Father takes his 3 year old out on dates, with lavish dresses and exquisite food to show her how "women should be treated"

shoup88 · 2017-01-30T00:33:37+00:00

Eh, I think you're treating this as more nefarious than it is. I used to go out with my dad once a month for father-daughter time where we would go to the movies or go for lunch. It was a way for us to bond one on one. I don't understand why this is in the news - it's not unusual for a parent to do something special with a child, especially once there's a new baby in the picture and you want to assure them they're not being replaced.

It's also a little alarmist to cry "sexist!" on this, IMO. Look at the family photo - the son is too young to enjoy some one on one time in a public setting. And besides, fathers and sons often bond just the two of them, through sporting events, etc. I think it's a positive for fathers to similarly spend time with their daughters, as well.

I don't see where you're getting "ridiculously fancy and posh dates". Because they serve cheesecake? She's three years old, I doubt it's a Michelin starred restaurant. More parents should take their children to more "adult" restaurants, so they can learn early on what is and isn't appropriate. If you only take your kid to McDonalds, they'll never learn how to act in a less kid-oriented setting.

It's silly that this is considered noteworthy enough to debate, let alone make international news.

GridReXX · 2017-01-30T01:26:13+00:00

Here is the thing.

A girl's father should be a certain source of positive, NON-SEXUAL male attention for her. Other male relatives - brothers, cousins, uncles - may or may not be positive sources of non-sexual attention for her, but she may not have brothers or cousins or uncles. All girls have fathers.

It is very good for fathers to spend time with their daughters. They can go fishing; they can have tea parties; they can go to the supermarket; they can watch Star Wars; they can do all kinds of shit together. They can even go out to dinner together! They can go out to dinner and eat cheesecake every week! And he can even hold the door for her, because she is three, and can't really be expected to open the door herself!

But calling it some kind of date and creating a whole dress/purse/"I am teaching her how men should treat her" ritual around it is where it starts to go south. There are literally infinity number of ways for a father to show his daughter how she should be treated without engaging in this vaguely distasteful "date" crap.

Mr. Arthur and I have two daughters. I would frown a LOT if he ever decided to start doing this. Fortunately, he would rather chew off his own arm.

Electra_Cute · 2017-01-30T00:20:52+00:00

Is this behavior sexist or discriminatory(given the father is gender specific on this)?

It is harmful and almost seems like grooming

Does this sort of "made her feel like a princess" upbringing cause females to be entitled? Is it at all harmful or negative for a female growing up?

This is how narcissistic personality disorder may develop

What does, if at all, this upbringing have on a woman's interactions with men? Does it set her standards too high?

It will make her standards high and may damage her socially

This parenting style is extremely inappropriate

questioningwoman · 2017-01-30T00:30:15+00:00

In normal times like the 80s or 90s, it would be a bit much. With MGTOW and other communities growing I think it's a good thing. If the entire society hates her, she should love herself. If most men become abusive, it either leaves her with a super great guy or happily single. It sets her up to take on the backlash.

shoup88 · 2017-01-30T01:25:24+00:00

Like I said in a conversation the other day about moms doing this with their sons, I don't see why this has to be a "date." This is just a dad spending time with his daughter, which all parents should do. It's important to have one-on-one time with your kids, whether it's dad/daughter, mom/son, dad/son or mom/daughter. I don't see these dates as outrageously fancy or extravagant; they're probably going to Cheesecake Factory or something. When you're a kid that's a really big deal, but it's not the kind of thing that's going to turn you into an entitled brat as an adult.

So basically, it's kind of annoying to me to call these outings "dates," because to me that's needlessly glorifying and sexualizing something that should just be a basic expectation of any parent (spending time with your kid.) But in and of itself nothing they're doing strikes me as outrageous.

[deleted] · 2017-01-30T00:38:05+00:00

So in short, a father is taking his 3 year old on ridiculously fancy and posh dates to show her how women should be treated.

i didn't watch the video so maybe i missed it, but where is it mentioned that these are way fancy and posh? most of it sounds like a special outing, but otherwise fairly normal. is she picking out a new dress every time, or just selecting one she already owns? holding the door is a pretty common courtesy from human to human, as well; i don't see this as outrageously extravagant.

Is this behavior sexist or discriminatory (given the father is gender specific on this)?

i think the idea that women deserve extra-special treatment from men merely for being women is sexist, yes. i think there was also a former 16-and-pregnant star who took her son out to teach him the same lessons. i've personally always thought the parent mock-dates was a weird concept anyway.

