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[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie274 points275 points276 points 5 years ago* (32 children) | Copy Link
I like the high effort and all of that. But would caution any woman to really KNOW a man before going vacation with them.
They will undoubtedly expect things.
Even if you have a guy friend and you pay your own way. Be careful. I had a “friend” change his whole attitude on a friends vacation. I had never seen anything like it.
I was so put off by him and his behavior (we were friends for years!) that I left his ass without a ride home. Yes I did ladies. I was the driver and I just packed my stuff up all quiet and snuck out in the dark of night and drove home. He woke up having to scramble a bus or flights or whatever. Never spoke to him again!
Never for a moment did I regret it!
Edit to say thank you for the award! My very first one and that it came from such a wonderful community really made my day! Thanks!
[–]hhgjj0Pickmeisha™️74 points75 points76 points 5 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
I absolutely agree. And well done on leaving that asshole without a ride!
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie124 points125 points126 points 5 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Everyone else thought I was so mean. Like I was SO HORRIBLE for it. But it wouldn’t be horrible if I was made to put up with his abuse and sudden creepiness?
I LAUGHED as I drove away. Not even joking. I had to stifle the giggles when I decided that day to leave him there. He was so full of confidence in himself and really was absolutely abusive (verbally). I kept thinking “yeah buddy keep going... you’re going to wake up to a whole new set of plans”
I never apologized and I never felt bad. He called me and called me. Text and text. He simpered about having to scramble a flight (he ended up taking the bus because he’s cheap as hell)
He even had the audacity to message me (I blocked him on everything I could think of but he found a way) that I owed him money for his bus ticket!!!!!! Wut?!?
Mind you, he didn’t give me a $1 for gas and all the driving. He didn’t even get me a Diet Coke at the gas station!
Never EVER feel bad ladies for escaping a bad situation. You don’t owe anyone who is abusive anything. Not even consideration. I would have left him in the middle of a forest if that had been the destination. I owed this man nothing!
[–]miloba_FDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You’re a g’damn Queen in my eyes. Good for you for sticking up for yourself and also for not succumbing to his threats and demands.
Also incredibly glad you were able to get out without him waking up. Seems like this guy expected a lot from you, and I’d be worried about how he’d react if he caught you leaving in the middle of the night. Hopefully you never felt like your safety was at jeopardy with him; you just never know nowadays.
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, this literally the ONLY place that I would get praise for what I did. Mutual friends (ended up blocking every one of those false friends too!) really tried to make me feel bad.
Nothing that felt THAT good could be wrong!!! The sheer glee I felt! Recalling it even makes me laugh!
Oh and as for him, that night he came back from a strip club (he even bought a shirt from the place... who the hell does that?!?) and promptly passed out drunk. I had to wait for him to get back as I didn’t want to be caught in the act of leaving. He made it easy!!! I was real quiet and I ended up leaving a bunch of stuff behind because screw it!!!
The stuff I left behind?!? Guess who packed it up and kept it? Even “gifted” my sunglasses to someone!
So yeah he didn’t hit me, but he turned really nasty when he saw that I wasn’t up for his abuse or polishing his knob or sudden negging. He got what he deserved ;)
We knew each other for years. So... ladies keep your eyes open at all times!
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What a no value man! Yikes.
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! Once you see them for what they are there isn’t a word they can say that will ever touch you. A LVM is a non person to me. They don’t belong in my world.
[–]FitncurlyFDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He was big mad 😂.
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
‘Twas 🤣🤣🤣
[–]WkndwhorechataFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You're fucking amazing.
So are you!
This place really is the only place where people understand that what I did was correct. Shame on him for making me have to teach him a lesson!
[–]StrainingMyNeuronsFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This has made my day 🤣You badass woman!
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
edit to say you might have been replying tot hat poster. I’m new using the app... but... still HVW energy!!!
Thank you!! If you haven’t you haven’t read a reply from even a more badass woman you must... she left a dude high a dry and I am still feeling that Queen energy!!! Guy was awake and alert for his comeuppance!!!
