[Discussion] Why do so many women complain about men sucking in bed, but in online discussions no men ever think they suck in bed.

alby333 · 2019-03-27T12:34:46+00:00

I don't think this is a male thing. I've yet to meet a woman who thinks they are bad in bed. I've had sex with a few who were though.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-03-27T10:04:41+00:00

Most men don’t understand how psychological the female orgasm is. If a beta male tells you that he knows how to make you orgasm, he is lying.

It’s not just women who have casual sex who can’t orgasm, it’s most women. A lot of women can’t even make themselves orgasm.

I orgasm through PIV, but I have been masturbating since I was 4 years old and I can imagine the scenarios in my head that make me orgasm while I’m being fucked. These scenarios would not make me cum if I wasn’t being fucked by an attractive, dominant man.

goatismycopilot · 2019-03-27T12:07:23+00:00

I do not think any of this is actually happening. In fact a majority of " where are all the good men" conversations are being held between men speculating about whether the women having these conversations are just nasty career bitches or 300 pounds blue haired book store clerks. Neither of those groups is online talking about their sad non existent orgasms in the same way that men talk about their dick.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-03-27T09:29:16+00:00

Nah, women's enjoyment of sex is more related to how attracted she is to the guy than any actual skill or act. Unattractive Billy could be downtown trying his hardest and it won't do as much for her as drunk fumbling Chad.

passepar2t · 2019-03-27T09:30:39+00:00

Chad doesn't go online

lol

[deleted] · 2019-03-27T16:16:23+00:00

because all other men are losers. No man thinks he is a loser. He thinks he is NAMALT.

Here4thebeer3232 · 2019-03-27T14:25:35+00:00

What explains this disparity?

It's an ego thing. Men think they are better in bed than they actually are. Women here also say that they make recommendations to their partner to say what feels good for them but it is typically ignored. A lot of it also comes down to self interest, and men are more often only interested in their orgasm than that of their partners.

I have a theory that I think explains it.

I read your theory. I think you really need to spend less time online. It reads as this weird fan fiction of what you theorize human interaction is like without having experienced it yourself. "Betas" are just as capable of being bad at sex as Chad's. Chad goes online, I'm not sure where this idea he doesnt comes from. Any man sincerly saying "fuckmefuckmefuckme" to a girl online deserves to be ignore, its beyond pathetic.

If men want, as a goal, to be better at sex. Prioritize your partners enjoyment, focus on stimulation beyond just penetration, and actually do some foreplay. I feel that would solve most of the issues.

Male redditor: But I'll eat your pussy! I even pretend to like how it tastes!

Idk about you, but pussy tastes amazing. You dont know what you're missing out on.

rachmaninoffkills · 2019-03-27T13:49:20+00:00

Good sex for women is more complex then it is for men. It's about the trust they have in their partner, how confident they feel about their own body and various other things that make orgasming easier. So a guy could be really good in bed but still not satisfy his women because of said things.

chaddad9000 · 2019-03-27T14:11:53+00:00

You are right about redditors.

But actually I've seen a shitload of posts on TRP and elsewhere in the manosphere where the guy brags about not caring at all about the sloot he's dumping a load into. Guess they're abundant enough they don't have to worry about repeat business. But somehow I doubt their Chad status.

simcity4000 · 2019-03-27T15:23:27+00:00

Its simple.

Most people are too nice to tell someone they are anything less than the best sexual partner they've ever had. Everyone has an overinflated sense of their own sexual ability.

praisethesun799 · 2019-03-27T11:00:50+00:00

Oh man this thread is gonna be the shit . “Bbbut she’s gonna cum 10x from Chads 10inch jackhammer, it’s all about attractiveness bro” 😂

carrawayjames · 2019-03-27T12:28:15+00:00

Most men are bad lovers. They either are too egotistical to learn or they just don't have enough reference points to go off of. Women usually fake orgasms so men feel they are doing their job well.

Don't get wrong men want to learn but getting sex them for them is not something they can get as easily if they are average or unnattractive.

diffdedbed · 2019-03-27T13:23:27+00:00

My experience as a swinger, is that men focus far more on giving women pleasure than the other way around. I've been with a hell of a lot of "sex positive" women and can count on one hand the givers.

Added as /u/littleknownfacts said, its how turned on the woman is that seems to be the deciding factor in orgasm for women. When shes turned on its going to happen unless the guy is really bad.

Now that doesn't mean PIV for most (despite incel laments) so you do have to work at it a little at least.

Men simply do try harder in bed as a rule, but being women are harder to orgasm this is understandable.

The "magic" zone is where she is kinda turned on but not lost to lust, thats where your skill really matters.

