Any ladies that dont drink, smoke or do drugs?

curlygirl507 · 2020-09-07T13:37:52+00:00

I probably have 2 drinks a year, no smoking and no drugs. People who like to drink quite a bit, both men and women, tend not to like me - it's very annoying to them that I don't always want a drink like they do.

People aren't willing to tone down their egos, look at themselves honestly, and start to work on their own problems, so they just drink to cope with everything in their lives. I'm not sure if this is a gendered issue or not but it definitely exists among women too. It's sad and pathetic to me, and I would love to help them but their thinking is "I'm perfect, everyone else is wrong, and I desperately need a drink right now so I don't have to consider anything otherwise." Very unappealing.. I just stay away from them.

Adawritesrules · 2020-09-07T13:20:46+00:00

I read this and I want to throw up. Where are you finding these empty trash cans?

Tell them it’s because you are lucky to not have an addictive personality because all these “hobbies” they describe damage their prefrontal cortex making them essentially dumb. These addictions go hand in hand so you better bet they have a porn problem too. I would just walk away from these banana slugs, disgusting.

2020-09-07T13:30:54+00:00

I do not smoke or do drugs and my drinking is limited to one glass of wine.

Davina33 · 2020-09-07T13:44:47+00:00

I don't do any of that. I think it's more to do with the fact my parents were addicted to drink and drugs. It messed me up. My boyfriend will have a drink once or twice a month. That's it. I'm very wary of drinkers and drug takers, I can't go there again.

Parking-Act · 2020-09-07T13:22:35+00:00

I don’t either. Sometimes I will drink with friends a few times a year for fun. We just don’t go out that often but i would more if the situation presented itself. I just don’t want to get raped. So when men ask me about it I don’t really know what to say because the truthful answer is I am not drinking on a first - sixth date with you so you can try to take advantage of me or drug me or rape me if I drink too much. I view their questioning as a sign they are disappointed they can’t rape me so that’s a red flag for me anyways. I guess I’m jaded. Oh well. Rather be jaded than assaulted.

Parking-Act · 2020-09-07T13:49:26+00:00

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fim_de_semana · 2020-09-07T13:27:39+00:00

I’ve had my fair share of those things, including a brief struggle with an amphetamine addiction in my 20s. Now I avoid anything addictive.

GlitteringAdvice2020 · 2020-09-07T14:12:49+00:00

I don’t smoke or do drugs and I’m quitting alcohol for good. I’ve come to figure out alcohol doesn’t add anything to my life except calories so I’m done. Any scrote that that questions or tries to convince me to take part when I don’t want to will get cut the fuck off. Any man that doesn’t enthusiastically support me making good choices for my body and health from the get go is a LVM. And any scrote that tries to “test” that is definitely a LVM.

Conturas · 2020-09-07T13:49:47+00:00

I say no to alcohol, drugs and smoking. If it's a problem with somebody, I avoid them from then on. I think the issue is a good test if understand and accept your boundaries or not.

"Why is it a problem for you that I don't drink?" is something you can say.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-09-07T14:41:31+00:00

I have never done drugs, nor do I smoke. I also rarely drink alcohol (not even once a month on average).

I get judged all the time. People don’t believe I’ve never even tried MJ. But just a teeny whiff of someone who has over indulged and I feel so sick, so I’ve always thought I was likely allergic. Several months back, I tried CBD and had a huge negative reaction, so, I’m listening to my body and staying away.

I have Alcohol Flush Syndrome (but I’m not Asian), so I don’t experience alcohol like regular people, and it can make me feel anything from a little warm to my body aches everywhere for 2 days. Not worth it.

And smoking/tobacco is just nasty.

Obviously men who are heavy into any of those things aren’t a good fit. Plus where I live, weed is still very illegal. 🙄

the_moocher80 · 2020-09-07T15:23:01+00:00

I’ve been sober for 15 months, dating is almost impossible, most men seem to think that binge drinking is a personality trait. I’m very upfront that I don’t want be be with a heavy drinker. I’ve had men try to say that they want someone to ‘go out & have fun with’. I don’t think I’m less fun, I enjoy going out watching a band, socialising, dancing. I don’t try to persuade them otherwise, I don’t have to prove myself to anyone by drinking.

softensonic · 2020-09-07T13:59:36+00:00

I'm straight edge and have been for 10 years.

rebel4acause · 2020-09-07T16:56:14+00:00

Drinking and smoking are vices. No HVM would complain about a woman not drinking or smoking. So many of them would commend you and respect you even more.

I'll have wine if I'm at a fancy dinner or a cocktail with my girlfriends on a night out, but I do subscribe to the belief that people who drink and smoke regularly are trying to numb themselves. They're looking for an escape and a distraction, which leads me to believe they're unhappy with their lives. Who would purposefully go out of their way to look for that in a partner? You can be a "fun" person and still be completely sober and clean. It's a huge red flag if they give you a hard time for it.

