What does a woman actually means when she says I want you to get vulnerable with me ?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-06-27T04:20:32+00:00

She thinks you're not opening up to her emotionally, that you're keeping your feelings, maybe towards her or things in general, to yourself. It's pretty normal for the person you're in a relationship with to want to know more about you and your inner world, nobody wants to be with someone who they only know on some surface level but is basically a stranger when it comes to the deeper, more important things.

CauliflowerElegant76 · 2024-06-26T23:56:08+00:00

It means she thinks you’re emotionally unavailable and she would like to see some emotions from you.

SaBahRub · 2024-06-27T00:22:00+00:00

You’re not showing enough affection and feelings. Maybe being too bro-y, jokey, braggy

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-06-27T00:34:43+00:00

it means tell me how much you love me

EulenWatcher · 2024-06-27T00:26:49+00:00

She wants to get reassurance that your intentions and plans on the future align. Also, that you feel comfortable enough to share your feelings and worries with her.

egalitarian-flan · 2024-06-27T00:43:38+00:00

If it was from me, it would mean I want my man to be comfortable letting me know his true emotions, knowing that I'll accept and support however he feels.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-06-27T00:19:35+00:00

It means you’re acting aloof or distant and she desires more emotional connection in a relationship.

2024-06-27T00:53:13+00:00

If someone is only showing you the best parts of their personality and self then it’s most likely a surface level view of who they are. Whether it’s romantic or otherwise, I get much more comfortable with someone if I can see what’s beneath the surface. However I would recommend not saying too much too soon as that could be seen as ‘trauma dumping’. If you’ve known/dated for a long time, it can help to slowly bring that stuff out and if she inquires for more you can tell her however much you’re comfortable with. Personally I aim for an LTR that’ll last for life, so trusting each other and being vulnerable with each other is key.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-06-27T05:50:39+00:00

She wants you to be vulnerable with her. She probably feels that you don't trust her or that it's just freaky you're not showing any emotion or talking about personal things. How about you just ask her if you need more clarity?

Mentathiel · 2024-07-01T14:07:29+00:00

She wants more personal information on your life. She doesn't feel like you trust her enough to tell her about the things you struggle with, that upset you, or that worry you.

Maybe you don't express the underlying emotions, i.e. you get angry that she's late, but the underlying emotion is actually that you feel like she doesn't respect your time and are afraid that that means she doesn't value you very much. But you only express the anger and you get into an argument about how bad the traffic jam was and whether it makes a difference that she had bad menstrual cramps that kept her in the toilet for longer and other dumb practical logical arguments, without ever addressing the fact that you don't feel valued and respected.

Or you complain all of the time about irresponsible pedestrians jaywalking in front of your car and how dumb their actions are, but fail to mention that you witnessed a really bad car crash with lots of blood where someone died and it often makes you think back to that and become a bit triggered/emotionally elevated, when you see a situation that could end like that.

Or maybe you talk about how your best friend is an asshole who gets lost from the face of the earth whenever he enters a new relationship, but don't mention how unimportant it makes you feel and how worried you are about his obsessive relationship behavior that might be a sign of mental illness and keeps causing his situations to crash and burn.

I'm just trying to give examples to illustrate the point. People often communicate on a surface level about things that cause them deep pain or fear, because they don't still trust you to reveal those vulnerable places, which could be used very cruelly against them by a toxic person.

Men tend to be prone to alexithymia, which is a lack of awareness of one's own emotions. It can cause you to mistake the surface level emotion (often anger) for the whole picture. So it might not even be a lack of trust in your girlfriend, it may be a lack of awareness for yourself too.

Women tend to value talking about feelings a lot more and to perceive it as more of a slight when you refuse to do so. They see it as a lack of trust & commitment. Men are much more practical and problem-solvey and unless they have specific advice to ask out of a woman, they may not feel an urge to share what's going on with them. But women feel that it's a bonding and intimate experience to share, even if there's no solution. And that it often partially alleviates the pain. But for men, they may not find it as helpful or alleviating at all. This creates confusion because both genders project their own way of thinking onto the other one and then don't understand what they want. While trust is valuable, maybe having a conversation about what each of you want out of the conversations about your private emotional troubles would be helpful.

Either way, tldr she wants mutual trust and intimacy.

half3mptyhalffull · 2024-06-27T02:36:16+00:00

for me it means be honest. "i need you to be willing to be vurnerable with me for a moment" = "i can tell that, either ive upset you, or youre already upset and taking it out on me, and that youre not being upfront about it- and i cant read your mind"

Barneysparky · 2024-06-26T23:57:40+00:00

It means like you are not yourself around her, and if you don't stop playing from the manosphere script she will dump you.

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Nyanpireeee · 2024-07-10T05:26:00+00:00

I want someone who trusts me enough to come to be for emotional support. But I personally wouldn’t pressure anyone to.

Large-Signal-157 · 2024-06-27T02:16:47+00:00

She wants you to stop the act and just be a normal person with feelings and insecurities. Don’t dump it all on her obvs but show some softness.

apresonly · 2024-06-28T18:07:58+00:00

Is this some type of trick for her to see how I actually feel about her

why would she have to trick you into seeing how you feel about her?

you should be transparent about this so she doesn't get too invested (men hate this) or think you are only in it for sex.

Title	What does a woman actually means when she says I want you to get vulnerable with me ?
Author	PartyPony4hunnid
Upvotes	4
Comments	68
Date	June 26, 2024 10:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dpc443/what_does_a_woman_actually_means_when_she_says_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-does-a-woman-actually-means-when-she-says-i.1522500 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522500

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