Q4men: would you move across the country for your wife’s career?

MoodyBrizo · 2018-05-05T18:02:42+00:00

This depends on my own situation. If it not a detriment to my own career and life goals than sure, otherwise no. I would never sacrifice my goals for any woman's career.

Taipanshimshon · 2018-05-05T17:35:36+00:00

How about this - let’s assume that this woman makes more than me and I can get an equivalent job to my own where she is. And she can’t get an equivalent job where we are ? Maybe. Depends how much I like my current job and social situation.

Kids ? Schools ? Other family considerations ?

wattwatty · 2018-05-05T17:30:55+00:00

This is really specific. Like, really specific...

The obvious question is: What do I do for a living? Am I easily movable in that sense? Or, is this a true two-body problem?

wtknight · 2018-05-05T17:57:38+00:00

I would move. I could find a job making the same amount of money, and she would be making more money in the future plus pursuing her happiness, so I don't see a downside to moving except potentially being farther away from extended family for a bit of time.

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hammerhaunts · 2018-05-05T17:43:10+00:00

Callandoro · 2018-05-05T17:47:45+00:00

Ok first of all I probably wouldn’t marry a nurse, I tend to prefer women whose skills are more in language and arts

My work is tied to where I live and she knew this when she married me. Kind of a dick move on her part to now insist on moving across the country isn’t it

I probably wouldn’t have married her if this was her plan when I met her

wracky272 · 2018-05-05T17:48:54+00:00

Wow, suggesting divorce over such a thing is pretty ridiculous.

That aside, given my situation, I would be open to moving, but that might be different if we had kids with established schools and friends. I have solid employment in a high-demand field so I could easily find a job elsewhere, but the decision wouldn't be easy, and she might have to deal with a small period of unemployment from me. I guess it would mainly depend on where we're moving, but I've always had a bit of an itch to move away so I might go pretty willingly.

SirNemesis · 2018-05-05T21:20:44+00:00

No, the salary I can get in the Bay Area due to my profession is too high to make moving across the country for her job of $70-150k worth it.

[deleted] · 2018-05-06T00:10:54+00:00

Is this new job somewhere warm? Like Florida?

Absolutely! Course it should be noted my current job is coming to an end within the year anyway.

cxj · 2018-05-06T09:54:18+00:00

RN here. Highly suspicious of the “free” part. I can’t imagine being with such a chick in the first place tbh. These people are nerds , boring and we are not cut from the same cloth. Most of these “nurses” can’t hack the stress of actual brutal floor nursing (yes there are exceptions) and want “prestige” in a field inherently lacking it. School is so far off from the real world I don’t even know where to begin.

So assuming this mousy, boring, school obsessed oddball somehow has triple Ds, a size zero waste, a cute button nose, beautiful white smile and gorgeous green eyes and she just couldnt resist my hairy scruff, muscular build and tattoos and my slam hammer just hit the right spot every single time, this would still depend heavily on where we were supposed to move.

Tbh the most flabbergasting part of “feminism” and PPD is the concept that people actually like their jobs. Work sucks fucking ass and if you actually like it you are more conservative than I’ll ever be. Y’all stole the left and it pisses me off. 👊🏻

ganso_bum · 2018-05-05T18:25:47+00:00

Assuming a PhD would bother marrying me when I'm not college educated or a PhD (big assumption):

Fine by me.

reluctantly_red · 2018-05-05T18:28:50+00:00

Sure -- provided it truly is a net benefit to the family. I actually figure it's a good idea to move every five years or so. Keeps life from getting stale.

IRL I had exactly the opposite problem. My ex-wife needed more education to avoid getting stuck career wise. I actively encouraged her to consider moving to finish her education. Instead she took the easy way out and found a richer Billy Beta (his name really is Bill which I find very ironic).

abaxeron · 2018-05-05T19:17:19+00:00

Move. My qualification is high enough to find a job in her new place.

BeyondTheLight · 2018-05-05T19:21:39+00:00

I would be fine with it aslong as things don't change too drastically. I am not sure if I would like to live the freaking desert for example, but generally I wouldn't exactly mind it. I can do my work from anywhere and can fly over whenever it is needed and most of it is passive income anyway, so it is an easy choice for me.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-05-05T19:22:38+00:00

Little too specific to relate to. But I’ve moved across the country a few times for fun to be closer to friends I met online, some of whom I dated later. It’s partially just an excuse to move, because I love travel tho. So yes, I’d happily move with a partner if it looked conceivable.

blackedoutfast · 2018-05-05T19:57:36+00:00

where is this new job located? if it's in a cool place that i actually want to live, then sure. if she's getting hired to work in Blumblefuck, North Dakota, then hell no.

honestly though i wouldn't marry a nurse in the first place bc they're all crazy.

