Can women not genuinely enjoy sex for the sake of it?

DicamVeritatem · 2020-02-09T11:35:33+00:00

Good news, bad news for men.

Good news: Women want dick.

Bad news: They just don’t want YOUR dick.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-02-09T11:11:43+00:00

Women like sex, sure. Just not with literally anyone and not under every circumstance. A sexual experience can range from a rockin good time (especially if the dude puts some effort into her reaching an orgasm), to boring and painful/chafey and bleeding when you pee.

ToraChan23 · 2020-02-09T11:59:22+00:00

If someone gift wrapped me a man and told me: this guy will be attractive, will respect you and will always ensure you are satisfied sexually, he won’t have any STIs and won’t cry about using condoms and will act like a responsible adult in the case you end up pregnant - but he will not commit to you, you will strictly have a FWB relationship. I’d unwrap that man and enjoy our sex based relationship while it lasts... but you don’t have any of those guarantees with randoms guys. The closest you can get to having those guarantees is by vetting and locking him down so he has some incentive to be a good sexual partner and not see you as just a hole he can ejaculate into. And while NSA sex can be enjoyable, there is noooo way it’ll be more enjoyable than sex where you have an emotional bond to that person.

CatchPhraze · 2020-02-09T16:19:24+00:00

Short answer: no.

The orgasm gap is huge. Most women won't cum from nsa sex. Sex carries increased risks for woman.

The upsides are few and the downsides are many. Being with a partner you trust to both make it good for you and help take precautions against the risks greatly decreses the con list and it becomes a positive again.

In short: sex is good for women just not with strangers. It's not about using it as a tool, it's about trust to minimize the extra risks she takes.

brokegradstudent_93 · 2020-02-09T15:23:51+00:00

For me personally the few times I’ve tried ons were awful. The sex was just bad sex. There was almost no effort on the mans part to get me off, no connection, and it just wasn’t fun. I love having sex for the sake of sex in my ltr though. There is a connection there, he knows what I like and consistently gets me off, and it’s just all around more fun. I think having good sex from the woman’s perspective usually comes with practice with the same woman. It might start out good the first night but several months in it’s just so much better physically.

Willow-girl · 2020-02-09T14:48:46+00:00

I think it depends on how she was socialized. My mother was very reticent to discuss sex with me; I had to figure things out on my own, and what I discovered was that I liked it and wanted to have it as often as possible. (In all fairness, she may have figured I was too young to be having those thoughts, and then when she discovered I was already active, there was no sense shutting the barn door, etc.).

Other girls are socialized to see sex as a bargaining chip and to feel 'cheated' if they are, for instance, pumped and dumped. I think it's actually much more common for girls to be taught to 'hold out,' 'not sell themselves short,' and to acquire something tangible (a RING!) in return for access to their genitals.

For a woman socialized this way, desire may not factor into the equation much if at all. She agrees to have sex with the highest bidder, so to speak, without considering whether she's attracted to him at all. (Incidentally, this was probably what marriage was like for most of human history.)

flamingoinghome · 2020-02-09T16:23:28+00:00

Can? Sure. And many women have had enjoyable casual sex. BUT we're really, really reluctant to seek it out, because sex is more likely to be bad for us, and while bad sex for men is just kinda frustrating, bad sex for women is physically painful. There are also added physical dangers--men are physically stronger, and there is the risk of pregnancy.

This is why even women who like casual sex often avoid sex with strangers, and prefer FWB-type relationships.

abstractsadgurl · 2020-02-09T22:19:20+00:00

Of course, but thing is, most men suck at giving a woman pleasure. That's why it's easier, cheaper and safer to just masturbate. Men should learn how to please women if they want to have more sex. Basically, they have to shift attention from what they want to what women want, and pleasuring women should be their only priority. Men who started doing that were surprised how better sex is for them this way.

PennnyLame · 2020-02-09T17:02:21+00:00

You have a very narrow (and, frankly, male centered) view of sex. I reject the false narrative that the only way to enjoy sex is if you enjoy it outside of a relationship.

An emotional relationship with my partner makes sex better, that does not mean I am having sex to “get commitment.” There is a projected transactional element here that just doesn’t exist for me.

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-02-10T03:25:11+00:00

You need to train the guy in order to have good sex. Best case with me personally is at least 3 fucks before it starts to get good.

With an ONS, there's always the chance that just when the sex starts becoming good, that he stops being interessted.

I'm not just having sex so he can have a good time. I want an orgasm too.

2020-02-09T15:00:38+00:00

[deleted]

2020-02-09T20:23:05+00:00

I definitely have known women who can hook up NSA and it’s not a big deal. Usually they are heavy drinkers.

Very few men can be up front and open about where you stand with them. The really fun party guys with the big dicks and tornado tongues who you can joke about who all else your’e fucking and both move on easily when you find someone serious? They’re cool to be FWB with.

They are a rare breed. Most men are cowards pretending they’re busy, being evasive, treating you like you’re stupid. It’s really hard to enjoy sex with someone that treats you like garbage. They’re usually lazy garbage afraid of condoms fucks, too.

ReignRain95 · 2020-02-09T22:27:05+00:00

do you think men having ONS are looking to please the woman? most men are incredibly selfish in bed and dont care if the woman enjoys it or not.

Iamthegirliam · 2020-02-09T12:33:57+00:00

Penetrative sex isn't as good for women as it is for men. Very often dick isn't really necessary for us to orgasm. Most women need clitoral stimulation for that. And no, masturbation during PiV isn't enough.

So yes, we can enjoy sex for the sake of sex, but our partner needs to put an effort to make it enjoyable. I have sex with my fiance because I want to, but he spends a lot of time touching and kissing me.

