Q4ALL: Do you have many friends of the opposite sex?

pinkgoldrose · 2017-07-21T11:26:24+00:00

Having male friends helped my dating life. All my boyfriends came from my group of friends. They were my friends for a while and eventually we started dating. I don't know how I would have dated otherwise.

The group dynamic helped. I don't get crushes and I never seek out guys to date. What happened is I reached a point where several of my male friends wanted to date me and I felt the pressure to pick someone.

I didn't necessarily pick the hottest friend among those who wanted to date me. For instance, the first time, there was a guy who was considered the hot guy, but I thought he wouldn't be serious about me, then there was a guy that I thought was super handsome, but he was a proto red pill type, so there were aspects of his personality that didn't jibe with me. I chose a third guy who was less attractive than the other two and shorter, but who seemed to be sweet, romantic and loyal. I felt the most comfortable with him.

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-07-21T11:59:18+00:00

My closest friend has always been my sister.

When we moved out from our parents home we even lived together for quite some time until we both moved in together with our partners.

And well she's been the best for my dating life. She always gave me good dating and styling advice and had a big social circle that I could tap into.

wub1234 · 2017-07-21T10:59:45+00:00

No. The reason is that it just wasn't common for boys and girls / men and women to hang around with each other when I was younger. This is one unequivocally good thing about the younger generation, boys and girls do seem to mix far more than we did.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-07-21T14:17:56+00:00

I don't now but I did when I was going and single, it's the best way to meet people to date

sublimemongrel · 2017-07-21T11:58:05+00:00

Depends on what you mean by "friend." No, I don't have close, emotionally intimate friendships with men anymore now that I am married. I have lots of male "friends" that I work with or see a few times a year at networking conventions, we are not "friends" like college kids and young adults experience "friendship."

When I was a young adult myself I had many friendships with men which were closer and more emotionally intimate and that, and the men I met in my social group, is how I found every sex/LTR partner I've ever had.

goatismycopilot · 2017-07-21T12:28:02+00:00

I do not have any friends of the opposite sex that I regularly spend time with. I am friendly with a couple guys from work and we meet up at the gym once in a while. I am on friendly terms with all of my friend's husbands or partners. I also remain friendly with a few highschool/buddies on FB and 90% of them I know their partners really well. In one case I introduced my buddy who I knew really well to his wife who I hardly knew at all. She was just really cute and upbeat and I just liked her vibe so I twisted her arm to play on our rec league softball team in university and kept inviting her to things he would be at.

alreadyredschool · 2017-07-21T12:33:43+00:00

They always say that they will wingman me but then they just shake shake shake it all night and I have to do all the work alone.

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T12:38:15+00:00

My closest friends are all women, with one exception - a guy I've been friends with since we were toddlers. He's actually the one who introduced me to my fiance.

I have casual friendships with a couple other dudes, but I don't hang out with them alone like I would a female friend, or have emotionally intimate talks with them. Since my fiance and I met through our social circle, he's friends with these guys too.

I guess it has helped my dating life seeing as I wouldn't have met my SO if it hadn't been for my guy friends.

despisedlove2 · 2017-07-21T14:00:01+00:00

None. Women make crappy friends. They can't control their sex or emotional drives, or the desire to exploit men.

I would take a guy friend over an army of female friends any day.

Lyanina · 2017-07-21T10:43:23+00:00

No, but I don't have many friends in general. I tend to form few, close friendships.

I have about the same number of male friends as female. Most of the people I know have mixed-gender friend groups too, so when I hang out with a friend I might meet people of either gender. My boyfriend has plenty of female friends.

Has it helped, not made a difference or hindered your dating life?

Helped, since so far I've been becoming friends first then falling into a relationship instead of following a Date 1, Date 2 pattern.

crumblesnatch · 2017-07-21T10:57:07+00:00

My closest and dearest friend from about the age of 12 is a man. He's gay, though, so I think it sort of dodges around the real question you're asking.

In high school and college/uni, most of my friends were men. It certainly helped with dating, as I had access to their male friend groups, and dated a few of those friends. I didn't really figure out fashion/makeup until my twenties, but being the token girl in a room of guys definitely inflates your relative attractiveness.

I can count on one hand the amount of women I've considered my "friend" after the age of about 10. I was bullied pretty mercilessly in middle school, and most of the people into the same things I was (D&D, science fiction novels, computers) were guys. I've been blessed with all of the female neuroses, but have absolutely no tolerance for the drama and emotional playacting involved in being friends with girls/women - I found it exhausting.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-07-21T11:17:03+00:00

I used to. But in the past few years I really only find myself hanging out with other couples.

meh613 · 2017-07-21T12:57:29+00:00

I don't discriminate based on gender for my friendships. And I don't think it has hindered my dating life.

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T13:47:27+00:00

I have a close circle of friends. Many of them are men. Many of them are very gay (including my best friend of a decade). Nearly all of them met me after I was living with my husband and are close with him too. Before I was with my husband, most of my close friends were female. Being in a committed relationship took the pressure off any opposite sex platonic friendships- I think my husband made my friendships with men possible more so than male friendships impacted my dating life.

IIHotelYorba · 2017-07-21T13:37:39+00:00

Absolutely. Having lots of female friends is the difference maker in having a successful love life for most guys, and for so many reasons. In the most cynical terms after a long enough time a lot of them will want to fuck you. Outside of that they will help build a social circle of other girls, you can learn about female psychology.

Frankly most guys could skip nearly all steps of learning how to get laid and just make a bunch of female friends and theid have heir whole love life handled.

