Keep getting banned from subs left and right for talking about my experiences as a male sex abuse victim to rebut anti-male rhetoric

Witty-Cardiologist76 · 2024-03-22T18:42:54+00:00

I have some sexual trauma from childhood. People just dont want to hear about it cause they dont give a shit. A weird side effect of this is that its frowned upon to have sexual hang ups as a male ("all guys wanna do is fuck" etc) so you seem weird if you have a negative relationship with sex. You cant explain WHY you have a weird relationship to sex though cause no one cares. I feel like alot of logic surrounding mens experiences are kinda "chicken or egg" circular logic.

SpicyMarshmellow · 2024-03-22T16:46:37+00:00

This experience is precisely why I've removed myself from leftist spaces almost entirely over the last few years.

DenimGod4lyfe · 2024-03-22T20:57:29+00:00

I got kicked from some of my favorite anarchist subreddits for posting on men's rights subreddits about how I got hatespeeched for being a man on a date.

Not only do they invalidate male victims' experiences, they'll boot you from their community if you even talk about it. This has been a large part of why I've distanced myself from socialist/anarchist spaces too.

GAMESnotVIOLENT · 2024-03-22T19:21:27+00:00

I've had to flee my home under the direct threat of physical violence from my psychotic mom as a kid and I received no community help. I had to couch surf until my abuser calmed down and "let" me return because I had nowhere else to go. Shelter and support for men and boys doesn't exist, but whenever I bring that fact up, on or offline, I get shut down and the issue gets trivialized by the supposedly progressive people in my life. The utter lack of empathy for men is disgusting.

lemons7472 · 2024-03-22T23:07:26+00:00

Demonizing all men as violent, and defending women, including women who abuse and rape, solely because they are women, puts women on a moral pedestal and that’s how many people prefer it especially on the left. In a crowd full of folks who legit see all men as awful, hateful, violent and lack moral, people that try to bring attention to the fact that some women also commonly commit assault, are hateful, abusive, commit rape, or SA on other people, actually humanizes women way more than the crowd that tries to pretend that women are perfect and men are monsters and anyone who says otherwise must be silenced and is misogynistic.

Humanization means you recognize both the good and bad of a person no matter their identify, you don’t demonize their entire identify, you don’t necessarily morally pedestal their identity for the sake of their identify despite that person doing something bad.

wx_rebel · 2024-03-22T22:39:40+00:00

Modern society seems convinced that there has to be a victimized minority. In reality, each gender, race, etc have their own unique challenges that can really negatively impact those groups. Ideally, we would all work together to eliminate those barriers for everyone, rather than pointing figures and crying about who has it the worst.

mo_leahq · 2024-03-22T19:25:32+00:00

Recently , I realized that for alot of people it is normal that men get abused sexually , and I really can't understand the reason behind it but I have a theory that is because the society doesn't consider men as human.

henrysmyagent · 2024-03-22T18:10:33+00:00

I like to respond to the "Teach men not to rape" crowd with "Teach women not to drown babies or throw them in dumpsters to die."

Of course, women are offended by that because it is offensive. Some of them are even aware of the moral equivalence between the two statements.

Most women cannot see the similarity because most women are completely incapable of accepting that men are human beings with human emotions.

OP, your mistake is thinking that women will feel your pain. They cannot. It is a waste of time to even try.

bad-britches · 2024-03-22T19:30:25+00:00

I lost a greater portion of my IRL friend group because I shared my experience as a counter to one of them saying men don't experience harm in that way. My comment was seen as anti-woman. I still think about it often.

lemons7472 · 2024-03-22T22:59:19+00:00

You said my exact feelings over these spaces that very conveniently try their hardest to dismiss or shrug off any instance of women assaulting or harming others, while proceeding to generalize men as all harmful to women. They downplay it by saying it doesn’t happen much (while accusing you of downplaying women getting SA’d because you brought up how women SA people as a counter to their “all/most men rant”) and will go as far to silence anyone who tries to be just as critical of women who SA, as they are critical of ALL men because some of them do SA. To me, it just drives home the point that people will always ignore female perpetrators and male victims. It goes against the narrative of men being evil and women being only victims.

White_Immigrant · 2024-03-23T00:36:07+00:00

The way you've been treated is absolutely shitty and entirely unacceptable. I (only one voice I know) assertively try and reclaim the left wing space alone that is inclusive, accepting and with the notion of solidarity at its core. Any ideology, particularly including identity politics, that deliberately excluded anyone, or which makes gross generalisations of entire groups of people based on immutable characteristics, does not belong in left wing spaces. We should retake or recreate them.

WeEatBabies · 2024-03-22T17:24:18+00:00

Just keep telling the world you are being silenced and you don't have a voice, and also mention who silenced you!

Real left people know it's not right, and they will listen!

Intergalacticio · 2024-03-22T20:50:39+00:00

Yeah, in many subreddits you need to be extra careful about what you say, particularly about men’s social issues; reading the room is a must. But I’ll still like to allude to the idea anyway even if it is in a sub that won’t take kindly to it. I like to get feedback from disagreeing opinions.

Comrade9841 · 2024-03-22T18:46:53+00:00

This happened yesterday.

Virtual_Piece · 2024-03-22T16:55:10+00:00

First time? You'll get used to it

Song_of_Pain · 2024-03-23T08:33:44+00:00

Yup, same thing just happened to me on /r/bropill. The mods there are very against male victims of sex crimes being treated with care, and think we should just shut the fuck up about it and let the real worthy humans, (white) women, receive care and attention.

