How easy is it for women to get casual sex with someone they desire?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-22T17:03:57+00:00

I’m fat and old and ugly. I’ve always been fat. If I got rid of any and all standards for Attraction and safety, I could get laid whenever. With someone i actually desire however, physically and mentally, chances are pretty slim. Also knowing a man only wants to have sex with me because I have a vagina doesn’t make me feel desired and makes me want to have sex less.

procrast1natrix · 2026-04-22T16:13:50+00:00

(married now)

In my day, any day I wanted. For sure. Not every guy, but most guys.

This is what keeps my pill purple instead of blue. There really are differences in terms of when women will consent to sex, and some of it is cultural BS but some of it is very reasonable biological consequence.

I was a lusty lady, the only things holding me back were the cultural shame and the concerns about biological repercussions.

Gilmoregirlin · 2026-04-22T14:47:32+00:00

Pretty easy. But most don't want it. I mean it's like saying you can have all the vanilla ice cream you want for free, except you don't like vanilla ice cream.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-04-22T13:53:10+00:00

I've enjoyed my fair share of casual, the apps have never been this Uber eats for hot guys who are fun to sleep with. Most dudes were meh, and I'm not just talking about looks. I like to have something in common with the person I'm sleeping with, I'd like to be able to have an enjoyable time with them outside of sex.

If my standards were "has pulse, is man", then sure, it would be pretty easy.

Misogyny has existed waaaaaay before apps were even sn idea in someone's mind. This is just the latest excuse for it.

anomalocarus · 2026-04-22T15:02:03+00:00

Ive had a handful of casual relationships, but they were all like regular ole dating, just with a known expiration code because im moving across the country in a few months.

And yeah dating apps have been pretty easy for me. I nornally wait for my inbox to show someone whos my type, and then i just chat with them. I have been ghosted plenty of times by guys i was interested in, but it never felt like much of a big deal because im pretty happy to be single anyways.

The way that i pick for casual dating is pretty much the exact same as for an actual relationship, except with lower standards. They have to be my type, be clean, and have a pleasant personality. Meanwhile for a guy to be considered for a serious relationship he has to be hot, smart, funny, nice to be around, good communicator, have a nice family, be able to cook and clean, good health, good career, speak spanish or be willing to learn, have excellent manners, good at sex, and be my type.

No_Project_4738 · 2026-04-22T15:54:37+00:00

I’m not into casual but if I was, I would have to feel safe with the guy, that eliminates a fair portion of men. I’d have to be attracted to him, which eliminates a big group. I’d have to feel some connection or vibe and the practical things would have to be there, close location, schedules align, clean, etc. It ends up not being worth it to me especially since there is no guarantee the sex will be good and sex involves a lot of risk. Obviously if I didn’t care about any of this stuff, it would be extremely easy.

It’s hard for me to imagine women being okay to have sex with someone without these basic standards but maybe some do. I think the majority of women don’t.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-04-22T13:39:48+00:00

I've been summoned.

That completely depends on what woman desires. I have friends who also look for casual from time to time, and all of us have different tastes and priorities. Outside of feeling safe with the guy, of course. And for all of us it isn't easy as men describe.

I do get many offers, i can go on many dates, but the point is to have sex that i want. And that's rare. I would say that from about 50 matches, i would get 10 dates, and out of those 10 i would want to give a chance to 3 guys, and maaaybe 1 will be what i want. Maybe not.

theminxisback · 2026-04-22T17:52:45+00:00

I could literally walk outside and find someone to have sex with. Or send a text message and have someone over within the day, maybe even the hour. It's so easy it hurts sometimes.

I retired from casual sex. I often think about it. I go out, debate whether I want to humor some dude. The problem is I want the ability to actually fully choose who I leave with and that doesn't always happen when I get approached within minutes of walking into a space with a lot of people.

When I did engage in casual sex, it really depended on my mood. I had more than 1,000 matches on tinder and that was after going through thousands of likes. I went based on looks, or quirks I found in their bios, or whatever I was feeling in the moment. There were dudes I would hook up with whose names I didnt even know. Or care to know. It was ridiculous how easy I could get a guy back then. I mean, its about as ridiculous now as well.

Most of the people I've had sex with I've completely forgotten about. I've had idk how many dudes come up to me or find me later on throughout my life and be like "omg do you remember me??" And I have no recollection of ever meeting them even once. They could show me pictures we took together and I'll have forgotten them.

I stopped having casual sex years ago for a reason though. It's pointless. Disappointing. Not worth my time. I do think about it from time to time. Maybe to try and prove myself wrong in a sense. See if I get lucky and find a guy worth humoring for a night. It's really hard to find a dude actually worth it for me sexually. The older I get, the more experienced I get, the more selective I've become.

Artistic_Bumblebee17 · 2026-04-22T16:56:51+00:00

I don’t engage in casual sex but I’ve been friends with handsome men that do. They have standards for the women they sleep with. So no, not all women can come on and choose whatever guy she wants. Chads are PICKY

You’ll probably see in the comments that they don’t infact get the best looking men. I know this for a fact bc I’m also friends with unattractive men and they also can sometimes get casual sex. What does that say about her? Not even good enough to have sex with for one night, couldn’t get a handsome man even with 0 commitment

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DMmeClownPics · 2026-04-23T03:08:02+00:00

I have been turned down before by men who I was not at all physically attracted to.

Tylikcat · 2026-04-23T03:34:58+00:00

I think the many to few dynamic is the few women interested in casual vs. the many men who want it, not many women having sex with a smaller number of guys.

I haven't found the apps to be helpful. Too much of what I look for isn't clear there, so I end up meeting up with too many guys who I'm not the least bit interested in. And much of the time, I find the process irritating enough that I'm put off of dating men for some time. Meeting men in person is much more effective.

When I was younger, I took a lot of guys out for test runs - and yes, I mean had sex with them, but that was just part of the vetting process. Most were fun for a night or two, but just didn't hold my attention. Now, I know better what works for me, and I'm a lot more protective of my time and energy. And very aware of how high maintenance most men are.

I suppose it would be easy enough to go to a social event among folks I know fairly well, and find someone I like to take to bed. But desire? Fleeting lust maybe. But that's not really what I mean by desire. And at that, I'd be more likely to take a couple to bed.

-mixedsignals · 2026-04-22T15:34:54+00:00

For just casual? It'd be easy if I wanted

but all the casual sex I had I met them through friends of friends, work and travelling

Title	How easy is it for women to get casual sex with someone they desire?
Author	South-Discussion-799
Upvotes	11
Comments	63
Date	April 22, 2026 3:36 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ssa169/how_easy_is_it_for_women_to_get_casual_sex_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-easy-is-it-for-women-to-get-casual-sex-with.1578590 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578590

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