SkookumTree · 2019-03-27T20:39:30+00:00

Who the hell is going to admit to sucking at something, especially something personal like that?

goldmedalflower · 2019-03-27T12:39:16+00:00

Most women do not feel comfortable talking directly about what turns them on. A "real man" would just know what buttons to push. So when everything is done and she wasn't satisfied, of course it's the man's fault.

Cho_Assmilk · 2019-03-27T09:43:17+00:00

Easy: Sex is extremely hard to communicate for most people, so people lie and says they are great to avoid embarrassment. Also no one is going to admit they suck in bed.

I'm fairly honest and I am sure there are other people who are honest as well.

carrawayjames · 2019-03-27T09:36:29+00:00

This post makes no sense.

So are you implying that most men that brag are just liars? Why would you even assume that the men that are bragging about giving women orgasms are talking about the same women that go on the internet and complain about their lack of orgasms?

And women don't give attention to guys online because why would they? How are you supposed to reply to some needy douchebag on reddit that said he's gonna eat your pussy, precisely? Giving him your home address?

[deleted] · 2019-03-27T13:26:21+00:00

Liars conforming to social norms under pressure? Strange

Skuggasveinn · 2019-03-27T10:18:12+00:00

Sexual performance is so integrated into the male identity. If you say you are not good in bed you are basically saying you are not a man. 80% of men claim they are above average.

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PMmeareasontolive · 2019-03-27T21:22:28+00:00

Well, it doesn't address your theory, but just to answer the question in the headline of your post, nobody ever asks the question "do you think you're bad at sex?"

If they did I think lots of men (and women) would admit that their level of craftsmanship in that area is not very high.

Or, isn't it something like 95% of people think they are above average in intelligence? Maybe it's the same thing between the sheets.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-03-27T23:27:33+00:00

There are a lot of reasons, but I will just cite two.

For one, a lot of men adhere to the "women don't come every time" line. I'm sure it's soothing to believe that she didn't come through no fault of his. Thing is, some women do orgasm, even multiply; some women don't, not even once; but God damn it, your partner should at least try.

For two, a lot of women aren't honest and will fake orgasms rather than just tell the man what gets them off. It's tricky to maneuver because you don't want to hurt your partner's feelings, but it's conducive to a great sex life to have the conversation about turn offs, turn ons, and what works and doesn't.

[deleted] · 2019-03-28T00:09:05+00:00

Women can't really orgasm from having sex with an ugly or undesirable man no matter how "good" he is in bed. Sex is like 80 percent mental for them. There's a reason those reddit dudes are invisible, someone on reddit begging me to let them give me head would very much be in the invisible category.

I'd rather have orgasmless but otherwise enjoyable sex with someone I was comfortable having sex with than fuck an ugly dude that happened to have an extra tongue and an 8 inch dick that had ridges and vibrated.

No one wants to admit they suck in bed. I bet the dudes I've slept with in the past haven't even considered that they were terrible, they were probably just like "mission accomplished, pussy destroyed".

jc3833 · 2019-03-29T06:26:12+00:00

simple, everyone lies in person "yeah, you were great!" but then online, when they dont think they're at risk of being found out by their partner, "oh my god, they suck! and not in the good way!"

[deleted] · 2019-03-31T01:18:44+00:00

I'll go on a limb. It's been a very very long time since I've had sex, but I'm reasonably sure I can't compete with a guy who's packing 11 inches and wearing a vibrating cock ring who can fuck for 45 minutes straight.

It's one of the main reasons why even if I was interested in sex, I wouldn't pursue it. Sounds like too much risk for almost no reward for her.

BadAdvice1 · 2019-03-27T12:39:09+00:00

Because men do all the work.

tickledpic · 2019-03-27T16:28:11+00:00

I have a theory that I think explains it.

You have a hypothesis.

is just using Becky as a temporary cumdump so he doesn't really care about making it a religious experience for her.

That's your provider/protector fantasy. Under normal circumstances (not drunk, etc) sex with an alpha dude is way better than with a beta dude, because women actually desire him. Their own desire often is more important than what the guy does. Women can orgasm from thoughts and expectations alone.

GamingYourMom · 2019-03-29T07:04:02+00:00

Because women are liars.

RoyalAugur92 · 2019-03-27T13:26:13+00:00

Most women are asexual and/or incapable of orgasming - it's not the men's fault. Women complaining about men's supposed lack of prowess aren't actually interested in better sex, they're just using it as an excuse.

Christian_Kong · 2019-03-27T16:35:02+00:00

It's cause the women fuck a ton of guys and often fake orgasm(or the man assumes he made them do so) and dude thinks hes the shit. A vicious cycle.

Ultramegasaurus · 2019-03-27T16:24:35+00:00

Because women love putting down men and are barely called out on it. On the contrary, it's culturally and even politically encouraged.

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