The way women and BluePillers on here talk about "men" and what they have to offer women in relationships doesn’t make sense according to how women themselves idealize, seek, & rationalize romantic relationships.

I mean it should seem obvious but women don't have relationships with "men", they have a relationship with a man. Her man. Who is distinct, better, and so unlike "those other men".

They just seem to me to occupy two very different spaces in a woman's head. Which, I know, seems obvious, but then I see questions talking about what "men" bring to the table? "Men" are competing with a woman's peace. "Men" need to offer more than just a paycheck to women, now that they can make their own money.

"Men," as a category and concept, is at best a neutral, faceless, and potentially dangerous thing to a woman. At worst, a violent, mean, raping, animalistic, dirty, and savage group of parasites. It's always a losing battle to try to defend "men" because women can always just throw a crime statistic at your face and claim checkmate.

There's nothing you can really do except shrug your shoulders and say, "welp, maybe you'll find a man who isn’t any of those things you think 'men' are 🤷‍♂️". Which is already the case for many of the women on here. That's why even women like Drew "Men Are Inherently Evil" Afualo still has a husband. Or why seemingly every partnered woman here claims they would live as a single cat lady if their husbands were to die before them. And I'll freely admit, men greatly enable this type of framing because we view dating and courtship as more of a competition.

You could argue the same is true in the reverse, but its not really the same, is it? There isn't really a "women are wonderful" effect for men like there is for women (quite the opposite in fact). Men are considered privileged or lucky to be "chosen by a woman". The phrase "you aren't like other women" is likely to get you an eyeroll and rejection from women; whereas being told "you aren’t like other men" is seen as more validating and ego-boosting for men.

Women's collective value in relationships is just self-evident in a way that men's collective value is not. (for reasons that are discussed often enough on here: sex, beauty, pregnancy, nurturing ability, pro-sociality, status boost, etc.).

Tl;dr Women choose a man far more individualistically than men choose women. They rationalize their choice according to how unlike "other men" he is. So it doesn't make sense to expect men on here or anywhere to defend the value proposition "collective men" have to women.