TheRedArchive needs help
With 700,000+ posts and 16,000,000+ comments archived, and new Red Pill content being added every week, keeping TheRedArchive alive and discoverable to everyone is starting to become very costly. As a 20-year-old student who just moved out and is living independently for the first time, keeping TheRedArchive alive is beginning to cost me much more than I thought.

Therefore, if you appreciate the website, have gained a lot of knowledge and insight from it, and want to show your appreciation, you can do so by donating any amount that you want via the options below. The money will be used on the expensive monthly host bill and any future maintenance of the website.
Thank you, and I wish you all a successful 2021 and a good luck with achieving your goals and dreams!

Best, /u/dream-hunter

Let it die? She’s gone cold, no contact for 7 days now.

Reddit View
June 9, 2020
70 upvotes

I noticed my LTR was starting to get cold. she now take longer time to reply my message, even some times leaves me on read. She now doesn’t try to text me whole day until I initiate the first text message.

It all started last week week Tuesday. No message from her until about 3pm and she sent a GIF with no comment. For the first text of the the day I just felt why couldn’t she put more effort ? At least say Anything. So I didn’t reply back with anything.. just ignored.

No message again from her until about 1:30am when she sent me “I’m going to sleep” I replied “okay goodnight” and that has been all till today, 7days later. She normally visits me every Thursday and we bang or go out together.... but last Thursday she didn’t show up.. and this coming Thursday I’m sure she wound not show up again if I don’t message her.

I know her very well and we’ve been in the relationship for 5 years. I’m not needy but I know she’s gone cold..

A part of me is telling me to text her and other part telling me to just leave her and see where it goes..

Don’t want to say too much but i will appreciate any advice from all you here..


Post Information
Title Let it die? She’s gone cold, no contact for 7 days now.
Author magicm222
Upvotes 70
Comments 172
Date 09 June 2020 01:33 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/672225
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gzn8dt/let_it_die_shes_gone_cold_no_contact_for_7_days/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship
Comments

[–]flacko_red158 points159 points  (12 children) | Copy

If she’s playing hard to get, remember that there is someone who she is trying hard to get.

[–]Longgbottom22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Golden words

[–]NightTerror64 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could also just be a fitness test to make sure he’s not too attached.

[–]magicm222[S] 4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

I don’t understand

[–]i-am-the-prize59 points60 points  (2 children) | Copy

if she's gone cold with you, it's because someone else is giving her 'tingles'. either outright fucking, or she's thinking about them, now, instead of you.

if you haven't already begun getting your Game polished and ready for action, start shining...

[–]1DonaldBaelish3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

By the looks of this post, his game is probably dead.

[–]i-am-the-prize1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

like Miracle Max says, maybe he's just "mostly dead" (?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbE8E1ez97M

[–]vwowv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

One strategy is to hit the gym and wonder there. Two weeks later you will be on a high or at least medium instead of a doubled down low

[–]pimptendo2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's trying hard to get someone therefore she plays hard to get. If I understood that right.

[–]i-am-the-prize20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

no, it means OP is no longer her Prize. she is focusing her energy and interest on someone else.

remember, branch-swinging 101: she wants to ensure a firm grip on branch #2 before letting go of branch #1. OP is branch #1, and right now, she's solidifying her grip on the next guy...

[–]MagnetoWned1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Interesting take. Question, my LTR was “playing hard to get” teasing me saying “you really think we’re gonna fuck tonight” the other night and she’s never done that before. I see her 1-2x a week and we fuck nearly every time. I played it like a shit test and just ignored it and did my thing. An hour later we fucked twice and went to bed. I felt it was a shit test she was trying to see if I’d become a bitch if she withheld sex. What do you think?

[–]_the_shape_4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes, shit test indeed. You have to strike a balance between not stressing it, but keeping your eye on the overall pattern of your relationship. If those childish little games begin to add up, step back, and honestly look at the entire picture. Could it be you? Are you slacking in some area of your life? Or is it possible it's her, in which case you must begin to remind yourself that this ride is bound to come to an end at some point ("she's not your's; it's only your turn")

Enjoy it while it lasts, but never lose sight of the price you're paying for her 'services'. Once the cost grows too great and/or you're getting a raw deal in return, it's time to at least begin to consider moving on instead of trying to renegotiate your terms (another reminder: "attraction can never be negotiated").

[–]MagnetoWned2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

👌👌 excellent. Thank you

[–]gleeeshy179 points180 points  (47 children) | Copy

happened to me albeit with a plate, not an LTR. I just asked her why she is acting so uninteresting. She responded "just doing my thing homeboy, youre paranoid"

obviously trying to gaslight me, as she had gone from hot to completely cold on me. I blocked her on everything and she texts me literally an hour later "What the fuck did I do wrong"

to which I replied "Doing nothing wrong is not enough to keep my interest, its more about doing everything right, which you did not. Wish you the best"

My endgoal was not to get her back, I said how I really feel. As a man you are the prize, if a girl does something that you feel wronged you, next.