Also, holding strong and not letting people push things onto you is so important. In my experience, men will push your boundaries and try to "break" you just to see if they can do it. They want to know if they have the power to "turn the good girl bad" and make you give in.

feast_or_famine1 · 2020-09-07T15:16:25+00:00

I don't. I got caught up in my exes lifestyle and started to use cocaine and drink a lot with him. He used and sold the shit and was an addict. I haven't used since February 2019 and never will again. I maybe will drink a couple times a year and my drinking is limited to one glass of something that I sip on and never finish anyways. I've never liked alcohol and the way it tastes or how it makes me feel. As far as smoking, I've never been a smoker.

I pass no judgment on those who drink, smoke, use drugs, whatever it's their life, but it's not for me. I just don't associate myself with them so I can keep myself healthy and away from all of that.

wavesandtea · 2020-09-07T15:46:28+00:00

Yup, I'm with you queen! It's rare to find but I also do NO drugs, alcohol, or smoking.

Wtfpwned69 · 2020-09-07T13:59:05+00:00

I smoke weed and drink alcohol! When I’m asked “what do you do for fun” I tell them things like cooking, soccer, and hanging with friends. I rarely ever disclose that I smoke weed until we get closer. I don’t mention drinking as something I do for fun either. If any guy thinks you’re boring because you don’t drink or smoke, move on. There are manyyyy things that can make you a fun person and drugs and alcohol ain’t it.

FurbiesOnFire · 2020-09-07T14:59:43+00:00

Ugh. I can't TAKE the pushing of boundaries. I used to smoke and drink to cope with the changes around me and it became a problem that almost killed me. Quitting both was the hardest thing I ever done. I didn't trust going to AA because there are predatory men there and I can't trust them when I'm vulnerable.

Men partners will absolutely ignore and enable these problems, then turn it on you when it becomes too much. Craft beer and cigarettes is not a personality. 🤦‍♀️

throwmefaraway85 · 2020-09-07T16:58:34+00:00

I don't. In my opinion you're paying ridiculous amounts of money just to make yourself unhealthy. It's not worth it.

I'm a personal trainer so being healthy is important to me and my career. I would never date a man that drank, smoked or did any kind of drug. That's just my preference and I'll be alone before I ever compromise.

If someone ever pushed my boundaries by trying to get me to try something, I'd walk out on them right then and there. That's so disrespectful.

It's not like I've never drank, I went out occasionally in university, I know what it's like and don't need some guy testing my pUrItY

Coffee being the one exception to this lol ☕

lialia0 · 2020-09-07T18:25:25+00:00

I have never done drugs, never smoked, never drink. And I have met guys who do none of the above either. Earlier in the year I met a guy on OLD who doesn't do any of the above, so they do exist. He was also well educated, decent job, articulate, similar profession to mine, good family values, decent conversationalist etc. (Didn't end up working due to months of covid lockdown fizzling out the connection on my part)

Generally no one really questions why I don't drink though whether that be at work or friends and acquaintances so I honestly don't find it's an issue.

The guy I'm currently seeing from OLD also literally had zero care when I said I didn't drink. I wouldn't even say I'm the kind of person who has many hobbies asides from prolific reading and other stereotypically "boring" interests, but I've had great conversations with him about all sorts of topics. I think at the end of the day if anyone is questioning why you don't drink beyond simply curiosity, or pressuring you in any way you should immediately move on to the next. Not worth your time.

yaaasss123 · 2020-09-07T19:10:25+00:00

Vet them before meeting, but don't ask directly. Ask him what he does for fun. If he thinks like that most likely his life is so boring, that's why he tries to escape it using substances

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2020-09-07T19:13:26+00:00

I think it’s because they feel bad that they can’t control themselves like you can. I don’t smoke but I used to hang with a roommate that did. She was respectful and occasionally remind me not to get addicted like she did

Parking-Act · 2020-09-07T22:04:01+00:00

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thewetdog_ · 2020-09-07T13:31:38+00:00

I don’t smoke or do drugs. Im 32 though and I used to smoke cigarettes but quit at the age of 23. though I drink, even When I was younger my social life never consisted of drinking activities like going to bars or clubs. Every man I dated included my partner knew that I loathed staying up late so I hated clubs. I also get nervous that a fight or shooting will break out i really get jumpy in places where people are all intoxicated and crowded. Most HVM will respect even if you do smoke/party/drink, but imho drugs are different. A HVM doesn’t do drugs and doesn’t associate with people that do. That said, the last few men I dated before settling down - they were increasingly higher quality than the previous one - did offhandledly mention that they liked that about me. I’ve been described as wholesome and I consider that I am. I feel that even a guy that isn’t judgmental, can’t help but associate a party lifestyle with promiscuity.

