SadBox4529 · 2022-06-07T04:45:09+00:00

She sounds like a bitch. Ditch her

Vlasow · 2022-06-07T08:38:01+00:00

My hypothesis is: She probably got tired of her boyfriend's bullshit, found a reason to "put their relationship on hold", went clubbing to fix her self esteem by attracting whatever dude she likes, then with her self esteem fixed got back with her boyo for whatever reason she thinks she should still be with him. Maybe she will get back at you when he finally bores her ass away completely. Wait for that to happen if you're interested in a girl like that, and maybe she will pick you out of everyone she checks out during their "everything is complicated" phase.

Mr_Arkwright · 2022-06-07T09:51:04+00:00

She is a lost cause. You cannot change what she herself wants and since you are not her, it is a waste of time attempting to discern her true reasoning. All you can do is to try and move on.

jsbach123 · 2022-06-07T09:52:36+00:00

It probably boils down to: this guy is too easy, therefore not high value. The next day coffee date was probably a bad move. That's giving way too much value. She likely also felt awkward kissing and acting like a couple right away and then next day -- boom, it's a normal day at the coffee shop. It's weird.

There'll always be ladies who need guys for self-validation. Once she got it, she lost interest. But don't get jaded. Not all women act like this. This is an extreme case.

Next time, you gotta hold back your interest bro.

ssspiral · 2022-06-07T07:01:19+00:00

maybe its less about the actual girl and more about where you’re at in life. perhaps this is a sign you’re wanting to settle down or get serious with someone

iluvreddit · 2022-06-07T07:47:15+00:00

She has a bf. Dude get some new ass.

ProFriendZoner · 2022-06-07T08:20:22+00:00

If you can hook up with one, you can hook up with 100.

Raskens1 · 2022-06-07T09:02:40+00:00

Sounds like she had beer goggles that night or you looked more attractive in the clubs lightning.

Aggressive_Soil_5134 · 2022-06-07T09:09:14+00:00

Who calls kissing hooking up?

Fapandwarmshowers · 2022-06-07T09:37:10+00:00

She was only interested when drinking which means she not really that into you

2022-06-07T10:22:56+00:00

Maybe she saw the “you’re beautiful because you don’t look fake” as a backhanded compliment, cause it kinda is. Sounds like it, with how she said the same to you in response. She also knows you’re only into her for shallow reasons because she’s attractive - she’d get plenty of men saying and thinking the exact same thing and you were just a casual fuck so ask yourself why would she want to go back for more?

Add to this the organism gap - how few women get off or are satisfied with the men they’ve had sex with. Sounds like she didn’t get off and so it really turned her off and she had no reason to want a repeat of that. If a man is lousy/selfish in bed then I don’t go back to him when he tries to go after me again - why the fuck would I if that’s all he has to offer, he benefits from it but I don’t cause he can’t even at least be good at it?? My honest opinion.

Here’s what the orgasm gap is and a huge reason women are far less interested in sex and don’t pursue men anywhere near as much as men pursue women - it’s because the risk to reward ratio is much less in our favour:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stress-and-sex/201510/the-orgasm-gap-simple-truth-sexual-solutions%3Famp

Sunnieside27 · 2022-06-07T12:52:10+00:00

She isn’t really for what you want so she doesn’t want to waste you time

brianjersy · 2022-06-07T13:28:50+00:00

why bringing a friend to a "date" in the first place?

coldbrew18 · 2022-06-07T14:27:05+00:00

Hook up with her friend.

2022-06-07T14:33:59+00:00

I guess now you know how it feels. Thank you and good night!

Puzzleheaded_Fox819 · 2022-06-07T14:57:42+00:00

These girls today all ghost, they have no values. Date outside of America/western civilization and it rapidly improves.

2022-06-07T15:18:06+00:00

She probably either just isn’t all that interested in you, or legitimately is pursuing this ex. It’s really sad how some narcissists can hook their victims. Not saying this is her case, but just take a look at reality and also what people are straight up telling you.

One of the best things you can do to reignite with some females is completely ignore them and move on with your life as if you never met. Nobody really likes desperate

Which may be how she’s acting to said ex 🤷🏼‍♀️ just leave it be. Not a great start at tru love tbh but if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.

Maybe try watching some of those “get your ex back” vids w a grain of salt 😂

Title	Hooked up with a girl at a club, she ghosted me, now got severe oneitis
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	115
Comments	101
Date	June 7, 2022 1:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v6ikxw/hooked_up_with_a_girl_at_a_club_she_ghosted_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/hooked-up-with-a-girl-at-a-club-she-ghosted-me-now.1257754 https://theredarchive.com/post/1257754

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