My wife

Same_Common4485 · 2026-03-13T08:52:59+00:00

meaningless sex is her way of coping, and it isnt really cheating

really? you do know there is a name for men like this

retired337 · 2026-03-12T02:26:04+00:00

Not much hurts like finding out your wife is screwing someone else. Anxiety, not sleeping, not eating. It takes a while but it does get better

mikemitch0785 · 2026-03-11T01:03:27+00:00

Man that sucks and worse she's type who is gonna not let you go as long as you let her have enough free reign to full around. And you could almost say well as long as she's coming home to me and the family you know who cares if she has a little bit of outside fun she'll get tired of it and come back to us and maybe but more likely thing to happen is one of these one night stands will actually develop feeling for and and then I'll become a two night stand to a five night stand to a boyfriend. I'm not a psychic I already done my wife and I could just be projecting but i worry man. My wife atleast only seeing one guy and because she wants the guy she's not leading me on which makes the divorce crystal clear. But for a while she lied and hid things and gaslighted the hell out me while I watched are kid time and again so she could "go out with friends" . One thing my mom told me is when a women checks out they check out for good, now they can play along and be nice and even give you some affection but inside they are checked out. My wife pet my hair a so laid in her lap and cried about the vday card i gave her and then 36hrs later was in a hotel with bar back. It's called compartmentalization and women are masters of it.

notLaDolce · 2026-03-10T23:39:42+00:00

Take care of your needs. Find yourself and enjoy this new wiser version of you… you can’t change people but you can always work on yourself and that my new hobby .::

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-03-10T23:34:03+00:00

They always need to get railed on the apps asap. Have a female friend like this who initiated her divorce, broke her man and had to be ran through while her husband was battling depression.

Lost all respect about the sex that can't sit at home and read a fucking book or watch tv for a week after the divorce with multiple small children involved.

Hello kids, your mom is for the streets.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-03-10T21:56:07+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you. But you don’t miss your wife, your marriage or your family.

You miss the ideal version of your family. Not the actual one where she is cheating on you. You miss the ideal version of your wife. Not the actual person who is actually cheating on you. You miss the ideal version of marriage. Not the actual one where she is cheating on you.

Google sunk cost fallacy.

probebeta · 2026-03-10T20:41:55+00:00

Hang in there. Get her out of your head. She belongs on the streets. Go to gym whenever you feel angry. Get a lawyer.You'll be much better off once this is over.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-03-10T17:32:41+00:00

For future reference when a woman mentions the D word the romantic relationship has been over for close to two years. There is no saving it at that point, she is fully checked out and detached from you. There is nothing to discuss or negotiate at this point. The only move is to file for divorce and begin to let go of her.

A one night stand is very much cheating. Sounds like you have fully abandoned yourself to go all in on this woman. Been there mate, it is hell on earth. Once you heal and learn how to value yourself again you'll look back and think why the fuck did I put up with any of that.

What you can do today is go join your local gym and get yourself a personal trainer if you have no clue what you are doing. Also go find a counselor you connect with to guide you through this transition.

csmedo1994 · 2026-03-10T16:16:16+00:00

Brother, meaningless sex isn’t cheating? It’s literally the definition of cheating. Do you hear yourself? You have allowed your wife to rob you of your own basic human dignity and pride. You can and will continue life without her, but you must recover your own identity and dignity.

Eric_C_Productions · 2026-03-10T14:33:39+00:00

Hate to break it to you, she is gone. Checked out. She is not coming back and if she does, don't take her back. She chose to blow up your family. She is only thinking of herself and her needs. Not yours or the family. What does that tell you about her? Heartbroken!? I think her actions should give you enough reason to move on and better yourself and your family...your son. Meaningless sex is still cheating. Stop putting blinders on and ignoring what is right in front of you. Your wife is no good. She is doing you a favor. Time to be happy. Time to start your new life without the drama or the crap that you are taking at the hands of this cheating wife. I know you are thinking in the moment, but in the long run you will see that if you cut it off now, you will appreciate your decision. It sucks but you need to take a look in the mirror and see that she is playing you and really has no respect for you or your family. Time to move on and get a divorce. Find a woman who will treat you and your family with respect. Good luck to you

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-03-10T14:13:25+00:00

Up until today I was having like 4 or 5 panic attacks per day.