[–]Warren_Bateman152 points153 points  (14 children) | Copy

”just doing my thing homeboy”...

When she starts using bro language, it’s dead

[–]_nein_danke39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I fuckin hated that, tryna use explicitly laid back language to juxtapose his apparent alarm and rattled state. She needs nexting IMO.

[–]mrheh4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, every time.

[–]lilgoatedboy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That's not entirely true, if you see my post a girl who i hadn't hooked up with or even hung out with yet was calling me bro etc over text. Ended up being my plate for a while. Might be different with an already current plate though.

[–]mrheh5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's different when you've been in a relationship with someone for a while and they've never spoken like that before. It's a way for them to be cold a distant and show you a side they have yet to show you.

[–]lilgoatedboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That makes sense.

[–]1DonaldBaelish-4 points-3 points  (8 children) | Copy

You new guys totally miss the point of shit tests.

[–]vwowv3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

When a bitch calls me bro she can suck someone elses dick. If I'm butt hurt I'll go lift till the butt hurt is gone unless I'm doing glutes.

[–]gleeeshy1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

No YOU are totally missing the point. I DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HER, SO I MADE IT SO SHE COULDNT REACH ME. My God, are you simple? I could not give less of a fuck about her agenda, tests, game, whatever. She lost my interest, so I hard nexted, if she was testing me or not is irrelevant. I have multiple posts reach 300+ upvotes and spur great discussion on the MAIN theredpill sub, and some cuck who finds self confidence in passing a womans little tests is coming on askTRP, the retarded bastard child of a sub I once loved, and calling me a new guy, just nice.

[–]1DonaldBaelish-3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Upvotes don’t mean a thing here, son. Feedback from Endorsed members and Senior members do, however. The betas here outnumber the alphas.

You literally missed the point. This comment isn’t even about you. This comment is about some guy claiming how if a plate calls you bro, then things are already dead. Yet it’s just a simple shit test. If a plate called me bro and I decided to dump her with no other underlying issues, I’m just a moron who doesn’t know how to manage his bitches. Read HumanSockPuppet’s guide for managing bitches.

Again this comment isn’t even about you. The mere fact that you went on the offensive so hard to even call me a cuck only tells me that you suffered some kind of trauma. And it’s probably never getting the attention you so craved as a child from either mommy or daddy, since you decided to tell me how many upvotes you have and how you help start discussions on the main sub.

You’re very insecure, kid. Go back to your room, get a piece of paper and write down all your insecurities. Then start working on them one by one by simultaneously reading the sidebar.

[–]gleeeshy1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, you have internet idols, sad. I'm done with this thread now and I'm not reading past the first page of the book you sent me

[–]1DonaldBaelish0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

🤦‍♂️

[–]gleeeshy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

See I don't give a fuck about some endorsed member or what anyone else on this sub has to say. I come here to share info, you come here to absorb it like a child. That's the difference between you and me. why in the hell would I bother reading some other guys post on managing girls or reading your splurge comment when everything I'm doing is already working for me?

I like to have discussion here, but the insinuation that anyone here could teach me something is dumb, because when it comes to relationships, I'm exactly where I want to be

[–]_nein_danke0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There was a lot more to her shift in language than just a shit test. Also, when a woman goes super cold on you I highly doubt she’s bothered enough to shit test you anymore, she’s done already.

In this example this is not a shit test, it’s a pressure flip in order to justify her monkey branching. And definitely not a playful flip either.

[–]Warren_Bateman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your mileage may vary

[–]MrAnderzon20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

You said the key phrase. It’s whatever you feel that’s wrong.

[–]magicm222[S] 42 points43 points  (1 child) | Copy

Solid OP.

[–]CasaDeFranco51 points52 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your relationship was a plant, it would be dead.

This ride is over. Pull the trigger before she does.

End it politely and go no contact once the logistics are done.

[–]sleep24x78 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

Would’ve been so fun if you’d have replied to her asking what she’d done wrong by saying “just doing my thing, we’re done.”

[–]gleeeshy10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

Weirdly, that exact thought did cross my mind. At the end of the day I felt it would be best to quit playing games with her. Like I said, she wronged me by trying to play hard to get/go cold. Repeating her phrase would have just confirmed I was butthurt. Instead I said exactly how I felt, which always works for me. Again, my response was not a tool to get her back, I genuinely didn't want her back. As soon as I feel a girl playing games, it's over. Because beating them at the game they evolved to play is simply too much work for the return

[–]sleep24x71 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That’s fair. I like to have fun with words when I can and wouldn’t have cared if someone else thought I was butthurt.

