Is female sexuality inherently narcissistic?

87AudreyHorne · 2020-06-08T07:21:36+00:00

Mine is. I get turned on by the idea of a man being madly turned on by my looks. Cant speak for all women though

This doesnt translate into me being attracted to the female body, I dont react at all to other women. I dont even like most feminine physical features

Even in conversation, I am.more amused by the guy being fascinated with me than I am affected by him impressing me

Silly_Field · 2020-06-08T04:20:15+00:00

Yeah, I relate to that a bit. But I also find my partners hot and am attracted to them or what they’re doing.

I think women just aren’t encouraged to have their own desire/women are so objectified and men never are. It’s easier to think of yourself as an object of desire than it is to think of him as that way. And women don’t like to sound shallow so ‘I just love seeing his desire’ probably goes over better than ‘God his abs’ you know?

The men here seem to get it tbh. They have such feminine/vain mindsets. The whole place is full of complaints about having to play a dominant masculine role & the fantasy seems to be a woman who is so turned on by them she jumps their bones. The whole thing reads like a power fantasy that’s more about validation of attractiveness than the other person.

bythegrapevines · 2020-06-08T11:11:20+00:00

For me, absolutely. The thought of a man (who I find attractive of course) wanting me so bad that he can’t help but ravish me turns me on like nothing else.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-06-08T04:42:17+00:00

I don’t think that’s necessarily narcissistic, I’m no psychologist but I’d wager that has more to do with a woman’s natural role during sex, ie being submissive, being the object of her partners desire etc

relish5k · 2020-06-08T03:46:21+00:00

For me I think it has a lot to do with borrowing the male mindset in sex scenarios. I used to read a lot of smutty novels as a teen and them at all stuck with me. So for me, seeing a sexy woman in a clearly sexually provocative way doesn't do it for me because of her and her physical attractiveness, but the aura of sex around it and what it implies.

Also no, I don't get turned on by looking at myself just in a mirror lol. But sex with mirrors can be fun because it amplifies the overall...sexiness of the situation? If that makes sense?

So again, less so narcissism, more so having a brain that's been trained to view women as sex objects.

the_purring_jew · 2020-06-08T07:35:27+00:00

Its almost like TRP has a concept of "female solipsism"

aspiringdruglord · 2020-06-08T06:03:08+00:00

Not much in that thread is relatable to me. I'm either indifferent to women's bodies or actively turned off by them depending on the body type. How much a woman's body resembles my own in particular makes no difference and I have no desire to see a stand-in for myself in porn scenarios. Porn for me is purely voyeuristic visual aid I guess, not fuel for a fantasy that involves me. I prefer gay porn to hetero, visual or written.

The idea of looking at myself in the mirror while fapping or having sex is just funny to me. I could never get turned on by anything with myself in it. I might imagine actions while fantasizing but only in relation to the man and how he'd react/his arousal/what he's doing, not just inherently getting turned on by the idea of myself doing things.

Reisiluu · 2020-06-08T11:38:03+00:00

I like to imagine his physical reactions to what I'm doing to him and his mental struggle to hold back. I don't get turned on by thinking of or looking at myself.

ItsTheHardCockLife · 2020-06-08T10:41:26+00:00

There is no such thing as "female sexuality", and the constant thing one sees of females being more turned on by pictures of females in "western" society is because "western" society hardly ever produces pictures of beautiful males; they did it in the boyband era however where the males where actually meant to be "beautiful" and the response was obvious.

It doesn't seem to be a problem in East-Asian societies; male pop stars and the lot are actually selected for their beauty.

Most male "western" film stars and pop singers aren't actually beautiful—perhaps they're actually selected for their... acting ability and ability to sing? But it does show an interesting difference in that the female ones are clearly selected for their beauty.

There are a couple famous exampless like Orlando Bloom, or Leonardo DiCaprio when younger, or all those that played in Twilight that were noted for their beauty, and the female response to them was obvious. But Hugh Jackman, Samuel Jackson, Tom Cruise and whatever just aren't beautiful, they were selected for their acting ability I would assume, and they don't the hordes of female fangirls that Orlando Bloom had when younger as a consequence.

I mean.... Ron Jeremy got to be a male porn star... I guess male porn stars are selected on their stamina or something.

When you consume a lot of eastern media you quickly notice the difference in responses by the female fanbase.

PlainISeeYou · 2020-06-08T17:01:31+00:00

It is common for women to have to imagine themselves as being ultra beautiful even in our sexual fantasies because our entire lives, we have been told we’re worthless otherwise. That’s not “narcissism”, that’s cultural misogyny. No such psychological need has been found for men to distance themselves mentally from their real bodies in their sexual fantasies, even men who look like literal toads. But yeah, women hating our bodies to our core is “narcissism”. Up is down, black is white.

GennyX · 2020-06-08T07:54:09+00:00

I can’t say this has been my experience, really.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-06-08T17:13:56+00:00

When I have sex I am constantly alternating between how I look to men & how they look to me

PlanetSquare · 2020-06-09T06:34:11+00:00

Well I'm a lesbian but I would say it depends?

I do find myself imagining myself as the woman when I watch porn and I do often seek out videos that has a women that looks similar to me to help aid my imagination, though I don't always do this. I also enjoy just admiring the beauty of other women and I enjoy solo and straight porn because I like seeing the women get pleasured and the way their bodies move and the faces they make, their voices, etc.

I also enjoy reading porn occasionally and I will often put myself into the shoes of the main character unless their actions are really dumb or too unlike what I would usually do, but I don't usually enjoy reading porn with a main character that I can't relate to.

I don't usually get turned on my photos alone, but on the rare occasion that it does spark something, it's definitely being more attracted to them and not be imagining myself or whatever.

I also find myself sexually attractive though, and that's probably vain but I don't entirely care. Though that doesn't mean that I'm getting off to myself while engaging in sexual activity with someone else. For me it's more like, I check myself out when I walk by the mirror and admire my own body often.

Mimoxs · 2020-06-08T04:22:33+00:00

No, it's bc female sexuality is far less about visuals than male sexuality, it's largely feeling, hence why they imagine themselves.

Also male sexuality quite literally revolves around the ego, according to psychology

analt223 · 2020-06-08T04:53:06+00:00

yes and its probably part of the reason why hetero women watch lesbian porn. They want their bodies.

It seems both men and women objectify women

NarniaFox · 2020-06-08T04:44:30+00:00

I think one of the reasons why it's so common is that women are sexualized far more than men. We're used to see women as sexual objects/beings and it's easier to appreciate their beauty and sexuality.

Personally, I can fantasize about women, but it's all about senses. How soft her skin is, how she smells, tastes. But I'm bi and I'm married to a man. Dealing with men, I don't fantasize about men "in general", I recollect or imagine sex with my husband, how I was feeling during it.

SaBahRub · 2020-06-08T04:52:17+00:00

No, I don’t want to fuck myself.

darkdavinci91 · 2020-06-08T14:37:33+00:00

You need the internet to tell you that they are 90% ego? Lol

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gaylord_fag_3 · 2020-06-08T10:24:03+00:00

I feel like a man most of the time but when I imagine sex I become a woman in my mind so it might be true. Or it might just be me being a submissive. Idk. It's also some kind of arousal trigger to be reminded I'm a woman not a man. Especially the phrase 'real man' (as homo as that sounds) because it makes me dysphoric & feel lesser until I finally feel like a woman. Usually the womaness is already evidenced in him touching me. These are fantasies btw, I've never been dominated before. So yes my fantasies can be autogynephilic even though I'm female bodied.

However when I'm not feeling submissive my fantasies don't include me visualizing my own female body as much. Either I'm just a guy in the fantasy or I'm imagining how I would touch him without thinking of my own body much at all besides hands/mouth because that's what I'm using on him (or her or them).

2020-06-08T13:31:27+00:00

Well... I personally wouldn’t really know, since I’m ace

bonobo-no · 2020-06-08T18:28:46+00:00

Sounds like autogynephilia.

piripoca · 2020-06-08T19:28:16+00:00

I don't relate to this at all. I love to look at my boyfriend and feel his body. I think I'm hot but I'm not attracted to myself. I had no idea about the mirror thing. Also I'm bisexual, if that makes a difference.

MissDeeee · 2020-06-08T20:21:29+00:00

Honestly, I wouldn’t say this is an ego thing at all. In my opinion, women have to use there imagination more during sex then a man. I will explain;

For the most part, men get to see everything during sex. Mainly because of most positions a guy gets to watch what is happening.

As a women, I do not have that luxury even when using different positions. Our face is usually far away from the action. And we don’t get to see much of the act.

So yes, I visualize my self with my bf and how much he’s loving what we are doing.

It’s not because it’s an ego thing, but why would I picture anyone else??

gone_on_one · 2020-06-08T22:08:14+00:00

My fantasies revolve around people connecting in different scenarios. I like to imagine women sexualizing me. And men sexualizing other men. Gay junk 😞

GroundSloth123 · 2020-06-10T14:33:46+00:00

It depends on if I’m getting busy with myself or with someone else.

When I masturbate I rarely think about another person, or watch porn, look at pictures, any of that. It’s just about me and my lady business having a time together. I guess maybe that’s a little narcissistic, but isn’t masturbation kind of narcissistic by definition? I also know women for whom this is not the case.

When I’m having sex with someone else, whether male or female, I get WAY more sexual gratification from making the other person satisfied than from my own satisfaction. I would rather not finish than have the other person not finish. In my experience men particularly have been bothered by this more than anything, because sometimes it means I can be “in the mood” but legitimately not feel like having an orgasm, which means I won’t even if I try, and a lot of men don’t understand it and take it personally.

Also the girl in the comment you posted might just be a tiny bit gay. That’s not narcissistic. Girls are hot and maybe she thinks so too.

sweetlittleflower · 2020-06-11T01:26:12+00:00

Yes it's true!

There was a study that showed that heterosexual women were more aroused at photos of nude women than nude men, I think the "most women are bisexual" thing is actually true if you define bisexuality as "being turned on by both men and women". However, most of these women consider themselves straight and not bi because:

1) They're hetero-romantic. They don't get crushes on girls or want to date girls like they do to men.

2) Despite the sight of the female form sparking arousal, the thought of performing sexual acts on other women, such as cunnilingus, isn't really appealing.

So if they don't want to date other women or have sex with them, than they're pretty much straight. But I do genuinely think that most straight women get turned on by the visual of the female body to some degree.

And 100% when I masturbate, I tend to imagine myself - myself being kissed, touched, penetrated etc., not the man. I think this is common, if not the default, among women.

This is why although you see women masturbating to porn, you don't really see women collecting nude photos of men's bodies and masturbating to them like men to do women. Because often while watching porn, you're empathizing with the pleasure the woman is (or seems to be) experiencing, rather than looking at the man as the object of the sexual fantasy. The focus is the woman.

This is also why porn statistics show that lesbian porn is the most popular category among heterosexual women, because it's the only kind of porn where the focus is female pleasure. That, along with women's bodies just having more visual sexual appeal.

It doesn't mean I don't get turned on by men, because I do, but even then it's often in relation to myself. For example, I like watching some solo male porn videos but what I mostly like is the audio/dirty talk of what the guy wants to do (to a woman) and imagine those thing being done to me. Or I might get turned on by nice masculine hands, because I imagine what those hands could do to me. The focus of my sexual fantasies tends to be myself.

I do sometimes get aroused by myself, sometimes I masturbate to the thought of my own body and often I record myself having an orgasm, and then masturbate to the sounds. The thought/memory of myself being in such a pleasurable state gets me off. However, I don't think this is really prevalent among women like the other things I've mentioned above.

I think it's really interesting how this aspect of female sexuality almost disturbs you and you describe it as egotistical, narcissistic, vain. I can see why you'd think that. The reason I think it's interesting is because I used to so bothered - almost depressed - about how male sexuality inherently objectified women's bodies.

Like when a man watches porn, he is reducing the women to a sexual object. And even if men aren't watching porn, they think of some woman - or just the female body. Even in ancient times, there were carvings of the female form. I was so disturbed that objectifying the female body was tied with male sexuality - they were one and the same. I thought female sexuality was so much "purer" because we didn't have to objectify male bodies like that, and could just imagine the pleasure we would experience during sex.

So you saying that female sexuality seems more "wrong" being narcissistic, is really interesting to me as it offers a different perspective. I guess neither male or female sexuality is necessarily "purer", it depends on perspective.

Pola_Lita · 2020-06-08T10:41:45+00:00

Apparently, during a sexual fantasy, most women will get turned on by imagining themselves, how their body would move and react in sexual situations instead of focusing on the attractiveness of the man. This is not the male sexual desire at all, in which the focus will be one the woman.

Are you basing this idea on a Reddit sub thread? That doesn't seem very realistic to me. Why do you consider that POV as authoritative?

I've also heard that a decent number of women sometimes look at themselves and get turned on by themselves during masturbation. To the women of PPD, is this true? Because I feel that it is rather vain and narcissistic. I'd feel insecure as fuck if I know the person who's having sex with me is getting off to themselves rather than at me.

I think it's both common and sensible to look at one's genitals while masturbating. Can you offer any reasons as to why it's vain and narcissistic? It's masturbation, after all.

Male - female sex involves a male body and a female body. TWO types of bodies. One feels sensations while the other creates them for the first one to feel. I think you'd have to work pretty hard to conclude that the visual of only one of those bodies should be of interest to either person.

AdolfGandi · 2020-06-08T16:52:33+00:00

Yes.

Title	Is female sexuality inherently narcissistic?
Author	Requiemforthemass
Upvotes	16
Comments	174
Date	June 8, 2020 3:40 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gyr8a5/is_female_sexuality_inherently_narcissistic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-female-sexuality-inherently-narcissistic.671585 https://theredarchive.com/post/671585

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