When women say they don't want kids?

Zoidbergluver · 2017-01-03T14:48:42+00:00

I went on a medical mission trip to Guatemala a couple years ago, and most women there had ~8 kids. It's a very catholic and poor country. There's is no access to birth control or education about sex.

I would say about half of all the women I saw, aged 16-40, would ask about how to prevent pregnancy. Several women asked for surgical sterilization and for us to not tell their husbands. This is not new or unique to developed nations. Pregnancy is extremely hard on your body, especially in countries with poor health care. Something like 20% of women die from complications of pregnancy or child birth. Many women develop permanent conditions like diabetes.

Feminism or government is not to blame, these women had never even heard of feminism. They simply did not want to have babies because of how taxing it was to their bodies, their current families, their financial situation, etc. Birth control has only been legal in the USA since like ~1965. The option to not have children is still fairly new. And it's not just women! Many men don't want kids either, they are an emotional and financial burden.

Tldr: it has nothing to do with feminism or the government. Having kids is dangerous and expensive.

shogunofsarcasm · 2017-01-03T14:41:41+00:00

I'm a guy but I don't want kids right now because i have a lot of shit i want to get done, and when you get a child it's impossible to continue your current lifestyle, one that i'm not finished with yet.

I assume that the same applies for women.

Sure, there are some women i'd say that to because they would make fucking horrible mothers, and i'm sure some women d the same, but the biggest factor is simply because i want to live my own life first.

wub1234 · 2017-01-03T14:43:13+00:00

I remember reading somewhere when studying the red pill that when a woman says she doesn't want kids often she really just means with you. Is this true?

No, it's complete rubbish.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-01-03T15:58:24+00:00

Naturally Feminism and the State are largely to blame

Why is that a natural conclusion? Maybe some women don't want kids because they want to do what they want to do and kids don't fit into that.

Isn't it better for women who don't want kids not to have them?

how often is it genuine and how often is it specific to males perceived as unworthy?

I'd say if a woman says she doesn't want kids that it is pretty genuine.

dakru · 2017-01-03T14:59:16+00:00

I remember reading somewhere when studying the red pill that when a woman says she doesn't want kids often she really just means with you. Is this true?

It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so I doubt that it would be the norm.

It would require that a woman be in a relationship that's serious enough for the talk of kids to come up (so definitely not a casual sex arrangement), but she wants kids with another man instead of the man she's with (rather than just not wanting kids at all). Why would she get into such a serious relationship with a guy if she doesn't consider him good enough? Presumably that means she plans to leave him for a man who is good enough to have kids with, so why be in this relationship in the first place? I guess it's possible that the guy she wants is out of her league and she's going to try to cheat, have that man's child, and get her current partner to raise it as his own (paternity fraud happens at rates of 1-5%, so not too common but not negligible either), but if that was her plan then she wouldn't tell her current partner she doesn't want kids.

SmurfESmurferson · 2017-01-03T15:29:38+00:00

Not everything is a test.

I don't want kids, and there was nothing anyone could have done to change that. My husband also doesn't want kids.

goatismycopilot · 2017-01-03T14:59:04+00:00

What social engineering by feminism and the state cause women to not want children?

lollygagyo · 2017-01-03T14:37:05+00:00

When I don't want kids with a certain man, I say, "I don't want to have your kids, sorry!" -- It's blunt, but it's fair. If a guy's raised that topic and he seems like he's keen on having children, I have to let him know that having kids with him is just not something I will ever consider. It's only fair.

I have fairly strong maternal instincts, so do want kids (in a hypothetical way, tho). If I did make a declaration that I didn't want kids, I'd expect people to take me at face value.

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T19:02:21+00:00

it's going to just ruin their bodies

TRP says stuff like this all the time. That a woman who has given birth will never look as good as one who has not. And it is true, childbirth changes your body forever.

I really want to have biological children, but I am absolutely terrified of pregnancy and childbirth. Not because it will ruin my body (though I don't love the thought of that either), but because of the actual process of labor and the hormones, mood swings, etc.

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-01-03T16:39:03+00:00

In my "I don't want kids" days it mostly just came down to doubting whether I was fit to raise children.

I've come around on having them but it's mostly for pragmatic reasons (namely, I don't want to be lonely in middle/old age.) I still don't have the yearning for a child like a lot of my friends describe, I can't relate to that at all. And I don't think I'd be heartbroken if it never happened. Which makes me question if it's even ethical to have kids when I feel that way, which makes me lean back toward maybe not wanting them...it's complicated.

I'm not anti-kid though. I love kids, I work with kids. I adore my boyfriend's nieces and nephews. I just have a lot of doubts in my own parental fitness and I don't think I have much motherly instinct.

nemma88 · 2017-01-03T17:20:25+00:00

Err. This isn't always going to be the case. One of my female friends doesn't want kids (ever). When she was single or with the love of her life, her chad whatever. Maybe it was being raised in a single father house hold that was naturally to blame....

Who it was didn't change her mind on Children.

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-01-03T15:16:41+00:00

I can tell you as a man who does not want children that most women who claim to share that preference tend to change their minds down the line. I know that's one of those stereotypes or whatever but unfortunately it has been true from my experience.

This happened with all my ex's. Hell there's currently this girl I work with who says she hates kids but when she sees like baby clothes or whatever she talks about how cute it is, and I'd bet you a grand she'll have kids a few years in the future.

Now if women are indeed only telling men they consider "unworthy" that they don't want kids, I wanna know how to send out those signals. You'd figure I'd be doing that already, I mean I'm not closed off about my drug use or mental illness for example, but girls still break up with me cuz I don't want kids with them. Do I literally have to be a convict or some shit before this "unworthiness" for kids kicks in? How do you activate it? Tell me the secret code ladies!

(In case it isn't clear already, I think this idea is BS lol. But I do also think most women seem to actually want kids even if they claim otherwise. Makes having one of those fancy DINK lifestyles very difficult dammit.)

mistresswhat · 2017-01-03T21:27:11+00:00

I've noticed TRP has this weird thing about not believing that women are capable of actually changing our minds about anything. Like they literally can't wrap their heads around it and will go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to avoid admitting that it's completely possible for a woman to want one thing and later want a different thing. This is just more of that.

And people do change their minds about kids pretty often. My mother didn't want kids at all until she was thirty, and ended up going through expensive fertility treatments to achieve that goal. Doesn't mean she was lying about not wanting kids in the first place. It means she changed her mind, as humans often do.

Typical TRP: never assume the totally normal and obvious thing when you can assign a sneaky motive to a lady.

Electra_Cute · 2017-01-03T14:47:44+00:00

Most women want children, child birth has been declining, these are facts.

http://time.com/3774620/more-women-not-having-kids/

Nearly half of women between the ages of 15 and 44 did not have kids in 2014, up from 46.5% in 2012 to 47.6% in 2014, according to new data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey. The figure is the highest percentage since the Census Bureau started measuring it in 1976.

http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/4e450c056bb3f7b743000049/chart.jpg

The growing tolerance for childlessness and contraception is another factor to be considered.

That being said overall I've noticed young women nowadays seem to have a strong anti-child sentiment it's going to just ruin their bodies and no man is worth having their spawn gestated

I think it is extremely abnormal women want to have children at young ages and will actively try. Pregnancy just happens by mistake unplanned and they go with it, now they do not have to go with it because of abortion.

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Alth12 · 2017-01-03T15:32:11+00:00

I'd say it's a consequence of several factors. Less people are getting married, more people are getting divorced. Relationships are a lot less stable than in the past and most people want emotional as well as financial security before they have children, and because that is harder to come by less people want children.

wtknight · 2017-01-03T15:37:38+00:00

Sometimes its genuine, sometimes it isn't. I don't think it has anything to do with women perceiving some men as unworthy, though. Usually by the time the discussion in a relationship starts pertaining to the possibility of future children, both partners are seeing each other as potentially worthy.

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T17:17:29+00:00

she doesn't want kids
she does want kids, and knows, like saying N count, that it will scare you

Easiest way to tell the difference, get her pregnant. If she goes to the hospital without telling you, or asking you for logistical help (money, ride etc) then it's 1. If she is gauging your reaction, then it's 2.

Between 30 and 35, you can usually assume 2 will apply, so be doubly careful.

You can argue that poor women are stupid and cant afford condoms/BC. women from north america haven't had that issue in a century. With the exception of some rural southern fundies roadblocks (distance, cost etc) it's 100% in her court.

This is why Rollos iron rule

Always be in control of the birth control.

Otherwise, you're letting a girl who hasn't been properly vetted have complete autonomy over your future.

prodigy2throw · 2017-01-03T17:57:33+00:00

They just haven't found the right man to impregnate her yet. Go on r/childfree and you can see the cognitive dissonance is real

the_calibre_cat · 2017-01-03T18:04:53+00:00

Nah. Depends. Some women, the exceeding minority in my opinion, legitimately don't want kids and won't change on that. The number of women who say they don't want kids is drastically more than that, and that number tends to decrease the older they get and when they're in a relationship.