Does this sort of "made her feel like a princess" upbringing cause females to be entitled? Is it at all harmful or negative for a female growing up?

i guess it depends on how much it's "fed" to her. a lot of this seems done primarily because she's a child; aside from holding the door and possibly paying for the date, the other things noted are things she'll be doing for herself in the future (picking out a dress and purse).

What does, if at all, this upbringing have on a woman's interactions with men? Does it set her standards too high?

again, i'm not sure it's setting standards too high, unless there's something in the video i missed. it even just says that she feels like a princess, not that they told her that she was one. i don't think expecting to have the door held is all that high of an expectation, but anticipating to be showered with gifts and free dinners as an adult is.

but, it seems that their intent is for her to have higher standards and know that she doesn't have to accept anything she deems substandard (which is something i think everyone should have and feel free to exercise, to some degree). so, it's probably an effective method of achieving that goal. she may hold on to it as she grows older; she may not, as she slowly enters the world and realizes what parts of that can be realistically achieved, and what parts aren't as likely to happen.

And lastly, do you believe girls, in a parenting setting, should get any special treatment purely for being girls?

not abnormally so, no. obviously boys and girls are different so some of their upbringing will be different, but i think it should largely be the same.

wub1234 · 2017-01-30T01:02:18+00:00

I think the news should report on actual news.

DashneDK2 · 2017-01-30T01:40:17+00:00

I have to tell you guys, all this American father-daughter dates/chastity ball/chastity ring/etc. things sound very odd and slightly creepy and incestuous to outsiders. But I guess there's nothing wrong with it. But why don't they just take their daughters out without all the date/sex-overtones?

Is this behavior sexist or discriminatory(given the father is gender specific on this)?

Who gives a shit? All this sexists this and discriminatory that is sjw-speak. You need to free yourself from this mindset.

Does this sort of "made her feel like a princess" upbringing cause females to be entitled? Is it at all harmful or negative for a female growing up?

And by female, you mean the girl? Probably not. Humans are endlessly plastic, and they're just having a good time.

What does, if at all, this upbringing have on a woman's interactions with men? Does it set her standards too high?

Probably won't have much influence. Dads aren't boyfriends. If anything, she's going to go harder for the college dropout loser bf when she goes teenage-rebellion.

washington_breadstix · 2017-01-30T01:07:16+00:00

What the fuck. When I read the title, I thought you meant that a single father is going on dates with grown women and bringing his child along (because he can't find a babysitter or something).

wombatinaburrow · 2017-01-30T06:26:12+00:00

Lmao - my husband used to take our daughters out for a babyccino and window shopping along the high street when they were little. They loved it; as did he, and now they have a really strong bond. Our boys weren't as keen on the cafe and shopping scene; so I took them for a ride on the miniature railway and an ice cream.

ZombieWifeFoCo · 2017-01-30T06:47:32+00:00

I guess it's up to the parent here. If the father is being respectful, good. She needs to see what that looks like. (Though the daughter will likely get more from watching how her father treats her mother and modeling that relationship, IMHO.)

Some women enjoy being treated that way. Some do not. If you are a men who likes that kind of woman, well, there you go. If you prefer something different, then seek that.

BubbleAndSqueakk · 2017-01-30T09:40:33+00:00

I think calling these outings "dates" implies a romantic undertone that is inappropriate for a parent-child relationship.

It also perpetuates gender roles and "damsel in distress" behaviour. Women like to be treated well, but so do men. I don't want my daughters to be raised thinking that they need men to open doors for them or pay for their food. Opening doors for others is considerate behaviour and should be practiced by everyone.

[deleted] · 2017-01-30T10:16:51+00:00

Intended lesson aside, what is fancy and posh about this? Unless I'm missing something, the kid picks out a dress and goes to fucking Cheesecake Factory (or whatever) with her dad. A grown man splitting a $3.50 slice of cake with his toddler isn't exactly the height of decadence. It's a very reasonable parent/child "date."

Archwinger · 2017-01-30T17:03:29+00:00

Women hate this because Dad is possibly grooming his daughter to fuck losers.

Dad is teaching his daughter to expect men to be please-the-princess beta schlubs. That dates are supposed to be with guys who hold the door, pull her chair out, and treat her to meals.

She's going to grow up looking for that in men and if his evil grooming works, she's going going to miss out on a lot of vital sexual experiences in college when she restricts her self to traditional dating. Teaching a girl to seek traditional dates instead of fun casual sex is going to deprive her.

She's going to end up meeting and marrying an average Joe who treats her okay, and be unhappily married to him, but not sexually attracted. She will have routine duty sex with him, pop out a few kids, and live a mediocre life. And it's all because Daddy took her out at age 3 and groomed her to expect traditional date behavior.

