Stats: ~13% BF, 5'9", 176lb, lifts (1RM - 468DL, 379SQ, 203 Bench, 176 OHP). BJJ was twice a week until the lockdowns started. I sourced 380lbs olympic weights, bar, squat rack & bench so the numbers above are my current lifts, not former max which was higher before losing a month of lifting to the 'rona lockdowns.

Reading: I've read most all of the content at this point, many of them multiple times, particularly NMMNG and WISNIFG many times

Finances: Good job, reasonably good side business given the current lockdowns, negligible debt on my part, though my wife still does whatever she wants there

Spiritual: I pray every morning and read scripture to the kids. Weekly zoom prayer meeting with fellas. Always looking for opportunities to share the faith but the past couple months, as everyone knows, has been weird socially.

Well, some of you have followed my various OYS posts. Haven't posted in awhile, though I haven't stopped working. Time through the lockdowns has been pretty productive; sourced gym equipment so I'm able to keep the lifting up. Work wise I've been working from home. I'll be back in OYS it looks like as I have new work to accomplish and direction to go.

Caught my wife facetiming another leader at her recovery group. The tone of the conversation instantly caught my ear, and the laughing and flirtatious conversation immediately put me on alert. This single man has absolutely no reason to have such close discussions with my wife, but she is OK with it. I've wondered about this guy before, but as he's also a realtor and she is one too (yep, they work together) she always blew it off as her coworker. The conversation was CLEARLY not that, although it wasn't overt either, as these things never are.

I remembered my NMMNG, WISNIFG, and strategos_autokrator lessons and assertively and clearly confronted her as soon as she was off and set an explicit boundary - I will not be married to a woman who has relationships with other men like that. The conversations are inappropriate, the relationship is inappropriate, it needs to end. She said she understood.

Well, that was about a month ago. I have since discovered that she didn't stop, she just took it underground. Tone would be fun and quiet in a private room, then when she heard me approaching, she'd go louder and end the call businesslike. He'd call at non-business times, I'd see the incoming call, she'd deny the call and say she didn't need to talk to her coworker right now. Then I'd leave the room and she'd be on the phone in hushed tones again. Nonstop texting day and night. Going to the office for her all day video class that she wasn't paying close attention to at home, turns out he was taking the same class and also there. Taking "listing" pictures for him for 5 hours only 20 minutes from here. The old phone protectiveness never went away (she's known him since she was filing for divorces so..) Collected a bunch of other evidence as well but that's not the point of this post - bottom line she went underground with it in a display of deceit.

I confronted her about it three nights ago. Asked her politely to completely end the relationship and the deception/lies of commission and omission. She refused. Said he's a "close friend" (remember, he was just a coworker before) of two and a half years, she's put her life on hold for this family and she's "not going back to that", whatever "that" means; I didn't ask. Said she lied about it because I would be jealous. I said I understood and that I'm done, I want out, won't stay married to someone who has a boyfriend. I know I talked too much - I should have just done it instead of talking, but old habits die hard I guess, and I definitely talked less than I once would have.

So, I'm looking for a rental (we have a bunch of kids, so I need to find a house ideally, and the rental market here is really not very large for what I need, but I'll find something) and working on the legalities, which I probably should have prepared ahead of time.

I was thinking this morning that if this had happened 3 years ago I think I would have not had the dignity to say goodbye. I would have accepted it under some sort of buffer excuse that cited being Christlike and waiting on God and being willing to forgive or something despite there being no change because I wouldn't have felt I had more options.

I do continue to pray that God might regenerate her and blast her with repentance here at the end, but absent some miraculous repentance down to the bones sort of event - I'm able to know that I don't have to be alone, but I can abound there or with someone, because I've got the Father, and that's OK. I'm able to know that I am actually a prize and have value and worth. I know that I need to get my head straight still after all this; even with the improvements I've seen, this choice on her part is a gut punch, but it's not really a surprising one after all the stuff of the past.

So I'm thankful for the materials and wisdom you guys have put together in all of this. They really changed the course of my life. Looking forward to getting back in OYS.