1Badmunki · 2018-05-05T20:04:04+00:00

No, and dont recommend it, had a friend move out of country for his wifes once in a lifetime dream job, turns out his career is suffering greatly, to the tune of that he is underemployed. This is one reason why he is now in the process of getting a divorce.

If your guy, find a girl who follows you and not the other way around.

[deleted] · 2018-05-05T20:12:28+00:00

No.

I want a SAHW/M.

TheOneTrueMagnet · 2018-05-05T20:59:25+00:00

I wouldn't. She can work as a RN nearby while we have the amount of kids we want. Once they are more independent she can reenter the workforce and have it all. This has all the benefits:

You can have kids while it is the easiest and healthiest.
She can be around the kids for all their special moments.
She can gain experience on a part time basis until she has more time.
Once the kids are ready, she can fully enter the workforce when most women are leaving or getting ready to leave. She can get fast tracked into management.
We don't have to spend the majority of her after-tax salary on child care.

You have to realize that you are competing against single and childless women if you go the full career route. This will pressure you until you hit the breaking point and either live day to day on antidepressants or quit in your 30's or 40's in frustration. At that point, having kids will be hard, expensive, and very stressful.

Barely-moral · 2018-05-05T21:09:18+00:00

Sure, if she doesn't mind supporting me financially while I am a stay at home husband.

If she wants me to pay that price in order to be with her I expect her to pay me back.

She could pay me back in some other way but that is the first one that comes to my mind.

Million-Suns · 2018-05-05T21:20:44+00:00

Let’s say you’re married to a nurse

I see marriage as a scam, so that's probably not going to happen.

You fall in love and get married.

I can no longer fall in love, but let's play along for the sake of the question.

Do you move for her?

Why not? I have no particular attachment to any land. Sole condition is that we don't leave a good state for a shitty one.

But currently I see zero woman worth of that commitment.

Peter_Panned · 2018-05-05T22:15:38+00:00

Obviously there are a few factors to consider, like staying close to family/friends, whether or not we have kids, my own career path, etc., etc., and you wanna try and limit the stress in all those areas as much as possible. But, generally speaking, hell yeah I would! She’s clearly worked hard for it and it’s no small achievement. I’d expect her to love and support me in that if the roles were reversed; how can I tell her no just so I don’t have to leave my comfort zone?

[deleted] · 2018-05-06T00:24:01+00:00

Yes.

Five_Decades · 2018-05-06T02:43:18+00:00

Yes. My career isn't going that great. I'd love to be a trophy husband.

Dubslav_von_Chekem · 2018-05-06T16:27:43+00:00

Q4men: would you move across the country for your wife’s career?

Maybe, I would have to-

RN

No. Pfft. What?

Aufbruch · 2018-05-06T12:10:48+00:00

Leaning towards yes.....this is assuming I love her, and we're both committed to the relationship. And that she would be fine with me being a house-husband for a while until I could turn something up in the same area.
If my own career were highly specialized, like, to the point where prospects in the "new" area were slim to none....I might either insist on a hard "no", or insist that she accept house-husbandness as possibly permanent thing on my end.

[deleted] · 2018-05-08T07:32:40+00:00

if i already worked remote, which i do, and the place was awesome, sure.

mistercheeez-o____O- · 2018-05-08T23:03:57+00:00

150k? I'm twisting my dreads into pigtails! Fyna get wined a dined my G!

Seriously though, if I'm not tied to any business where I am, or I can work remotely and she doesn't mind me travelling, than I would definitely move with her. If that's not possible, I'd be willing to try a long distance relationship until we can both settle on a place that satisfies both carriers. I can't guarantee whether or not it would be successful, but since we're married I think that warrants an earnest effort.

Title	Q4men: would you move across the country for your wife’s career?
Author	coolgirl2021
Upvotes	8
Comments	155
Date	May 5, 2018 5:25 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8h8ysf/q4men_would_you_move_across_the_country_for_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-would-you-move-across-the-country-for-your.262602 https://theredarchive.com/post/262602

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