Is it worth fighting over $100-300k in house and business valuation? (30M)

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-08-29T15:16:16+00:00

how I’d approach it:

1. Financial :

Potential Gain: If you’re looking at an additional $100-300k from a contested split, it’s significant money, but it's a smaller percentage (2-6%) of a $5M .
Legal Fees: might eat into a substantial portion of that potential gain. Make sure to get a clear estimate from your lawyer on what the expected costs might be.

2. Psycho Costs:

Stress and Well-Being: Contested divorces are stressful, often more so than amicable ones. If you have children, the stress and conflict could also affect them
Time and Energy: The process could drag out for months or even years, taking time and energy away from your career, personal life, and future goals including financial ones.

3. Long-Term:

Earning Potential: At $200k a year, you’re in a strong position to rebuild and grow your wealth over time. The potential loss of $100-300k might be less impactful if you focus on your career and future investments.
Peace of Mind: Sometimes, walking away with a little less can provide you with greater peace of mind and the ability to move on quicker and more effectively.

5. Advice to Younger Self:

If the fight for a larger share could compromise your future happiness and stability, it may not be worth it.Investing in your well-being and future opportunities might be more valuable in the long run.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2024-08-29T01:45:34+00:00

No kids and only in your 30s pay her off and move it along you never gotta see this succubus again

Ssla1 · 2024-08-28T03:18:47+00:00

If you didn’t get an appraisal initially how did you determine your initial calculations?

SuperConfused40 · 2024-08-28T02:29:00+00:00

I gave my ex 60% so she would go away and make the process quick. It was worth the investment to me.

It also calmed her down significantly and made parenting our kids easier.

techrmd3 · 2024-08-28T01:15:03+00:00

I would say that you may a VERY GENEROUS offer say 55-60% in asset split so you give the soon to be ex the better deal. Then go silent. (mostly a deal so good they should take it offer) (including a nice appraisal of business I guess)

make the offer and prepare for Arbitration, final court hearing etc etc... that will likely yield 50/50 to the soon to be ex with the 5-10% she would have gotten for settling goes to lawyers.

For someone with assets, there is a time value of money and an incentive to come to terms. But some people will NEVER agree. Because they see any offer as still "holding something back". or whatever

You offer a sweet deal. If deal is not taken you get pretty much what you were going to get anyway... just take more time.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-08-27T20:28:16+00:00

but I'm unsure if it's worth the hassle, legal fees, and stress.

An appraisal can be done by someone you hire now and costs all of 400-500$. Your ex can get their own as well (your guy will go high, hers low) and then meet in the middle. The stress? "Hey my lawyer advised me we have the home appraised so im hiring someone. We can use them or you can get your own. This is just to make sure things are correct, im sure you understand" and thats all that need be said.

that's what my lawyer says, and the other side doesn't think and they have their own reasons).

Their own reasons = they know you're probably due the 100-300k and dont want to pay it lol

If you were in your 30s, what advice would you give yourself in this situation

I'm in my 40s, make not even half of what you make and have next to nothing in investments outside of a 401k im about to blow up to save my house - 300K would be a godsend. Dont assume youll have that 200k a year job. Get whatever you can now, not for current you but for future you and your kids if you have them,

KookyBed56 · 2024-08-27T19:57:42+00:00

Bro, you're well set! 100-300 doesn't seem to be a huge impact, In my case my house was valued at 700k instead of 900k which I knew it wasn't correct, I walked out from a 100k just for my peace of min. I only got 150k because the bank owed us 400K. but if I go back I think I would fight for it because fucker her.

itsallright_now · 2024-08-27T18:45:40+00:00

In my view, let it go. I’ll start by saying I don’t have as much as you (about $600K total in my divorce), but my view has always been that I can make more money. I’m 37, just got divorced a few months ago and came behind on the asset split at 65%-35%. And that was after fighting for everything to be “fair,” so additional time and money wasted. That was deemed fair by our judge.

I’m not happy about it, of course. But the peace of mind knowing it’s done is valuable by itself.

You’re going to spend time, money, and heartache fighting for this. You can easily spend thousands just getting drafts of the asset split, additional in mediation, and then more on top if this is what causes it to go past mediation into a trial fight.

“Fair” is always relative. I think you know the right answer for you before you even asked the question. Trust your gut on it, but don’t lose the forest for the trees. Keep focused on the real issue—getting your divorce finalized.

Good luck. I feel for you.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-08-27T17:51:44+00:00

If you have kids how about both of you put $100k each in a 529 for your kids, split everything else 50/50 and call it a day.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-08-27T15:42:23+00:00

Can you give up on that money but get something else instead? Do you have kids and if yes - what is custody situation?

someatxdude · 2024-08-27T15:21:41+00:00

In my market there are [very few] appraisers who specialize in "forensic appraisals" -- those for situations like this where there isn't an imminent mortgage financing, but determining a value for fair asset splits.

Getting one of these appraisals is VERY straightforward and simple.

In my case, we got that appraisal, and I unsurprisingly found it to be low, brought some data and analysis of my own the the appraiser (as did my ex), and he revised his opinion and that was that.

A mediator or judge is likely to find that a compelling determination of value, and it's worth nailing down given how relatively cheap and fast it is ($1000? a week or two?) given the dollars at stake.

It's wise to nail that down as one less moving piece in the negotiation, unless you want to trade your "this value is low so I want..." as another poster mentioned.

But in my case I wanted fewer moving pieces, not more.

Jigglytep · 2024-08-27T14:36:06+00:00

You are talking about a 6% difference. I don’t know your situation or goals I don’t know what 300k means to you.

It’s plausible what you would win in court would be a wash in legal fees.

Is 2-6% worth the hassle? Are you being penny wise pound foolish?

Only you have these answers.

Perhaps use this as a negotiating tactic. “Hey I think this valuation is askew 6% in your favor; I can accept it if I can have the …”

Good luck

pk2at · 2024-08-27T14:11:08+00:00

Yes, its worth the fight. The way I see it, its a whole year's paycheck

TreyGarcia · 2024-08-27T13:39:59+00:00

You’ll regret it in the future if you don’t do it. This is strictly business, treat it as such.

Slowloris81 · 2024-08-27T13:31:04+00:00

I’d do the appraisal assuming the appraisal process itself is not prohibited expensive. Then you have the appraisal as a data point for negotiations. It doesn’t necessarily need to be contested in court if you can settle with the appraisal in hand. The appraisal might help reach that settlement.

Late_Finding_627 · 2024-08-27T13:08:38+00:00

$100K+ in your favor??? 100% worth it. At a minimum, you can use as a massive bargaining chip to get something else you covet. Your current income isn’t enough to warrant not fighting for it. I do residential mortgages for Wells Fargo so if you need any help or resources, HMU. Good luck.

Boomhower113 · 2024-08-27T12:54:29+00:00

At $100k, I’m not so sure with your net worth. But, $300k? Probably so. If you have truly put a good faith value on both of them, and you know she is undervaluing them, there won’t be any surprises for you in court.

My wife tried to pull this shit with the value of our house. Her number was $20k under the tax rolls number, which is ridiculously low. I had a realtor do a comp report to get to my number. Even when I brought receipts, she said, “Your number is high,” with nothing to back it up.

We managed to find other ways to even it out more, but mine wasn’t as big of a gap as yours. I’d probably take this further.

Just the threat of taking it to a judge might make her reevaluate her numbers enough for you to take the deal.

Left-Signature-5250 · 2024-08-27T12:37:45+00:00

Totally worth fighting for. Because in a few months to years you will just feel bad about all the money the c*nt got "for free" off you back. It is your money, that YOU worked for, I would assume.

I was "nice" enough to not fight - gave her a lot more than I would have had to. Was rewarded with the info that she would move (with our kids) to her "new boyfriend". That was three months after finalizing. Of course during divorce it was agreed that she would stick around with the kids so we both could be part of their lives and they could see me regularly.

I am pretty sure she did not find the new guy within three months of divorce and then built enough trust to move our two kids in with him (they were 5 and 7 ffs). Oh and they live 2 hours away. I see them every other weekend and since she got major custody, there was nothing I could do about that (Europe).

That is how I was rewarded for being forthcoming with the money. I deeply regret a few things that I agreed to during the divorce.

FUMoney · 2024-08-27T12:34:55+00:00

Time value of money. 300k now, invested wisely, will be worth a lot more in the future. Yes, worth fighting over. No question.

tragicaddiction · 2024-08-27T11:55:18+00:00

Ask go split it down the middle before taking it further but yeah it’s worth fighting for

Exactly65536 · 2024-08-27T10:39:37+00:00

I'd say yes, a year's worth of income is worth fighting for.

Even if you are relatively young and have time to rebuild your wealth.

Consider this: it takes you 1 full year of working on your job, with all the strain that comes from it, to earn that much.

Assuming 40 hours work week with 4 weeks vacation, you spend 2000 hours to earn 200k. Do you expect to spend 2000 hours on this particular fight? If not, then fighting your ex is a better paying job than your actual job. If it's only half the effort, it pays twice as much.

Based on what you describe, I think you are looking at 100-200 hours tops. Which means it's a vastly superior investment of your time than your job.

familymanlikesfamily · 2024-08-27T10:38:31+00:00

Not fully versed on family laws, but I was told that if she cannot afford the resources but contests something is there, she could hire using your money.

In your scenario, I think it comes down to how much are you willing to give up from full financial disclosure. Seems to me she still has entitlement to more - and why I personally would give more.

I would still get the business valuated to cover yourself in the event she comes back and says you misled here. I'm sure when you hire these BVAs, you may have some influence on the amount. Don't think you should share the reports unless no choice.

Just my opinion. I wish you could keep it all.

Title	Is it worth fighting over $100-300k in house and business valuation? (30M)
Author	SavingDivorcedMan
Upvotes	5
Comments	23
Date	August 27, 2024 9:15 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f2clpi/is_it_worth_fighting_over_100300k_in_house_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-it-worth-fighting-over-100-300k-in-house-and.1528540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528540

Comments

1. Financial :

2. Psycho Costs:

3. Long-Term:

5. Advice to Younger Self: