There are tons of guys out there who on the surface appear as if they should be highly successful with women— they are naturally good looking, have good careers, and are able display status through material items such as nice cars or clothing. Yet, these guys are somehow still struggling with dating.

Having status and your shit together is extremely attractive to women, but it certainly isn’t enough. The problem is that these type of guys are too safe— they assume that since they fit the mold of what society says women want,i.e. stability, that they should automatically be successful with women. Wrong.

Women are drawn to men who have some edge to them. This doesn’t mean being aggressive or a dick. You can still be kind and have edge and some balls. There are some elements to this:

  1. Style: conveying polarity and masculinity is more important than being naturally handsome. Do you notice that you’ll see attractive women with guys women who have tattoos, or have some element to their look that is atypical of what you see every day? This is an element of polarity that draws in the most attractive women; they are drawn to guys who stand out physically and don’t necessarily conform to what society expects them to do. This doesn’t mean you have to go out and get tattoos, piercings, or dress strangely. It does, however, that you shouldn’t be afraid to take some chances with your style, and incorporate that into how you project yourself. Think of how you want to convey masculinity in your look, in a way the makes your comfortable. If you’re balding, take the step and shave your head; if you’ve wanted to wear certain colors that are outside of your comfort zone of what you typically wear. Or wear a cologne that makes you confident, but might be considered a little bold or polarizing.

  2. Attitude. It may sound arrogant on the surface, but you have to carry the belief in you that you are an interesting person and any woman would be lucky to be with you. Again, there needs to be balance to this because it will veer into arrogance, but research has shown that people are attracted to those who are superior to them in some manner. Focus on areas in your life that you excel and can offer to others. When you are interacting with a beautiful woman, you can’t hold onto the belief that she holds all the cards. Beauty is common.

  3. Physicality. Quite simply, physical activities that allow you to compete with others or push you physically provide an almost immediate sense of confidence. Whether it is boxing, MMA, lifting weights, playing pickup basketball, the examples are endless. When you consistently put yourself in situations that stress your body or you are directly competing with others, you will have an air about you that will translate into your social interactions.

  4. Opinions and boundaries. “I’m not sure, what do you think?” should be removed from everyone’s lexicon. Women who are attracted to men who are decisive, and know what they want. Too often, the oposite occurs. Men are afraid to have balls, to say what is on their mind, even if it might offend or be met with disagreement. Sometimes this can be uncomfortable. However, being too deferential and nice is the quickest path to having a woman lose respect and attraction. This doesn’t mean you have to be a rigid asshole who doesn’t consider the opinions of others, but you have to lead. When a woman makes the majority of the decisions with her man following, the masculine and feminine energies are flipped.