Why are men mostly the perpetators of sexual harassment?

12112019 · 2020-09-28T12:54:47+00:00

Much higher sex drive, and the fact that women are much more sexually selective, so the percentage of men they would consider harassing is much smaller, also due to cultural reasons of expecting the man to be the pursuer.

SonicBackScratcher · 2020-09-28T13:15:05+00:00

Men are suppose to be the "aggressors" aka the approach.

So by default we are inclined to it more as it our genetic "job" to try to get into her pants.

Added harassment has way to big a window of what people think it is. It can be anything from saying "your dress is pretty" to "I will fire you and give you a bad review unless you suck my dick right now", depending on who you ask.

I've also been harassed and assaulted by women, but being I'm a man its not like something that bothered me or made me feel violated.

throwaway042994 · 2020-09-28T17:51:22+00:00

Why are men mostly the perpetators of sexual harassment?

This is called 'begging the question'.

Men are absolutely the perpetrators of overt sexual harrassment, because they're not worried about confrontation and/or they don't think authority will come down on them.

Women fear confrontation and falling out of favor with authority, so majority of sexual harassment from women comes in plausibly deniable ways, such as gossip and spreading rumors.

There's no way to know how much non-overt sexual harrassment women do, because it's mostly done in more subtle ways. But it's a lot.

surebegrandlike · 2020-09-28T13:08:38+00:00

Aside from the obvious reasons of hormones (testosterone), culture and male/female differences in how genders are raised (women should always be careful and men must be tough) I think another main reason men are mostly the perpetrators is due to how we’re built.

Serena Williams is the world number one in women’s tennis and she can only beat the men’s number 45 or something like that? A woman who trains in the gym everyday is still going to find it difficult or impossible to overpower an average guy so even if they did want to assault a man they would need to plan it and use drugs or something to subdue the man otherwise risk losing the fight. Biologically men have more explosive power due to differences in the muscle twitch fibres.

When you reverse the situation a man who wants to assault a woman has a pretty good chance of being able to overpower her using strength alone so in the heat of the moment there’s no real fear from the male party apart from being discovered by someone else who could stop him?

Basically women are weaker so assaulting a man carries more risk for the women in most circumstances so why would we put ourselves at such risk? (This is just my opinion)

akaean · 2020-09-28T13:18:42+00:00

Its an interesting question. One that honestly the posters here aren't really qualified to weigh in on in any sort of definitive sort of way. That said, I think we can still talk about factors which might contribute to this, culturally of course being more interesting than biology... because culturally we can make adjustments to make the world we live in a better place.

First, I would like to point out that on some level men are subconsciously trained to not take a woman's desires into consideration. If you look at popular fiction aimed at young adults typically the way romance is portrayed as male lead, and the course of the romance usually goes

rejection -> random acts of love and pursuit to show dedication-> realization of true love -> man gets girl

So this leads to a culturally reinforced belief that you can get a woman by continually pursuing them. It also serves to blur the line between harassment and spontaneous act of devotion to a woman who has already rejected them. When this is applied to the real world, it lends itself situations where a man is continually pursuing a girl who has explicitly told him no, and he won't leave her alone because he genuinely believes that she will come around. Except that isn't how it works, and she really just does want to be left alone.

This is something that is important to consider, and I think people need to be more conscious of what attitudes are being displayed on TV and movies and what messages are portrayed by that media. Just like having the only gay (or gay sounding) character in a film be evil is problematic in its messaging so too we should be more concerned with how movies message us about women and love.

Of course there are counter examples. Pretty in Pink for instance is reasonable for its messaging. However, ironically Duckie was originally going to get the girl... until test audiences hated it so much they had to rewrite it. But these generally are exceptions as opposed to a general rule.

I would couple this bad messaging about how love works with a toxic connection of value in men to their success with women. This is the mirror problem with linking a woman's value to her promiscuity. Its quite common to see, especially with the rising popularity of people using "incel" or "virgin" as insults to men they deem as less manly or as undesirable.

you [enjoy thing I don't like] you must be unsuccessful with women, you incel!

This is something that you will see on all sides of the spectrum. Honestly, I really agree with the message of this comic, explaining why the coupling of concepts like neckbeard or virgin or incel together as an insult is problematic. The truth is, whether or not you like a thing and whether or not you are successful with women and whether or not you are valuable as a person should not be linked. Just as how many men a woman has slept with does not make her less valuable as a person.

