Ok, in my opinion (and this is just my opinion) everyone who ascribes to the red pill, was traumatized at some point in their life by a failed relationship. The failed relationship caused a crisis in their masculinity leading to them accepting red pill theory as fact. Disclaimer: I subscribe to no pill theory

I just looked at a post on the red pill sub about how displaying "needy love" will turn people, especially women, away from you. This is essentially the red pill theory, if you show your emotions or allow yourself to be vulnerable towards women, they will reject you. Now, while this theory has an element of truth to it (otherwise no one would subscribe to it), it is also deeply flawed.

The red pill theory takes away the ability of people to have varying states of emotions. People are either alpha (show little to no emotion) or beta (show emotion regularly). Now this is completely ridiculous to anyone who has had successful relationships. But to many people who have been through traumatic relationships, it is a fitting description of their lives. A fitting scenario would be the girl that they dreamed about ended up banging some dude on the football team who does drugs and bangs tons of other girls. This is traumatic, no matter how you look at it. Being vulnerable with anyone is hard, especially if you are young and when that person betrays your trust and makes you think like you never had a chance to begin with, you start thinking that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Cue in the alpha/beta male dichotomy.

Much of Red pill theory itself is not toxic, but the way I see red pillers ascribe to it is. Some of red pill theory is actually very good positive advice. Like don't make your whole life around getting women, i.e. have some hobbies. Work out. Don't whore yourself out to women, and stand up for yourself. All of this is great advice and not sexist in the least. The problem is that they believe there is a pill model in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, it is very easy, especially after being harshly rejected, to think that any other relationship you start will end that way. I really don't think that most men on trp want to hate women, but they feel like they have been forced to. It makes sense. When you're a kid and you get burned by putting your hand on the stove, you know not to do it again. How are relationships any different? If you add yourself vulnerable in a relationship that gave you nothing but hurt feelings, why on earth would you want to do it again? For someone else who could very well do the same thing to you?

With this being said, the reasons for believing in pill theory are completely genuine. No one who believes it is a bad person. However, replacing your longing for a girlfriend with a longing to be an "alpha" male only perpetuates the problem you have. Men who have good, fulfilling relationships with women are not trying to be "alpha." Rather, they feel secure enough in themselves to pursue relationships with women, and have no problem with keeping other women as friends. But trying to be "alpha" because you couldn't get a girlfriend will not help you. Any relationships you have will be miserable, full of fights and only perpetuate your emotional issues. Girls are not on the lookout for guys to reject and make miserable, and those that are, are insane.

So no, the red pill is not your magic cure to your dating troubles. In fact, it will only make your dating troubles even worse. Women are not on the lookout to make you a "beta orbiter". Most women don't believe in alpha/beta shit anyways. Your best bet would be to stay away from any "pill theory" and focus on doing the things that made you happy before you started to think this way.

Edit: I feel like a therapist right now so I'm gonna stop replying to individual comments. Feel free to PM me if you're still interested in whatever we were arguing about.

Edit 2: if I were to sum up my view in one sentence, it would be: TRP is good advice, just given in a shitty context. Which well, makes it shit advice