Im sure you do many fun things that you can answer the question with! Do you do sports? Arts? If somebody doesn’t find these interesting at least, they are not the person for you regardless of the drinking or smoking.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-09-07T14:25:08+00:00

I don't smoke at all, don't do drugs and only occasionally drink a glas of alcohol. It has to be a very good glass of wine or a nice cocktail on a special occasion though.

Fortunately, I have met a lot of guys who don't smoke/do drugs either. Or only very sporadic and recreationally.

When they ask 'why' I always tell them that 'I care about my health and I don't need it'.

tiniekittie · 2020-09-07T15:39:20+00:00

I’m straight edge and have never done anything except drink. I decided that it wasn’t for me because it adds nothing to my life. The first time I ever drank was last January then the second time was last October. I have far more fun when I’m not drunk and I enjoy being 100% sober! If that’s a problem with anyone, I remove them from my life!

2020-09-07T20:09:48+00:00

Yup. No drinking , smoking or drugs. No way in hell am I getting those wrinkles early or let my liver fill up with toxins. Apple juice in a champagne glass it is 😂

Don’t feel bad about your standards. Stick to what makes you happy ♥️

ShadowChildofHades · 2020-09-07T14:16:25+00:00

I dont do any of those thing and I never will. I made sure that with past partners (pre-FDS) I told them that I didn't want them doing any and if they did then I couldn't continue (though 1 had the chance to try an edible at the very end of the relationship and I didnt argue since I knew it was ending anyway).

Now if I dapple with OLD I immediately ignore anyone who does any of them. And if somehow one slips through I ask the frequency and if its more than "2/3 times a year" I just politely say "this isn't going to work" and leave.

Luckily I'm young enough that drinking isn't asked of me much as its technically illegal and I immediately ignore anyone who shows signs of participating in those activities but its hard. Theres barely anyone out there who doesn't partake and its a little disheartening.

And if they push it on me I just think I'd leave. By that point my "I dont want to" is good enough and if they push they aren't worth it.

nycgirlhere · 2020-09-07T15:50:55+00:00

Tell them the things you do for fun then LOL and if that’s their idea of fun tell them they’re kinda boring huh

balladwilds · 2020-09-07T23:10:20+00:00

same ! i just say i don't need that to have fun and usually they shut up

Kristeninmyskin · 2020-09-08T01:13:16+00:00

I can go months without drinking anything, and then may I’ll have two drinks. I really just don’t like it. Smoking and drugs just never appealed to me. Years ago, I listed all the reasons I don’t drink and there were like, seven of them!

My new response (since FDS) is:”It doesn’t add value to my life”

Equipoisonous · 2020-09-08T01:56:07+00:00

I drink, but really wine is the only thing I like to drink. A few years ago I was on a date where the guy took me to this fancy cocktail place and pretty much told me I was lame if I wasn't going to get a cocktail there even after I told him I really prefer wine. I let him badger me into getting a cocktail and surprise surprise, it was nasty. I was so annoyed at myself for letting him bully me into ordering something I didn't want. He also kept interrupting me the whole night and not letting me speak and then had the audacity to call me "quiet."

plummyjellyfish · 2020-09-08T12:33:04+00:00

I'm very 'straight edge' - no drinking, smoking, drugs, sex before marriage, I don't even drink soda. I'm an atheist, so it's not a religious thing. I've found that I don't get pestered about it at all. Story time: I once worked as a designer at some crappy outfit in Huai'an, China. This real LVM worked in the same place as me but as an ESL teacher. He was a heavy drinker, druggie, not interested in teaching at all, just your typical low-grade meathead who can stumble into these kinds of jobs easy in Asia.

Anyway, he slept around with multiple women (Chinese and foreign) at my place of work, giving all of them STDs. He was real sleazy with both men and women, also disrespectful at times to other colleagues. But with me, he was always respectful, clearly intimidated, and never gave me any shit. We were the same age, and I'm definitely not a hardass person in any way. I honestly think that he knew I would never take any of his crap, flirtatious, disrespectful or otherwise. I think a lot of men who are intimidated by women may bark a lot online, but in person, they're all cowards and back down real quick when faced with someone with a real backbone.

devoushka · 2020-09-11T06:23:20+00:00

I drink pretty frequently, occasionally smoke weed, and very rarely but sometimes do other drugs.

Kinda just the mid-20s grad school/corporate social scene in NYC.

Title	Any ladies that dont drink, smoke or do drugs?
Author	Parking-Act
Upvotes	80
Comments	67
Date	September 7, 2020 7:43 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/io3atp/any_ladies_that_dont_drink_smoke_or_do_drugs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/any-ladies-that-dont-drink-smoke-or-do-drugs.212359 https://theredarchive.com/post/212359

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