Q4All - What does this sub think: Can a man and a woman be "just friends"?

says_harsh_things · 2019-06-11T15:45:51+00:00

If there is no sexual attraction on either party's side then yeah. It just so happens Men tend to find their Female friends physically attractive, while the reverse is usually not true.

Here4thebeer3232 · 2019-06-11T16:10:32+00:00

I, as a man, have great and amazing friends, both Male and female, of all levels of attractiveness. My friendships with women are just as deep and fullfilling as my ones with men. Hell, I've had women as roomates, week long snowboarding trips, and international travel partners.

I am always confused by this question. Are there really people out there that think they can't be friends? It doesn't make sense in my mind that you inherently cant.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-06-11T16:21:25+00:00

i dont see why people cant be friends and suffer some discomfot of attraction. i have had friends who were attracted to me, i was friends with men to whom i was attracted. yeh it sucked, the part where my attraction wasnt reciprocated and i didnt get what i wanted, but i enjoyed their company and their friendship so i just dealt with it

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2019-06-11T16:26:04+00:00

Sure but only if there's no oneitis orbiter bullshit going on.

MrHerbSherman · 2019-06-11T16:08:58+00:00

Yea if there is no unresolved attraction running either way

trail22 · 2019-06-11T16:02:44+00:00

No. Not unless one is really ugly and the other isn't.
Women are work. Even having one as a friend. Women are still women. They still blab on about stupid stuff and dumb ideas. Their still weak and helpless. Their problem solving isn't that great. So what does a woman bring to the table as a friend?

Comprehensive_Zombie · 2019-06-11T16:09:26+00:00

Yes, I've been in coed friend groups for most of my life. Sometimes people do pair off but a majority of the time everyone is just regular friends with each other.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-06-11T18:15:36+00:00

Yes. I’ve fucked both men and women, and have turned down both men and women and have been friends with both men and women. I’ve also been hurt, betrayed, supported, loved, rejected, protected and submitted to by both men and women. Humans are just humans. Sometimes they fuck sometimes they do other things

DREADC0RSAIR · 2019-06-11T18:49:57+00:00

When people are asking this question, they aren't really asking

"Can a man and woman just be friends?"

They are really asking

"Can a man and woman continually get close without becoming intimate?"

If the friendship held a high propinquity and the two were sexuality compatible there's definetly a lower chance they won't hook up at some point.

TheJim66 · 2019-06-11T19:12:08+00:00

Of course they can.There are many ugly women after all.

To be honest yeah you can be friends with women however if they are attractive they will never be like the friendships you have with your dudes or with ugly women.There have to be rules (don't Hangout too much alone for example ) and there is always the sexual attraction in the background.

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duckiepoos · 2019-06-11T15:43:10+00:00

Any time in the past I’ve had women friends it ends up a mess. I’m sure it works for some guys but not me.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-06-11T16:47:22+00:00

The majority of my friends are male, and I've never had a problem, but I'm also EXPLICITLY clear in my boundaries, and treat them like brothers. By which I mean I give them about seventeen times as much shit as other dudes. 🤣

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-06-11T17:06:16+00:00

My lifelong best friend is a guy. Neither of us are the least bit attracted to each other, even though we both attractive people

angels-fan · 2019-06-11T17:58:36+00:00

I have legit women friends. No sexual chemistry on either side.

SweetLikeTupeloHoney · 2019-06-11T18:44:28+00:00

Yes, but you have to go past the idea that friends are people that are beneficial to you for something. Friends are just people to enjoy and love with no expectations of more. If there is an attraction it usually has to either be acted upon to get it out of the way or 2 people need self control to abstain. The attraction will go away.

jonascf · 2019-06-11T19:05:57+00:00

Yes, they can.

Why would they not be able to?

Tayterthot · 2019-06-11T19:09:26+00:00

Absolutely. My main group of friends is mostly dudes I’ve hung with since high school. I’m the only chick that regularly comes around. Some girls come and go, mostly the girlfriends and exes and orbiter-collectors that the guys bring in, but few really stick around. Most of the guys have shown some form of romantic or sexual interest in me in the past, but that’s all water under the bridge now. We share similar interests, and hold weekly dnd sessions together, and yearly camping trips, and we cram into hotel rooms for anime conventions together.

goatismycopilot · 2019-06-11T19:50:51+00:00

I have some male aquaintances that I am friendly with over shared activities but I do not know if I would elevate them to friend status, my closest friends are women.

SqueaksScreech · 2019-06-11T20:08:43+00:00

Yes because I tend to be seen as the little brother of the friendship.

poquitobalofao · 2019-06-11T22:02:44+00:00

It kinda works until it doesn’t. Not every friendship needs to be oh so deep.

Now going against the trope, most of my female friends end up wanting to be more than friends.

Million-Suns · 2019-06-11T23:19:27+00:00

I think women and men can be friend as long as there is not any sexual tension between them.

thisgentledust · 2019-06-12T01:03:49+00:00

In all my social circle both close and far (probably ~500 people) I have never seen it happen, as in TRUE friends.

What I see instead that people confuse for “friendship”:

light acquaintances. Things like work or school friends. People you get lunch or maybe a happy hour with of the opposite sex. Do you hit this person up on a Friday night to hang at your place or shoot the shit? No.
group friends. Hanging with them in large settings like parties, tail gates, coed sports teams. Again, ‘friends’ but these girls ain’t helping ya move
couple friends - yea you and your SO are friends with other couples, great. Still not someone you’re likely texting all the time for fun.
friendzoned - either the guy or (sometimes) the girl has feelings for the other or is trying to play the long game to get into their pants. Probably the most common, most girls know this but don’t acknowledge it
gay friends - only true case of guy/girl friendship is with a gay guy

99% of guy/girl friendships fall into the above categories. So when you hear redditors squeal “of course guys and girls can be friends!” Just know they are full of it and fall into the above somewhere. Tell me how many guy/girl friends do stuff like:

talk about their sex life openly with one another
do things like road trips together
do tough shit like help move together
console each other when the other deals with adversity
go over to each other’s house and hang, watch TV, etc
all of the above with neither party wanting more than friendship

It doesn’t fucking happen. Yes I’m sure it exists, but it is 1% of all guy girl friendships

Mystery_Tragic · 2019-06-12T04:48:49+00:00

Yes.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-06-11T16:21:12+00:00

In junior high and high school I was the sole girl in my social group of 4-5 guys. I didn’t really have girl friends till after my daughter was born. I graduated 30 years ago and we are still friends. Got together with one of them around Thanksgiving in fact (platonically).

belletaco · 2019-06-11T16:31:09+00:00

yes, of course they can.

crystal_wb · 2019-06-11T16:25:58+00:00

Definitely. Basically all my friends are guys. I guess the key is to make sure nobody develops sexual attraction or feelings. If that happens in my friend group I try to kill it off as quickly as possible. Never had a problem.

[deleted] · 2019-06-11T17:53:21+00:00

Nope, not for most men.
First of all the man needs to have a healthy sexual outlet or be asexual.
Second of all he needs to come from a culture where adult men and women around him were/are friends.

Blonsomio · 2019-06-11T15:50:26+00:00

Only with fat chicks.

Title	Q4All - What does this sub think: Can a man and a woman be "just friends"?
Author	washington_breadstix
Upvotes	1
Comments	131
Date	June 11, 2019 3:41 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bze1to/q4all_what_does_this_sub_think_can_a_man_and_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-does-this-sub-think-can-a-man-and-a.255355 https://theredarchive.com/post/255355

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