Either way, you did the right thing in this situation, so good on you.

[–]vwowv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It has that dopamine pop, but leaves you feeling/looking angry, needy, butthurt, yada

[–]mrheh0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

As soon as I feel a girl playing games, it's over. Because beating them at the game they evolved to play is simply too much work for the return

This is a very good point and applies to many things in life not just relationships with women.

[–]gleeeshy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. In business it is actually more nuanced With women, which are a side priority, it should and a always a 100% thing for me. Either she gives the effort or there is no offort

[–]TacoMedic4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Na, repeating her phrase would tell you’re just butthurt. It was already over, but this confirms it. What OP did was ensure that she won’t do it again for the next dude that she gets with.

[–]vwowv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like that, but I'm trying to get away from dopamine pop stuff, it just makes you weak and impulsive. My frame is pretty good till I start teetering with doling out clever insults.

[–]TRP_Scepter6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is awesome.

[–]TuhTodayJr6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Beast response

[–]SICFJC4 points5 points  (14 children) | Copy

You sound butthurt after she told you she wasn’t interested

[–]gleeeshy6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Uhh she clearly was or she would have never felt the need to respond to me cutting her off. You might be 17 or something but girls go cold on you, it's a fact of life, I'm not butthurt about any of them. I just don't deal with it

[–]natensk6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not really, he just didn’t want to take the bull shit.

[–]umizumiz6 points7 points  (11 children) | Copy

"blocked her on everything"

lmao what a prize

[–]gleeeshy12 points13 points  (10 children) | Copy

Look man, there are 2 trains of thought here. If you wanna keep an annoying bitch unblocked in case she wants to fuck you in the future, go for it. For me it really is a thing where once she pisses me off I never wanna see her again. At that point there is no worry about being beta or being hurt or whatever, IDGAF how I come off to her because I genuinely never wanted to talk to her again.

[–]ev3rynightfireworks1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Respect, do you. I would have just slowly ghosted and not taken the bait. This way they really can’t talk shit and have an idea in their ego they can def get you back but I respect it all the same. 5 years is a long time

[–]gleeeshy4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup ghosting is the most common response here and it is effective. Blocking is reserved for girls that I just want blocked. There is no more thinking to it than that. There doesn't need to be rationale. If I want to never hear from her again, I won't, and that's de facto, the end, period

[–]1DonaldBaelish0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Once a person pisses you off, you never wanna see them again?

Who hurt you, son?

[–]gleeeshy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A person? No. Not my mom, my sister, my dad, my lifelong friends. You are equating some random fuck-hole to any other relevant person in my life, which is a false equivalency .

Yes, when some useless plate that I use for the purpose of enjoyment and getting my dick wet is no longer enjoyable, she's gone, forever.

[–]NightTerror6-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

That’s just your anger and damaged pride. I know because I’ve been there myself.

[–]gleeeshy1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

All you did was admit you would act this way out of anger and damaged pride. For me it was neither of those, as stated I have other plates, and I simply wanted nothing to do with this one. No need to call yourself out like that, and no need to try to project your own insecurities onto me

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Man your posts here really inspired me.

Everybody who is saying like this is some Beta behaving and shit like that has their own story in their mind.

I was with that girl the other day and everything went perfect. After that I thanked her via Text for the night and didn't got a response afterwards.

She replied back and said that it was too much for her. At this time she is playing hard to get and not responding back on purpose. (But is watching all my social media stories).

I told her, that I was still interested and would like to meet her again and go things slowly then.

Then, a few hours later I read your stuff u/gleeeshy and sent another text to her:
"To be honest, I changed my mind, I am only interested in people, who are interested in me and I haven't got it from you"

EITHER SHE IS FULLY THERE OR NOT, there is no inbetween.

And you know what? Being honest about this made me feel so much better about myself. I am not going to play those psycho games with girls, fuck that.

[–]gleeeshy3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

YES man. Once you convey tl this to one girl, that you are the prize, it becomes so much easier. congrats on getting the first one out of the way, because you know what, you have so much more to offer than sex if you build yourself right, and that's all she will ever offer, is sex. You are a fucking man, and it's better to be alone than being gamed along. You will see this fully in time, and appreciate yourself for deflecting all.the girls that wanted to waste your time dragging you on a line

Be prepared for her to not respond, or to crack and beg. Those are her 2 options. Either way, she has fucked up, and by gaming you, is not worth your time. The betas here will tell you that you have to pursue, but you don't. Eventually the girls will pursue you, trust that

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Thanks to you man, thanks to your posts.

I am a very happy man, but sometimes, over the long time, being too alone without girls make me feel not that very well. I still have to learn to be completely happy with just being with myself.

