Study confirms what Seddit has know forever

kungfu1 · 2013-05-13T15:50:18+00:00

Obvious study is obvious.

Red_Hot_Chile_Miners · 2013-05-13T19:41:22+00:00

This only proves that women don't want to sleep with guys that seem too caring of their problems.

Would you want to sleep with a chick who you just met that all of the sudden cares about all your problems, even though you two may have just met? Coming off as so caring early in a relationship isn't "beta", it just is strange and off-putting. It's almost untrustworthy; why should this guy I don't really know care about my problems??

This article is NOT saying you should be like this all the time. Being caring is incredibly important in a relationship. It works that way with men, women, children, anything. It's weird if you care about their lives off the bat, because why should you? But the more you get to know the person, the more you should start caring about them as a person. That's just simply what human relationships are.

tl;dr The study focused on initial receptiveness to sleeping with someone. Girls don't want to sleep with guys who instantly care, because it comes off as they don't really care, they're just trying to appease for sex. But caring is still important in the long-term.

im_fucking_zeez_brah · 2013-05-13T16:43:29+00:00

this is really depressing

abandonliberty · 2013-05-13T17:17:32+00:00

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uneekfreek · 2013-05-13T17:04:06+00:00

Want to love a woman? Don't love her. Thats how you get her love.

carsonxyz · 2013-05-13T16:54:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

itseemstoberaining · 2013-05-14T08:36:00+00:00

Do you guys realize that pretending you're not interested -- or adjusting your level of shown interest based on how attracted you think that would make her -- is manipulative? It is. It's playing games. It's fake.

And it builds on the hidden assumption that if you were just your unfiltered, real self, she wouldn't be attracted to you. If you were good as you are already, then you could express whatever emotion you feel to her, and it wouldn't matter, right? (All PUA techniques and routines and most advice in general build on this assumption, actually.)

It's perfectly okay to show concern for a woman, to empathize with a woman. The women I like wouldn't appreciate it at all if a guy was distant and not empathetic. You can develop deep connections quickly if you empathize with a woman and listen well and show compassion.

What's not okay is being needy, lacking boundaries, lacking feelings of self-worth and self-esteem, supplicating, approval seeking, being manipulative by expecting something in return for your 'niceness', and so on... THESE are the behaviors that are unattractive. Combine these with an inability to show sexual interest and you will end up in the friend zone for sure.

But being a genuinely good person is not unattractive. It's attractive... The only women turned off by a real good man are women you don't want to be dating...

Leajjes · 2013-05-13T21:14:09+00:00

Don't be needy also some people in the comments need to watch Tony Robbins' "Create a New Story" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc4rWleclXs&list=WL0D881FC834E76E20

trueanalytic · 2013-05-13T16:48:41+00:00

If science just confirmed it, then we didn't know it. We suspected it- strongly-but we didn't know it.

Birdoftruth · 2013-05-13T16:55:41+00:00

The same thing could be said about a girl who is too caring on the first date. It denotes a lack of boundaries and clinginess. There is no reason someone should be so open right from the get-go...unless they're a clinger.

bAsebAll1332 · 2013-05-13T19:36:59+00:00

Mark Manson said it best. Women (or people in general for that matter) are turned off by 'needy' individuals.

BigBlackPenis · 2013-05-13T13:59:25+00:00

What a waste of money. Who funds these studies? It's common sense. Just like how the earth is so obviously flat.

m00n1 · 2013-05-14T02:44:14+00:00

In the study, women were less likely to want to sleep with male acquaintances who expressed concern when they opened up than with men who were less emotionally responsive.

If your goal is just sex (which is fine and true for much, but not all, of seddit) then that's fine. It doesn't cover broader long term attraction though.

92648 · 2013-05-13T23:38:44+00:00

In other news....The sky is blue

AngraMainyuu · 2013-05-13T23:58:51+00:00

I mean this shit's common sense, or it should be. I look at this way: a stranger I just met starts opening up about X,Y,Z but what reason do I have to be emotionally invested? They're basically a stranger at this point, right? I'll lend a compassionate ear, but look hot-tits, if I never see you again it'll be just another day for me. Kapeesh?

elcojudo · 2013-05-14T01:05:29+00:00

Maybe someone can clarify: The study proves that women are more likely to sleep with men who don't show emotion or who try to empathize with a woman sho is sharing her feelings? Surely this cannot be the case.

itsmevichet · 2013-05-14T14:47:04+00:00

Newsflash - if links like this one throw you into an existential crisis, you probably suck with women.

2013-05-14T18:09:23+00:00

How can you be less emotionally responsive? Like, can somebody provide a context with examples for me. I'm new at this, and a helping hand would be great.

HelloHiHello · 2013-05-13T15:01:23+00:00

damngringo · 2013-05-13T14:40:38+00:00

First read it on Heartiste

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-05-13T18:16:12+00:00

Ha, one of the top comments is some butthurt dude claiming that ultimately it's only penis size that matters and he somehow relates this to gold-digging and shallowness. I wish I could reach out and help that poor soul but I fear he is too far gone :(

jbg89 · 2013-05-13T23:28:04+00:00

Wtf? I don't get it cuz when I try to be a dick I get less positive results than when I'm a nice guy.

Title	Study confirms what Seddit has know forever
Author	Dexter77
Upvotes	315
Comments	78
Date	May 13, 2013 12:27 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1e8o14/study_confirms_what_seddit_has_know_forever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/study-confirms-what-seddit-has-know-forever.1352227 https://theredarchive.com/post/1352227

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