How long until you started dating?

Fiberguy81 · 2025-07-20T13:32:08+00:00

My divorce was finalized in May and I went "APP" crazy as well. After about a month I realized it was a waste of time and money, deleted all of them and I am working on getting myself right. A bitch ain't gonna fix shit for you! You're just gonna end up back in a dark hole wondering what you did and blah blah blah. FUCK women at this point, get your shit straight first! Now if you happen to be out and find a girl just looking for the dick, then give it to her and never make contact again.

beverly-valley-90210 · 2025-07-19T12:25:57+00:00

I am converting to Islam days after my divorce so I won’t be allowed to date anyway - takes the pressure away somewhat!

Square-Choice-3672 · 2025-07-19T02:59:54+00:00

I went on a few dates 3 months later on the advice of friends. I didn’t really enjoy it but it got me out of the house etc. I took the next 6-8 months to chill and work on myself and fast forward 18 months I am actually happy being single.

No-Tomorrow8150 · 2025-07-18T19:25:47+00:00

The first six months my only interest was texting. Then would go on dates but always ended it after a date or two because I didn’t want a relationship. Now 3 years out still do not want anything too serious but a monogamous relationship without being attached at the hip is fine with me. No marriage for sure.

many-styles · 2025-07-18T18:35:24+00:00

Two months after my divorce was finalized, I got my first lay.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-07-18T16:08:34+00:00

Until I had some desire to date. Took me about 6 months.

-NukeX- · 2025-07-18T15:23:20+00:00

2 years. Worked on myself, therapy, gym, hiking, hobbies, and learning to love being by myself. I ended up finding someone who was into all the same hobbies I am. Now it's a bonus that we get to do all the things I love together. I still go for solo hikes and solo motorcycle rides, but it's nice having your best friend go with you.

Pro-IDGAF · 2025-07-18T12:44:37+00:00

i love a good women for what they bring to life.

i was married for 24 years. son was out of the house and hadn’t been in love with her for a long time.

dating, about 4 months after she moved out. it took me 2 months to get my head right. at that point i looked up a old girl friend from college that i missed.

we talked and hung out for 2 months to feel each out for compatibility then went for it. still together after 6 years and living together but not married but she calls me her husband and wears a simple band i gave her.

divorce took about 9 months. i wasn’t bitter though and happy to be free again. in that first 2 months my ex’s best friend told me in a cryptic way, “this is your free pass, do want you want”.

at that point i knew it was over and i found out about her new boy friend that she had been seeing for the past year.

no problems with women but i’m a lot more tuned into things now and wiser to shenanigans.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-07-18T09:56:02+00:00

About 6 months after my separation. I date casually only and tell each one I'm not looking to get married or move in. Just here to have fun.

muramx · 2025-07-18T06:42:15+00:00

It took me a couple of years to actually be serious about dating. I wasnt in the right mindset and tried to date because my ex cheated on me and ran off with some guy. But I ended up with a lot of women that were glaring red flags that I ignored because I wasnt were I needed to be emotionally and it really made things worse.

After taking a break from it all and getting myself together... it got vastly better and I am happily in a relationship for about 7 years now and neither one of us wants to get married but we basically are without the paperwork. And our relationship is really relaxing compared to when I was married.

Simple_Bed9312 · 2025-07-18T03:37:09+00:00

Dating is the LAST thing that's NOT gonna happen. Period. I have read on Reddit how us men can go back to normal. Enjoying our hobbies, not thinking what she will think about it or worse yet what she'll do about it. Spend more money? Find a hobby herself and make you feel poor for not jumping on board..( literally both ways). Yeah. NO THANKS. Just the little bit of enjoyment i found rarely doing my hobby she kept reminding me and others how bad in every way it was. So check this out.... 1. If your hobby/pastime is expensive she'll want you to spend it on her. 2. If your into books she'll want a focus on her including being near you (leads to you feeling guilty) 3. If your into a car (s) she'll break your freedom. 4. If its girly its because you want to be closer to other women or she will constantly give her opinions about it. 5. If it only involves what she wants to do then you begin to be unhappy.
I have/had a mom. Don't need to "check in" anymore. I can't stress this enough...lots of great man stories on here you can just find yourself in the same situation. Remember how good your independence and freedom is. You do not have to live unhealthy being single. I start everyday alone, make my bed...that's the first win..say hi to the main man down there during pee time then coffee...embrace your manly manhood. A friend once told me a man marries a woman hoping she won't change and a woman marries a man hoping he will change. Honestly, yes im touched deprived but fear a woman will sense my "at time weakness " as I'm still recovering now from having my heart ripped out and the pain she still causes me. Personally I would avoid it still all costs, all it takes is a look into my eyes and the world's last babies would be born in one year.

