I am sick of the normalization of dangerous fetishes!

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-02-12T13:50:34+00:00

Is there an effective way to push back against the normalization of dangerous fetishes and pornography?

The only way is to have a counterculture. Pornsick LVMs have no qualms about talking about their fetishes, pornography and sexual tastes everywhere, and they try to get everyone on board with them. They are constantly putting this message out in the press, movies, series, social media, even somewhat professional articles. They are a never-ending machine. It is not a coincidence that we have such warped views of feminism and sex when most media is owned by men.

Women are half the population. We need to be writing and writing, speaking and complaining, blasting our opinion and true experiences everywhere. This subreddit has skyrocketed in numbers in a little over a year, and I am already starting to see its influence in other social media platforms. Only with sheer volume can we start making a difference.

TheOGJammies · 2021-02-12T10:58:06+00:00

Sis I just looked for that article on Armie Hammer and I am completely fucking APPALLED. They wasted NO time trying to normalize something that should be a giant red fucking flag to anybody with a teacup full of sense.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/li8qsg/cosmo_wants_yall_to_know_that_armie_hammers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

CANNIBALISM PLAY? WHY are they doing this to us??

Some__Stranger · 2021-02-12T11:31:04+00:00

[deleted]

fckinengaged19times · 2021-02-12T15:28:30+00:00

Fetish educator? 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Sensitive-Ad8553 · 2021-02-12T16:00:15+00:00

If you’re not into being choked until you pass out or slapped until you cry, you’re considered “boring” in bed. But if u DARE to bring up how u want to choke or slap a man during sex, you’re called “crazy” and “psychotic”. Men get turned on by hurting women.

shoesfromparis135 · 2021-02-12T16:55:04+00:00

I was also incredibly disturbed to see this article. Like, really? I mean, really? I read those texts from Armie Hammer. If a dude sent shit like that to me, I’d call the police and slap him with a restraining order. I can’t believe women are teaching other women that this kind of crap is okay.

What’s next, Cosmo? An article suggesting beastiality is okay as long as the goat is consenting? An article about “necro-play”? How will they normalize violence against women next?

This kind of shit is why I stopped dating. These guys seriously think it’s normal to just go straight for the chokehold when making out. It’s sick. Like no, you can’t choke me. You can’t beat me up. You can’t slap, hit, or spank me. You can’t leave bruises all over my body. You can’t bite me or leave hickies all over my neck. You can’t physically hurt me in any way, shape, or form. Sex is not about violence, pain, or death. Sex is supposed to be a mutually pleasurable act that both parties enjoy. The fact that it’s seen as something inherently violent and degrading is disturbing.

Ladies, go ahead and delete your dating apps, buy yourself a vibrator, and forget about these pornsick assholes. It’s not worth it.

materialpleasures · 2021-02-12T11:21:24+00:00

It's dreadful. Not just the normalisation, but the extreme protection kinks/BDSM and even porn usage have somehow garnered in society. You daren't question or criticise them. I fear we're too far gone to solve this problem. A rather depressing thought to end this evening on...

Forwardgash · 2021-02-12T13:06:25+00:00

Cosmo is now canceled. That headline tried so hard it popped a blood vessel in its forehead. Taking such leaps in logic it might as well try out for the Olympics.

Never thought I would read something so incredibly dangerous and stupid from this magazine in particular. This goes far beyond run of the mill misogyny and pickmeism that I’m legit afraid of the people who wrote, edited, and published this filth.

Objective_Ad7771 · 2021-02-12T13:18:32+00:00

Strategy: When you get comfortable to talk about sexual stuff with the guy- be very eager about wanting to know his fantasies and fetishes. Ask him what porn he watches and try to sound like you don't mind/are interested (sometimes you have to be a bit manipulative to get him spill the truth). If you come across anything that you think that crosses the line (even slightly) then get out. It only can get worse. Also if possible date a guy that is totally cool about giving up porn in a relationship - if he's able to do that then you can later on introduce him to traffickinghub and exodus cry (organisations that uncover the illegal shit pornhub and other porn sites do).

localgirlcult · 2021-02-12T17:17:30+00:00

I just went to cosmo's twitter to see if they posted that article and what the comments are. Thankfully, everyone is absolutely shitting on it. Both women and men, thank fucking fuck.

Astral_weaver · 2021-02-12T11:45:42+00:00

Pornography is by itself a rather conservative medium, based on the exaggerated re-iteration of social norms. That's why all the misogyny in porn and BDSM are so heavily protected at the end of the day.

This "cannibalism fetish" thing is nothing really new. It's the symbolic destruction of the "Other", that Other being always feminine or effeminate. It's just another unfolding of the deep misogyny that plagues our society.

LevelTurbulent · 2021-02-12T17:23:45+00:00

Nope, no safe cannabilism fetish. Anyone who wants that done to them is mentally ill. The fetish is abuse of mentally ill people.

You fight it by calling them out with disgust whenever you hear it. If you are at work you go directly to HR. You don’t feel safe. A friend has a gross, violent fetish? Cut them off completely. Full no contact. Same with family members. A relative’s husband informed people of his violent fetish or kink? Sorry Cheryl, I can’t attend thanksgiving as your perverted, degenerate husband will be there. Sorry mom, I can’t come to Christmas as you are allowing your perverted, degenerate son in law there and I’m not taking the risk or associating with violent perverts. No, you can’t bring your boyfriend to my party, he’s a violent degenerate.

It’s hard at first, really hard, because they’re everywhere and they’re loud and proud about strangling women while jerking off and all their other shit. But you start doing that and you’re going to be surprised by how many people agree with you and are also sick of it. The ones who still call you uptight? Look at them exposing themselves as degenerate. Cut them off.

kantarra · 2021-02-12T12:25:08+00:00

I'm sorry you had that experience. There really aren't all that many warning signs, unfortunately - and while it's been a while since I bothered with dating, my experiences match yours minus the assault. My ex-boyfriend used to try choking me in bed even though I repeatedly told him not to. In hindsight, of course, I should have kicked him to the curb right then and there, but porn use and those type of sex kinks have become so normalized that I also felt like I was maybe overreacting. After all, he did stop every time I told him to, right? Other boyfriends wanted me to spank them / hurt them, which I didn't do. Really wish I had found FDS back then already.

I think the only thing we can do to push back is to refuse to engage in these activities and make it clear that it's non-negotiable. As for avoiding these types of men... well, I've never met one that didn't have at least one weird kink, but I think there are probably a handful. With the rest, I think if women collectively start refusing to accept sex fetishes, maybe the problem will start to disappear again. I also think it's important to be very open about that you consider violent fetishes/porn use disgusting and would never accept those behaviours. I don't think that changes the men per se, but it could maybe start teaching them that we will not accept their degenerate behaviours.

Title	I am sick of the normalization of dangerous fetishes!
Author	Some__Stranger
Upvotes	416
Comments	61
Date	February 12, 2021 9:23 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/li7ltm/i_am_sick_of_the_normalization_of_dangerous/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-am-sick-of-the-normalization-of-dangerous.739399 https://theredarchive.com/post/739399

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