Sad

darkerwithin · 2024-12-01T23:42:34+00:00

"Why the fuck even marry me if it’s this goddamn easy for her." One man to pay the bills and maintain the home (you), the other man to lay the pipe. She expects she can have it both ways in her delusional world.

Go not contact. Research narcissistic behavior, covert narcissist. Start the process for divorce.

Reflog1791 · 2024-12-01T21:56:31+00:00

If you get buff women will want to jump your bones. It will be way better than your ex. Look at the bright side. Move on and let her go. She’s for the streets now. It has happened to better men than you or me. Turn this setback into a springboard to improve everything in your life. Then you will look back and be happy this happened.

ADHD_247 · 2024-12-01T02:45:10+00:00

Going through a seperation and divorce as well and it's been aweful but also an incredible journey of s lf reflection and growth.

Two thing I have come to realise.

1) Who you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore, they've changed. You loved her when she was ver. 1.0 but the 3.0 she has become, well... there quite a lot of bugs in that latest update so...

2) If there is any reason to morn ongoing, its for your kids and to that end all you can do is try to re-direct that pain positively into trying your best to make co-parenting as effective as possible for the kids sake.

On the plus side of things, the advice is to try to live in theoment but whats helped me is try to keep your mind on your personal growth in the fullness of your life and how extrandinary of a tale it will be one day!

djquikstop · 2024-11-30T15:58:35+00:00

Bro, you have to distance yourself from her. Don't allow her to use you as an emotional crutch.

Particular-Skill4372 · 2024-11-30T13:46:39+00:00

Literally going through the same thing right now, the thought of her with him has crushed me and my libido, ive always been a horny guy. I cant even watch porn because I immediately put them in that situation. She says shes not dating but seems to have a lot more connection to this guy than she lets on. Our divorce was finalized on October 31st and she already has this dude. Im sick to my stomach and have been crying constantly, im not normally an emotional person. We still live together and thats the worst part, Im at home with the kids and she leaves the house with her clothes and comes back days later. Im broken and she doesn't care, I wish she would just disappear so I don't have to look at her. I want him to break her heart so she can feel like I do.

thelostfather_922 · 2024-11-30T06:14:31+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation but we have kids so I can’t just no contact and ghost her. I can’t stop caring and loving her but the pain she causes me sucks and I just want her back but I know I shouldn’t

youknowthevibbees · 2024-11-30T05:46:53+00:00

Have you maybe asked her to stop or that you can’t handle being friends with her anymore if all she does is talking about him? She doesn’t she this the way you do. In her mind you two will always be best friends, even what she do. Tell her that enough is enough, if she has no plan on coming back then she can just leave you alone and not come to you and just talk about him… tell her that the only talks between you know has to be about the divorce.

Updateme!

dpatron · 2024-11-30T04:02:25+00:00

My ex started fucking a cop and I had an entire department(blue line buddies) looking to fuck me up. Thank God he was married and his ex attacked her.
You don't love her, she's not a wife, you are feeling what it's like to be gutted. Hang in there man. Re build and enjoy your next chapter. It gets better. My new one is 15 years younger with double ds.

pieperson5571 · 2024-11-29T22:38:43+00:00

The reason you're hurting is you're still into her. Teach yourself indifference. Distance and silence. No contact or exchange of personal information until then.

Updateme.

Gunners_05 · 2024-11-29T20:04:01+00:00

Brother! I’m in a somewhat similar situation. You are not alone. Gray rock method works! They’ll probably get upset and that’s ok. You stay strong. Go out and do your thing. Don’t fall back because it’s easy but it’ll never be the same!

bind91324 · 2024-11-29T18:42:27+00:00

Maybe she gets off talking about him as you squirm. When she brings him up during a conversation just get up and leave. Why are you talking to her at all, go no to get over the past and move on.

Sure-Crew-2418 · 2024-11-29T18:11:53+00:00

Why the fuck are still talking to that bitch, she's stringing you along in case it doesn't work out with the new guy Go no contact, focus on getting your new life in order. She probably gets some kind of sadistic pleasure out of telling you about this guy, she would have to be a complete moron to think that it's not hurting you

bkdad75 · 2024-11-29T17:14:46+00:00

You're hugging a cactus.

She's using you for safety and protection, as she secretly delights in the power she still has over you. She tests this power by baiting you with talk designed to provoke jealousy and pain. This "show of support as she eases you through separation" is a lie. Cut her the hell loose. No more "best friend".

Don't promise yourself she'll crash when this happens. It's unlikely. Just because she finds you useful doesn't mean she needs you.

Sleeveless_N_Seattle · 2024-11-29T16:19:59+00:00

Implement Grey Rock and 180 method to maintain your your sanity. Look both of those up and start ASAP.

Do that for yourself, not for your ex. She has proven that she’s not wife material, and you shouldn’t even consider her friend material.

She is someone you used to know. You have some business transactions to finish, like separating assets, paperwork, etc. Be brief, keep conversation limited, and be mildly polite or disinterested.

Once you have no ties, cut contact completely. She no longer exists in your world after that.

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2024-11-29T15:23:41+00:00

Why are you an emotional Tampon ?

Just cut her off and learn to move on. You do know she actually enjoys causing you pain.

Bluetoes1 · 2024-11-29T15:20:43+00:00

Dude, stop talking to her. That she talks to you about some other guy is vile. It shows she has no compassion for you. Time to become a dick. You will thank yourself for it.

Yes, you were betrayed and lied to. And sadly, she was probably fucking this guy well before what you think. She just decided ton start telling you about it.

Get out if this marriage. There are a lot of great women out there who want to be loved by a guy who really cares about them.

Find yourself a therapist to work through this, and join a gym. You will thank yourself again.

And just to close this up, stay chaste during the divorce, your attorney will tell you to. But then, when the divorce is done, get out there and meet someone. I guarantee you, your ex will come crying to you that she doesn’t understand how you moved on and blah blah blah.

Stay strong brother, you are not the first to walk this path, you don’t need to do it alone.

koboboba · 2024-11-29T15:01:50+00:00

Stop the pity party. Words mean nothing, only actions matter, don't let yourself be manipulated by words. Block and ignore her. Focus on yourself. Problems solved.

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-11-29T14:48:27+00:00

WTF ARE YOU DOING STILL TALKING TO HER???

WHAT ARE YOU? GIRLFRIENDS??

You need to go no contact with her or at least gray rock her.

It sounds like she gets off on humiliating you or something.

Why are you subjecting yourself to this?

She's got it great, doesn't she? She's got Johnny Thunderbang for getting her back blown out and you for expressing her fee-fees.

regertsrus · 2024-11-29T14:46:08+00:00

Your X is sick in the head. She enjoys toying with you. She enjoys your reactions or lack there of. One day she may return. You will forget the past and accept her with open arms. Many years will pass. You will even have kids. Eventually that pathological nature of hers will return and she will abuse you again. This time more sinister. This time with constant lies and manipulations. This time you won't climb out of the hole you dug for yourself. Next time it will take years not weeks/months and the stakes will be much greater. You know how I know this? Because what you described happen to me in my early 20s. No in my 40s I wish I had deleted her the first time. I wish I had cut her off and out forever 20+ years ago.

Beamformer · 2024-11-29T12:07:07+00:00

Dont talk to her, you are right it is nothing but pain to do so. She isn't who she was, she is focused on herself now and you should probably do the same. Cut her off, she can go find a gf to chat up. You should too, at the least give her some of her own medicine.

Title	Sad
Author	KPKHYBRT2212
Upvotes	15
Comments	28
Date	November 29, 2024 5:34 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h2eqik/sad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/sad.1537165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537165

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