Women aren't dumb. They know guys are generally averse to kids. We want kids, we just don't want the $200,000 cost to raise a kid to the age of 18 and dealing with being responsible for a new, inexperienced human being running around and touching hot stove burners and shit.

Homewreckers have the best sexual strategy - carry on your genetic legacy while some other S.O.B. thoughtlessly burdens himself with the hard stuff.

leyxk · 2017-01-03T18:18:42+00:00

Most women (and men for that matter) don't want kids because kids consume energy, money, time, love. At some point most people end up having kids, because of variety of reasons (i'd say both biological- we're programmed to want offspring, or emotional- you think kid is gonna either save your marriage or make you happy or whatever). But for some people kids aren't what would make them happy, and they control their biological urges well. So they end up not having them and invest their time and money into something else. Both men and women are affected by social engineering. Thinking that's it's just women who are brainwashed into not having kids is dumb. They were given free choice. It just proves that more and more people want to pursue happiness that doesn't include kids. Not to mention kids are freaking expensive and some people are more rational than those leeches with 5+kids that live on social welfare.

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T19:05:41+00:00

I never believe them because every single woman I have ever known IRL eventually wanted to have kids.

Even if she really doesn't want to have kids at that moment, I will assume that she will change her mind a few years later.

I bet there are exceptions, but they are so few that it doesn't matter.

rulenumber303 · 2017-01-03T19:43:23+00:00

"I remember reading somewhere when studying the red pill that when a woman says she doesn't want kids often she really just means with you. Is this true?"

Occasionally, in an attenuated sort of way. Sometimes a person decides they don't want kids because it is all too much, too impossible, they don't feel supported enough, not enough money, etc. If you're part of why it is impossible... you lose your job all the time, you have a temper, you're unreliable, you're a drug addict, you're a spendthrift and in debt, you're so socially incompetent the kids would grow up weird and messed up just from being raised in a house with you... then yeah sure she doesn't want them with you therefore she doesn't want them at all... but should the relationship with you end she may change her mind. She was giving up on the idea of kids to be with a man who would make an unfit father.

But there are also large numbers of women who just don't want kids no way no how, not with you and not with anyone.

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T20:45:06+00:00

I remember reading somewhere when studying the red pill that when a woman says she doesn't want kids often she really just means with you. Is this true?

I don't see myself having kids for several reasons (reproductive disease, my personality, money) but this is true at least for me to a certain extent. I have been with someone who it would be my greatest honor to make a father. He was a beautiful person and any child would be lucky to have him as a dad.

I have been with a man I was very in the middle about having children, leaning towards no. I didn't see us parenting together.

And I have been with a woman that I would absolutely not have children with under any circumstances.

But how I see my ability to parent is very, very low on the list of things that are important to me and I don't think many people think the way I do. I think it's possible to love someone but not want to certain things with them for whatever reason it may be.

Superfluous_Toast · 2017-01-04T10:41:50+00:00

I don't want kids. I don't care if the man of my dreams steps fully formed from my imagination into the real world and begs them from me, it's not happening.

wombatinaburrow · 2017-01-04T11:54:01+00:00

I have 3 sisters. Two have no children, and are beyond the age of being likely to have them. They both have husbands, careers and don't want to curtail their freedom with having yo deal with babies and children. My other sister has one child, who was desperately wanted by her (now SAHP) husband, while my sister was back to making business calls in the recovery room. I have several kids. I'm no less a feminist than them; I just have different personal goals.

MosDaf · 2017-01-04T21:26:51+00:00

I just don't understand how a guy can't know this about a girl he's been in a relatively LTR with. I've had ltgfs that clearly never wanted kids--with anybody--and I've had gfs who wanted kids some day, but we didn't want them with each other, and some gfs that wanted kids but I didn't. Seriously, are people's relationships so messed up that they don't know what the other person actually wants with respect to one of the most important decisions of their lives??? How can this be?

dottywine · 2017-01-08T03:03:35+00:00

Hm, no. Having kids is a big deal for a woman even when you take the man out of the picture. A woman saying she doesn't want kids probably means she doesn't want kids.

Naturally Feminism and the State are largely to blame for the cultural shift and it still amazes me how easily women are effected by social engineering.

You say this as if anti-child is a bad thing...?

DashneDK2 · 2017-01-03T15:16:47+00:00

What good is a woman who don't want kids? For anything but sex and a bit of fun. No reason in the wold to ltr.

Title	When women say they don't want kids?
Author	KnightwriterI
Upvotes	1
Comments	148
Date	January 3, 2017 2:27 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5ls6bf/when_women_say_they_dont_want_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-women-say-they-dont-want-kids.270848 https://theredarchive.com/post/270848

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