Why would a girl care if you next her?

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April 17, 2020

I know you don't next her for her to care. I understand the reasons why you next a girl. She's not worth your time, she disrespects, she doesn't give you what you need etc. I also understand that "I'm the prize mentality."

All that aside, take your ego out of it. Given the amount of options any decent looking girl has, why would she care if you get rid of her when she likely has 100 hundred guys waiting?

Post Information
Title Why would a girl care if you next her?
Author groomsmen123
Upvotes 105
Comments 89
Date 17 April 2020 04:04 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/653887
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/g2umj1/why_would_a_girl_care_if_you_next_her/
Similar Posts

[–][deleted]  (37 children) | Copy


[–]groomsmen123[S] 85 points86 points  (27 children) | Copy

"Don’t be confused about a woman’s ability to get a dick in her with her ability to get a guy she actually wants to be with."

Yeah I guess that's true.

[–]jackedtradie56 points57 points  (21 children) | Copy

Finding dick is easy, finding good dick isn’t.

[–][deleted]  (18 children) | Copy


[–]jackedtradie85 points86 points  (10 children) | Copy

Can you imagine how depressing it must be to be a good looking but not stunning woman?

Every guy wants in your pants. 90% of them are fucking losers.

5% are great but don’t want you.

4% will promise you the world then not call once they’ve fucked you.

That final 1% might develop into something.

But you’ve gotta risk getting used like a meat hole to find that.

[–]PpcUserNowI15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was actually thinking of this the other day when I was contemplating having daughters. It was kind of a scary prospect

[–]priapula12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly. But obviously good girls won't trade their sexuality or get manipulated. Oftentimes ends up like that tho, sadly

[–]WB2E6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]robot3000_0126 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

Better than being an incel. They just have to lower their standards a bit. They aren't entitled to a 8/10.

[–]Noodlesoupe21 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lowering standards is easier for men since impregnating women uses up 0 resources biologically. For women it’s harder bc pregnancy is long and dangerous so lowering standards for a low value males genes and resources is stupid

[–]robot3000_011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

They don't have the risk of pregnancy sue to contraception so this point is moot. If women had to rely on men actually providing resources whilst they were delivering children, women's n count would plummet over night.

Women aren't entitled to enact their hypergamy, your starting from the point of them successfully enacting hypergamy, at 8/10 as if it's a given we should accept before we argue our point as men.

Now she can lower her fucking standards if she wants more options just like I lower my standards in attempt to execute my polygamy

[–]Rene-Girard5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Then again, any good looking woman who is not stunning could have a relationship with a great man if she would only put in the effort to be pleasant to have around for other things than sex.

Imagine as a man being constantly invited to come and work for different jobs: bad jobs, okay jobs and really great jobs. Would you show up to a new job every month and not make any effort because you knew there's always other offers coming in? Would you be surprised if they let you go if you didn't make any effort?

[–]Noodlesoupe21 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nah most hvm either won’t commit bc they want to pump and dump or they’ll fake commitment for sex. And they don’t like clingy girls either so making an effort might actually scare the guy away

[–]Rene-Girard-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Men get tired of pump and dump also. And a man can still have mistresses on the side.

[–]OttoVonBismark710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

why is she entitled to any attention at all. do you feel the same way for men who get 0 attention?

[–]WB2E9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

I wanted to make a post about this soon: if you're truly RP and you want an LTR or preferably marriage, you're in the top dating game position

[–]Helmet_Icicle6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you're gunning for commitment and the cost of a divorce isn't in your disposable income, then you're not RPed.

[–]thesoloronin1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is also notable that as the scale of your disposable income, which is also hinged upon your total net worth, increases, so does the cost of a divorce and it’s accompanying costs.

[–]WB2E0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Truly RP" means maximizing your wealth in addition to all SMV related factors, so yes you're right.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is what a lot of posters don't understand - if you're signaling "I'm willing to see where this goes," HQ girls will throw themselves at you.

[–]WB2E1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think the majority of guys here don't want commitment but there's a growing faction on RP that does.

A true RP guy looking for commitment is rare.

You have to imagine 95% of guys are BP, 5% RP. Out of those 5%, prob 4% don't want commitment, 1% do. Yet, basically, all girls - sluts, good girls, young, old, inherently want family, love and commitment.

Combine the percentages with the RP guy's physical traits, sense of identity and purpose, strong frame, etc. etc. and you have most girl's ideal guy.

It's not all perfect and everyone's happy in the end. A lot of girls will be crushed in the process while we decide which girl we want to give commitment.

As long as you never give up your true self - for example, I plan to keep gaming, extroverted, catch and release, continue making female friends through social circle, hobbies, work, or just on the street even when committed - then the girl you choose will be less likely to get complacent. And even if she does, then it's time to move on and find a new one.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think the majority of guys here don't want commitment but there's a growing faction on RP that does.