[–]StrainingMyNeuronsFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m also still figuring out this app, but I think I was replying to you about driving away and laughing! 👍🏻🤣
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Got it! 🤣
[–]throwthisawayred3FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Everyone else thought I was so mean. Like I was SO HORRIBLE for it.
I think this was would've pissed me off the most -to not have your girlfriends understand you and gaslight you into thinking YOU'RE in the wrong. How did you deal with that??
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cut them off. Full stop.
The minute they started to try to make ME feel guilty and judge my behavior was the moment I knew they didn’t care about my safety and well-being. They belittled my own legitimate fears, and worse they wanted to take away my power... all for a mutual “friend” who was simpering to them about “mean Ole ketokitten.”
I was not going to have to justify my actions to any real friend. It was actually a great way to weed out the pick me’s I had been hanging with.
Edit to say this was one big instance in my life that I REALLY felt my own power. It felt good!
[–]hopeful_flounder93FDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
OMG! I was once hiking with this non-committal loser I had been "seeing" for several months after a bad break up (YEARS before FDS, I cringe 😂). He threw a fit about something stupid on the drive, so the next time we stopped for gas, I left him in the store to buy his coffee and went to "wait for him in the car."
Yeah, I drove away. Right after I blocked him on everything.
We were in the Canadian Rockies, a couple hundred kms away from the city.
I mean, being non-committal was so important, can't say I was wrong for not committing to be his ride home 💁♀️🥰
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ha!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!
Tell me how elated were you when you were miles away? I honestly felt like I was almost high or something. It feels so amazing to know your own worth!!!!
[–]hopeful_flounder93FDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
OMG YESSSS!!! To be honest I was a bit worried I'd pissed him off enough for him to (eventually, after his hilarioisly expensive taxi ride L M A O) confront me at my family's home, but it just ultimately felt like the biggest power move I've ever pulled on a "fuccboi" and I STILL get the warm fuzzies thinking about it 3 YEARS LATER 😂😂😂
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I am so glad you shared this story with me!!! I have a huge smile on my face because it is just hilarious. Yes you gotta think of the pros and cons, but damn it feels good to put yourself first.
When I had first got the notion to just leave dude stranded, I did feel a moment of fear. Like, what will the fallout of this move be? For me, it would be more mutual friends hating me and stuff like that.
I remember I was sitting on the couch and he was angrily moving his things about telling me this and that. I thought “whatever the fallout, it’s worth it.”
Yes! It was a huge power move and it felt good to take my power back! Really really good. I was NOT going to take his BS anymore. I simply was over it all.
[–]bootybootybootymeowFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Omg we should not feel bad for this. Just the other day someone sent me a meme video of a guy leaving his "cheating girlfriend" on the side of the road and everyone thought it was the most hilarious, karmic thing even though she wasn't even somewhere with a shelter for miles (it was the desert??) and inherently more vulnerable than a man. But hey, we're not people right?? 🤡
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We MUST take their crap right?!?
I mean, I would have left him anywhere to be honest except maybe the desert where I could be charged with some crime.
To premeditate something like that is... not great. I think most women resort to this stuff when they are seriously pushed the breaking point and just snap. Just completely snap. No real thinking just the choice and the follow through.
Lol at that dude who left his cheating woman on the side of the road... how passive aggressive and weak. Couldn’t even sack up like a man and confront her or do what we do, block and delete. He just HAD to feel like he got that last word. SMH
[–]RadioactiveJoyFDS Disciple20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A day trip to a place your familiar with sure, maybe after a bunch of dates. Overnight? Hell no.
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly! I thought I knew him. I thought he was my actual friend. But when he saw that I wasn’t up for the things he wanted... it was like a whole different person.
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
May I ask why he changed his attitude? Because he thought he was going to have sex with you and you rejected him? (sorry for being so slow lol) But well done for not taking crap and leaving!
[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
No problem and you are not slow at all!!!
Yes. We never had anything romantic. We called it a friends trip. But then on the first night he pushed me up against a wall (not hard or whatever but ya know like in a passion I guess) and started to shove his tongue in my mouth.
It was HORRIBLE. He kissed me like so rough and grossly. Like he was eating a yummy meatball sub. Practically gnawing on me face.
I should have left then. The fear and confusion I felt stunned me for a few beats.
I pushed him away and was like “ewwww what the hell?!? I don’t like you like that!!!!! Why would you do that?!?”
Of course I got the apologetic I’m drunk, or whatever same excuses all these men use for being inappropriate.
My first mistake was not leaving that night.
Anyway, so I uneasily “forgive” him and rationalize it in whatever fashion I can. Which we are taught as women to do. Shame on society. But the rejection ate away at him.
Started to neg me, then more verbal abuse. Angrily moving things about in my presence. That type of stuff. It was like my very existence was an affront to him.
It dawned on me that I could just go home. It was simple. I could just go home and never ever see this chunk of smegma again. I could do it simply and relatively easily unburden myself.
And so I did. As I hit that big stretch of freeway I was laughing like a mad woman! Boy was that entitled piece of crap going to be shocked when he woke up!
Sorry so many words but it feels really good to tell this story here because people really did react as if I was so mean.
[–]Budget-Interaction-2Throwaway Account8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I logged onto reddit just so I could like your comment. You are nothing less than a fucking boss ass queen of a woman. Society brainwashes us women to be so nice to the point that the whole world shits on us and we lose ourselves. No thank you. What you did was so damn brave. You inspire me ❤
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Society brainwashes us women to be so nice to the point that the whole world shits on us and we lose ourselves.
Just watched youtube investigation videos and all pretty much women got raped and murdered (one case she and her son got decapitated and separated into 8 parts) by their husbands/lover and people in the comments still blame the women because apparently our existence is the biggest sin. Society really just wants you beaten and dead by this point, there's literally no use being nice anymore.
Thank you! I get fired up when I visit here!!!
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You did the right thing. Besides you probably didn't feel safe, especially if you two shared a room/apartment together during the trip. A guy having romantic thoughts about a trip with a female friend (as long as expressed respectfully and not forcefully on the woman of course), but it's not excusable doing a 180 because a woman (specially a friend) didn't put out. It sends the message that women are just vaginas for him who are not allowed to not want to have sex with him. It's disgusting. You didn't do anything mean. Good for you for standing your ground and disengaging. Several women will stand their ground yes but won't disengage. But you simply cut him out and didn't waste your time explaining him why is behavior was disgusting and that's what real queens do.
[–]_somoneyoumightknow0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have what I wish I always do♡♡.
[–]beautysubthrowwFDS Newbie148 points149 points150 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Am I the only one who'd be uncomfortable with this? What if I don't want to be his gf yet? Am I just stuck on an island with him for another week? Or what if he "expects" something?
I think this kind of thing is awesome in an established relationship, but it just reeks of lovebombing when you're not even at the "being official" stage. Someone tell me if my concerns are valid or if I'm just being a pickmeisha.
[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely valid. This is way too soon to go away with someone, far from home and friends and family.
[–]harrohamtaroFDS Newbie70 points71 points72 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No you’re not being a pickmeisha. That’s called having common sense and not being superficially blown away by dramatic pursuing tactics. Not all grand gestures are HV, and not all guys who’re willing to splurge are HVM either. I’ve seen people in this sub who believe only costly moves are ‘sincere’, and guys who don’t lavish them with fine stuff are ‘NVM’. They post it here as the gospel truth. It’s too much generalising and misplaced emphasis.
[–]beautysubthrowwFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank you! I've been burned before by guys who put in a ton of effort at first but turn out to have a bunch of LVM traits once you get to know them. I agree women should be wary of overly grand gestures at the beginning of a relationship.
[–]harrohamtaroFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
When these men start out at the top, the only way to go after that is down. Some of them stop making the effort after they snag their target. Everyone is afraid of getting hurt and everyone is observing one another. Women who melt at the first sight of a designer bag or vacation didn’t stop to think if they’re also a HVW who brings something to the table besides their presence.
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve seen people in this sub who believe only costly moves are ‘sincere’, and guys who don’t lavish them with fine stuff are ‘NVM’. They post it here as the gospel truth.
Yeah, FDS teaches expecting them to pay for dinner and movies dates because it is the courting stage - he needs to prove that he is a provider and not a stingy broke ass loser. But there's a difference between that and splurging to hell, treating you like a sugar baby. We need to realize rich narcissist that can afford to splurge on you exist, and they don't mind paying in excess from the first date. But always be aware of red flags and don't immediately label them "high value" just because they are rich. And a concerning number of subbers here immediately go "He is HVM!" after two or three dates. Like sis, calm TF down.
[–]fulltwistinglayoutFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah i would never do this. i'd prefer to be asked over a romantic dinner in the city.
[–]SaremisFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I believe they were already semi-formal/ in a formal agreement of a relationship. If not I wouldn't agree to go on a 3-day vacation with some rando. My bf did this for me, he booked some nice place and asked me 'officially' to go out but we've already been committed to each other and talked about it, it was just a 'fancy' way of making it more official.
[–]beautysubthrowwFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I never played the whole situationship/unspoken commitment thing. Every dude I've dated (including husband) officially asked me to be his gf within the first 1 - 2 months.
[–]SaremisFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
In my case it was not unspoken, he had asked me to go out previously & we talked about it, it just was a fancy way of repeating the same thing. I've never been un an 'unspoken commitment' too, I prefer this kind of things to be clear verbally.
[–]beautysubthrowwFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm talking more about this Twitter post. It's not really clear whether they're already in a formal relationship or if this is first time he's asking her to be her gf. If it's the latter this seems like a weird love-bomby orange flag.
[–]SaremisFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah of it the second option is very weird, you're right... I would never go with a man who I don't know very good... and what if you say no?
[–]AnniaTFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree. I would be very uncomfortable if I either didn't want to be his girlfriend or if I was just at the stage of not being sure and still evaluating the situation. It would put huge pressure on me. Also I agree that it could be love bombing. I'd love this being already in a relationship but not like this. The only thing that could kind of make things better was if he knew for sure she was going to accept as in they had already discussed the idea of being boyfriend and girlfriend but he decided he should ask officially on the trip. Like when a guy proposes but the couple has already talked about marriage and are on the same page about it and he knows for sure she wants to.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Disciple32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I had something similar happen (dude took me on a weekend trip to a ski resort) and it was honestly kind of weird because if I’d said no, I would have been stuck in a whole other state with him and it would have been weird. We were friends prior to us dating so it wasn’t that odd for us to do some things together and I kind of had a feeling that was the point of the trip because I knew he was interested but I probably wouldn’t have been ok with it now. I kind of overlooked the weirdness because I did like him and want to date him. (He also did not end up being high value, he knew how to fake it a lot of the time and present himself like he was but he was secretly in love with his female best friend the whole time and denying it even tho I could totally tell, it ended pretty quickly because I couldn’t get over that feeling. I think he was hoping that I’d distract him and help him get over it and I wanted no part of it).
[–]xNayxNayxFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is what my ex did for me. It was the most amazing experience I’d ever had.
But he ended up being trash.
Men have flown me out to some pretty dope places and we’ve had some really dope times. Maybe I’m jaded, but always remember: a man can give high value goodies but that might be all that’s high value about him.
[–]BlumeblumeFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thiiiiiiiis
[–]cece188FDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ehhh, I don’t really like the idea of going on a trip with a man who isn’t even your boyfriend. Something like this maybe would be nice for a marriage proposal, but not to ask someone to be your girlfriend.
It just seems dangerous, along with the guy maybe having expectations of having sex.
[–]__kamikaze__FDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree with you. I think this would be a sweet gesture a month or two after they’re officially together— but to do it before commitment the guy probably has “expectations” 🙄
[–]MalloryDameFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think it's very safe to go on vacation with a guy you don't know very well... Unless they were friends, this is actually a bit creepy. But happy to see it went well!
[–]ErikaNaumannFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would never go on a 3 day getaway with a man that wasn't my boyfriend already.
[–]JaneIsaPainFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is unecessary and puts the woman at risk
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Everyone is asked to netflix and chill. You gotta turn that shit down and stay on your queen energy so you're open for better offers.
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist-1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is it
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[–]KetoKittenAroundFDS Newbie274 points275 points276 points
(32 children) | Copy Link
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