If girls reject me, I still feel that I am not worthy as a man / get replaced by other dudes - and then I am thinking like, wtf am I lacking, what the other dudes have? Maybe you have an answer to that?

[–]NightTerror6-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

lmao

[–]NightTerror60 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Not sure why you texted her that in the beginning

[–]gleeeshy0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Because I wanted to? Is this really so hard for you plebs to understand? Or do you literally base every interaction you have on obtaining pussy?

[–]NightTerror6-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s what we’re talking about here.

[–]harmonicpinch92 points93 points  (0 children) | Copy

Life’s too short for this kind of stuff. Ask her what the deal is. If her answer is anything less than satisfactory, end it right there and move on.

[–]desvenlafax[🍰] 31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

Time to prepare your plates

[–]TheRedApprentice57 points58 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everything I had to know is in the title.

She's gone cold

People don't "go cold" when there's nothing wrong, or even when it's something fixable.

No contact for 7 days now

For an LTR? Yeah, that's weird. It's over, man.

[–]snehehsb78 points79 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are in a LTR for 5 years and only meet once a month? Sounds like you are her plate.

[–]natasgetbehindme24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

I second this.

[–]Mad at ModsFusionnn22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

Download tinder and start lining up her replacement, she's been checked out of of this relationship for a long time probably months now, maybe even a year, and it's just starting to show now. She's already got your replacement lined up, sorry but the truth hurts. Forget about her completely and go do your own thing for a while, if she comes back great but if she doesn't you didn't lose anything of value

[–]CartographerLopsided0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Hust dont do the first move

[–]CareIsMight17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

If my LTR goes afk for more than 1 day then I know something up. Last time it happened her parents split up. I can't imagine going 7 days. After 3 I would've given her a call at least to see what's wrong. I'd find it disrespectful. I don't want to forecast the weather but after 7 days... That is like a hurricane and a half. I wouldn't end it immediately, perhaps ask her what's up, and you feel like ending it then end it. 7 days is total disrespect, and it's likely she has moved on. That's the tough thing about women when they branch swing. Even in LTRs. Men can become complacent. I'm not saying that you became complacent because I don't fully understand your situation and therefore can only (improperly) assume things. And with such distance, only once per week, I don't know if she mentioned it or not but it probably didn't satisfy her needs. If you feel like the trust and honesty is gone then I think that should be a good indicator for you to as you make your next decision on how to go about things. Good luck.

[–]ImBiButClaimImStr850 points51 points  (7 children) | Copy

In my opinion she's either talking to someone else or she's playing hard which means she lost interest

What an annoying ass bitch

[–]magicm222[S] 48 points49 points  (5 children) | Copy

She talking to someone else.. my guts .

[–]Inyox12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man happened to me, her ex came back into the picture. It’s always someone else

[–]obilitez1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Move on bro. Remember, you are the prize

[–]TWDfanuk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, if she starts talking to you less and less it means someone else is getting her attention instead

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're doing exactly what a woman does, worrying about their place in the relationship. As a man, if you don't know what your place is, it's beneath her. Her muff in your ass.

No message is the message. Don't answer tidbits like "going to sleep" after no contact. That was her way of reeling you in again for some more attention. Guaranteed if you ignored it she would have come back with some more bait and then the situation would have reversed in which case you demote her for this behavior.

[–]silvereddi2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This 100%

[–]SalporinRP8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

No contact for 7 days in an LTR is a next

[–]cracksniffer6668 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

"watch what they do, not what they say"

[–]brokendoorknob12331 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

So okay it is pretty difficult to give an objectively decent piece of advice here given that we dont see into your relationship. So I will go with the classic ones, and let's see if you can make use of some of them or not.

  1. She lost attraction for you

This is the most common one in an Ltr. The fact that you have been together for 5 years makes this worse too. You became habitual. You became constant. And on top of this, take a good look at yourself in a mirror and ask yourself: are you at the top of your life right now? Are you fit? Have you got status/good looks/anything that should make her interested in staying with you?

  1. You lost frame around her

Other than becoming a fat lazy slob, a lot of men commit this error of momentarily losing frame in a relationship. Maybe you freaked out bad because of something and cried. Maybe she saw your weakest point etc. In this case, it is very hard to gain back respect altough not impossible, especially if your girl is smart (I am not by any means implying that you can negotiate attraction, all I am saying is that if she is smart she will understand that crying or breaking down in front of her because of a big thing (like a parent's death) is understandable and you can recover your frame from it).

  1. She found someone more alpha than you

Now this is the jolly joker. You cannot really avoid this. If she finds a quality alpha male (like a celebrity or smg) she will branch swing on to his board, and welcome him like Ay Ay my Captain! You can try to prevent this by maintaining a high smv and being alpha all the time, but if the alpha is good enough and he has good game, she will give you up.

[–]jammyjam505 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

5 years together and you dont feel free to just talk about it with her? You're living off signals and guesses in between communicating by text messaging? Bro. You got nothing there. This is communication level that a person has with a chick he just met a week ago. Not 5 years LTR ago. Bro. You got nothing there because you never had anything there all along.

[–]super--su11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your turn is over, move on..

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (5 children) | Copy

If she doesn't show up on Thursday to bang. Send her the “we’re done” text. Block, and never look back. I always feel way better leaving shit on my terms.

Best of luck man.

[–]mediandirt16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Girls need closure. Not men. This is the right idea but overall bad advice. Be a man who can control his emotions, don't block her, and don't message her. It matters not what she thinks. She already knows its over so just act like it. Don't wimp out and message. Stoicism. This is how you get them to return some day and if they don't, who cares. Outcome independence.

[–]SavorThePill17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

Men don't need closure, but men are also straight up. Yes to controlling your emotions, but reaching out to indicate severance isn't in itself an emotional gesture. Same with blocking--it controls the stimuli in your life and puts up a barrier; blocking can be done out of rationality, but I will concede that it can also be done emotionally. It all really depends on intent.

Your method of dissolving the relationship is your style. There's not really a de facto "manly" way of doing it (although there are certainly ways to do it wrong). What I do know is that historically speaking a venerated man is forthright and deliberate. Men tell people what's up, they traditionally haven't operated in the gray areas of vagueness. I suppose mixing new age thought with traditionalism gets you that...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on

[–]mediandirt-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is controlling the stimuli to use your actions, rather then words, to convey that something is done.

Blocking is a weak way of communicating. It shows you are not strong enough to stem communication should it arise. A fear of falling into their frame. The ability to be assaulted and still stand firm and resolute is a much more difficult thing to accomplish though.

Yes, men tell those around them what's up. But not through words, texts, or blocking someone. They do it through action. There is nothing vague about stopping communication. Let women hamster and let men speak through action. Silence and a soft next speaks more then blocking, of that I have no doubt.

[–]yumyumgivemesome5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn’t deserve that kind of closure.

[–]_nein_danke4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This happened to me in an LTR and sadly was a sign from her that things were done. I was BP as fuck at the time and it rattled my mental health and anxiety.

Act and think as if it’s done, DO NOT keep trying to get answers. Go completely cold on her and go do something fun (depending on your C-19 lockdown situation).

[–]phe2020pg404 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

This has happened to me before. My honest advice is start looking for her replacement(s) and find something to focus on to self improve and keep you busy. You’re becoming needy. Why? because you don’t have anything interesting or of worth in your life. No major project, business, career move or something awesome you’re working on. She can sense you’re becoming needy. She can see there’s nothing more to you (maybe you’ve stoped improving). You can also sense it yourself which is why you’re acting needy. For me it made me stronger. I realized that I was letting my ego get in the way. Whenever I would ask her why she was acting distant she would deflect and say nothings wrong or ‘if you miss me then why don’t you text me first?’ She was playing mind games. I eventually ghosted the bitch. No explanation. Don’t let these women do this to you. This is an opportunity to learn true abundance mentality and idaf attitude. If she doesn’t text you then cool. Start working on something. Start hitting up other women.Find a way to improve yourself and lastly (and this is the most important and hardest part) be prepared to lose her! Don’t let your ego get in the way of this one. You need to realize that you can replace her. I’ve been where you were at OP. Trust the process. Losing her might be one of the best things to happen to you. This is only if you ask her if everything is ok and she deflects (she might genuinely be going through something). Make you’re asking from a place of abundance though.

[–]Empirismus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What a great thing I've just read!

[–]Stupyyy4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She left the boat buddy, it's over.

[–]MrAnderzon14 points15 points  (12 children) | Copy

You are to predictable, no mystery or in her mind BORING. Make a girl have every emotion except boring. She shows up every Thursday to bang = Predictable

She sent you a gn text at 1am and you responded. Every text doesn’t need a response.

CH Golden 2/3 Rule. For every 3 variations of I love you from her you give 2 back. For every 3 texts you send 2 back. It’s called a golden rule for a reason.

[–]ImBiButClaimImStr89 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

He could have done everything right and this shit still could had happen.

Why? Because that's what LTR's are and that's how female nature is. Sometimes the guy didn't do anything wrong, it is what it is.

That's why most red pill guys can't be fucked with ltrs.

[–]magicm222[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’ve threatened to breakup with her 3 times before.. she cried like a child who lost her father.. begged me to be soft on, and when I try to be soft she gets back to doing shitty behavior again. I’m sick..