I'm convinced like 90% of posters here are really just trying to figure out how to get that ONE girl.

As long as you never give up your true self - for example, I plan to keep gaming, extroverted, catch and release, continue making female friends through social circle, hobbies, work, or just on the street even when committed - then the girl you choose will be less likely to get complacent. And even if she does, then it's time to move on and find a new one.

Bonus points if they're bi and down for 3somes.

[–]Greaterbird1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or keeping it

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Dick is free and easy!"

Yeah but good dick is rare.

"yeah .. that's true"

[–]Helmet_Icicle7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

The answer to your question is because she implicitly infers your rejection as a personal attack on her SMV.

SHE didn't want you. So if YOU don't want her, how could she get someone better? That's hypergamy struggles in a nutshell.

[–]groomsmen123[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well what if you did want her but her actions resulted in you dumping her?

[–]Helmet_Icicle9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

You just wanted her until you learned why you shouldn't.

Next time learn why you should want her instead of the other way around.

[–]groomsmen123[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Flip the script

[–]foreignobjectfound4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The odds are good but the goods are odd

[–]AxP326 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is great. You can only let them run the show if you believe there is a show to be run without you. In most cases, women are scraping the bottom of the barrel, because the men who could have them at any second don’t want most of them.

I’ve had female friends over the years and they either stuck it out with men they didn’t ultimately want but think there’s nothing more for them, or they’re left forever chasing a guy who merely ticks a few boxes so they can be somewhat content.

The bar is set quite low. I think TRP often fails to acknowledge how desperate women are. Instead, it makes them out to be these vilifying creatures when they resemble lost puppies to a much greater extent. Women may be branch swingers, but they rarely get a better branch to swing on, unless you treat them otherwise.

[–]IntelligenceLtd7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

nice take man, I agree but I also think a lot of women are quite pathetic and undiscerining and will just swing to any branch, then again you could say this about some men as well.

[–]AxP310 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you’re fucking women that swing to any branch, that’s on you.

[–]The_Outlier161211 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

God damn, that's some damn good advice. Should be added to the side bar if not already.

[–]idevastate1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saving this comment, well said.

[–]InfidelCastro111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What are your standards for a guy to be dateable?

[–]8BitRebellion0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with 110%.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting? Or fun? You can have an interesting life and still be a boring person

[–]robot3000_01-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

How big is the disparity between the two.

[–]Vofz109 points110 points  (2 children) | Copy

You're just wondering if your oneitis will care if you ghost her after she disrespected your ass. Don't you.

[–]TINYTAZ9421 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao right

[–]G0rv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well... will she!?

[–]Wabbajak56 points57 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's not about her but about you.

If you were really concentrating on your journey and life goals, why would you care about a girl after her having shown disrespect?

[–]groomsmen123[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah you're absolutely right.

[–]-ThePathIsTheGoal-16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy


Women do not care if they’re nexted by guys that they are disgusted with (betabux) & looking to leave. However if nexted by a guy who owns at least 51% of the power in the relationship then her ego will be bruised.

It leaves her without closure. Not the closure you’re thinking of. Closure as in she can’t be the one to end things. What happens quite often is that girls will go to all ends of the earth to try and patch things up, only for the weak minded boyfriend to give in, and then she self sabotages the relationship on purpose shortly after in order to leave on her terms now. This somehow leaves her feeling ok with things moving forward.

[–]groomsmen123[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You still think that if a girl's actions were the cause of you ending things, her ego would still suffer because she didn't "end" it?

Sure she might not have said "We're done" but if her actions were the cause of you ending it, she in a way ended it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy is absolutely correct. I've observed this behaviour many times and it happened to me once. It's quite a baffling waste of time just to build a psychological loophole so the woman feels like she came out on top.

[–]3chazthundergut31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

She doesnt.

But you still next that goofy bitch

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Given the amount of options any decent looking girl has, why would she care if you get rid of her when she likely has 100 hundred guys waiting?

Because she doesn't know her value. Being dumped implies her value is lower than yours. She HATES that. She wants to leave you broken and down so she can feel superior.

[–]groomsmen123[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You still believe that even if she was the cause of you ending things?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]mikkeldaman18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy

In my mind, nexting a girl has nothing to do with ego. A one time offense should not lead to automatic nexting, unlike lots of people around here suggest, but instead should be seen as an opportunity to teach her to be a better girl. However I next girls on the spot if I realize we're incompatible. It does not only save me time, but it saves her time. So I'd say it's a rather selfless act because you're not leading her on just for the sake of your own validation.

Now to answer your question, a girl that might just be attracted to you but doesn't have any feelings won't really care that you nexted her. Just think of the time when you approached a hottie on the street and she rejected you. Sure, you felt a little bad cause she was really hot and you really wanted to fuck her. But you didn't know her, so within few seconds you were over it. Think that for a girl it takes even longer to develop feelings than for a guy.

