What to talk about with someone you’re aiming to date long term?

Therocksays2020 · 2021-01-20T07:51:30+00:00

You try to stimulate their mind. Asking about philosophies. Challenges. Get them to just really feel like they can talk to you about any and everything

CerebralMessiah · 2021-01-20T10:17:44+00:00

If you are 100% serious about a relationship,ask about life goals,even if you are mentally not completely compatable,life goals is what matters in the relationship.

ppytty · 2021-01-20T11:12:03+00:00

Their feelings, dreams, fears, childhood, family, personal values, favorite things.

Basically the deeper personal things that lead to conversations that last through the night.

I don't think evaluating the relationship capabilities like asking their future plans, what kind of relationships they want or whether they want kids can be very fruitful. They are too straightforward for me at least, and you need to know what the other person is under the surface before you can even think of relationship with them.

harvey_croat · 2021-01-20T10:37:15+00:00

Plan things together, initiate some experience which you can talk about. Don't fanatsize that you will have unlimited talk with any person. You should have some attraction, proactiveness and patience

macroxela · 2021-01-20T10:17:43+00:00

Definitely the usual fun topics like you mentioned along with some flirting. But if you're seeking a long-term relationship it's best to bring up serious topics early on. Deal-breakers, life plans, what both of you believe a relationship is. Best to talk about serious topics early on so you don't waste each other's time and avoid unnecessary pain.

Many people tend to avoid these topics since it'll "scare off" the other person or come off as "too needy & desperate". That can happen but what matters more is how you talk about these topics. If you ask directly at an inappropriate time or context it definitely comes off as needy. Talk about them when both of you are comfortable and shown some vulnerability to each other it'll show that you approach relationships in a healthy way.

Lord_Augastus · 2021-01-20T14:05:32+00:00

Hey gurl, wat u doin 4 the rest of ur lyf,

she goes: I dont even kno wat im doin tonight wink*

IzzYaBoy · 2021-01-20T09:19:17+00:00

This is a good question!!!

Battle-Snake · 2021-01-20T11:22:44+00:00

Avoid easy to talk about topics. For example, in film, when a director wants to show the personality of an actor in a movie, they will give them a challenge or introduce conflict. How the subject chooses to resolve that conflict is the demonstration of their character. You can use the same approach to get to know each other better.

My wife and I often play “the question game” while on a long drive. Questions like, Where would you like to travel to the most? What was your favorite Christmas gift? What would you do if you found $50 on the floor at an airport?

somenightsgone · 2021-01-20T13:38:26+00:00

Careful with that, all women like a fun relationship and of course they love sex as well, if you’re a different person with this woman, you’ll fail, you’re planning too much, maybe you get too boring in the eyes of the woman you care, I’m not saying “go for it, talk about drugs and sex” because if that’s your conversation, you seriously need to improve it, even if you’re young. But you still need to be fun and flirty but not too intense.

Long term relationships are not something you plan; you start dating, and if you keep having fun and sex and sharing moments, you suddenly realize you’re in a long term relationship; that’s not something you propose to someone. It happens along the way.

An excellent way to improve your conversation is to read many books, just choose the kind of topics that will make you a better person, identify your ups and downs and search for the best books about this topic. You’ll increase your vocabulary and topics of conversation. Women love interesting men, someone who can talk about a lot of things without being cocky.

Snoo-68897 · 2021-01-20T17:41:33+00:00

Honestly I talk about family members it always makes someone feel special when they get to know that you’re interested in ppl close to them

VDKay · 2021-01-20T18:23:51+00:00

But if you’re taking it slow or building rapport with someone you see once a week or something

If you are already sleeping with them, then you can move to more personal stuff, like things you wouldn't share easily with strangers. But anyway, it's a fallacy to think you need different tactics. Seduction is all about presenting the best version of yourself, whatever that may be. If crazy travel and partying IS your thing, then talk about those. In any case, you wouldn't want to start something based a false image of yourself (especially if serious).

I personally try to make talk about the girl herself, like what she is into and why, or any emotional life stories (sharing mine as well). But that's no different when aiming for something serious or less so. To come to think of it, I never started anything serious by aiming for something serious from the start. And the times I aimed for something serious before even sleeping with the girl, it turned out badly.

uneducated_scholar · 2021-01-20T11:16:55+00:00

anime😏

_bvb09 · 2021-01-20T14:59:15+00:00

Judging by some of the answers here it's obvious you're asking this in the wrong subreddit lol.

Tbh I would ask her questions about her childhood, likes, etc. This gives them the sign you want to get to know them as a person, not just for a hook-up. Either they will back-off or reciprocate and you have your answer.