engineered-chemistry · 2025-07-18T02:50:58+00:00

Divorced a month, separated for 18. FWB with 3 women. It’s great. One is the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever dated. Colombian chick that’s the type IG reels are made of. Hang in there, apps were a ghost town for 6 months and then it just started raining women 🤷

fallingupdahill · 2025-07-18T01:50:44+00:00

The miniute I realized that it was over I wanted to date. I floundered for 6 months and then got a little traction. If you are happy alone then don't waste the time, money and stress. If you need a companion then start now and don't worry about the difficulties in the process.

FairCar7137 · 2025-07-18T01:22:16+00:00

I’ve been out for 2 years. Been on a hand full of dates. I find I’m really uninterested in the idea of a relationship. I’ve been doing some fucking for sure but other than that I’m good on my own. lol

Equal_Wall_5192 · 2025-07-18T00:58:32+00:00

Still in the process. Still living under the same roof. 13 yrs of marriage. Looking forward for my true love. Reading the post here. I realise that a mature man need to go through a devoted marriage and a tough divorce. Now my red alert is full on. I think I can serve without ask anything back. By doing so I know deserve the most beautiful and kind woman. I won't settle for anything less. I am a Chinese immigrant. 10 yrs in new Zealand. My second race anxiety finally gone. Because I endured the unjust law system. The gas lighting and the coldness of human heart here. I learnt how to serve with firm boundaries.

Maseworld · 2025-07-18T00:24:47+00:00

I instantly found out dating is expensive. 17yrs on the sideline and things have gotten out of hand. Lol

modernmanagement · 2025-07-18T00:20:38+00:00

Immediately. A friend and I rebounded into a situationship not long after I separated. Didn't last long. I tried again, online dating, and had a girlfriend for a few months. Had many dates in and around all that. Some casual encounters too. But now. A year out from separating and soon to be divorced. I'm glad for the experiences. I have no regrets. But I realise it is best I stop dating and focus on myself and my kids. My goal now is to fill my world with things I love. Things I'm passionate about. And divorced mums and their kids and ex partners ... I don't need that in my life right now. And neither do my kids.

fixingmedaybyday · 2025-07-18T00:14:13+00:00

I’m 4 years out almost and have to force myself to date. Most of the time it ends at date 1 because I’ll see a red flag or 2 and just lose all interest. I need a real connection for attraction or vice versa and I’m still scared that when I do find someone, they’ll wind up hurting just like my ex did. I went through a short phase wishing to get my player on, but it just feels so fake, manipulative and inauthentic. FYI, pick up artistry works, but it’s just a game. If you like that sort of thing, check out The Game. Otherwise, I’m at the point where I’m just gonna do me stuff and if someone shows interest in me while I’m doing it, maybe I’ll invite her in the next trip. Otherwise, I’m not chasing just because I’m lonely or horny. This journey has been too eye-opening to ever tie my self worth again on whether I’m getting affection, companionship or getting laid or not.

Edit. I still miss the good years with my ex. Everything seemed so vibrant and hopeful. But I so don’t want to experience the end years again.

aquatone61 · 2025-07-18T00:12:35+00:00

Dating? LOL. Literally don’t have time for that.

ABBucsfan · 2025-07-18T00:02:10+00:00

Don't plan to. I'm good and need to focus on raising my kids. Been out of the house 4 years+ and started divorce process start of covid (which was already basically a year after we decided to divorce)

Edit:As someone else said no time anyways. Barely have time to do some of my hobbies as is. Days I don't have kids it's making up hours I was short at work or finally getting groceries, laundry, cleaning house done

Title	How long until you started dating?
Author	tribal-chief556
Upvotes	15
Comments	26
Date	July 17, 2025 11:56 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1m2ndla/how_long_until_you_started_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-long-until-you-started-dating.1557434 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557434

Comments