But if a girl has feelings for you, then she will care that you nexted her. Most of the times she'll try to find excuses to reinstate the connection and, while in the previous paragraph I was saying that it takes girls longer to develop feelings, once they truly do, it's so much harder for them to let go. I've seen this not once but multiple times: years had passed since I had talked to a girl that I had made fall in love with me in the past, and I see her married with children and she still melts when I say my sweet nothings.

However, a word of caution. What I've also learned from rejecting girls that I lead on was that the famous saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is actually quite true. Women are so much more vindictive and petty and I've often had to suffer social ostracizing for nexting a girl that was in love with me but also had access to my social circle. Luckily none had falsely accused me of rape.

[–]Alzatorus7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Dude... I learnt this lesson hard back as an undergrad. Broke up with a girl and was a blue pill hot mess 😂 - girl who was crushing on me at the time came to my room to "comfort me" and practically ripped my clothes off. The next day I told her I was just out of a relationship, cut-up about it, and didn't want another. The bitch then made me public enemy number 1 for the rest of the year and had the people around us ostracise me for 2 months following (same friend group). Women can be BRUTAL. She literally took advantage of me and my emotional ass then fucked me over for not wanting to be with her 😂

[–]mraees932 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yes they never take rejection well. I wonder sometimes do they ever get the ostracizing in return(but maybe in a different way) because I just ignore them afterwards. Karma eventually gets everyone and I mean the girls will hunt u down like a pack of wolves.

[–]mikkeldaman1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

The problem is when also the guys get roped in to hating on you for dissing the girl. If I'm not trying to give a girl the D, I'm fine if I don't hang out with her. I'm quite disappointed when guy friends choose not to invite me to an event because I may make this girl uncomfortable. What about me? Shouldn't I be the one uncomfortable since the girl made a pass at me and I had to reject her?

I guess it also does make sense in a way because women are gatekeepers of sex and men are gatekeepers of relationships. I've always been more than happy to give my D to the women but then refused to commit. So it must be quite embarrassing for them too when they open the gate for me but I don't open it for them.

[–]mraees931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's just ridiculous that the guys take the girls sides, all bluepill faggots. Most guys don't understand that when u get lots of women u can afford to ignore and next them like it's nothing, even the 9s.

If a girl misbehaves then I ignore her and give attention when I want to.

[–]thesoloronin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

They get the same ostracising by other HV women as part & parcel of hanging out with HV men when she hit the wall. So you pay your dues and observe when the time comes.

Or you can check out the famous video of that woman who drew the women’s version of the SMV graph.

[–]mraees930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm aware of the wall and that smv graph. But imho they should get similar ostracizing like they do to us. I know they think emotionally but come on now. Imagine if we as guys ganged up and emotionally wrecked and insulted a woman when she is alone and helpless.

[–]23gnaixuy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Happy cake day!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck. Thinking about it, this would explain a girl I had a ONS with, don't know if you'd even call it a ONS as I didn't even fuck her. She was the first girl I kissed. Anyway, she gave me 'the talk' the morning after we fooled around. I hard nexted her from that moment on, but never actually made anything clear with her. Maybe I should've in hindsight.

Unfortunately, because she was a friend of a friend, I kept seeing her in our friend group from time to time and she kept on trying to make little hints at me to get 'back with her'. I was having none of it, as I learned by then that she was a fucking borderline psychopath. I kept my distance.

After we kinda kicked her out of our friend group, she ended up spreading a load of lies and made up a load of twisted truths about me that would see me in a negative light for nearly a year. I'd get random calls from her asking "Who is this?", she would randomly follow and unfollow me on Instagram, little covert shit here and there.

It really puts into perspective how much power I really have. I've seriously been undervaluing myself. It's almost like I'm seen as some fucking god to some women.

She really fucked up my perspective on women, sex and relationships from then onwards. I literally thought every woman was like her at for a while. It took a long time to finally be able to be vulnerable again. She really fucked up my opinion of myself too. I suppose I've learned a lot from it, and I'm doing a whole lot better now but damn, this really explains it.

But this poses a question, what do I say to women that I'm not interested in but are deeply in love with me/obsessed with me?

[–]mr_Tobbor7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

She won't care. True.

[–]SpiderAlpha336 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Life is short so you have to next her so that you're unhindered.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]groomsmen123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good attitude

[–]1HurricaneHugues4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you can get rid of her, it means you yourself have options, therefore you're high value. Either way, netting isn't about sending a message, or a least a hard next isn't. It's about removing yourself frying a situation which isn't favorable to your interests.

