How to deal with upcoming Anniversary

crager34 · 2024-08-26T19:23:19+00:00

My 5 year came and went last week. My present to me was to delete the calendar information and not contact her. My present to her was, no contact. Sucks but it’s what’s best for me.

Do what’s best for you.

HighwayOk5917 · 2024-08-26T03:56:17+00:00

Under no circumstances should you reach out to her about it.

Also, You say in another comment here that "She has to figure out what she wants". She 100% knows what she wants. She's keeping you around as a back-up plan if "what she wants" doesn't pan out. How long you let her Is up to you.

She knew she was going to leave you..oof 4, 5 years ago. Maybe longer. Im sure she told her friends the plan years ago. But stayed with you until it became convenient to leave. This isn't to denigrate you. A lot of us here went through the same song and dance.

yum-yum-mom · 2024-08-26T01:01:05+00:00

If you know why she moved out, and you are at fault… and you have regrets… tell her.

What do you have to lose. Let her know you love her! Miss her, etc.

No_Animator_6015 · 2024-08-26T00:46:14+00:00

Nope, it doesn’t mean anything. My ex cheated on me on my 10 year. So for me, I’ll forget that day forever.

keencone · 2024-08-26T00:25:03+00:00

Definitely don’t acknowledge it to her. That said, do WHATEVER you personally need to on that day… Feel everything you need to feel and feel it fully, just do it privately and resist any temptation to reach out.

CrazySanta7 · 2024-08-26T00:23:10+00:00

No fn way. She's likely talking or with another dude....whether you believe it or not. Go out and do something for you, bro. You seek validation from her and are using this anniversary to do it. You think saying some sappy b.s. will all of a sudden make her 'wake up' and come crawling back. It won't. Look at her actions. If she wanted to be with you, she would. It sucks. Good luck man.

dannywizkid · 2024-08-25T23:01:54+00:00

The first one since separating was tough I was stressed about it for ages, I stupidly got married on my birthday but in 2023 I spent it’s with our son, and this year I spent it with our son again and my father and it didn’t even enter my mind really this year

MisterPhinster · 2024-08-25T22:34:25+00:00

Go do something by yourself.

binglybinglybeep99 · 2024-08-25T22:28:00+00:00

The anniversary, from what I can tell is only in your head - not hers.

It's painful, I get it - so do a lot of people in this sub.

Don't love her. She has made her choice

Betteroffalone1111 · 2024-08-25T22:15:31+00:00

Is she seeing someone? Chances are that I’m 90% right, just re read what u posted and see how foolish you sound, sorry to be harsh but it’s time to face reality.

HereinPA1 · 2024-08-25T21:45:45+00:00

Sorry man, but it’s a hard no. Do not reach out and acknowledge it. My ex dropped her bomb exactly 4 months before our 20th anniversary. I treated it as just another day and was actually sitting in a classroom as part of the safety course for my motorcycle license.

That day holds no significance to her anymore, and as hard as it seems, it should not hold any significance for you either.

Bernie51Williams · 2024-08-25T21:24:38+00:00

You dont love anyone and they didn't love you. Stop acting like a movie. You know damn well there is no such as love its called responsibility and she will never have responsibility but you do. Stop confusing things and making them more than they are.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-08-25T19:52:28+00:00

Nope. Such conduct is counterproductive. She will probably be annoyed by it and will make you look weaker in her eyes.

Least_Winter9632 · 2024-08-25T19:03:43+00:00

Hell no, zero contact. Fuck her. Sorry you’re going through this. Get yourself something nice, that you wouldn’t normally splurge on. Nice bottle of whiskey, leather jacket, golf club, whatever you’re into. Hang in there

Chris_Chilled · 2024-08-25T18:35:05+00:00

Go on a date with another woman and post pictures of the two of you on social media where she will see it and/or it will get back to her.

0neMinute · 2024-08-25T18:23:47+00:00

Nah dude i tried and got laughed at. Chances are she left and has a back up already. You need to focus on yourself and the upcoming divorce. Even if you love her don’t show her.

ThanosStockingCap · 2024-08-25T17:54:47+00:00

Sorry to hear. She definitely knows about the anniversary and it sounds like she made a pretty blatant disconnect. Not sure the backstory or reasons she may have left, etc but I would do something with friends or for yourself to keep your mind occupied so you don’t have that idle in your head when the anniversary comes up.

Title	How to deal with upcoming Anniversary
Author	Ok_Thing7777
Upvotes	12
Comments	26
Date	August 25, 2024 5:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f122mn/how_to_deal_with_upcoming_anniversary/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-deal-with-upcoming-anniversary.1528337 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528337

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