But my personal beliefs and advocacy aside, that doesn't change the fact that there is a societal stigma against both "slut" women, and "virgin" males. This means that for young men, there can very well be an intense pressure to have sex, not only because they want to, but because their entire self worth and their worth in the eyes of their friends is tied to it. That is a lot of pressure. If they fail, their friends will think they aren't "high value", or worse... will pity them. Each rejection is seen as evidence that they don't have value or worth as a human... causing even more desperation. We all know the adage. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Except just once isn't enough, is it? Even men who have had sex or were sexually "successful" in the past can have an identity crisis around their self worth if they so much as have a "dry spell". Its fucked.

Don't get me wrong, I think there are probably biological differences here as well in terms of sex drive. But I don't have the credentials to get into that. I also don't think those questions are interesting as there isn't much we can advocate for to change human biology unless you go really far down into the Nazi eugenics hole... which is a horrible idea. I do sincerely believe that improving messages in media to take women's choices seriously and decoupling sexual success with value for both men and women will make our society a better place for all of us to live in.

Sonic_The_Hamster · 2020-09-28T13:10:59+00:00

It's simply to do with gender stereotypes. That's all it is. We have gone through this era of women breaking free from their gender stereotype and being what she wants, and yet these very same women and many others around them still want men to take care of them, still want a man to pay for the date, still expect him to do the asking out.

Men are told that they need to open up more and talk about their problems and their feelings and yet are given nowhere to do it or are shut down. They act more gentle and understanding and are told to man up by the very women that want them to change. They are constantly told what makes a real man but all of that is conflicting.

And finally they're is no longer any space that is safe for men to just be men, to spend time together and just talk about men things.

This literally creates a tonne of confused Individuals that have no idea what it is they are supposed to be or do and with modern dating the way it is they tend to reach out at inappropriate moments.

And I think that's what it really is, inappropriate, not sexual assault or harassment, it's just inappropriate. BTW the big difference between flirting and sexual harassment is looks.

What I'm saying is that we've changed the rules of the game but we still issue the old set to men and expect all of them to understand and keep up, and that's just not going to be the case, and mistake will be made. It's working out what are stupid mistakes and what is actual harassment.

Final note : sexual assault, actual assault, is a thing and involves touching someone against their will. Sexual harassment is done over time and has multiple incidents its not one guy doing one inappropriate thing. I say this because I know it only takes one person not being able to understand nuance to literally have me classed as something I'm not.

JohnDoe9564 · 2020-09-28T13:01:03+00:00

"Harassment" has now become a nebulous term.

The definition changes every 3 months it seems.

2020-09-28T13:54:03+00:00

Because it isn't harassment if it's wanted. Most men are starved for attention, so what women would deem harassment, men would qualify it as a warm bright light in a cold dark cave.

the_purring_jew · 2020-09-28T12:52:56+00:00

because "Sexual harrassment" is a mentally ill misframing of the reality of the male approach

Joey_Lopez · 2020-09-28T13:41:36+00:00

Well it's insane how many people today consider approaching someone harassment. Men just have a higher sex drive and need to go up and make a move. It's how men get sex. Also most men get shot down most of the time so they have to make a lot of approaches to get more sex.

If men don't make approaches it'll be the end of mankind. Because God knows females will never take the initiative so it's up to the men.

taapy234 · 2020-09-28T13:42:06+00:00

Because men are the pursuers and women are the choosers.

Men have to keep their heads straight and play the number's game. This means, they have to repeatedly put themselves out there for women to judge for a better chance at getting a GF or a FWB or a hookup.

And men putting too much effort or be desperate tend to come across as harassers.

There very few female sexual harassers because they don't have to pursue like men do.

Lana_Del_Noire · 2020-09-28T15:08:53+00:00

Because male nature is rape culture. Civilization chilled them out but at the end of the day, tehy're still animals.

