Do you get Mother's Day gifts for your ex? "From the kids"

FuriousSasquatch · 2026-04-12T17:05:32+00:00

Yes, I ask my son what he wants to get her and that's what we do. Has nothing to do with me and my relationship with my ex. Its strictly between them, I just have to implement my son's wishes.

darmitage55 · 2026-04-11T22:01:36+00:00

Yeah I do this. My daughter's 9 and she'd be crushed if mom didn't get something 'from her.' Takes like 20 minutes at Target and it's not about my ex at all, it's about my kid feeling like a good daughter. That's worth swallowing whatever weirdness I feel about it.

darmitage55 · 2026-04-11T21:54:48+00:00

Yeah I do this. My daughter's 9 and she'd be crushed if mom didn't get something 'from her.' Takes like 20 minutes at Target and it's not about my ex at all, it's about my kid feeling like a good daughter. That's worth swallowing whatever weirdness I feel about it.

PlatypusTacos · 2026-04-10T20:35:15+00:00

Depends on the situation your in I guess, its easy for some (myself included) to say its about the kids not your ex or the situation and instilling values but yeah, case to case mate, my ex and I ended amicably and for the most part things are smooth and we've kept everything as simple and easy as possible, however if you're ex is raking you over coals and making your life a living misery then its understandable to act as though its just another Sunday. However in saying that my mothers day gift is a card made by the kids (5 and 2) and some flowers. I'm not going out and splashing more than "we recognise its your day" sort of money

TopSwagCode · 2026-04-10T07:00:11+00:00

Nope. I didnt even get a birthday gift before my divorce.

DietznutzCA · 2026-04-10T02:52:11+00:00

Hell no! If my kids ask me for funds I will do that. But she took enough money from already.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-04-10T02:43:37+00:00

Absolutely, it's not about your ex, it's about teaching your daughters civility, respect and grace. The moment they are old enough to do it themselves, then just send reminders.

EDIT: at the same time, if you have any expectation of getting anything like that from her for Father's day - Fuggedaboudit - Capisce?

2026-04-10T02:42:38+00:00

Detach emotionally immediately, keep all conversations short and only about kids

Philly_Boozer_76 · 2026-04-10T02:00:59+00:00

😂 rage bait post

Sock_Eating_Golden · 2026-04-10T01:53:08+00:00

masterof-xe · 2026-04-10T01:19:58+00:00

So every year I take my kid to home Depot on the first Saturday of May. We do the kids workshop and its a mother's day theme. Pretty good.

TimeCycle3000 · 2026-04-10T01:14:39+00:00

I’m at the front end of my divorce. My plan is to. I don’t know if she would do the same for me, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll still do it.

(That said. I do hate the constant gift giving days in the calendar and feeling that gifts must be given)

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2026-04-10T01:05:12+00:00

Get the kids to make cards. It’s for the kids and good karma. Doesn’t mean YOU like her or that she deserves kindness and rainbows from you etc. it’s a good thing to do for your peace as a dad - put them in a bag the kids travel with. Easy.

Presents are silly and unnecessary imho but cards are the right thing to do.

ProductiveAussie · 2026-04-10T00:20:06+00:00

Depends on how old your kids are. If younger than writing age, ask them if they’d like to make a drawing for her. Primary school age, buy cards and they can write a message. If they want to buy something, give a small amount of money and they can choose something from the shops. I think a message is highly appreciated and sufficient. No gift is necessary and if the kids say they don’t want to, respect their wishes as the gesture is from them and not you.

twiggyRamirez11 · 2026-04-09T23:57:39+00:00

I do and I also take a picture of my baby girl handing her the gift. I do it for my baby and my ex wife knows.

1) Gift was a picture of her with our baby at the church like uplifting her and also on the same frame a picture of her hand print in pink ($20 at Walgreens) 2) Matching outfits and a “photo session” for her and my baby. ($25 at Amazon)

I think that I will have to see her for the next 16 years and I might as well be nice because of my baby girl

Unsainted_smoke · 2026-04-09T23:41:31+00:00

I don’t even like to make eye contact with my ex. She’s a shithead bully who’s said awful things about me and tried to drag my name through the mud as a cheater and abusive drug addict. None of that is true. I can’t stand the cunt but I’ll never disparage her in front of my boys and I will never tolerate my boys ever saying a bad word about their mother. I take my boys to target to pick out gifts and cards they want to get for their mother for Mother’s Day and birthdays. I’ll get them to try and wrap the gifts and make a big deal out of it because a boy should always value his mother.

DadVader77 · 2026-04-09T23:40:18+00:00

Did that the year of the divorce before it was final. Never again.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-04-09T22:30:18+00:00

My kids are old enough to make their mother a card on a piece of paper if they wanted to so its a no from me.

UrAristotle · 2026-04-09T22:18:14+00:00

I do still do this. My children and I come up with ideas and I try to use it as a time to “coach” them about how to look at the world from another person’s perspective. What is something she’s interested in? Something she could use?

shell_shocked_today · 2026-04-09T22:00:14+00:00

I asked my girls if they wanted to get their mom a Mother's Day present. They did not.

streetsmartwallaby · 2026-04-09T21:59:26+00:00

I did for my kids until their mom left. I would make sure they picked out a card and something meaningful to them. Never anything expensive but something meaningful.

I never got anything for Father’s Day until my family - who realized their mom was not going to do anything - stepped in to help the kids understand what Father’s Day was all about. Now I get a card and a small meaningful gift.

I honestly didn’t care if they got me something or not; they let me know all the time how much they appreciate me and I hate Hallmark Holidays (I’m looking at you Valentine’s Day…)

TomTomReyRey · 2026-04-09T21:31:29+00:00

I’m very close to where you are. We are right in the middle of a divorce and HATE each other. To answer your question, my opinion is it depends on the age. My 3 are 10,8, and 5. I will be getting/helping them get Mother’s Day gifts. I look at it like this, they’re kids and they can’t get their mom gifts on their own, so I will help them buy gifts or help them make something. It’s more about them. I don’t want them growing up and realizing that they didn’t get mom anything and have them feel guilty.

I couldn’t care less if she’s happy she got a gift or not. I just know it would mean a lot to my kids to see that THEY did something to make mommy happy. (Even though it’s me who’s doing it).

So to me it’s not for her, it’s for them to know in their hearts that they did something to make mommy feel special. I plan it to be this way for every holiday that deserves a gift. Minus Valentine’s Day or something like that.

Federal_Repair1094 · 2026-04-09T21:30:53+00:00

i didn't. But for guys that I know that did only did it once because they did not get a Father's Day gift in return.

Ten-minute-napper · 2026-04-09T21:30:12+00:00

I learned this the hard way. It can depend slightly on how old the kids are and how important this sort of thing is to your ex (it was very important to my ex as I learned). This might not be the same for everyone, so you can always ask your ex…then you know. That said, I recommend making sure your daughters have something for their mom. A card at minimum. This is more about showing them the importance of recognizing their mom. On the flip side, I never expect anything from my kids or ex on Father’s Day. This was also how my dad operated and it seemed like a good practice to me.

Title	Do you get Mother's Day gifts for your ex? "From the kids"
Author	Philly_Boozer_76
Upvotes	8
Comments	38
Date	April 9, 2026 9:19 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1sh2oj4/do_you_get_mothers_day_gifts_for_your_ex_from_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-you-get-mothers-day-gifts-for-your-ex-from-the.1577540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577540

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