Your brain is literally trying to rewire itself. Do you have a therapist and a lawyer? You NEED both.

Has anyone filed? If not this is just a fight.

It will be hard but you need to accept its over. But know this: no one is going to come and save you. You can either start the process now, or wait months while you're being walked all over and bled dry and then start.

Also, do not drink!

gabbygourmet · 2026-03-10T14:09:21+00:00

This sucks. Been there. Be better to yourself and focus on your son. It will get better!! Get that bitch out yo brainstem

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-03-10T13:34:03+00:00

She’s cheating dude, it’s over, I’m sorry. You have to move on. I’m here to chat if you want

gaelorian · 2026-03-10T13:27:14+00:00

She’s cheating. Don’t rationalize it. Unless you explicitly told her to go bang other dudes then she’s cheating. It’s over. Hit the gym. Find a lawyer and a therapist. It’ll be ok.

M_kaz91 · 2026-03-10T13:26:45+00:00

Stay strong bro! Happened to me also, mine left to have a multi month party stage and then for a coworker 20 years older (same age as her dad) their now not together she said he’s crazy 🤣 think they both kinda were tbh she’s now onto another 🤷‍♂️She was gone all the time, hardest was the kids always asking where’s mom going( we have 3 together) when she would come back from hotel stays she would have lingerie sitting on top of her suitcase so that I would see along with hundreds of other ways she would disrespect what was once her family she “loved”. Like others have said please don’t lose your self respect like I did. I stayed in our family home another year and half only to try to keep it as normal as possible for our kids. Toughest time of my life. Right now you need to focus on you and your son. She’s out of the picture, the sooner you do that the quicker you will be able to somewhat “move on” there are going to be a lot of crappy days but keep pushing forward, on those somewhat good days enjoy them. I’m coming up on almost a year to the divorce date and life is so much better being away from her(besides when I have to see her for coparenting things) sending 🙏your way brother it’s not easy at all but there’s light at the end of the dark tunnel I promise!

WhydIJoinRedditAgain · 2026-03-10T13:14:45+00:00

How is her having one night stands not cheating? I know that the laws are different in different places, but if you are still legally married, there isn’t an agreement in place that says you can see other people, or you state law allows for people to have sex with others before the divorce is final, it’s still adultery.

You need to grasp that her best interests are no longer your best interests. You need to stop think of you and your wife as “us.” There is no more “we” or “us” in this marriage.

And use it. If she’s sleeping around, use that in any way you can to take her to the fucking cleaners.

SonOfTheAfternoon · 2026-03-10T09:59:41+00:00

You lost your wife, but don’t lose your self respect by waiting untill she is done sleeping around. The sooner you start grieving and healing the better

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-03-10T09:25:48+00:00

Best you can do is show her the door if she wants to go.
Don't keep choosing someone that does not choose you.

mhbb30 · 2026-03-10T06:48:44+00:00

I'm sorry for your pain. Sometimes when people walk out of our lives it hurts so much we don't see the possibility that comes with it. I don't think the two of you value the same ideals. You want to work on the marriage she wants to be free to explore. It hurts right now but it won't feel this way forever. There is likely someone out there whose values and needs are more aligned with your own.

Reasonable-Glass-965 · 2026-03-10T06:17:33+00:00

The part I don’t get is the shared sex toys. When me and my ex split I threw out about a grand in sex toys.

Title	My wife
Author	Plenty-Piece897
Upvotes	37
Comments	37
Date	March 10, 2026 6:04 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rpp1gi/my_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-wife.1575135 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575135

Comments