Q4RP: If you are in a committed relationship, are you cool with your gf/wife going to a club or bar without you?

jax006 · 2018-08-20T20:59:17+00:00

Not in an LTR, but I would hope one would consist of enough trust that it would be cool.

Otherwise, sounds like a very miserable and tiring relationship. I dont like being responsible for or worrying about others even for major life events and things, let alone going to a bar.

Also, If a girl wants to cheat on you she doesnt need to go to a bar she's got a smartphone with tinder.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-08-20T21:01:51+00:00

Bar with girlfriends is fine. I don't put myself into any situations in which my gf has to trust me. Going out to clubs is one of those situations. And so I expect the same.

crunk_rabbit · 2018-08-21T02:22:48+00:00

Yes Im fine with her going to clubs or bars without me, assuming she is going with girlfriends. You have to be able to trust your girl, and if you can then you shouldn't have a problem with this.

concacanca · 2018-08-20T22:42:36+00:00

Yeah don't have any issues with her meeting friends for drinks. They all know me and love me.

Clubs are ok also as long as she goes with a big group of people (again I know all her friends). She knows my boundaries here though as she almost got her ass dumped early in our relationship in such a situation so knows not to do anything stupid.

theambivalentrooster · 2018-08-21T02:37:41+00:00

The only time my wife goes out to a bar without me is when she’s doing something like a birthday party for a friend. And they are almost always home by midnight.

All the Bachelorette parties are behind us as well.

We’re talking about maybe 6-8 times per year she goes out without me. I trust her otherwise I wouldn’t have married her.

Now if she wanted to go clubbing I’d be very concerned because that is not th woman I married.

Edit:forgot to add we have the find my friend app set up so we also know where the other is at all times. This wasn’t something we discussed or set up after a problem. We just both like it.

Funny story about that actually. We got into a fight about something stupid and I left the house and turned off the app so she wouldn’t know where I was. But it kept popping back on. I had just gone around the block to pout. Well turns out she fired up my iPad and enabled it from there every time I turned it back off.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2018-08-21T03:02:48+00:00

My husband has been sober for 33 years. Once or twice a year I would go out dancing and drinking with my friends, he would drop me off and pick me up. Nbd. Having a permanent designated driver is great.

I go to “the big city” on overnights a few times a year now and go out to hear music with my friend and her female friend group. A few are married, husbands almost always stay home.

themormonchurch · 2018-08-21T03:20:26+00:00

i don't mate-guard

RandomTRPan0n · 2018-08-21T14:59:32+00:00

LTR here

No.

I fully trust her. But, the issue is her protection and safety.

There's too many dumb PUA guys who think it's okay to go around grabbing women and make out with them. I've seen it in my own PUA days, and would not be okay with some dummy passing her an oral STD: Herpes or warts

321PK · 2018-08-20T20:58:24+00:00

Dive bar with friends yes club or dance bar fuck no

reluctantly_red · 2018-08-21T03:13:35+00:00

I'd be cool with it. I doubt the guys she'd meet in a bar would be much competition. I'd have more to worry about with guys she meets at work or other professional setting.

stats135 · 2018-08-20T21:50:33+00:00

No. Why the fuck would a woman decide to go to a club? A club is a place where people are drinking and dancing to loud music while people approach each other for sex. The best case scenario is that she is a party girl that enjoys dancing her ass around for the world to see, in which case I highly question if our personalities are all that compatible for me to continue being in a LTR with her, and the worst case scenario is that she is looking to fuck someone.

Merger-Arbitrage · 2018-08-20T23:11:35+00:00

My wife has gone to see DJs and other artists perform with her friends, but without me plenty of times. Ditto in reverse. I even go out solo if she's out with a friend and I don't find any guy company for the night, though mostly to upscale food or drink joints which are open late.

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yasee · 2018-08-20T22:52:07+00:00

I am in a relationship but not a commited one. Does that count?

I would let her go both places. Even if she was my wife or gf.

But there would be consequences if not for a good reason. I believe adults should do whatever they want, but face the consequence of actions. And to look like you are branchswinging would let to the ending of the relationship rather quickly.

I cannot accept a woman going to clubs without a pretty good reason to. (Like a brother is presenting or a friend is getting out of the country)

I would be way more accepting of a bar tho, every once in a while you do need some alcohol with friends, but even then I would not like she going too much to the same bar. Or to bars known to be a place to "get women".

[deleted] · 2018-08-21T03:45:07+00:00

No. My wife would never do such a thing it's unthinkable. I can't imagine that she would ever give me such a pass. If it was a girlfriend? Well I'm not really sure what you guys mean when you say girlfriend cause I get this idea that what you really mean is wife I haven't married yet. But if it was? So what? I have no ownership over a woman simply because I'm currently a guy who is porking her nor do I expect any. Plenty of women demonstrated to me verily that they were not wife material. There's nothing wrong with that I still dated them and had a lot of good fun times. Polygamy ain't legal yet only serial polygamy so serial polygamy it is.

always_sad12 · 2018-08-21T10:01:36+00:00

Depends. Her sister is having a birthday party and they want to go out, and my girlfriend has not in the last year? Okay.

She does it every month? I’m restarting my Tinder.

__Some_person__ · 2018-08-21T10:34:15+00:00

As long as she wears a body cam it's fine.

/s

[deleted] · 2018-08-21T14:29:46+00:00

It depends.

Who's she going with? Why? what's she doing there?

is it a bar (a neighborhood watering hole and they're going to eat, drink, and shoot the shit) or is it a nightclub (pounding thumping dance music, strobe lights, wall to wall people, dancing/grinding, DJ, out until 3 am)?

basedgrizzly · 2018-08-21T16:36:47+00:00

Yeah I would and do allow it because I go out regularly with friends (weekly, if not multiple times in a week). The thing is, I wouldn't seriously date a woman who wanted to go out to clubs/bars regularly.

I also probably wouldn't date a woman who didn't have some friends that invite her out at least every now and then. Girls I'm attracted to for relationships do more daytime and evening activities, and less night time activities, especially when without me.

[deleted] · 2018-08-22T11:39:23+00:00

Yeah I dont give a shit. I wish she would get out more to be honest.

hammerhaunts · 2018-08-20T20:58:12+00:00

It would seem suspicious under most circumstances

oftheinfinite · 2018-08-20T21:59:48+00:00

Would it be cool if women would allow their husbands to go to bars/clubs without them or with their friends? It's tough as it is for my brother-in-law--a civil engineer who once worked for a major city and the state--to get help with the workload from a draftswoman because my sister fears he would cheat and insists the drafter has to be a man.

Q4RP: If you are in a committed relationship, are you cool with your gf/wife going to a club or bar without you?

Comments

IMAGINE BEING A SUCKER WHO HAS ONE STANDARD FOR HIS SO BUT THEN MATE GUARDS HIMSELF.

Title	Q4RP: If you are in a committed relationship, are you cool with your gf/wife going to a club or bar without you?
Author	basedgrizzly
Upvotes	1
Comments	151
Date	August 20, 2018 8:53 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/98xdlo/q4rp_if_you_are_in_a_committed_relationship_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4rp-if-you-are-in-a-committed-relationship-are.261093 https://theredarchive.com/post/261093