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-09-28T14:01:36+00:00

[removed]

2020-09-28T14:01:57+00:00

Men have a higher threshold and don’t view unwelcome advances in the same way women do. Simply put, in the same set of circumstances, men wouldn’t feel harassed where a woman would (generally speaking). It usually has to be overt and aggressive for a man to even think of it as an unwelcome advance. If men were as sensitive to harassment as women, it would be reported much more frequently. There would probably still be a large disparity as men are the more sexually aggressive sex. I recall seeing a mainstream tv program starring well known female actress where she walks up to a strange man and starts caressing his arm muscles. I thought to myself, if a man had done the same thing, even in the context of a tv show, it’d come off as super pervy. In real life, you’d be lucky if the cops weren’t called.

abaxeron · 2020-09-28T14:05:15+00:00

That tweet is an anecdote; I had several moments from my childhood and teenage years when a random woman approached me for some made-up reason and touched me without consent; as a true gentleman, I did not kill them then and there; as not-an-idiot, I didn't try to sue them.

Short answer: because fucks in the government defined "harassment" in line with female moral imperative. Same as they defined murder not to include more than half a million deliberately killed unborn (in the US alone) into the statistic; otherwise women would constitute 95+% of murderers.

Story time, taken from /r/MGTOW :

Had the ‘Sexual Harassment’ talk at a new job today

I just started a new job as an upper manager at a new office for an established company on Monday. The type of role where I don’t report to anyone in my local office, only executive level people at corporate, and have a dozen people reporting directly to me with 'Lead’ and 'Senior’ in their titles, each with dozens of people reporting to them.

Today was my 'HR onboarding’ meeting, where we went over procedure and policies surrounding a variety of issues including 'inclusivity’ and 'sexual harrassment’.

When we got to the part about 'zero tolerance’ for sexual harrassment, and it being a fireable offense on the first occurrence, I asked the HR director to clarify what constituted 'sexual harrassment’ under the company policy.

She listed everything for unwanted physical contact, to inappropriate comments or language of a sexual nature, all the way to 'unwanted sexual advances’, and even prolonged or uncomfortable EYE CONTACT. My jaw just dropped and the conversation went something like this (though I’m condensing and paraphrasing of course):

Me: 'How on earth will you ever confirm or disconfirm the veracity of such an accusation?’

Her: ’ We would of course try to investigate each claim as best we can, but it would ultimately come down to believing that the accuser is 'correct’ in their interpretation of the events’

Me: 'But isn’t that entirely subjective to how the accuser feels, and not the actual intentions of the person being accused? Do we really want to start firing good talent that we’ve worked hard to find, hire, and train over any number of misinterpretations, instead of ACTUAL misconduct?’

Her: 'I get what you’re saying, but we’re of the mind that most people wouldn’t make those types of accusations without good reason, and we need to be fostering a safe and inclusive work environment for everyone..’

Me: 'Except the person being erroneously accused’

Her: 'Sorry?’

Me: 'So you don’t believe that a person would ever misinterpret another person’s innocuous chit chat or friendly banter as an unwanted advance?’

Her: 'We don’t feel that that is likely, no.’

Me: 'During this conversation you’ve told me that I look 'young for the role’, that I’m 'in good shape’ (with reference to the company gym subsidy), and that you’re looking forward to getting to know me better. By the logic of this policy, I could easily have interpreted those comments as inappropriate observations on my appearance and even as unwanted advances. Of course I wouldn’t do that because I’m a reasonable person.’

Her (looking visibly shocked and unsettled): W.. we believe that most people are.

Me: If you truly believe that in 'X city’ in 2019, then you haven’t been paying attention.

After that we covered a few other things and then wrapped up, but I could tell she was still taken aback by my bluntness and staunch stance on the policy. I guess we’ll see where it goes from here.

2020-09-28T14:08:56+00:00

A very simple reason, men actually have to do things. As long has men are the doers of dating, theyll be the ones doing more of the good and bad stuff.

2020-09-28T14:20:44+00:00

There are a few things that influence men's propensity to sexual violence and sexually coercive behaviours:

History of buying sex
Men who buy sex have much in common with sexually coercive men

Believing in rape myths
A systematic review of the association between rape myth acceptance and male-on-female sexual violence

Concern for losing power to women
Sexist men underestimate their power in romantic relationships

Lack of emotional intelligence, like reading nonverbal emotional cues
College students: Reading the right sexual cues?

Note, however, that none of these factors are total and static thing that make a man incapable to come close to empathizing with women more healthily. Empathy (not necessarily only sympathy) is something that all of us have to nurture in a self-aware and critical way.

The problem we have today is a tendency for our own sexual attraction to diminish our capacity of reading cues. This is particularly observed for men, but that doesn't mean it's exclusive to men.