[–]natasgetbehindme5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shitty behaviour is a failed shit test. You’ll catch shit for failing them. Namesake. Don’t be soft. Even if they say they want it, and even believe it themselves, they sure as shit do not. Soft is just a ‘four letter word’ -see: profane- to them. It should be a profanity in your mind too.

[–]nixon9936 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are sick of that behaviour.Thats all you need to know.Why torturing yourself.You dont have to block her or anything just end the relationship.I regret not doing whenever i felt her lost of interest.Its not worth it.7 days without contact,come on.

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. These tradcons who think they can maintain an LTR or marriage forever by being "alpha" all the time are delusional. Women aren't wired to be with the same man long term. Eventually they get bored and want to branch swing. This commonly occurs after moving in/getting married, and happens a lot in LTRs too.

[–]aesky3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are to predictable, no mystery or in her mind BORING. Make a girl have every emotion except boring. She shows up every Thursday to bang = Predictable

don't commit this mistake again op

[–]DolGuldur_SorcereR6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is like playing chess with her, fuck that, either shes interested or she can fuck off. You’re not her circus.

[–]WizardSenpai7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

really no reason to over complicate this with ratios and rules. just spend your attention where you want to and think its deserved.

[–]magicm222[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She’s playing hard.. often calls herself a strong woman.

[–]DolGuldur_SorcereR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had a similar situation recently, but when she went silent during earlier stages she’d always get curious afterwards, felt more like a push pull, leading into next stages. But at the end when she really turned cold, I just knew. She also had a disorder so there were brutal highs and lows, but ok. I think playing along can get you only so far, because even if you use your SMV and TRP tactics, the more shes receptive to that and variety (always needs to be impressed) the more she will require, and get hungry with hypergamy, thats why I think this isnt LTR worthy. Pair bonding ability in such cases doesnt look too good to me. Just imho. When I’m reading about other peoples situations here it reminds me of my own and that I should’ve lifted more instead of wasting time chasing into her bullshit.

EDIT: 5 years you already had her as LTR, as in LONG term, so if this is sudden, then somethings up either way

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks OP for the contribution. But you have misunderstood. Pls read again. 3pm and not 1am.. and I didn’t respond or reply..

[–]raiseconsciousness0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Predictability, you're right. No one really mentioned that in this thread. Definitely the predictability that decreased the interest, and perhaps an alpha came in just at the right time.

[–]Meloxian3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s initiating a pullback, don’t contact her at all, until she contacts you. Once she does make her submit, gaslight her ass - you didn’t think she still wanted the relationship, so Hit up other chicks while you wait, in fact I’d just ignore her for a set amount of time and then contact her in a few weeks after she tried to hit you up. Just fucking disappear for awhile, if she comes over make her submit.

[–]Alzatorus2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I don't get a reply I wait three days and send a ping, usually in the form of a GIF* (not 'gift' - that would be a fail) and some funny light-hearted text to go with it, usually a minor playful insult. If she doesn't reply then I stop there, unless I have the motivation to try one final time. The last 'ping' will be about 1 week after the first. If no reply then, it's a hard next.

[–]shedontmind2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

A 5 year LTR and you see each other once a week? Does this seem strange to you? Is this normal where you're from?

[–]Original_Dankster2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

5 years? And you bang on Thursdays?

She probably wants more than you're offering in terms of commitment. She's probably testing you to see if you'll break radio silence first.

She has the courage to do this because she has a backup plan in place at the very least, or has an alternative on the go already.

[–]NightTerror62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Patience is your best friend.

[–]Desadarius2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nowhere near enough information to give you a good answer. This could be a multitude of things; she lost interest, she wants more commitment, you are overthinking and as a result, not initiating enough yourself, making her think you don't care... who knows. This is why actually internalizing knowledge is important. You can't rely on askTRP to give you personalized answers when in every situation like this there are so many variables.

My best advice to you would be to stop relying on this subreddit, and use your own gut and emotional intelligence once you have truly internalized the knowledge on the sidebar and have gained ample experience. People here will try to convince you your LTR is cheating or has someone else lined up, but there is no actual logical basis to think such things; it's based purely off conjecture and maybe even negativity from past failed relationships.

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

For example she would ask me To pet her more. But then begin to become disrespectful which I won’t accept and then she will say I am not soft on her. How can I allow her to disrespect me?

[–]halleluiaiaia92927 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man fuck these childish games. Listen to your gut. She is basically ghosting you.

Call her and break up so you dont have to go on a subreddit asking something like this.

[–]ExternalNote7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Don't listen to the people telling you to block and ghost her. You've been together for 5 years. Maybe something is bothering her? Maybe she thinks you're being distant? Talk to her. Communication is key. If her replies seem cryptic and like she is trying to avoid talking to you, THEN you can pull the trigger .