The next step is to remember and act on some of the answers. E.g. she tells you her favourite book as a kid -> you buy her that book as a surprise, etc (just be careful not to do this too quickly).

exuberancemethod · 2021-01-20T20:24:34+00:00

Talking about painful moments and times in life is a very fast and effective way to connect with someone on a deeper level

Mcfusion31 · 2021-01-20T10:08:36+00:00

You should date and let her initiate it for an example her asking what are we? If men the man does it he goes into her frame in which she will walk all over yo

MisterShogunate · 2021-01-20T18:36:55+00:00

You can't shape someone to be a long term partners they either reveal themselves to be one or they don't. Stop forcing people to be someone they are not.

diceykoala · 2021-01-20T19:15:39+00:00

Theres a list of I think its 26 questions to make two people fall in love. Let me tell you, it works. It's not some weird shit but its basic questions that make you think and answer intelligently. Your answers show things from within, and you each ask each other so you get to listen. You both end up sharing and listening and each time I've started, the conversation goes to different deeper topics very naturally. Each night we tried to complete them we failed, ending up sleeping together and after a week we had a hard time separating. It's not a spell or hypnosis it's just sharing on a different level. The questions force topics that reveal yourself. Attracted on the outside and now revealed on the inside? The person is hooked.

drc909 · 2021-01-20T19:26:25+00:00

If you gotta ask what you need to talk about then you shouldn’t be dating .. that comes natural.. I can’t tell you what to say..

PatrickIIDX · 2021-01-20T22:57:35+00:00

In person or texting?

Femdom_curious · 2021-01-20T13:22:46+00:00

That's a very weird question and way of considering human relations. Do you wonder what to talk about to someone you're aiming to make a friend? I don't think so, you just let the natural energy makes it up. If you're "aiming to date longterm", it should more be the consequence of an intense connection and enthousiastic talks. So you shouldn't wonder about these questions.

Grass6862 · 2021-01-20T12:01:27+00:00

Hello pretty you are so gorgeous 😍💋😍

pacg · 2021-01-20T17:05:38+00:00

When you meet a person who really catches your fancy, the natural impulse is to learn more about them, what they like, their thoughts and aspirations, their vulnerabilities, hope and dreams yada yada yada. One way to make this happen is to share yours with them, to make them open themselves by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Then you can discover who they are and see if what you discover makes sense.

Savage_inprogress · 2021-01-20T17:14:35+00:00

i think in general stuff geared towards the future. like future plans to travel for example. also some philosophical stuff is always good to see if you’re kinda on the same wavelength. dreams and goals.

RunsFastAfterCoffee · 2021-01-20T18:35:50+00:00

I'm looking to date long term and I usually keep the first date pretty light (hobbies, vacation plans, very basics about them), particularly for an online date where it's your very first meeting. But if it's going well I ask what they're looking for and see if it's a relationship. That usually is a good segway to broader goals and plans. Sometimes I ask before the date while talking online, but I can generally tell based off the level of detail and content of their profile what they're looking for.

iron_ee · 2021-01-20T20:29:28+00:00

Idk man, try to get to know them? You are putting them on this insanely high pedestal. You dont always have to be engaging or interesting, they should bring some of that too. If you think like this, it’s doomed. Just be yourself and talk about things you’re interested in sharing with her or learning about her.

DanyyBoyy · 2021-01-20T22:18:43+00:00

Talk about what you normally want to talk about. If you’re planning on dating someone long term, that will weed out people without similar interests or people you wouldn’t normally enjoy conversing with.

Particular_Visual531 · 2021-01-20T23:47:48+00:00

You want to still engage with them, be yourself. If you have great travel stories talk about them. You still want to flirt. You should still tease them and joke alot. It shows confidence. But ask about them. And you still need sexual inneundo at the appropriate time and level because you want them to see you as a potential partner and not a friend. The reality its how you treat them on the dates and after the dates that makes a difference between a hook up and a long term relationship.

r35urr3ct10n · 2021-01-21T00:57:57+00:00

Make them enjoy the time they spend around you. No matter how long or how short that time is. Find out what makes them smile and also make it a point to smile at them. Humans have a weird ability to spread emotions by only body language and facial expression. A smile is all it takes to turns someone's day around sometimes. When you are talking to someone try to focus on just smiling and notice how it automatically lights up the other person's face. Instill enjoyment into them. Don't talk about anything negative even if they initiate negative thoughts themselves.

Don't focus so hard on "what should I say" or "is this the right thing to say". Just talk about genuinely good things. Fake a smile if you have to. It will eventually turn into a positive interaction on its own if the person is halfway decent.

Shadow__Account · 2021-01-21T17:50:39+00:00

Self improvement/ game.

Title	What to talk about with someone you’re aiming to date long term?
Author	FaithInStrangers94
Upvotes	563
Comments	71
Date	January 20, 2021 7:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/l13y8p/what_to_talk_about_with_someone_youre_aiming_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-talk-about-with-someone-youre-aiming-to.1428485 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428485

Comments