I never had one night stand but I think that it wouldn't be a good experience for me. I would never sleep with a random guy just to get penis in vagina. I don't see why would I, it wouldn't give me any satisfaction. I need to be taken care of and touched in right places.

wtknight · 2020-02-09T14:54:56+00:00

Sure. Many women do like casual sex for the sake of it with men who they have no intent to commit to. Not every woman is ready for a relationship 100% of the time.

ohheyhi99 · 2020-02-09T11:20:56+00:00

No. Anyone who says that no women can eever enjoy sex for its own sake applying their personal views/experiences to all women and is probably underestimating how often men have sex for reasons other than sex.

Edit: I missed the “not” in the OP. I meant to say No.

NarniaFox · 2020-02-09T11:24:21+00:00

It's possible and women do enjoy sex with partners, who care for their partners' pleasure and who they are attracted to. Not all women want commitment, as not all men want just sex.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-02-09T16:11:34+00:00

Sure, but we still want to like the person we are having sex with at least a little.

2020-02-09T22:01:08+00:00

They can with 5% of the male population.

Lilylolo88 · 2020-02-10T13:59:18+00:00

I know a lot of women who don't want relationships and are happy to have one night stands to satisfy their urges.

Just remember that not all women are the same.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-02-11T09:18:59+00:00

I only like non exclusive dating with occasional ons so do enjoy sex for the sake of it

Its never without being demonised for my lifestyle though which no one seems to understand

2020-02-09T11:21:00+00:00

I dont think its the norm for women to enjoy NSA sex. They catch feels, get pissy after being pump and dumped especially if the guy is really attractive. I think hookup culture is damaging to most women, so most stay out or grow out of it fast and the few high n count women ive known have had serious self esteem or abuse issues.

Honestly if you want to slut around, more power to you. I personally dont care. Ive reached the point where I can accept not everyone has to have the same tastes and there are plenty low n count women out there for me to choose from, despite what blackpillers say. I dont think its healthy for most women just based on my observations of them, but you are in a better position than I to know whether youre an exception.

newyearzz2020 · 2020-02-09T12:04:21+00:00

Nope, they tell themself that, but what they’re really chasing is Chads commitment.

But they end up in the “fuck zone” which is nature’s analogous response to the “friend zone”.

It’s like nice guys who tell themselves that they’re just being nice to women for the sake of it, but really what they’re doing is chasing pussy. (Nice guys suffer from the same cognitive dissonance that women do)

Women can’t put sex coins into Chad and expect commitment.

Similarly, a nice guy can’t put nice coins into women and expect sex

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acron5n5 · 2020-02-09T11:33:57+00:00

They can but it depends on the partner and his status/value.

Shadow_Of_ · 2020-02-09T14:25:11+00:00

Depends on how moral they are

teibe · 2020-02-09T16:17:15+00:00

If you have ever had a kid want to play the same game over and over again, I liken it to that feeling. Yeah you don't mind playing the game at first, but after the kid starts demanding that you play it over and over again every day, you start to hate that fucking stupid game. There are so many other experiences to have in life but men are fixated on the one experience of sex. Can't we go for a walk or cook together, or do one of the million other experiences that life has to offer?

2020-02-10T02:17:04+00:00

It is bad for both sexes. https://youtu.be/usd0tLIMqZ8

CosmicBioHazard · 2020-02-10T03:27:51+00:00

Is it not possible for a woman to just genuinely enjoy getting laid and experiencing new people?

perfectly possible, even relatively common; all I’m saying is that for me to commit my life to a woman with a track record of wanting to experience new people is a terrible idea.

She’ll be bored of me after a week, if she decides she doesn’t want to give up experiencing new people I could end up raising someone else’s kid, just the fact that she experienced the hight of intimacy plus the first time butterflies already means that no experience I give her can be from me only (so forget about love-of-her-life status).

Promiscuous primates have sperm that are built like fucking battle ships, they plug up the womb to prevent other sperm getting through, the tails of the sperm can be used to wrestle and drag sperm away. Humans have none of that, we have pathetic, small sperm with short tails which indicates we’re a species with a heavy preference toward one man doing everything in his power to secure a mate who’s not fucking and will not fuck other men. Her past is an indicator of two pieces of information, one is the likelihood that experiencing multiple people is appealing to her, and two is the strength of the butterflies you can set off in her, which is linked to how well she’ll treat you, or in more cynical terms ‘what kind of reward she’ll give you for agreeing to devote yourself to her.

Darkseeker_Mau · 2020-02-10T03:32:42+00:00

Unfortunately a lot of women see sex as a pure business transaction, most of them don't even engage in sex, and have the "let's just get this over with" attitude.

Fortunately those women are not the majority, still hard to differentiate them from normal women.

Also, I think that those women would engage in sex as pure pleasure if the orgasm gap wasn't so pronounced.

gimpgirl555 · 2020-02-09T11:17:29+00:00

This has me wondering: is it not possible for a woman to genuinely just want SEX?

Is it not possible for a man to genuinely just want SEX with another man?

Like are they always doing it to get commitment (or money as guys also say)?

Women do it for attention when they're young, and money when they're close to the wall.

Is it not possible for a woman to just genuinely enjoy getting laid and experiencing new people?

Of course it is but it's very rare. Under 10% of women IME.

Title	Can women not genuinely enjoy sex for the sake of it?
Author	yourmostfavoriteweeb
Upvotes	10
Comments	102
Date	February 9, 2020 11:06 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f17akt/can_women_not_genuinely_enjoy_sex_for_the_sake_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-women-not-genuinely-enjoy-sex-for-the-sake-of.331549 https://theredarchive.com/post/331549

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