The amount of sex that's available to a typical man is one topic where blue pillers and red pillers sharply disagree:
- Blue pill argument: "A typical single guy gets laid plenty. I have a bunch of friends who, when they're single, go out on the weekends and can find someone to sleep with pretty regularly. What's wrong with red pillers? Why can't they just do that?"
- Red pill argument: "The typical single guy lives in a sexual desert. He can't get laid reliably, and when he does it may be largely because he lowers his standards to the point where he'll sleep with just about anyone. He'll often go months without sex even if he goes out regularly. This is why guys come to TRP."
What evidence -- direct and indirect -- can we look at to better answer this question?
Direct evidence
Relying on surveys is always dicey, but it's a start. According to the CDC's 2011-2013 data on U.S. men:
- About 95% in the age 15-44 bracket have had 4 or fewer sexual partners in the last 12 months.
- The median lifetime partner count for the age 25-44 bracket is 6.6.
- About 80% in the age 15-44 bracket have had fewer than 14 lifetime partners.
The average age of first marriage for U.S. men is 29. In 2014 50.2% of Americans over the age of 16 were single In 2006 about 37% of American adults were single; men make up about half of this number.
Together, these figures paint a picture of vast swaths of the male population who A) are single for much of the first decade of their adult life and B) aren't able to "go out on the weekends and find someone to sleep with pretty regularly." Your typical guy is going to have around 5-6 years of single living between sexual maturity and marriage (if he gets married at all) and might only sleep with 4-5 women during that time (take the medium lifetime partner count of about 7 and subtract 2-3 for partners from serious relationships). Even at the upper end of regular he's looking at just 10-11 over that half decade. Keep in mind that when men lie on these surveys they tend to overreport their actual number of sexual partners.
There's no way to look at this without concluding that most single guys are typically going several months (or longer) without sex. Are they just not trying?
Indirect evidence
There are mountains of indirect evidence to suggest that single men are trying to get laid, but failing.
- There are over 20 million results when you search "men only want me for sex" on Google. Where would women be getting this idea, if men aren't hitting on them, or otherwise making it clear that they are interested in sex?
- Despite a significant stigma against online dating/dating apps, over 20% of men from 18-44 have used online dating or a dating app. If the majority of these users are single, the percentage of single men who use online dating/dating apps is closer to
40% 50%. If single men aren't trying to get laid, why would such a significant chunk of them be using these sites/apps despite the stigma? - Renton, Washington is the 8th-largest city in the 13th-largest U.S. state and has a population of right around 100,000. It has no notable metro area that greatly increases its effective population. It's not a mining town with wildly skewed gender ratios; the gender makeup was 49.5% male and 50.5% female as of the 2010 census. Yet even in a relatively small city you can find a large number of prostitutes fairly easily. Why would the typical single man provide a market for prostitutes -- even in small cities -- unless he's exhausted his other options?
Single men are very clearly trying to get laid; they're not going several months between sexual encounters by choice.
Conclusions
The red pill view of a typical man's sex life is far closer to reality than the blue pill view. Single guys want to get laid, and go out and try to get laid, but are unable to do so for long stretches at a time. There's a reason it's called "getting lucky."
Blue pillers hear red pillers talk about going months or even years without sex and assume they must be incels or losers or horribly out of shape. They therefore think TRP is only attractive to those sort of men. But blue pillers' assumption that only neckbeards and basement dwellers struggle to get laid has no real support; typical, normal, everyday guys aren't able to reliably get laid either. One reason TRP is attractive to the average guy is that it offers him solutions to this problem, but another huge reason is that TRP recognizes there is a problem in the first place. When the typical man hears TRP talk about how tough it is for a single guy to get laid, he hears a description that matches his experiences. When he hears blue pillers talk about guys getting laid all the time without much trouble, he wonders what planet they're from.
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