[–]alphakari5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

First of all, women do have options but they are too afraid to pursue. They dont want to get rejected. So all they know how to do is wait or act slutty.

Second, nexting isnt some manipulation tactic. It doesn't matter whether she cares or not.

Third, girls care about it precisely as much as you would if your LTR who you live with told you she doesn't want to suck dick anymore. Girls game is about acquiring and trivializing commitment. Soft next makes her feel like she both lost your commitment and reminds her that your commitment is tentative on good behavior.

Finally. Girls dont really want the guys she can get easily, but for as orbiters. She wants the guy she feels like she can't replace.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well if your one of a kind. For example 6’2 Jacked handsome and big dick ofcourse shed go crazy when you next her. Those 99 men dont compare

[–]Alzatorus6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

That shit counts less and less as you get older. Later it's more about your aura/presence, frame, health, and how much you bank.

[–]tyalanm0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Health? Can you elaborate?

[–]Alzatorus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gym, lifting, eating well, skin care routine (check out 'The Ordinary' for affordable good products), having outdoor or physically active hobbies, mental stability/consistency (relates heavily to Frame too). All that good stuff.

[–]Dennasidaupp8614 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

You answered your own question in the last sentence.

"Of all the guys that would do Anything to get me, why did HE got away? It most be something special about him. And why didn't he want me? I need to find out..."

[–]masterpiece007 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol that's a delusion and a beta one at that, maybe 15 years ago it was the case, now it's 'oh wow look at all these hunks on Tinder' - orders ubereats, invites gf over and they swipe away and forget everyone before.

[–]_DonDraper_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LMAO, this. Shit is too fast paced now, it's very easy to get distracted with other stuff. Sure, they may feel a bit down and think about you for a few days, but the "I need to find out" part is just very wishful thinking on your side.

[–]etherael7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why would any vendor care if you passed them up for a superior option in light of their competing badly? The answer to that question is more obvious; you don't care why they would care or if they would at all, you just wanted the best available option for yourself and you took it, they can learn from that or think you're crazy or whatever, it doesn't have any effect on your decision.

So, here's an opportunity to learn something about yourself.

Why do you care about why a girl would care if you next her when you don't in the same situation without the underlying implied emotional entanglements?

[–]groomsmen123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only reason I'd care is emotions. So you're right.

[–]Noodlesoupe22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s about you not wasting your time. It has nothing to do with her

[–]empatheticapathetic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Expanding on what Denna just said, we can take our ego out of it but she typically won’t.

[–]RPOpenUp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because you are the price

[–]2redhawkes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who gives a fuck, seriously. As others said, dick is abundant, quality dick is rare. Hypergamy 101.

[–]anicebigrodforyou1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post is pathetic. Can she get another guy like you? Are you a dime a dozen? Make it so she cares when you next her.

[–]IntelligenceLtd0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with the first point but Womens ego is incredibly weak and fragile, they are not nearly as used to getting rejected as men and even if they are (more used to it) they often dont seem to have the mental toughness to deal with it. I know some women whove become quite indignant (if they are attractive even more likely), for all the media trope of rejected men saying stuff like "she must be a lesbian" etc etc Ive actually seen it more commonly the other way around women saying he must be gay or reacting angrily to being rejected sometimes often to the point of self entitlement (My ex partner once got angry at the beginning of our relationship that I was too tired to have sex) she was a feminist and fully unaware of the irony if id been wiser I would have completely logically annihilated her but then again I was tired and we live and learn.

[–]groomsmen123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sure they don't get rejected as often, but let's say a guy finally nexts her after he was tired of her actions. So she's the cause of it ending, she can comprehend why any guy would end it.. in that case would her ego still be weak?

[–]buttgoogler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She won't if you're a low-smv beta dweeb.

[–]theherosmyth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like watching a show when I eat. I have at times sat there for 30 minutes struggling to find something to watch on Netflix as my food turns cold. So I say "fuck it" and watch something I already watched.

Options =/= worthwhile prospects.

Also who gives a shit what she thinks anyway.

[–]Folknust0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn’t but she still wants the ego boosts.

[–]LateralThinker130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All that aside, take your ego out of it.

OUR ego? Wtf?

Given the amount of options any decent looking girl has, why would she care if you get rid of her when she likely has 100 hundred guys waiting?

Ego. Women hate the idea that all men don't want them. It's a form of rejection, which women are horribly bad at handling due to cultural entitlement reasons.

[–]tdreampo-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why do you care if she cares or not?

[–]betatest20202 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

It is a topic for discussion. Being RP doesn’t mean being an a-hole.

[–]tdreampo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How is that being an asshole? You next someone for a reason.

[–]betatest20201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He said why do you care if she cares. You care because you’re human. It doesn’t change your decision, but it is absolutely ok to care and understand human emotions and their impact. All of TRP is understanding the dynamics of relationships.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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