Soycrates · 2017-01-30T00:26:29+00:00

This kind of behaviour wouldn't be so troublesome if it wasn't described as dates. Saying "once a month I take my child out and treat them to a really great day!" would make him sound like an awesome dad. But the way it's phrased sounds more like he's conditioning his daughter.

I think you should be more concerned about how it's creepy that her dad is basically doing what a guy on a date might do with her in the future - that's some psychological fuckery right there - than whether or not it "causes females to be entitled". If your dad is cool and takes you out on fun little adventures it doesn't make you entitled. It makes you happy. If your dad is fucking creepy and grooms you for future men, it doesn't make you entitled, it gives you serious problems.

PS. Women. Women.

"Fema-" WOMEN.

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EchoZeroEleven · 2017-01-30T02:12:17+00:00

Probably not nefarious in any sort of way,

Maybe she'll be spoiled brat for a bit. I wouldn't think it's major.

Edit:

The fact he called it a date is a little strange. At 3 years of age, she's not likely to comprehend what she's being taught.

youleftme · 2017-01-30T02:48:22+00:00

Is this behavior sexist or discriminatory(given the father is gender specific on this)?

Not necessarily, I don't think. It can definitely be a little scornful towards men, since he's setting such a high standard for men for a child that is perfectly capable of having her own standards.

Does this sort of "made her feel like a princess" upbringing cause females to be entitled? Is it at all harmful or negative for a female growing up?

In a relationship, sure, it can be about making the girl feel like a princess. The thing is, you shouldn't treat someone like a princess if they aren't going to treat you like a prince. Relationships are about loving each other, not sucking up and catering to the other person.

What does, if at all, this upbringing have on a woman's interactions with men? Does it set her standards too high?

It depends on the girl. She could learn, depending on how her father acts, that she needs to put something into the relationship, too. Then again, she can also learn that she has to be catered to and could end up cucking a bunch of resentful guys.

And lastly, do you believe girls, in a parenting setting, should get any special treatment purely for being girls?

I mean, boys and girls may have different types of care, but not necessarily does a little girl have to be treated with more care than a little boy.

despisedlove2 · 2017-01-30T03:39:01+00:00

I am going to pass on the questions, but that sounds like a pretty irresponsible way to raise a girl. Her entitlement mentality is only going to get worse with time.

Also, shouldn't he (3 years old is too young for this) be perhaps teaching her about boys, and the way the disgusting PUAs operate? Otherwise, he is just raising her to be a prime target for a rich PUA.

Further, he should be saving the money (assuming he is saving enough for her college). If he ends up on the wrong end of a divorce rape (which he has a roughly 50% chance of), he is going to need all the money he could get. And this very cute tradition is going to be used against him in family court as evidence of him being a pedophile.

Men need to be a bit smarter about these things.

tiposk · 2017-01-30T04:25:41+00:00

I generally don't think much of these kind of stories as they're exaggerated for the sake of it, but taking the story at face value for the sake of it...

Is this behavior sexist or discriminatory(given the father is gender specific on this)?

Yes. I don't believe in entitlements based on gender. Telling your kids that they deserve certain things from others because others are males/females is sexist. I would never cook, clean and submit to my boy to show him how women must treat men, therefore, I wouldn't tell my daughter that she deserves to be treated like a princess and be taken to dinners.

Does this sort of "made her feel like a princess" upbringing cause females to be entitled? Is it at all harmful or negative for a female growing up?

I think it could be harmful if the female learns that men are there to pamper her.

What does, if at all, this upbringing have on a woman's interactions with men? Does it set her standards too high?

Yes.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for women being treated with respect and being free from abuse. I see nothing bad if a woman expects that a guy doesn't treat her like an object or that he's not rude to her. However, you can be cherished and treated with respect without having doors opened for you and your ground worship in the same way that you can respect a guy without cooking for him like a fucking maid.

Moreover, a three year old won't understand and remember any of these. The best way to ensure that your daughter will have good relationships is to provide a healthy home environment and to not be overly strict.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2017-01-30T07:36:40+00:00

Yes, this is sexist behavior. Its treating children differently on the basis of sex. Its teaching a young lady that she is owed chivalry from men just because of gender. This is sexism by definition.
Princess Culture absolutely encourages female entitlement and ridiculously high standards. To be fair, everyone is entitled to have whatever standards they want (men too!) for an intimate partner, but raising young girls who really want to get married on a diet of "just you wait and relax and eventually Prince Chad Charming Thundercock IV will marry you because you're special and I love you" is just as much a recipe for disappointment as telling boys that because they're nice and caring, eventually they will find a wonderful woman who loves them deeply. If you want to encourage women to develop as independent human beings, teaching them that they should expect men to do things for them just because they are women is naturally going to undermine this.
See above

There should be no special treatment for girls (on the basis of them simply being girls). The old gender role system gave both sexes obligations, and these obligations imposed duties on the other sex. We're currently teaching women that they have no duties to men, but that men have obligations towards them; something for nothing, essentially.

