Losing my cool

Commercial-Rub-3223 · 2024-06-24T01:31:29+00:00

Not your fault she wasn't specific. If she told exactly which popcorn it would've saved you so much headache

Particular_Mix_4160 · 2024-06-20T17:07:21+00:00

Forget all the bs that you’re putting up with. None of that matters. Focus on finalizing your divorce. You have to stop all attachments to your spouse before anything changes. I’ve been there, i know. Here’s what to expect: you’re going to have terms of agreement with your divorce. Live up to them and nothing more. She’ll still try and control you but don’t give an inch. She needs to learn self control and discipline.

mr21vp · 2024-06-20T14:11:40+00:00

It's not healthy or normal for a grown man to worry about trivial matters like this. You need to step away and focus on your mental and emotional health. Best of luck!

DesignerUpbeat5065 · 2024-06-20T12:55:29+00:00

Why are you taking the stbx out still? I mean, I did something similar a few times, but they were always for the kids birthday. And that has now ended, I don't really want to hang out with her in any context anymore. I strongly suggest you move that direction.

Acidhouse2137 · 2024-06-20T12:13:20+00:00

Yeas drama, they love drama... sometimes I consider to play stupid or trigger her to cause meltdown so everyone can see how crazy she is

mrcofffeeee · 2024-06-20T09:26:16+00:00

Take just your kid to the movie

Puzzleheaded_Monk_39 · 2024-06-20T04:46:41+00:00

Thanks for all the advice. Yea it’s strange that I’m high up the professional ladder at work with multiple degrees and dealing with everyone and I can’t handle a sahm. She’s my kryptonite

Intrepid_Might8498 · 2024-06-20T04:19:09+00:00

Are you Korean too or just her?

Isthisthereddits · 2024-06-20T03:37:42+00:00

I didn't have a kid in the mix, but it seems like how my ex was. She will either pick fights or give you random compliments to get your reaction. I don't know if its, because they are bored, if they are fishing for things to use against you later, or what. It is annoying though. My ex would come to the house I bought to get maybe a handful of stuff at a time. I believe she did this as an excuse to come into my space. She is the one who walked out. She went and got an apartment. I reminded her that I am still legally her husband and would have similar rights to come to that apartment, but I don't because I respect her space and privacy. She screwed herself over though by not reading the divorce papers. She had the 6 months before signing and 30 days as of signing to get her stuff out of the house in preparations for us to sell the house. If she didn't I had rights to dispose of, sell, donate, or keep said items. I waited an extra few days and she never came so I took multiple trips to Good Will. When she showed back up and asked I told her it was probably available on their shelves. I did make sure there was no personal or family related items before donating as much as I was mad I couldn't do that. Although they raised her to be a narcissistic abuser I have too much respect for her family to do that.

dirtbikemike3 · 2024-06-20T02:46:41+00:00

She wants your reaction. If you really want to win at these stupid games, don't give her the reaction. Suck it up and play it off as if it doesn't bother you and do what you have to do to make your daughter happy, even if it means you have to get another Popcorn. Then, learn how to prevent future events. Minimize her control over you. It's a game, and if you choose not to play it, you win.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-06-20T02:34:43+00:00

This is the shit that you need to learn to ignore. You need to start playing the long game. And that means not winning every battle in order to win the war.

Channel Ariel and say to yourself “let it go, let it go 🎶🎼”

You can only control 2 things in this world. Your thoughts and your actions.

In this scenario- they controlled you.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-06-20T02:29:21+00:00

You lost, she won (no pun intended). It’s these little bullshit annoying jabbing poking incidents that I’ve found Stoicism to be the most effective. In case you haven’t looked into it, it’ll drastically improve your quality of life if you’re forced to interact with her like this.

AirSailer · 2024-06-20T01:28:35+00:00

Some women either consciously or unconsciously create drama... The cynical side of me thinks she did this on purpose, the semi-cynical side thinks she didn't realize the problem it would cause you and once it came to her attention she didn't want to admit she was wrong. Either way, the less interaction you have with her the better. Don't treat your stbxw to anything. She can have her time with your daughter, you get your time.

I've been divorced for a few years now. During the divorce process I was stuck in the house with my ex for two years during COVID, I feel your pain. Grey Rock method is the way to go. Never let her know she gets to you, that is just fuel for her.

Title	Losing my cool
Author	Puzzleheaded_Monk_39
Upvotes	11
Comments	32
Date	June 20, 2024 1:05 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1djz9xm/losing_my_cool/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/losing-my-cool.1522091 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522091

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