AutoModerator · 2017-07-21T10:15:31+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T10:16:48+00:00

Not really. I used to hang out with some guys, but we weren't really close friends. It didn't affect my dating life at all.

Thu Jan 1 0:00:00 1970 UTC

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T12:19:34+00:00

Yeah a few. Had a lot more when I was younger too.

Honestly don't think it made any difference to my dating life either way. Being friends with a woman teaches you nothing about dating really so it didn't help or hinder.

BPremium · 2017-07-21T12:28:17+00:00

I used to have way more, but they get married and now have married friend circles. Now we are like acquaintances. It also doesnt help that I hooked up with 2 of them, hubbys usually dont like their wives hanging out with dudes they previously fucked ( as a general rule of thumb )

HugMuffin · 2017-07-21T12:53:42+00:00

Plenty. Only one's ever asked me out though, and there's only a few I've ever been interested in.

MagicGainbow · 2017-07-21T12:58:02+00:00

A few but we aren't even close, more of acquaintances.

Bronzehawkattack · 2017-07-21T13:02:51+00:00

Nah. Whenever I do make friends I usually do through shared interests, but none of the main things I enjoy are "feminine" (Video Games, Anime, and Boxing) so i've never really become friends with anyone of the opposite sex.

Most interactions I have with women end at small talk or just as co-workers.

shoup88 · 2017-07-21T13:41:22+00:00

Yes, I have many male friends. My primary social circle is an even mix of men and women, some couples, some single. For the most part I only see these guys in group settings, but I do have a handful of friends I hang out with one on one.

I find it easier to make casual male friends due to shared interests, but my closest friends are female.

I don't think it's made much of a difference in my dating life.

WhiskersNT · 2017-07-21T14:11:56+00:00

I have female friends, and they've not helped (nor hindered) my dating life. I generally don't involve them in my dating life, really in any way other than to occasionally tell a funny story or relate my recent adventures or whatever

jonascf · 2017-07-21T14:56:41+00:00

The majority of my friends are of the opposite sex.

Has it helped or hindered in my dating life? I have no idea..

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-07-21T15:32:05+00:00

All my friends are opposite sex, it's been this way for just about all my life. I just share a lot more interests with males, and they are much easier to communicate with.

I have been fwb/casually dating one of them for many years, so I'd say it has a positive impact.

Love8Death · 2017-07-21T15:57:45+00:00

All of my female friends are either colleagues or my woman's friends.

I can't have female friends otherwise. Makes me want to cheat.

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T16:02:25+00:00

Nearly all my friends in high school were guys. I went to a women's college and made non-guy friends and then I started dating Mr. Arthur about a year after graduation.

But since then, nearly all my work friends have been guys, which makes sense, since my field is dominated by men. It's no big deal. They and their wives come over for dinner and they've all become friends with Mr. Arthur, as well. And their wives have become my friends. This reminds me that I need to email my former minion; we gave his daughter a giant stuffed AmStaff for her first birthday. They've got three kids now and their daughter is six and he will send me pictures every so often to prove that it is still their favorite toy.

damaskrose · 2017-07-21T18:13:15+00:00

I've tried, but I can only have male friends if they're happily married. If they're single, they tend to turn all 'white knight' and try to 'rescue' me from my husband. The delusion is strong.

miss-xaviette · 2017-07-21T18:34:44+00:00

Most of my friends are guys, I have a few female friends but I seem to get along better with guys in general, though that could just be circumstantial. Not sure how it's affected my dating life as I don't have a control :)

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T18:59:51+00:00

I have some female friends but not too many. Getting drunk and bullshitting with your homies is alot funner when there's no women around to ruin the vibe.

hasn't affected my dating life at all.

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T19:43:42+00:00

I have no friends of the opposite sex.

ByronicAsian · 2017-07-21T19:49:34+00:00

I think I have 2 acquaintances, but no friends of the opposite sex.

[deleted] · 2017-07-21T20:35:09+00:00

Absolutely. I wouldn't consider myself friend zoned tho because I'm not really interested in dating any of them. Most have been pretty good friends, one helped me take good pics for my online dating profile with a professional camera.

There's a couple of them I hookup with from time to time. But her bf isn't working second shift anymore so that stopped after 8 years. We still stay in touch tho

BookwormJane · 2017-07-21T23:42:29+00:00

Yes. Most of my friends are gay men.

They have helped make my life more complete, more fun, more joyful, more inspiring, just like good friends do.

Butt-Factory · 2017-07-22T04:54:17+00:00

Most of my closest and oldest friends are men, largely because I have three brothers that I'm very close with. When I was young, I felt more comfortable around boys but always had a few close girl friends as well. I've made a lot of wonderful women friends as an adult, so it's a bit more even now. It has never effected my dating life negatively.

[deleted] · 2017-07-22T07:54:36+00:00

I don't have many friends period. Having a baby while in college is a pretty isolating experience. :/

trail22 · 2017-07-23T20:29:07+00:00

Yes. It hasn't helped or hurt.

slavicgypsygirl · 2017-07-24T01:03:26+00:00

In my life there are only men I work with, am related to & date.

DivinePrince2 · 2017-07-28T07:06:16+00:00

I don't really have any friends. I'm not a people person.

Title	Q4ALL: Do you have many friends of the opposite sex?
Author	Dominic_Badguy
Upvotes	2
Comments	50
Date	July 21, 2017 10:15 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6on0pq/q4all_do_you_have_many_friends_of_the_opposite_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-do-you-have-many-friends-of-the-opposite-sex.266852 https://theredarchive.com/post/266852

Comments