I don't want to go back to the old traditional system. I want to free men from those obligations; I certainly don't want to impose any obligations on any woman, but I'm not going to have them impose any obligations on me.

And no, the cheesecake wasn't extravagant. Cheesecake is a wonderful thing and I happen to love it. A father buying a daughter cheesecake doesn't teach anything apart from possibly some bad eating habits (thankfully, there's low carb cheesecake!). But a father teaching a daughter that men just because they're men have a duty to buy her stuff just because she's a woman is indeed sexist.

This little girl is being dosed up with Toxic Femininity.

exit_sandman · 2017-01-30T09:39:10+00:00

Isn't that the gender-flipped version of that story of the single mom who indoctrinated her preschool son into nice guy-behavior we had here last year?

ThirdEyeSqueegeed · 2017-01-30T10:31:53+00:00

Meh, taking her out and treating her well isn't going to be the issue. Most girls who are fucked up are the ones who don't have a dad, or whose dad doesn't give a shit about her, so she ends up with no standards of behaviour.

So long as he teaches her good manners and to treat others with respect it won't be a problem. I'd prefer this to teaching your daughter that it's okay to spread your legs to any Chad that comes knocking. Most Chads won't want to take his daughter out for dinners and treat her well so she'll end up with a decent beta, no doubt.

The real test is what he and his wife are going to do with their son. Will they raise him to be a beta simp or will they teach him not to take any shit from girls and only treat the good ones well? That's going to be the true test.

The really disturbing thing is that the mother filmed it and put it on facebook. Why go public with it unless you're looking for group approval?

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-01-30T10:36:05+00:00

creepy, obviously

DicklessAlpha · 2017-01-30T11:24:11+00:00

Social retards can be safely ignored.

[deleted] · 2017-01-30T14:18:51+00:00

I mean all we see is this one side of what happens in a family.

Growing up my dad would make sure he spent one on one time with myself and my sister. Just paying attention to us. Sometimes we went out to lunch or dinner, sometimes to a movie, sometimes a hike. He held doors opened for us and just made it special.

It was a good thing to have that relationship with my dad - it made navigating somethings during my teen years easier.

We also saw my mom get up at 5am to make him lunch for work. She helped us bake cakes and biscuits for him. We watched how she cooked things like cauliflower and cheese sauce for supper - which she hated and he loved.

Basically what i am saying that a nice thing done for a little girl by her father does not constitute the WHOLE of her upbringing and there is nothing to say she wont get an example on how to treat her man well from her mom one day.

THIS IS WHY FACEBOOK IS A SCOURGE UPON HUMANITY!

[deleted] · 2017-01-30T14:49:07+00:00

So this is Going for the Orange Julius in real life?

rulenumber303 · 2017-01-30T16:10:45+00:00

Maybe, but well within parental rights. Parents raise children in a variety of different ways and that is one of our strengths as a species.
I wouldn't give a shit if it does. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy, the reality of the SMP is that people have to deal with what they find when they get out there.
Hard to tell. Maybe it will make her prefer provider type behavior, maybe not. Children don't always take away from their childhood experiences what you want them to.

I believe that if you're effectively parenting then the individual qualities of your child and your thoughts about their probable future when they grow up and have the adult version of those qualities will be the deciding force behind how you raise your child. If I had a daughter whose life I thought would be improved by those sorts of experiences then I'd ask her father to provide those experiences.

brewmastermonk · 2017-01-30T00:23:12+00:00

That's creepy as fuck and setting her up for failure. She's gonna sign up for a sugar baby site as soon as she hits 18.

prodigy2throw · 2017-01-30T00:42:59+00:00

That girls gonna grow up to be really damaged

Title	Father takes his 3 year old out on dates, with lavish dresses and exquisite food to show her how "women should be treated"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	122
Date	January 30, 2017 12:15 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5qx9ob/father_takes_his_3_year_old_out_on_dates_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/father-takes-his-3-year-old-out-on-dates-with.270335 https://theredarchive.com/post/270335

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