What you shouldn't do is listen to guys saying nonsense like oh she found some more alpha/bigger/hotter/richer than you.

[–]magicm222[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

But how could she have played along for 7days ? It means she knows what she’s doing and doing it intentionally.?

[–]drsnake880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to know, ask. If not move on. Nobody can guess what the problem is, it can be anything.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

give her the benefit of a doubt. see if her parents died or something that could have distracted her for a week. be ready for a nukedrop.

[–]Desadarius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are the leader. You haven't been initiating much yourself. She could just be following your lead

[–]Desadarius1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

100%. AskTRP isn't the place to come for advice on a 5 year LTR

[–]DucardthaDon6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

Need more info -

I know her very well and we’ve been in the relationship for 5 years and She normally visits me every Thursday and we bang or go out together.

So 5 years in you do not live with each other? What's the reason? Also you only see each other and bang once a week?

Imo she might be banging some other dude or branch swinging now, you need to have it out with her. Know where you stand and end it.

[–]WhoSweg8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Fuck co-habitation man.

[–]travlingsomewhere7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am cohabitating. Can confirm. Fuck it.

[–]GetBehindMeSatan6666 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

No shit... "iTs bEeN fIvE yEaRs aNd yOu dOnT lIvE wItH hEr?? wHy nOT?"

What a stupid question.

[–]DucardthaDon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

C'mon man not everyone is full on red pilled in this place, otherwise it would not be so full of basic shit being asked daily.

[–]entrep48 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4 NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry within 6 months.

If you don't know basic stuff like this you shouldn't even be on here giving advice

[–]DucardthaDon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I know this, TRP is open to interpretation not the letter of the law, I wasn't sure how much RP OP is so just expected him to be living with his LTR 5 years in.

[–]entrep40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fair enough, maybe I was a bit too harsh so, sorry.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

what's the TLDR reasoning for that rule. never lived with a LTR so I did not get to see the sideeffects

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes ones a week.. she works every other day.. she pass the night most of the times.

[–]DucardthaDon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does she work in a hospital or in public transport services like does she have a job with unsociable hours? If not then there's a big problem. Otherwise forget about TRP stuff and just have it out with her, 5 years deep is alot.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Question: are you spinning plates?

[–]magicm222[S] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

No plates. Have been approaching since last week. 4 numbers.. But low interest. will continue

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

You should always be spinning plates, keeping your game tight. Girls can feel it when you're settling in with them.

Soft next your girl. Don't contact her until she contacts you.

[–]magicm222[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

I have valuable things with her. would be the only reason to contact her and end it politely. Will pick her things at my house, take them to her her and get my things.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don't even end it explicitly. Keep your mouth shut and go pick up your stuff. Let her wonder why you're suddenly taking your possessions back. Use this as a litmus test for her give-a-shit meter.

[–]magicm222[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I guess she’ll be expecting me to contact her cause Thursday is very close. It’s almost Wednesday now.. not sure she have the mind to end it but would be bad if she does it before me..

[–]i-reddit-ck4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude you thinking this wayyy outta pockets. Just ask her when she’ll be home cuz you gotta grab something at her place real quick. Then just get your shit and dip, no contact, make that bitch go through what you are right now which is crying on the internet. Next bro

[–]magicm222[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Will do exactly as you say.. take her things along and dump it and her place when I get there. Won’t give her a chance to come my house.

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can’t go into her apartment without an access card. arriving there I still have to contact her from outside the estate to come and let me in or I wouldn’t be allowed in..

[–]Domebeers1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

what are you not telling us. 5 year LTR dies just like that? Naw what happened?

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There’s been a lot going on for long.. I don’t want to write a novel. just talked about from last week Tuesday event.. she hanged slowly.. she tells me when she goes to work, Starr’s working, gets off work, gets home, what she eats, what she’s doing, but all stopped.. I rationalized the whole thing..

[–]travlingsomewhere1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just ask her what the deal is. Women love to play these type of mind games where she has you wondering.

[–]MercyYouMercyMe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao wtf 5 years and she pulls this? Meeting once a week? You got a lot more problems than what's going on here.

[–]Crixusgannicus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That which is dead cannot die.

[–]ycthrow1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can’t imagine the gut wrenching feeling you may have and I’ve been there. all the “chads” here have even if they say they haven’t and call you a pussy.

Interest is binary - especially at the stage you guys are at. Just move on - if she comes back, she come back but don’t forget how she treated you during this time - not wife material -

Get jacked, focus on your self, hang with the boys, start swiping etc

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Withdraw. She may be seeing somebody, she may not. She might've met the Chad of her life, she might be depressed or apathetic (this can happen to anyone). Doesn't matter. Don't react and hungout with your friends or approach some girls. Also, start improving yourself. You can't force somebody to like you.