AigisxLabrys · 2024-03-22T19:53:26+00:00

What is Womad and Megalia?

KPplumbingBob · 2024-03-23T13:06:01+00:00

There are basically NO spaces where you're allowed to talk about this. Hell, simply talking about men's rights by itself will get you an "incel" label on vast majority of reddit.

bigred9310 · 2024-03-23T01:54:38+00:00

No surprise. It is angering that Men are expected to shut up about it.

HedgeRunner · 2024-03-23T12:39:15+00:00

Unfortunately most places on Reddit is radical and far left with positions so predictable from mainstream media that it's sad.

eli_ashe · 2024-03-23T04:38:01+00:00

Lefty spaces generally, maybe especially online, maybe also irl idk, do clearly have a problem with a brand of feminism. I'm gonna be upfront and say 'not all women' and 'not all feminism'. From what I've been able to tell, online feminism is largely its own brand of feminism, that isn't reflective of all feminists' takes on things. It is likely an amalgamation of the worst parts of feminism stitched together due to the various algorithms which infamously prioritize divisiveness, not unity.

on reddit it is up and down votes, for instance. Facebook is likes. Each of these breed controversy, hatred, and divisiveness.

I think part of what is going to be able to distinguish lefty men's issues groups from righty tighties is by acknowledging that there are non-bad feminist views, and real women's issues. Not focusing on them, not centering them, certainly not doing here in this subreddit group, but just recognizing that they exist. I'd even go so far as to suggest that folks could try doing some filtering of the issues, by finding what feminist ideas aren't misandrist.

In other words, not being reactionary to their shittiness.

Since this is a lefty space, I think it is also important for folks to recognize that feminism IS NOT NECESSARILY LEFTIST. I cannot stress this point enough. In the academics of it, in the praxis of it, in the ideas it expresses. they are not all leftists, nor even necessarily 'left leaning', this is a political fiction that was started in the 90s and early 00s. Prior to this folks left right and center were feminists, and in the academics of it has always not been politically aligned. As I like to point out, Marget Thatcher was a hard core feminist, so is hilary clinton, some folks would call nancy reagan a feminist, and a host of conservatives are feminists. The point being, folks in leftist spaces blindly espousing feminist thought, ideas, and so forth are not necessarily espousing compatibly leftist ideas.

I regularly see feminists in lefty groups espouse pretty wildly conservative ideas to be blunt bout it, and even quote feminists who are well known to be conservative.

I've not really seen folks in feminist or left leaning spaces come to a real reckoning on this. It isn't that there are like, psyop shite happening there either, it is that you got folks who legit think bc they are feminist, they must be left leaning, and to focus on 'women's issues' necessarily means they are focusing on 'lefty issues', and anyone not agreeing with their hot feminist takes is therefore necessarily 'not a lefty'.

I'm really not trying to defend the folks doing this shite. My crew been organizing for a long time, we've seen them pull this divisive shite for generations now. It's a real problem.

short story I think is illustrative of the point:

I've two friends who were bernie delegates in 2016 in different regions who told the same story to me. According to them, all the diversity in the party was pro bernie, which were all the lefties not just the liberals. no shame to the liberals here. as they described it 'If I were to provide a demographic for the clintonites, it would be Karens'.

To my mind, that is what we're basically dealing with in lefty spaces.

Nonetheless, there they are.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2024-03-22T21:56:55+00:00

jesus thats rough

tzaanthor · 2024-03-25T06:06:35+00:00

Might want to do two things: 1. Send emails to the relevant resources of Reddit regarding their company policies. 2. When that does nothing, shop this around to every publication that you think might be sympathetic to mens rights. Be sure to document all your evidence and show them...

jpla86 · 2024-03-22T23:27:31+00:00

Then they wonder why more men are abandoning the left and have a more adversarial view of feminism, based on recent polling.

Tevorino · 2024-03-23T02:26:44+00:00

The general problem that the OP describes, of getting banned for simply mentioning men's issues, even when done in a perfectly reasonable and respectful manner, is a real and legitimate problem, which is definitely worthy of being discussed here. I am absolutely not arguing anything to the contrary of that.

That said, this is how OP behaves elsewhere, calling someone a "deranged zionist" for simply having said "Not a lawyer, but calls to genocide seems pretty illegal to me." Said person doesn't appear to have ever claimed to be a zionist, or to have ever said anything in support of anything the Israeli government has done.

Based on that example, I would encourage all reading this to consider the possibility that OP's behaviour might have played a larger role, in getting banned elsewhere, than disagreement with the actual point that OP was trying to make.

Please note that the above link above definitely worked at the time I posted this. As long as OP stands by his words and has no reason to try to conceal his past conduct, it still works now.

EDIT: OP edited the linked comment to change "deranged Zionists like yourself" to just "deranged Zionists". This is reflected in the timestamp indicating when it was last edited.

averageKovaaker · 2024-03-23T00:05:07+00:00

feminists don't hate men but gyno centrism does

Alt4Gaming · 2024-03-23T12:13:09+00:00

I got banned from mens rights for constantly talking about sexism towards women.

Often when people are trying to discuss their problems as a gender, people coming in to point out the other genders issues is in bad taste.

I’m not sure if I would be banned for bringing up examples of abusive men here or not.

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