I had a guy I was romantically involved with in the past reach out to me last week on a social media account I hardly use. I thought he was blocked everywhere, as we had previously stopped talking due to an argument about a social issue.

I sat on it for a few days and talked to my therapist about it, and we came to the conclusion what’s the harm in reconnecting with someone who used to be an important part of my life.

So we talked on the phone for a couple hours the other day, apologized mutually for our argument and talked about reconnecting. At the end of the day I sent a nice text just saying I had missed him and our friendship, and can we exchange addresses. Since we can’t hang out because of covid I thought it would be fun to send a little something to each other in the mail, as I’ve been trying to do with people who I’m close to.

It’s been two days since I sent that text and had no response, when he was responding to me just before. And I got to thinking about the red flags.

• Turns out he’s busy being poly now and reached out to me because his “main” wasn’t giving him the attention that he wanted and his little feelings were hurt. He didn’t outright say this but I’m not stupid even though my behavior says otherwise

• Inconsistent texting/communication in the past (only when he was interested in hooking up)

• Never even acknowledged my birthday or holidays when I would always at least give a card and small gift as I do with all people I’m close to

• He told me one time he kept seeking me out because I made him feel better about himself 🤮

• He’s been downright rude to me in the past, such as questioning kind of mockingly why I thought we were such good friends (stupid me) and on another occasion told me to hurry up and get to the point, because I was rambling like I always do (and made me cry)

I’m sure I can think of a lot more, but I’ve given this way too much thought already. The thing I’m pissed at myself about is thinking he had changed at all since I last talked to him. Why do I always feel like I owe men an explanation instead of straight up blocking them? They don’t care! They don’t. Except that it bruises their fragile little ego and that’s why you get any sort of reaction. I blocked him again anyway. I knew better, I’m just sad that I wasted my time.

As an aside, I’ve had people (mostly LVM) in the past tell me that blocking people was childish and extreme and that I shouldn’t do it. Has anyone else ever experienced this?