To RPW or men looking for an RPW: How much are women free to pursue their own interests in a relationship? Do you agree with the red pill women sub?

Old_Pine_Tree · 2014-08-21T21:02:13+00:00

My partner has a science degree and is working on an engineering certification. It blows my mind how some of you can be so steeped in ideology to think that I, as a RP man, would have a problem with that.

SirNemesis · 2014-08-21T18:23:52+00:00

A lot of the Red Pill Women, including many of the mods, work professionally and have plenty of interests in science, philosophy, etc. They just subordinate their career to their relationship rather than vice versa. Heck, some RPW are even the primary or sole breadwinners of their household.

TempestTcup · 2014-08-22T15:13:42+00:00

Doing things to make my husband happy isn't subordinating myself to him; it is a part of a loving relationship; we both do things to make each other happy.

I pursue my own interests all the time; you can do both, you know, you can make your husband happy and still have time left over to make yourself happy. Imagine that!

I also have a career as an accountant and run the financial side of a $200M a year business. And my husband lets me! /sarc

I would be cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc whether or not I'm married; do single women not do these things? I also enjoy the fruits of my labor with yummy food, a clean house, and clean laundry. Are these specifically RPW things to do? Do non-RPW not cook or clean? Do they live in their own filth and eat fast food?

We_Are_Legion · 2014-08-21T21:07:39+00:00

I want to repost this answer in the main thread because I am sick of this misunderstanding.

OP, I take issue with your repeated usage of the word "Serve" all over this thread, because it implies it is one way. That I am jacking off while she does this "cooking, cleaning, shopping laundry, etc."

You are repeatedly using this ugly word, serve, to describe the dynamic, because you are either lazy or have adapted a mindset of selfishness as the norm and you do not understand the concept of mutual responsibility within differing roles. I do not settle for a woman who is anything less than devoted to me. This does not mean she has no life of her own, hobbies and interests or that she lacks a career. This does not mean that the relationship is one way, with her providing value while I manipulate or abuse her to keep it flowing.

It means she is devoted to me, and adds as much value to my life as I do to hers. And if I cannot add value to her life in a way that's enough to earn me what will satisfy me, then next. I do not care if this opinion is unpopular: Most women aren't good housemates. Most women do not add net value to your life as a man. And this is not a case of coincidentally choosing the wrong women. Most. women. don't. I do not need a mediocre existence with a partner who I just have a pointless agreement to have sex with, live in the same space, and be each other's therapy time to time... tolerating each other pointlessly, all in the name of some shitty social norm of having to be married or in a relationship(which is probably worse here for me than in the west). I do not need a shitty, unqualified therapist. I don't require a woman to do my household chores, nor cook for me. I am perfectly capable of doing all that myself, and do share in those(especially cooking, which I almost insist on switching every other day) even if she's willing. So, what do I want? I want a woman who is willing to adapt to my unique idiosyncrasies. To get creative and give me what I'm not expecting, not just the bare minimum. I want a woman who is distinctly womanly. Who is willing to try hard, and add value to my life in a way I can't replace. I want a woman who knows she isn't replaceable, because that to me, is impressive and attractive, in and of itself if she's not delusional.

My current partner is like that. She is a teacher, and she is immensely devoted to her career. Besides that, she does have plenty of hobbies, but coincidentally, the only serious hobby where we differ is she reads lots of books and watches certain dramas while I don't. I play guitar and piano, and I have taught my girlfriend to play too. We hike a lot, and run long distance. We both enjoy a lot of the same media(movies, music, etc), and can reliably share what we like with the other, on a good chance it'll be mutual. We both like to swim. She looks good in a swimsuit. She is less educated than me(not that I care), but still probably smarter than I am: I genuinely enjoy our conversations. She is like social lube, and has a knack for being diplomatic, working with people and reducing tension in any group. I find that constantly useful. She is extremely attentive and gets things done for me without having to be asked. She treats me with respect and views being valuable to me wherever she can as an obligation, a duty, and not an exchange. She is willing to sacrifice on her wants. She is one of the few women I've known who has a libido greater than mine. She is cute, and leverages that in sex in creative ways. She is eager to please. She has no problem taking commands or being humble, or backing off where I don't agree without needless argument(i.e. she understands when I need her to). She trusts me to keep her interests in mind, and knows that I respect her and her wants, and I don't think I've let her down yet. She knows who is in charge. And I'm waiting for you to be offended by this next sentence; she knows her place. Its not below me nor above me. It is working in a way where we both complement each other. She is one of the rarer women who are actually funny, even though its often when she doesn't mean to be.

