Do you feel that online dating has a good thing or a bad thing for modern society?

toysjoe · 2019-09-01T16:58:48+00:00

For Chads - excellent

For women - good initially, but gets exponentially worse as time goes on

For average and below men - horrible all the time

Preaddly · 2019-09-01T08:31:44+00:00

If men had their ideal dynamic they'd have a harem of women who look exactly the same and can never be unavailable to him for any reason.

If women had their ideal dynamic men wouldn't be able to approach them. Instead, there'd be a catalog of available men they could sift through at their leisure.

In other words it's been great for women. It's exactly what we would want.

Grek27 · 2019-09-01T02:51:13+00:00

I agree with you, it has a vastly negative impact on womens expectations of men. It's almost laughable how bad it is.

NockerJoe · 2019-09-01T04:00:34+00:00

For society average and below men aren't pairing off. Married men score higher on both performance and pay. Therefore if OLD is blocking men from getting married there's going to be a decrease in productivity that'll probably compound over time.

bonslytoss · 2019-09-01T09:44:12+00:00

Online dating has been absolutely terrible for the health of society. As time goes on, it will only get worse as we approach a critical mass of men with not much going for them. Men are propping society up, and if too many decide it isn't worth it and leave society behind, then we will collapse.

SocialObserver01 · 2019-09-01T03:06:29+00:00

From a male perspective:

In the beginning(say 2013-2014), it was cool, edgy and different and definitely offered something unique and refreshing to the dating scene.

Now in 2019 where it's seen as the go-to, it has become a piss poor time-suck for most people. It obviously works best for say 9-10 rated males and 6 and above women. I think comparatively though it provided the greatest boost for guys like me - conventionally attractive, not shy but not terribly extroverted. On a net basis, I've benefited a lot more than I otherwise would have without OLD. I have got to sleep with and date some very attractive women I may not have had the chance to meet without OLD. Still though from a time perspective(lay-to-swipe ratio), it's not much to write home about.

My biggest problem with it overall is the creation of the "something better around the corner" syndrome that affects both men and women. This creates a lack of stabilization as couples have little incentive to work through things - the hard things that actually make relationships stronger.

Oh well...

87AudreyHorne · 2019-09-01T07:59:23+00:00

To me online dating just seems really sad but I'm also a little idealistic when it comes to matters of romance.

biplab1990 · 2019-09-01T08:28:19+00:00

Online dating is the most sexually liberating thing that has happened to women since the 3rd wave. It has done more for feminism than any of your favorite feminists.

Good or bad depends on your personal point of view. Is moving from a regulated market to a free market good? How bad will a late stage capitalism be? Do you want regulation in the form of religion and patriarchy? Do you want science meddling in the process through eugenics?

gunbusterxl · 2019-09-01T12:53:38+00:00

Depends on your gender.

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-09-01T06:26:44+00:00

Online dating works for plenty of men, and without it I know many wouldn’t meet a lot of the women they’ve had relationships with

Redditors are generally below average SMV, often significantly so. There’s your problem

OatsGYOW · 2019-09-01T02:57:22+00:00

Without a question bad for society. Society flourishes when men are fulfilled and working hard, which is why modern civilization was primarily built around monogamy.

But if you follow the hedonic treadmill theory, women will make it out mostly unscathed. Men will too, but they will be more bitter about women, and hopefully treat them as a lower priority in their lives as they find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere.

But yeah, it is a big fat boil on the ass of society.

SunflowerBurst · 2019-09-01T05:15:52+00:00

The people who most benefit from OLD are good looking, photogenic people who are shy, intro, serious, or awkward in person and struggle to open up in real life. Unlike the cartoon views of people online, not every objectively attractive person comes kitted out with a cheerleader or bro Stacy or Chad personality. For people with good looks but socially shyness or other issues that make blocks irl (heck it might just be that no one has the nerve to approach) it’s a really helpful thing, even though it’s still always shallow and soul draining for everyone who uses it, yes even the Chads.

wtknight · 2019-09-01T05:20:35+00:00

I think that meeting someone who you first get to know online is not a bad thing at all. Being judged on an online dating site by mostly just a picture is probably a bad thing for most men and some women, though.

mandoa_sky · 2019-09-01T05:56:53+00:00

so many people don't seem to know how to keep convos going via text.

i've given up re OLD and just decide to do it the old fashioned way via friends and hobby clubs.

[deleted] · 2019-09-01T11:33:35+00:00

Hell no, it's a disaster.

PMmeareasontolive · 2019-09-01T16:49:49+00:00

As I get older I think I'm noticing a huge swath of the female population that is missing from OLD. Namely, women who are shy and/or introverted, and their ilk. Just the people who should be benefiting from OLD (since you don't have to meet people face to face at first or even leave the house).

It might be the stigma of OLD being just for the psychotic or the desperate. Combined with not being able to handle the sheer wall of weirdness that they are confronted with on those platforms.

My experience now is that it is predominantly single moms or women who "love" their careers but don't have much of a life outside of those things (except the occasional travel experience or other life experiences for the consumer with little time). Women who don't have time to date normally.

Which is fine, more power to them. Personally I don't find them an inspiring bunch though and I wish there were more of the shy/introverted/whatever group, which is fairly significant in number, present.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-09-01T23:12:24+00:00

Online dating is just something fun that people take way too seriously

[deleted] · 2019-09-01T23:58:33+00:00

I think it's good. Most people are happier with a sex life. From a male perspective, OLD gives lower SMV men a chance to approach many more women of similar SMV than they would in day-to-day interactions. If we're looking at sex alone and not screening partners for viability as an LTR, it is ridiculously easy to find a partner with a few extra pounds / a kid / recent divorce who is willing to sleep with you. If a man is not finding women who are willing to have sex with him online, it's not because he's ugly/fucked up/beta, it's because he's doing something wrong.

