Going for my first approach in about an hour

may_I_please_come · 2019-04-12T16:14:53+00:00

I nearly pussied out asking out my now-wife. I got angry at myself and went No! I'm tired of going home and hating myself! Any rejection, humiliation or other terrible interaction with my crush will be better than the self-loathing of pussying out. I turned around and marched up and nervously approached. That was 6 years ago next week. We're married and have a daughter. That day changed everything and was the best decision I've ever made.

itsfun2Bdumb · 2019-04-12T14:30:58+00:00

I’d just like to say good luck, we’re all counting on you.

BigSnips · 2019-04-12T16:52:22+00:00

Rule #1: Rejection is better than regret. - The Book of Pook

Notgaytoday · 2019-04-12T16:11:18+00:00

Dude. Take a shower, wash your hair, brush your teeth, trim your beard stubble, trim and clean your fingernails, put on some fresh clothes and make a habit of doing that every day! Why would you expect a girl to give you a positive response if you look tattered.

Joezerony · 2019-04-12T18:47:19+00:00

Bruh if you dont attempt anything with this girl next week im going to find out where you live. Im going to come to your house and im going to Anton Chigurh you.

Maddynamite · 2019-04-12T14:36:05+00:00

Best of luck champ!

_CatsClaws_ · 2019-04-12T17:33:06+00:00

How about if instead of approaching this girl, which you clearly seem to be emotionally invested in already, you approach other girls which you have never seen before and say "hi" or whatever. Preferably girls you find attractive.

I know how nerve racking it can be when you're inexperienced, but that's the point, it's to get your inner mind to understand that you're not going to die when you approach girls.

It might make it easier for you to approach this other girl afterwards. Although, to be honest, if you're at this point, the best you can do for yourself is approach as many girls as possible, especially since you're in college. Ton of really good looking girls in college!

sircomeseyesd · 2019-04-12T16:02:21+00:00

Spontaneity is the way to go. Planning only adds pressure.

Hmurie · 2019-04-12T14:34:34+00:00

Brother good it’s literally no big deal. Long dick style

dweezymonae · 2019-04-12T15:45:33+00:00

All the best man.Dont forget the 3 second rule!

pimpin-it · 2019-04-12T18:56:21+00:00

Wtf your a pussy jajaja

lulpwned · 2019-04-12T19:03:31+00:00

You said bully you.....so imma need you to stop being a little bitch about this. How u gonna be in 5 years? Alone. Bc u can't grow a pair and talk to someone. Life won't change itself. Ur going to be sitting there alone bc you can't grow a pair and say "hi how are you". Tell your friend if u haven't talked to someone to throw ur wallet in the river. Seriously make him do it. Do you want to avoid talking to someone or would u rather replace ur license, cards, and cash? Bc that sounds like a huge pain in the ass to me.

sarge_slayer · 2019-04-12T14:36:37+00:00

🙏🙏🙏best wishes for you my man

LesWhite · 2019-04-12T15:44:42+00:00

So, how'd it go?

thepuagrinch · 2019-04-12T22:26:30+00:00

And you’re still getting upvotes ? Lol

Seddit is fucked.

PoeiraDePoligno · 2019-04-12T17:27:26+00:00

hands are less than perfectly groomed,

I swear to got the things I read on this sub

slickup · 2019-04-12T16:27:28+00:00

Just do it next time! Don't worry about it man, force yourself to talk to her and then you'll have to do it once you started.

TallHonky · 2019-04-12T17:03:19+00:00

Do it knowing you'll fail, but at least you get the experience.

Nate1n22 · 2019-04-12T19:37:03+00:00

I'm disappointed in you son

MrMemper · 2019-04-12T20:08:27+00:00

You made the common mistake of being a sniper type approacher. Be more like a scatter shot gun. Approach and talk to all sorts of people in all sorts of situations. When you get so used to it that you don’t even realize that you talk to everyone, then you make specific approaches to girls you are attracted to.

Doing it your way will stress you out bc your mind isn’t conditioned and you are placing too much emphasis on win/lose. It’s actually better that you didn’t approach her bc all of that nervous energy would be seen by her without a doubt.

If just approaching is your goal then you gotta get comfortable talking to everyone. If getting a date is your goal, then it’s the same. If it’s getting laid, well, you have a lot of work to do. Point is: get out there and approach people (not for asking out mind you) until it doesn’t shake you anymore.

darksidessj25 · 2019-04-12T15:53:54+00:00

Did she give you IOIs man? Good luck bro. If a chick glances at you 2-3 times and hold your eye contact while talking to her you’ll most definitely get it. I got a chicks snap today. Be sure to have a Instagram to.

PaulHarden · 2019-04-12T15:04:29+00:00

Yes or no, you will be a stronger person for asking.

You don't approach, you don't improve.

MasterChanTV · 2019-04-12T15:33:38+00:00

It’s a lot easier once the first one is out of the way.

slowpoketail · 2019-04-12T15:43:58+00:00

RemindMe! 1 hour "detroitriods"

Cowboy_With_No_Name · 2019-04-12T15:48:05+00:00

BALLS TO THE WALL, BEST OF LUCK

streetMD · 2019-04-12T16:04:49+00:00

Go up to a woman today and tell her she looks nice. Then walk away. Do that a bunch to get lubricated.

Notgaytoday · 2019-04-12T16:26:33+00:00

Then get there...

Ironchar · 2019-04-12T16:39:51+00:00

Dude...your 15? Not the end of the world....

Shit your still a baby to some of us...you'll be fine. Many opportunities will cineand you'll f*** them up part of life

LumpyResident · 2019-04-12T16:45:34+00:00

Best to get over your fear of what others will think of you early in life. I promise you that you will regret not doing it more than you could ever possibly regret a rejection. I hope it goes well for you, but even if it doesn't, there is no downside for you. Even if it goes as bad as it possibly can, a couple days/weeks later, you'll realize that you're still alive, still living your life, and that the only power the rejection had over your life was power you gave it. If you can learn this early in life, (by learn I mean not just know its true, but feel like its true) you'll be much better off for it.

mojitsu_ · 2019-04-12T17:07:35+00:00

stop planning it out, stop overthinking it. every time i actually approached somebody i only started thinking about it when i was already half way over there and it would look weird to turn back. if you start overthinking it 3 hours before you're gonna panic like 200 times before it even comes around

pgbabse · 2019-04-12T18:08:34+00:00

Don't dwell on this mistake. Do it next time with the same or another girl

BigTinBaltimore · 2019-04-12T19:04:46+00:00

Dude, confidence comes from within.... find it!!! Secondly, be cool but don’t give a fuck about the outcome, just do it, girls love guys with balls!!

balder50n · 2019-04-12T20:01:23+00:00

Warmups my man! Just like a workout, start by saying hello to strangers in the halls, shoot a compliment at a stranger, get yourself feeling loose and social then just roll that straight towards a girl, it's gonna feel more authentic to you and her. Good luck

WhatsReddit123456 · 2019-04-12T20:02:15+00:00

Just go old school...walk up to her and hand her a note telling her how you feel about her.

Lalimonade · 2019-04-12T20:18:43+00:00

Heey man I've been there, all you have to do is breath, stay calm, say "Fuck it, what's the worst that could happen?" And go!!

wowzacowza · 2019-04-12T20:58:58+00:00

I will tell you one of the best pieces of advice I have come across on here: approach every interaction as a way to add value to someone's day. If you make the approach all about "I need to ask this girl out" you'll feel nervous about her rejecting you. Instead, focus on just being a fun, engaging person to interact with, and making her day better for having talked to you. Tell her a good joke, story, etc or share with her some interesting thing you know. One thing to avoid is just complimenting her... Try to focus on things of value to give. The great thing about this is because you aren't pressuring yourself into a forced interaction, you'll naturally come across as more confident. If the interaction is going well, steer it toward asking her out by adding in some intent. You want to avoid the 30 minute conversation to nowhere. That means after 5-10 minutes of talking to you, she should be aware that you intend to date her, and by 30 mins in, she should know that if she wants the interactions with you to continue, it will be in a dating-type of relationship only (unless you are ok with being just friends). And then my own advice: you're young and you will get rejected many times in your life. But the longer you wait to overcome your fear of rejection, the more opportunities you're missing.

CraftyManiac · 2019-04-12T20:59:43+00:00

Just a pointer for next time. Don't post to Reddit saying that you will approach a girl. You lost the moment you started thinking of doing it. Which was at least an hour or more. If you see a nice girl, stop and approach right away. Don't think about it just do it. Otherwise you'll get inside your own head.

BLOCKEDBYJAMESS · 2019-04-12T21:15:20+00:00

Pussy. Go get her.

LolNowWhat · 2019-04-12T22:05:43+00:00

hahaha how ironic your mind got the better of you in AP Psych

Dick_C_Normus7 · 2019-04-12T23:43:04+00:00

You're overthinking it, allowing it to grow in your mind and intimidate you way more than it should. You have to remember, you're both human beings. You may see her as more perfect than you, which is why you put her on such a high pedestal, but she's just as flawed as everyone else. She takes shits just like you. Just walk up nonchalant, keep eye contact, keep your breathing slow and controlled. It's not nearly as big of a deal as you think it is. Be genuine and talk to her.

SJW_Valor · 2019-04-12T23:59:43+00:00

You little bitch

joman2004 · 2019-04-13T00:30:18+00:00

You will get em next time!

ThatFuckingTwat · 2019-04-13T00:36:30+00:00

You won't do it. I can already tell from the edits. Probably just looking for attention from reddit as she clearly gives you none.

EveryGoodUNWasTaken · 2019-04-13T02:40:20+00:00

There's this girl in one of my classes I want to ask out. I think she lost what little interest she had though. If I were to ask her out now it would be super awkward and make me look indecisive.

