I keep hearing people say that men are generally only allowed to express anger, but in my life I’ve never even seen that allowed.

SpicyMarshmellow · 2024-05-29T04:58:29+00:00

Honestly, I think this whole narrative is hardcore gaslighting. I think it's a strategy for cutting men off from having an understandable emotional response to the way society treats them. It's emotional abuse tactics 101.

OddSeraph · 2024-05-29T02:21:14+00:00

"angry Black man," is seen as an instant threat so a lot of us can't even show anger.

Local-Willingness784 · 2024-05-29T03:40:51+00:00

what are you talking about? We as men are allowed to express any emotions... as long as they serve someone (women and children) or something (a cause or a country) else:

anger: in itself? dangerous and unstable, for others? a great way to get men to attack or defend

fear: in itself? untrustworthy and icky, for others? the fear of not being a "good man" or being a criminal, a rapist, a murderer etc, makes it so that a lot of men are more than willing to go out of their way to "prove" that they are different.

sadness: in itself? an ick for others? plenty of women love to almost brag about how "emotionally intelligent" and "sensitive" their men are, granted that the sadness is expressed in the way they want, in the occasions they want.

insecurity: in itself? a sin for almost any man for others? the single biggest way to manipulate a man in the modern age.

Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n · 2024-05-29T04:58:45+00:00

Anger is absolutely NOT an emotion men are allowed to express. Men are seen as dangerous regardless of actually behaving aggressively.

Men can show many emotions, but in my experience, grief and and anger are the two which are socially policed.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-05-29T12:39:13+00:00

I once met a woman that said that boys are taught that violence is a viable option.

Some people are just so blind to the lives of people who aren't them it's ridiculous

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2024-05-29T02:37:55+00:00

I think we're "allowed" to express anger in the sense that doing so won't necessarily put our masculinity in doubt the way that expressing other emotions will, but our intact masculinity comes at the price of potentially being seen as scary and dangerous.

Maffioze · 2024-05-29T08:44:50+00:00

I'd say even being happy is scrutinized. Apathetic and focused are maybe the only two that are not judged as much.

AskingToFeminists · 2024-05-29T09:25:35+00:00

Allowed might be a bit overexagerated.

It is one of the only emotion that, when men express it, their man card is not put into question.

You can be angry and still be considered a man. A dangerous one that needs to be contained or stopped, but a man still.

That is what is being expressed when people say "men are only allowed to express anger"

RepressingFire · 2024-05-29T07:23:31+00:00

People who say that have never been a man with a pathetic voice. My voice sounds like a castrated 12 year-old putting on a facetious conceited affectation. If I get visibly or vocally angry, people aren't scared, most either laugh or treat me like a child.

FightHateWithLove · 2024-05-29T13:27:22+00:00

I think the sentiment is that anger is the only emotion "allowed" in that it doesn't diminish the perception of manhood. Men can still be punished for expressing anger but their identity as a "real man" won't be questioned for it.

Low_Rich_5436 · 2024-05-29T04:41:09+00:00

Generally, men aren't encouraged to express anger; you'd get immediately excommunicated from the mainstream crowd and labeled as childish (rightfully so to be honest; anger isn't a useful tool).

Granted, the unique instances of male anger being tolerated is when it's directed towards a common good: anger at your country being insulted if you live in a nationalistic culture, or anger at criticisms of feminism if you live in a gynocentric culture are forms of male-anger that are lauded. But anger for one's own ego-preservation isn't really something the masses encourage in men.

drhagbard_celine · 2024-05-29T19:04:53+00:00

It’s the only emotion that doesn’t immediately cast doubt on one’s sexuality.

7evenCircles · 2024-05-29T06:03:59+00:00

When I was a kid I felt like most emotional nudging from adults steered me towards manifesting anger as a way to tackle whatever the other emotion was: sadness, fear, shame, disappointment, get angry about it. Fear the most. I don't think I am allowed to express anger as an adult, though. Which is funny because I'm afraid a lot.

alppawack · 2024-05-30T14:40:21+00:00

I think anger is the only feeling that is makes you less vulnerable. It’s not that men are “allowed” to express anger but men are not allowed to be vulnerable.

rump_truck · 2024-05-29T13:53:53+00:00

I usually see women saying this, and I think they say it because male anger gets a different reaction than female anger. Angry women are frequently either dismissed as irrational or confronted head on, people aren't afraid to tell an angry woman that she's wrong. People are much more afraid of an angry man, and are much more likely to give him a wide berth instead. The perception of the woman watching this is that people are allowing him to be angry in a way that they don't allow her to be angry. That doesn't mean that they accept his anger as valid or reasonable though, just that they are too afraid of him to confront him the same way they will confront her.

Johntoreno · 2024-05-30T17:53:03+00:00

Feminists take half-truths and distort it into an esoteric theory, something that only makes sense if you wear their ideological blinders. To make sense of where they're coming from, you got to understand that Feminism gets its views on men from an exclusively Women's POV.

Feminists observe that Men find it more comfortable to express anger than any other emotion that isn't happiness, but since they never queried men on why they feel this way, they fill the gap of knowledge with their constructivist theory about how Society encourages men to show anger. u/FightHateWithLove put it succinctly, most emotions barring happiness&anger are a taboo for Men.

Individual-Car1161 · 2024-08-15T23:55:38+00:00

I second this. Anytime I was angry, ironically my family would BLOW UP at me. They absolutely shut that shit down. Then when I (obviously) had anger problems as a result, people flat out believed it was actively dangerous, even tho I NEVER did anything violent.

I’m pretty sure “men are only allowed to be angry” is, at best, not applicable to the west these days, at worst a straight up fabrication.

Digger_is_taken · 2024-05-30T02:49:33+00:00

Anger is the only emotion that society is capable of recognizing is men.

hottake_toothache · 2024-05-29T13:21:36+00:00

Agreed.

eli_ashe · 2024-05-29T21:31:59+00:00

understand that society hates men. any expression of emotion from a man is spat upon. doesn't actually matter what the emotion is. and primarily it is women that do the spitting, not men.

it is a gendered thing, in other words, to be allowed to show emotion, and not be allowed to show emotion.

i oft just refer to this as folks being emotional hogs, drama queens, and so forth.

Title	I keep hearing people say that men are generally only allowed to express anger, but in my life I’ve never even seen that allowed.
Author	StupidSexyQuestions
Upvotes	195
Comments	31
Date	May 28, 2024 8:06 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1d2t2c3/i_keep_hearing_people_say_that_men_are_generally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/i-keep-hearing-people-say-that-men-are-generally.1519875 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519875

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