P.S. 5 years man. That's a long time. I would've lost interest long ago, even if she is a Venus herself.

[–]linkofinsanity191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd just send one final message.

"I don't really care for how things have been lately between us. Take care."

[–]AITA11111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never really understand why the default answer is always "She's seeing someone else, bro". Of course this is a possibility, but life happens, people get busy, people get depressed, etc. She may also be playing games to test you, especially if you've broken frame or acted needy/clingy.

Personally, I would just continue no contact until she reaches out. Do not block her; this just makes you look butt hurt, emotionally weak and shows that you care. People that don't care, don't react. Being stoic will raise your value and her curiosity.

If she does come back, decide how you would like to proceed depending on what she says. Keep in mind that this type of behavior is disrespectful and is not something that should be tolerated. Anything less than an unequivocal, remorseful apology is unacceptable. If you do decide to end things, then you can go ahead and block her if you need to.

If she doesn't reach out, you are already on your way to moving on since you are in no contact. I would wait until at least the 3 week mark (or longer if you're not ready) before hooking up with another girl.

Through experience, I've found being patient in these types of scenarios to be far superior to fire-bombing everything via an emotional response.

[–]IXseed1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Start the dread.

Either she's losing interest or someone else has it. I'd imagine is wasn't just the fact that you didn't reply to a text but it's been your behaviors over time coming to a head.

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

“Behavior coming to a head” what does that mean OP?

[–]IXseed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Meaning that you're been fucking this up for a longer period of time and it's just now manifesting in your girls actions

[–]gaurav_himself0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We know bro it's no shit test, she lost interest or thinking about someone else but if you still want her, try these Stay silent keep your emotions to you Get another plate to get your mind off and make her jealous Then convey your value in social media, show some girls in it meet her in person don't act pissed of find out underlying cause and shit test(provoke) that guy in front of her without being a creep. Thats my view!

[–]ranchosteve0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's done bro.

[–]Masterdoubt3600 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dating for 5 years?

[–]PinacoladaSauce0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Imo you’ve handled things pretty well, at least from the info given. Most people post shit here and leave out important details or tell everything to make themselves seem as good as possible. So don’t take it personally OP but I always wonder if there’s more to the story.

But it seems you’ve handled everything pretty well.

I am a little confused because it seems like you don’t really care too much. It’s been five years and it seems like you’re perfectly okay with it ending, which is good, just irregular. Are you trying to keep the relationship?

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Five years is a lot of time invested.. I will like to but just not the way things were going.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't text. She's clearly gone cold, and texting can't help things. Just see what happens, but make sure you are talking to other girls.

[–]flatox0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, it's dead. Move in to other women.

Don't let her have the closure that she eventually will be looking for. Ignore everything from hereon out, and never look back.

[–]TWDfanuk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She sounds like a FWB at this point tbh

Demote her to that

[–]Mouse17010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pay attention to other women heck even give attention to ugly women that are willing to do more for you then even some men will do such as cleaning your house washing your car washing clothes or dishes. Feel free to use them how you want. Go after all kinds of women heck if u get in good with grandma or the mom they might have a good 18 year old hot daughter. Work on yourself.

[–]Iamsafai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She is not yours , its just your turn !

Ltr is pretty much a 'long term plate'

[–]SteveSan820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why are you wasting your time with this bitch? Shes obviously doesnt want you anymore. I'm pretty certsin she's already fucking someone else l and maybe even laighing together at your texts. Delete her, block her. She probably wont even notice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Soft next bro

[–]Kabuki4310 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Been there done, i am the guy she's seeing. End it and move on, once a cheater always a cheater.

[–]TxnyMontana0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, a 5 year LTR is not a place to play silly games like hide and seek on message. If I were you I'd have asked "What's up bitch?" at day 2 of no texting.

[–]spartan_samurai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have been replaced.

She is thinking about someone else now instead of you and soon she will dump you over some manipulated argument.

[–]magicm222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She’s demanding more commitment.. the problem is when I try to treat her more better she begin to misbehaves and start showing low interest..

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]magicm222[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

True

[–]Shitcuckedredditsays0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You care about her texts way too much. If she doesn't write to you and loses this LTR. That's her problem.

[–]r4moy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Assume she's bouncing on other dicks, move on and when she comes back she gotta make it up to you ( suck the colour outta your dick) and if not tell that bitch to kick rocks

[–]amwfhunter-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes but that kind of ghosting is weird as fuck man....

[–]magicm222[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Before she contacts me before 4 days.. this is the longest she’s gone.. maybe she’s getting used to the TRP?

[–]magicm222[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Before she contacts me before 4 days.. this is the longest she’s gone.. maybe she’s getting used to the TRP?



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter