ive been seeing and hearing a lot of pickmes feeling this pressure to buy the guy they like or are seeing a gift for Christmas. they're spending money they dont have and time stressing over what to buy a man! I have a business and someone spent $60 on a sweater as a gift for the guy she likes! That $60 sweater is gonna end up thrown on a pile with his dirty socks when he gets home, he's not even gonna wear it. Its not gonna impress him or make him like you, it wont make him dress up or take you out more, a gift wont turn a LVM into a HVM.

resist the urge to buy him a gift, especially clothing, shoes, or household gifts. many lvms count on their moms to be giving them new clothes, socks, shoes, sheets/towels for their Christmas gifts. it seems like a nice gesture and like practical gifts on the surface. however, I can tell you that for many of these men its the only time they incorporate new clothes, bedding, or pillows into their lineup. they rely on these gifts from mom, therefore they dont have to put in the effort into shopping and they have more money for video games. if mom doesn't gift it to them, they dont go and get it for themselves. these LVMs will go as far to say they dont know how to shop or make outfits, and note that their moms just do it for them! as a woman, if you're coming in and gifting him clothes, socks, or household items, he's already getting the idea that you're gonna mother him and do his shopping, maybe even pick out his outfits. resist the urge to get him that quirky tie or socks with his favorite TV show on them. it doesn't matter of its cheap or if he will love it, it sends the wrong message especially in the early stages.

it should go without saying but if you are in a relationship and he says something about buying you a gift or is asking what you like just be cautious. he should have an idea of what you like or have enough brain cells to pick something out for you. dont do the work and give him a list of potential gifts. if he's joking or commenting "oh I like that you can get me that" or "what are you getting me for Christmas" its really rude and low value to expect a present. you dont owe a man anything. if you do get a man a present, you should be established and do it because you genuinely want to, not because you feel pressure from society to buy him something or because he is pressuring you to buy one.

a man should be wanting to see you for the holidays and want to celebrate. he should be making plans with you and it should be special. perhaps there is an orchestra playing, or a special holiday attraction nearby, or maybe a restaurant has a special holiday feast. he should be trying to set his own traditions with you and be going above and beyond doing something extra special. he shouldn't be pressuring or guilt tripping you either. and ladies, he should get you a thoughtful and substantial present without expecting anything back in return. it doesn't have to be a Chanel purse or custom diamond chain, but it should be something that is tailored to your taste or maybe he went and got that pair of shoes you said you liked last time you were shopping etc. it shouldn't be a cookie cutter pandora ring. remember CZ (cubic zirconia) is cheap. your gift shouldn't be super cheap. consider his means and that his gift will reflect a lot on what he thinks about you. you're worth more than a pandora ring, bath and body works lotion, and fuzzy socks from 5 below.

you also shouldn't be feeling pressure to bring him along to your work party or family gatherings especially with new relationships. you dont have to invite him. honestly its better that you bring a friend. you also do not have to go to his family events or work parties either, especially if you feel like its too quick to meet his family or coworkers. remember its effort and time to be putting into schmoozing with his family and coworkers, and its awkward when its early on. say you have plans with *your* family and better yet blame covid say your family isn't having big gatherings this year because they are worried about getting/spreading covid. you aren't his wife, you dont need to accompany him, if you dont want to or dont feel ready to. if you do accompany him, it shows him you're willing to keep doing that in the future so prepare to be toted around to ALL his family and work events. think twice about doing wife shit without a nice diamond ring.

lastly if he does get you a present and you're like me and dont get guys presents any longer, this is how I suggest to handle it: act pleasantly surprised! graciously accept the present and give feedback about how beautiful is, how you'll cherish it, or how kind it was to think of you. now if its a cheap gift like a junky $15 necklace or cheap lotion or body spray dont overdo the enthusiasm. "oh, I wasn't expecting a gift. Huh? (act confused) Lotion? Okay! Thank you." cheap generic gifts like lotion, a candle, nail polish, or cheap junky jewelry are lousy and not thoughtful (unless you specifically said you liked and wanted that item or are in high school). Also, dont bring up that you didn't get him a gift and do not lie to him with bs like "I forgot yours at home". if he says anything say I didn't know you were expecting a present or I didn't know we were exchanging.

one last thing: my family and my friends family see bringing a significant other along to a family house for the holidays as a big step, it means you're more serious and long term and then my family wants to start treating the guy like he is apart of the family and so on... really think twice before going to his family's Christmas and having him to yours. dont do wife shit without a ring!