Willow-girl · 2019-09-02T01:24:57+00:00

A good thing, especially for people with interests that aren't on the standard menu. If you're planning to be a missionary to Outer Borneo or want a partner who will let you pee on them, OLD is the way to go! :-D

dval92 · 2019-09-01T05:56:37+00:00

Social media in general is a societal cancer.

poppy_blu · 2019-09-01T13:50:16+00:00

One, it’s not new.

Two, it shouldn’t need to be said that OLD is visual, so if you’re significantly below average attractiveness you’re not going to do well on it. You need other methods as part of your strategy.

And therein lies the problem. Like everything else, they would rather blame OLD for “ruining society” than get over their fear of approaching, maximize their appearance, and work on their personalities so they do better IRL scenarios.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-09-01T03:13:21+00:00

Put your phone down, and go outside. Go to happy hour, go to a bar. Strike up conversations with women, where they can judge you on more than your appearance

OLD makes women evaluate men on a looks-only basis. That’s now how our sexuality should work

SocialCupcake · 2019-09-01T02:55:42+00:00

I love it. I am very choosy and wanted a certain type of girl. No smoking, no kids, college and multiple languages. In real life I could not find that near me with date, random run one or chance.

Met many great girls online online and eventually married one.

With OLD I can filter out the wastes of time. Oddly so did my wife, she met the exact guy she wanted. No having to settle with who lives near you or who you meet at the Griswold's Christmas dinner.

Grek27 · 2019-09-01T02:56:00+00:00

Presumably there is less settling out of circumstance/"this is who happens to be nearby" and more people getting what they truly hunger for.

What's so bad about that

Icunvme66 · 2019-09-01T02:57:50+00:00

I believe online dating has been a great thing. It’s given so many people a chance to date who wouldn’t be able to because of geography or work circumstances. Sure it’s not for everyone, but there’s a 1,000 ways to meet people outside of OLD.

reeearnakedchoke · 2019-09-01T03:05:27+00:00

Unfortunately, the more i learn about OLD, the more I think it has been a terrible mistake. It's inflated the egos of women to such an extent that you basically have to walk on water to stand a chance with them. And it's turned men into bitter people.

Average height, non white, homeless, weird nerdy dude in a predominantly white and affluent area and I get 2-3 matches a day. Either my face is god tier(it isn't) or OLD isn't that bad?

Maybe i'd say bad in that it's just one more factor making face to face interaction of any type rarer. I think the effect on modern dating is overblown.

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k7512 · 2019-09-01T11:27:29+00:00

I'd say that in general it's good for the photogenic physically attractive people. As thats the first thing you see about a person. However if you are average looking/below average and you aren't photogenic it won't do you any good, you are better off approaching women in real life as you can show off other facets of your attractive qualities

AnActualPerson · 2019-09-01T17:13:39+00:00

Online dating is fine, even a big improvement. You can filter for what you're looking for, by location, body type, etc. Plus it's good for shy introverts. It's the gamification of it that might turn out to be a bad thing.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2019-09-01T20:36:34+00:00

um no, women didnt get their ego inflated, we already knew we are worth more than men would have us believe.

what is happening is women being free to reject subpar manlets and that's the tea.

bitter men can keep on hatin', they never had anything valuable to offer us in the first place.

usctrojan415 · 2019-09-03T04:09:14+00:00

It's neither good nor bad. It's all user centric. Most people use bad photos, wrong apps, swipe outside of their league and have unrealistic expectations.

[deleted] · 2019-09-04T16:31:34+00:00

No opinion on it being good or bad but based off my own experiences of online dating for years, I have quit it completely. It's just not allowing me to meet women that I am interested in once I know them more than a first date.

usctrojan415 · 2019-10-01T04:06:21+00:00

https://eddie-hernandez.com/is-online-dating-worth-it/

wekacuck · 2019-09-01T03:50:49+00:00

What's been your experience on OLD? My sense from your post is you haven't used it.

I haven't used it because it wasn't a thing 20 years ago when I was last single, but it intrigues me. It just seems to me that it doesn't take much time and you can just fuck around on it when you've got a few minutes to kill. I mean I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket, but it seems to expand opportunity.

phlegmdawg · 2019-09-01T07:32:01+00:00

Good. It’s connecting people who never would have been in each other’s circle before, making it so that we can have better matches than settling on someone we’d come across in our daily life like before.

You can tell a lot from someone by how they chose to portray themselves via their profile. It lets you go into an interaction with more of a semblance of who you’re talking to than in the real world (where all you know is you find them attractive). I like to do my research first before engaging, so it’s super helpful. Of course, they need to be consistent once you meet up in person, but you handle that hurdle when you get to it.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-09-01T08:19:29+00:00

It’s good for older people, people with very niche interests in a partner (for example I’d never just happen to find a submissive furry with a foot fetish....if I was into that), basically anyone who isn’t in a target rich environment.

It’s had a terrible impact on young people imho. There are so many other aspects to attraction that just can’t be conveyed in a picture and bio. Young people are around lots of other young people all the time, and if they’re not, they should try to be. Put down your phones and try to meet people irl.

Title	Do you feel that online dating has a good thing or a bad thing for modern society?
Author	Mystery_Tragic
Upvotes	14
Comments	119
Date	September 1, 2019 2:48 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cy4px1/do_you_feel_that_online_dating_has_a_good_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-feel-that-online-dating-has-a-good-thing-or.254191 https://theredarchive.com/post/254191

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