Hello,
this community helped me a lot, so I want to give back and share how I went from one toxic girlfriend to having five side chicks.
Just a small note: all of them know we’re not exclusive, and I directly told them I want an open relationship.
How I met them:
- One at a friend’s birthday party. She introduced me as “the best guy ever” to every girl there. I wanted that friend before, but even after she declined me i kept being very nice friend to her.
- Another at a grocery store. I simply chatted with her because she’s a foreigner and I wanted to get to know her.
- One through charity work, we met at gala dinner where charity was presenting their results. She was gorgeous in dress so i had to talk to her. I just invited her to dinner and that was it.
- I met one on a train while talking to another girl. She joined the conversation and asked for my number.
- The last one at a bus stop. I asked when the bus was arriving, she didn’t understand (she’s Russian), we kept talking, and I got her number.
Currently I am:
- 174 cm tall
- Not super fit, but I still go to the gym 1–2 times per week (used to go for years)
- I have a great job that lets me speak at conferences and work remotely
- I mostly wear classy clothes and avoid “rapper style” outfits. I love shopping at Massimo Dutti.
What helped me most:
- Confidence. It's always biggest lever. I already had the skills, what I lacked was confidence. CBT therapy, Vipassana, martial arts, and presenting in front of crowds helped a lot.
- Presentation class. Best €700 spent. I went to 3 day workshop where we practiced hooks, intros, tonality, and presenting in front of people. After that, girls suddenly paid attention to me instead of other guys. But you must keep practicing.
- Lots of social activity. I go weekly to yoga, conferences, meetups, and spend time with friends, organizing parties or group outings. This is important because:
- It positions you as a social leader, increasing your value
- It creates many opportunities to meet girls
Many times I met a girl I thought was “out of my league,” then invited her to events. She saw me around other beautiful women, and suddenly she was texting me.
One important thing: never allow disrespect from other guys at your events. I’m even too harsh sometimes if they disrespect me. And if they don't understand i never invite them again.
My biggest differentiator is my energy. I focus on being confident, warm, welcoming, and positive. It takes effort, limiting social media and avoiding news helps. I often hear from girls that my energy makes them feel safe.
And my contrarian take is that I don’t use social media at all because it worsens my mood. I use my phone only for SMS and logistics. I don’t text girls at all. They always complain that they wan't to text from me, but i just tell them that i want to be present and not online.
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