Confidence doesn't make a man more attractive. Masculinity does.

Salty-Bastard · 2017-11-02T05:08:04+00:00

My gay friend is confident and feminine, so no, I disagree. Confidence is attractive in anybody, not just masculine men.

Lolashaulke · 2017-11-02T05:34:52+00:00

To me, confidence implies ownership over who you are and what you do. The person who admits to being not at all book smart gets way more credit than the ones who bluff ineffectively about it. Confidence is about being okay and knowing who you are and, most importantly, being in charge and proactive in what you can change and learning to work with what you can't.

Its a touch nebulous, but I know it's tough to get a proper definition of what people see as confidence. This is mine. I don't think I'd call it masculinity in itself.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-11-02T05:55:02+00:00

I agree. Masculinity is attractiveness for men

IckyStickyPoo · 2017-11-02T05:14:01+00:00

You're 100% right. Confidence by itself isn't going to do it. It's part of the way there, but isn't helpful on its own.

I'm not masculine. I mean I like sports like most guys, and I'm not a pushover, but I have a small frame and am below average height. I'm nor the aggressive or the 'take-charge' type of man, I'm pretty quiet and laid back. To top all-that, I look 5-7 years younger than my age.

You don't need to be aggressive or take-charge. Aggressive can definitely be a huge turn-off. Quiet and laid back is fine and can be very attractive qualities. Looking younger isn't a problem unless you don't look masculine. The combo of looking younger and being shorter than average/having a smaller frame can definitely result in you looking less masculine.

But you are right about masculinity being attractive to women. Women absolutely like masculine men - who look and act masculine. He can be a quiet, respectful guy who likes working with tools/on cars - and will send girls crazy due to that masculinity vibe.

Butt-Factory · 2017-11-02T05:21:07+00:00

Do you consider confident women masculine?

tallwheel · 2017-11-02T06:05:11+00:00

Sorry, but this is a dumb thread.

Confidence is masculine.

And even if you disagree on that, we can all agree that confidence is attractive, and that having confidence in addition to other forms of masculinity is going to be a plus for a man's attractiveness.

Thus this thread is pointless.

/thread

Thread done.

Seriously, I have no idea why this thread was even made.

...

Mods, maybe you should just delete this thread. :) j/k

Merger-Arbitrage · 2017-11-02T06:42:20+00:00

Masculinity is subjective... that's about what I've gathered about it on PPD, at least. It often refers to strength/courage and assertiveness.

Confidence is not. Confidence is being sure of one's capabilities, which don't necessarily involve strength or assertiveness at all.

These are not the same thing.

Women can be confident too, unless you are around underachievers all day.

That, and your post is full of contradictions:

I have a small frame and am below average height.

The only attention I've ever gotten from women was because of my physical appearance (and even then, it's not outstanding).

Unless you have that godly jaw of Jawsus and eyes that makes panties disintegrate.

You need to get your story straight.

AnneEasternEurope · 2017-11-02T07:58:03+00:00

Depends on the woman. I personally like more fragile looking, a bit androgynous men with cute baby faces. Also, men with a bit too much self esteem turn me off. sometimes it reeks of jerkiness.

disposableboyfriend · 2017-11-02T08:02:30+00:00

To top all-that, I look 5-7 years younger than my age.

Grow a beard! :)

washington_breadstix · 2017-11-02T06:18:51+00:00

It's about owning your qualities and not letting other people's opinions shake your emotional state.

So yeah, I agree for the most part. Having confidence alone isn't necessarily attractive, but lacking it makes you unattractive. When people give you shit about your height or whatever, you have to be able to laugh it off and dish it back out.

Entropy-7 · 2017-11-02T07:46:56+00:00

You have to have something to be confident about, or at least being a good bullshitter in the short run. If you have nothing going for you, being "confident" will just be perceived as annoying or creepy. OTOH, a decent looking guy with some basic skills will drag himself down if he lacks confidence.

[deleted] · 2017-11-02T12:52:58+00:00

short guy. Fairly confident. Quirky. Witty. Fun. Decent shape these days.