Notgaytoday · 2019-04-13T03:12:15+00:00

You can buy 100 pair of nitrile gloves on Amazon for about $12. They protect your hands from cuts and chemicals and keep you hands clean. If you work in a professional shop ask your manager to buy them as shop supplies. I always wear them when doing mechanical work on my cars, motorcycle, etc. It’s possible to be “rugged” and clean at the same time.

Slut_Slayer9000 · 2019-04-13T03:56:22+00:00

ITT: People forgetting not to put the pussy on the pedestal. Its just a girl dude, don't go buy new fresh clothes and build up this fantasy in your head. Just go talk to her, its not rocket science.

ZarathustraSpenta · 2019-04-13T03:59:52+00:00

this pretty pathetic, posting on reddit an hour before you plan to talk to a girl. you sound really creepy. lol.

jay0621 · 2019-04-13T04:17:40+00:00

upadate? you pussy ass bitch!

EmberPUBG · 2019-04-13T04:52:36+00:00

Hey bro don’t beat your self up to much your not a pussy. It’s to do with fight or flight I talk to girls at my work everyday beautiful girls in fact I make no advances I don’t try anything I joke around and use my humour to mask my uncontrollable social anxiety it got to the point where girls asked me if I was gay. So trust me I know what it feels like to not be able to make a move. You just gotta do a 3 2 1 in your head and just believe she’s gonna appreciate the guy who goes up to her instead of a dude in the corner doing nothing.

kalinkessler · 2019-04-13T10:13:07+00:00

You need to first go out and approach 20 randoms before you do that.

pasdesoucisboy · 2019-04-12T16:55:32+00:00

You’re a bitch cuz

jesspagan · 2019-04-12T14:54:30+00:00

Please come back and tell us how it goes!

constantine_king69 · 2019-04-12T15:34:15+00:00

⏰..... Update!

zackery9732 · 2019-04-12T15:52:28+00:00

Just remember. Walk with a mean dick

raptorman181 · 2019-04-12T16:25:12+00:00

You'll feel even stupider when you finally approach and it goes super smoothly and it wasnt even that big of a deal to begin with. I sure as hell did my first time XD

Errantsquire · 2019-04-12T16:34:15+00:00

Approach more than just this 1 girl start approaching lots of girls

CoBudemeRobit · 2019-04-12T17:08:15+00:00

So here's where you fucked up. And I can tell you that I knew this was gonna happen even after reading just the title. You built it up waaaaay up. And even if you did manage to 'catch' her in the hallway youd make it awkward and your game would be mostly recovery which sounds like something that wouldnt be your best game either. Keep it natural. Satelite her until the opportunity arises and say somethjbg stupid like that green on your backpack is dope and see how she responds. When you start overthinking and your hartrate goes up youve turned it to playing a game on hard setting bro. More power to you. Maybe practice chit chat on uglier girls if thats not your thing. Dont go straight for the trophy just to fumble

thahotboyingrey · 2019-04-12T17:31:28+00:00

Dude it was expected don't bug it. Just approach another chick, another day, week month. Someday you will end up fucking someone 2 tips that i can give you: Everytime that you see a chick you want to approach yell out lould greating from distance from the moment you have seen her. And walk straight up to her (or run towards here if you are that much in your head) Another is just make a mental statement as you are about to do something. And act upon that statement to reinforce that belief. example: You see a cute chick and wanna approach her Just mentally say "i am a guy who approaches cute chikcs" and then act upon that statement (using tip number 1). Repeat it how much you need it in the moment. Try it out and see if it will help

lurkewd · 2019-04-12T16:01:18+00:00

You may get a rejection but good luck

Falk358 · 2019-04-12T17:19:05+00:00

Just envision how good it will feel once you got it over with, no matter if she says yes. I always felt elated after the approach, because it is something very brave. That way, you have a tangible reward which you can work towards.

skipper0402 · 2019-04-12T19:20:32+00:00

Once you finally do it once, you’ll completely realize why fear is no reason at all to not just do it.

saahilk19 · 2019-04-13T06:57:44+00:00

How do you groom your hands? 🤔

Brohsah · 2019-04-13T07:55:29+00:00

Stop being a faggot. Don't post shit like this, it makes u seem like such a gay cunt. Holy shit. How much of a bitch can u be? You should probably just kill yourself, ur a complete waste of space on this planet. Fuck u

gothgar · 2019-04-13T14:08:08+00:00

Dude, don't only approach "that girl"

Approach all the girls... do it right. fucking. now.

lsdhead · 2019-04-12T15:07:34+00:00

Your hands ? lol I dont think shell be looking at your hands while talking. Good luck!

Title	Going for my first approach in about an hour
Author	Detroids
Upvotes	217
Comments	99
Date	April 12, 2019 2:27 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bce6k7/going_for_my_first_approach_in_about_an_hour/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/going-for-my-first-approach-in-about-an-hour.1466323 https://theredarchive.com/post/1466323

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