LooseIndication · 2020-09-28T15:03:28+00:00

Because men and women are not equal.

The burden of initiating a relationship falls on men. It comes with the risk of being rejected.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-09-28T15:08:33+00:00

I don't know if I could really sexually harass a man. Let's face it, if my advances were so distasteful he could easily push me away without feeling any dread, and while this sounds so stuck up, the reality is he'd probably be turned on. At best he wouldn't want to do anything because he is taken or something, in which case he'd still feel complimented. I couldn't do anything violent to him or rape him so there would be no fear either.

SeemedGood · 2020-09-28T17:55:12+00:00

Maybe because women are so asinine and victim status seeking as to see receiving a FB request as sexual harassment, while simultaneously being entirely uncritical of their own behavior in this regard.

Seriously, if I had treated women in the same way in which they have treated me I would have been fired from every job that I’ve held for sexual harassment, kicked out of every other bar that I’ve frequented, been arrested and indicted on several charges sexual assault for groping and other unwanted sexual advances, and convicted of sexual assault of one minor and rape of another.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-09-28T18:01:00+00:00

Testosterone, male nature and sexuality being predatory and active

withersgsreddit · 2020-09-28T22:44:39+00:00

T and being visually oriented in their sexuality mixed with them being physically stronger (so not intimidated by possible reprisal), as well as not having sex on demand in our modern society as women do, simple as.

Plus, a lot of sexual harrassment of men happens but just isn't reported because nobody cares. I myself have been straight assaulted at least 6 times to my penor but they wouldn't put them in jail or anything so why bother tattling?

Physiologist21 · 2020-09-28T23:15:18+00:00

Biology.

Women have higher rates of abuse towards children, why, because they are physically stronger in these situations.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-09-29T06:14:10+00:00

I've been sexually harassed by women a lot in my life. Just society won't recognize it as such.

amwfhunter · 2020-09-29T11:42:59+00:00

Because we are physically stronger and privileged apparently so we can never be victims. If a woman did the same to us, we would be told, consider ourselves lucky.

Female pedophiles do get punished by the law but the impression on the internet, it is unfortunate we see memes like "why can't our school teachers look like that when we were kids" etc. Implying that an attractive teacher that sleeps with her underaged student is a proud moment for the student. Like wtf.

jyfjdjgfdhgfdfds · 2020-09-29T16:05:02+00:00

I've been sexually harassed by several women. Or it would be considered sexual harassment if the genders were switched. nobody gives a shit.

2020-09-29T21:24:52+00:00

Lizard brain that wants to fuck and dominate women fueled by a society where this urge is both stimulated and repressed. Rebelling against polite society is satisfying, rewarded by negative and positive attention. Then you can log on the internet and see some porn created to be the most boundary busting versions of male desire for the lowest common denominator that consumes it, creating demand and shaping the tastes of other men, or watch sexed up violent escapism in games, TV, movies, or read any number of internet articles about how men are like this, it’s normal and they can’t help themselves.

Fantasy does bleed into reality, there’s little that can be done to stop it.

Women barely get the chance to harass as they are on the receiving end of so much eagerness.

thedeadpill · 2020-09-30T06:39:21+00:00

Now granted, that's at the very minor end of things in terms of sexual harrasment but it begs the question, why is it that it's mostly men who do this?

When it rape/harassment happens to men at the hands of women, it isn't reported, and it's constantly dismissed.

While I'm sure it's mostly men who do it, I wonder about the margins.

So what is it? Is it how men are raised, biology or a mixture of both?

Probably both, but definitely a heavy biology component. Men are driven to mate, and society often tells men that they're supposed to be family oriented. Women are much more selective, and tend to only harass powerful men.

reddie76 · 2020-09-30T22:26:53+00:00

Higher T = higher sex drive, higher aggression. Go figure.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-09-28T13:59:12+00:00

Because men want to fuck more.

Also men tend not to care to much if they are sexually harassed. They just move on with life.

John_Oakman · 2020-09-28T14:02:28+00:00

Because it's cute when a chick randomly slap some guy's ass but not the other way around.

Title	Why are men mostly the perpetators of sexual harassment?
Author	orexinbaby
Upvotes	10
Comments	135
Date	September 28, 2020 12:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/j1bds6/why_are_men_mostly_the_perpetators_of_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-men-mostly-the-perpetators-of-sexual.271828 https://theredarchive.com/post/271828

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