This does not mean she is without faults. If I went on about those, I would overshoot the above list by a factor of two. In fact, most of those perks had to be developed over time, out of understanding each other. But I am illustrating the ways she adds value to my life, besides the expected and obvious(she does most of the housework for example, vs me bringing in most of the income). RP men, basically pick women that do add net value to their lives in tangible ways, and reject without explanation or drama everywhere they don't.

The hypothetical in the OP of the girl earning and coming back to put food on the table while I play video games is comparable to the hypothetical of me working all day to come back to share in half her job too. Both man and woman would rather be single than on the receiving end of the others lack of any responsibility. They would both prefer someone who feels the same amount of duty, and appreciation to them.

M_rafay · 2014-08-21T21:16:03+00:00

My woman earns more than me, in financial consulting. I come home from my job and cook. I do most of the cleaning as well. I also do the laundry. Shopping is delivered via neat service on a nearby supermarket.

Most of our hobbies are different.

Lol, didn't expect that? AMAA.

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-08-22T01:07:40+00:00

I think that RP doesnt care if a woman has a career or not, it's just when their career becomes the main thing in their life and overlaps the relationship.

pushajudas · 2014-08-22T14:17:27+00:00

This is simply idiotic. There is no way you have read RPW and come away with the conclusion that we are servant drudge slaves who aren't allowed to have hobbies and interests and live to serve our masters. Every one of us has degrees, hobbies interests and most even have JOBS.

"Housewife" is a JOB, it's called "division of labor" if a man is the breadwinner he goes to HIS job, and she stays home and does HER job and together everything gets done. Why is this so mystifying? Where did you get that we couldn't have hobbies and interests? There used to be a recurring thread about everyone's crafts and hobbies that was full of everyone's arts and cooking and passions. I personally in the course of my marriage have played tourney scrabble, taken guitar lessons, taught myself to knit, cross stitch, needlepoint and quilt and I'm pretty sure weaving on a loom will be next. I have 2 degrees and a non-career flexible "job" that allows my husband and family to come FIRST. Do you understand the meaning of putting your loved ones AHEAD of yourself because THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL. Does it occur to you how selfish and insular you make yourself sound? Men don't marry to acquire some roommate to split the bills with and occasionally bang

What are you people READING when you read our sub? It's like you have these weird "oppression" blinders on and see phantoms. There is NOTHING OUTRAGEOUS about anything RPW says, it is the generic marital relationship that obtained in the west for 100s of years, let alone elsewhere.

When you go to work everyday you are a "servant" too. Why is it the bee's knees to "serve" a boss at some job but vile oppression to CHOOSE to "serve your family". HIERARCHY is not SLAVERY.

Melodyheart · 2014-08-22T02:06:09+00:00

[deleted]

[deleted] · 2014-08-22T05:34:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DaThrowaway808 · 2014-08-21T18:24:59+00:00

I think it's shortsighted to look for an "RPW." It's better to find somebody you really have a real love and real affinity for - somebody that you really want to be with - and then apply what you've learned towards that relationship.

dreckmal · 2014-08-22T19:18:42+00:00

RP men, are you okay if your wife wants a career?

Yeah.

I play an instrument and might do it professionally. I am learning multiple languages requiring upkeep everyday. I love reading and math and science. How much would I be free to have these interests? Do they have to be second to working for you?

For someone who isn't going to be getting with any men, you seem to be overly concerned with how a man would treat you.

That being said, I don't have the time or desire to keep someone so under the leash that I have to tell her how to live her own life. I am very interested in finding a woman, or women, who enjoy me and my company so much that they willing give me their devotion. I don't want to take it.

The entire RPW sub is basically about women serving men and subordinating themselves to men.

Why must everything be compared as if it were a strict dichotomy? The things a man puts into a relationship are not the same things a woman puts into it.

Do you really want a woman to serve you by cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc?

I want a woman who is so into me that she freely does these things for me. I also do not look at it as service, but rather contribution to the big picture (i.e. we both contribute, in different areas, to the betterment of both of us). Both sides of a relationship 'serve' the other. Or do you believe that not to be the case?

Aerobus · 2014-08-22T20:03:00+00:00

I agree with RPW as a subreddit. I believe women should be allowed to pursue their desires in a relationship, just as men should be.

If a woman's desires conflicts with what I want in a relationship, then I won't enter into a relationship with her.

[deleted] · 2014-08-23T15:48:26+00:00

I don't think there is really a limit on this, or it's all subjective to the relationship dynamic shared between partners.

The concern of the red pill isn't about telling women "No, you have to stay in the home and maintain a 50's-esque housewife role". It's more about relationships where your partner's happiness in a relationship is a top priority. Also, that the kids (if there are any) are raised in a good healthy environment, rather than neglecting them in trade for career moves.

TogiBear · 2014-08-21T18:51:01+00:00

My ex that started getting into RP type shit near the end of our relationship used to coerce me into having sex with him or sending him nude photos etc by getting super angry and throwing shit or ignoring me if I didn't want to. I'm pretty sure that if I didn't break up with him when I did, it would have escalated to him beating me.

I also wasn't allowed to go to parties or talk to other males.

I would advise you not to get into the Red Pill shit. If you're pretty, you can find an attractive guy that isn't a tool.

DaThrowaway808 · 2014-08-21T18:32:56+00:00

I think someone mentioned before that we don't have very many people who would identify as RPW in this sub. It also seems like the question is more directed at RP Men.

How much would I be free to have these interests? Do they have to be second to working for you?

This is from an interview with the Pepsi CEO about what her mother told her.

let me explain something to you. You might be president of PepsiCo. You might be on the board of directors. But when you enter this house, you're the wife, you're the daughter, you're the daughter-in-law, you're the mother. You're all of that. Nobody else can take that place. So leave that damned crown in the garage. And don't bring it into the house. You know I've never seen that crown.

I think that this is an accurate picture of some things women forget in a relationship when they have a career.

Do you really want a woman to serve you by cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc?

Yes, but it doesn't mean I won't help her.

M_rafay · 2014-08-21T20:11:39+00:00

I actually don't think I would want to date a so-called "red pill woman." Something about it irks me. I'd rather just date a feminine woman who fits my specifications who isn't aware of any pill.

an_absolute_rose · 2014-08-21T18:19:57+00:00

Do you really want a woman to serve you by cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, etc?

I really want a woman who wants and desires to serve me. If she doesn't, next.

ILU2 · 2014-08-21T21:23:23+00:00

lol, I don't think most RP men look for RPW. A few of the newer ones might, but there's a very practical reason why the older guys don't.

We know their tactics, and they're reliant on them. Most of what RP does that gets them success or power in a relationship has to be explicitly allowed to happen if we know. At which point, we're just letting them have their fun. I'd argue out of love ;)

/u/M_rafay is right. The actual crossover between RPW and men on TRP might actually be very small.

RedPill4LYF · 2014-08-21T17:55:06+00:00

As long as your career doesn't destroy a positive male work environment I have nothing to say about what you choose to do. If you invade male spaces, start policing language, demand more pay for the exact same job, and sleep with coworkers, that's where the problem starts. I personally don't want anything long term with a woman married to her career.

I want a feminine woman. I don't want a man.

workerbeebuzz · 2014-08-22T00:17:22+00:00

RPW makes me very sad. It's just another surrendered wives movement, but with a shmick new name.

Title	To RPW or men looking for an RPW: How much are women free to pursue their own interests in a relationship? Do you agree with the red pill women sub?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	180
Date	August 21, 2014 5:04 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2e71ha/to_rpw_or_men_looking_for_an_rpw_how_much_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/to-rpw-or-men-looking-for-an-rpw-how-much-are.285041 https://theredarchive.com/post/285041

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