Most common theme to any woman who actively expressed sexual interest : "I love how confident you are"

There is a difference between telling people you are confident, and presenting your life on your own terms, generating the feeling of excitement mixed with a strong comforting presence.

AutoModerator · 2017-11-02T04:58:25+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Maikowski2 · 2017-11-02T09:03:30+00:00

Masculinity is an umbrella term for various masculine features, confidence, assertiveness, non-agreeableness, courage, risk taking, calm, stoic, social etc.

It has very little to do with actual body. Though dressing one way or the other may give a positive impact on how people perceive you are first glance, that's why it is suggested to hit the gym. Not because it will get you laid, but because it will build your frame, a thing all women see first when they meet you. And combined with positive masculine features you get a final masculine look. That not only you look like a man, but act as a man too.

So it is not enough to have masculine frame to attract women or instill fear in other males. One has to also act like a man.

And building your frame is way easier than learning masculine tricks. That's why, I think, it is suggested to much in male forums. It is a first step every man must take.

Eastuss · 2017-11-02T09:25:14+00:00

I am small and chubby. I'm not an incel, why?

Because at some point in my life, I accepted that "just be confident" was garbage, and that what truly mattered is "just go for what you want". And what you want is sex, so you go for it, and you stop carrying about what others might think.

My virginity was guarded by the voice in my head that told me I didn't deserve it and that people might not want it with me. it was guarded by the voice that told me "you must respect women and hide your sexuality"

And yet I had sex with women who do not find me attractive. Confidence is over rated. Being masculine also having man's needs and going for it. Confidence is the consequence of respecting yourself, and by self respect I mean stop ignoring your needs and stop being lazy about it.

PracticedPrick · 2017-11-02T09:25:35+00:00

True of course and mentioned in another thread.

If youre confidently humble you’ll get nowhere.

It’s ego women crave. Not egotists but ego. And we struggle to admit that on here.

wtknight · 2017-11-02T11:16:58+00:00

Actually confidence + something a particular woman values is what makes a man attractive. Often it is masculinity, but sometimes it is not. Many women are attracted to artistic types who are not particularly masculine, for instance.

Transmigratory · 2017-11-02T12:12:18+00:00

Orrrrrrrrrrr..... you're not as confident as you think you are but somehow believed you're as confident as confident can be? :)

RockinSocksII · 2017-11-02T14:09:09+00:00

Personality and confidence refer to the same thing really : masculinity.

My boyfriend is by no means masculine. I'm still attracted to him. He's still confident.

mtgordon · 2017-11-02T16:50:02+00:00

In attractive men, confidence is sexy. In unattractive men, confidence is creepy. If a guy is unquestionably masculine but unattractive, confidence won't help. If a guy is a bit androgynous but kinda pretty, confidence will help.

oneprettycoolcat · 2017-11-02T20:05:05+00:00

It doesn't make a person attractive, but a lack of it sure can make you unattractive.

ThrowFader · 2017-11-03T01:09:22+00:00

Nailed it. Feminine girls like the masculine, and being masculine entails confidence.

Being confident however is not a trait exclusive to males, not does it cause one to be masculine.

loviathrowaway1994 · 2017-11-05T19:44:45+00:00

Disagree.

In high-school (bear with me) i overheard a group of girls talking about me: "loviathrowaway1994 isn't even that attractive but he walks like he's so attractive which makes him so much more attractive, no?"

Ouch. That hurt. But at the same time it reinforced my belief that you'd better walk with swagger whether you're ugly or not.

GotTigerBloodWinning · 2017-11-02T10:17:41+00:00

Correction- your looks, facial aesthetics, height, wallet and status only make you attractive.

Title	Confidence doesn't make a man more attractive. Masculinity does.
Author	AldorRod
Upvotes	25
Comments	135
Date	November 2, 2017 4:58 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7a9e8w/confidence_doesnt_make_a_man_more_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/confidence-doesnt-make-a-man-more-attractive.265075 https://theredarchive.com/post/265075

Comments