LVM thrive in stagnation. Save your tears.

Concernedmama16 · 2021-04-16T00:42:19+00:00

Congrats to you for breaking free!!! Thank the looooooord, another one has escaped!!!

laffytaggy · 2021-04-16T02:14:32+00:00

Wow I’m happy for you. Good for you! And you write so well :)

I was also devastated after a break up, thinking I lost a real catch. Now I look back at that period and am THANKFUL I am not with him (even if I’m single). I don’t know if my ex has a girl but I do not care and pity her if he does. It took him to get here... but now I shudder at the thought of being with that loser.

And he was wealthy ladies, 7 figures and multiple properties rich. Please don’t think rich = HV. He was hands out down the worst man I ever dated.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-04-16T01:31:20+00:00

Thank you SO much for sharing.

When I started reading that you ex literally sounded exactly like my first bf, whom I was with for 3 mths, but I was just a rebound and being used to make another girl jealous. But I was 4 years younger that him, cooked for him, shopped, waited on him, bought him alcohol ad cigarettes (he didn't have a job) I thought he was so coo because of the music he liked and he was a musician. He dumped me after he kept getting drunk late night calls from the other girl, so obviously his plan had worked. I had never been more upset in my life, mainly because I had lost my virginity to him 4 years earlier (i was 17 he was 21) he had ghosted me and when he messaged me 4 years later (we had some mutual friends) I thought its was like a fucking love story 🤮 I never felt so worthless in my life after he dumped me and was convinced there was something severly defective with me, as I had done nothing but try and please him ato make him love me.

Its not the same guy but im pretty sure they are both in the same boat now. Which I love for us. He was is and always will be T R A S H. : )

fancypantsdance92 · 2021-04-16T01:02:29+00:00

This was a great read! Thankyou for sharing. I hope women lurkers get the takeaway here: there are worse things than being single and you don't have to be in a stereotypical abusive relationship to for it to be a bad one.

When I was 16 in highschool, I started dating this guy. He was super fit, popular and smart. We dated for another 2 years after I finished highschool and in that time he just turned into an unmotivated pot head. I gained so much weight while dating him. When I decided it was time to get fit and turn my life around - he didn't take me seriously. So I dumped him. He had no career goals and still doesn't. While he is back to his fit self, he's still kinda just bumming around life and bartending. I'd have just stagnated with him if I stayed in that relationship. A lot of people from back home still think he's a catch and told me I should get back with him for a long time. A few months after I broke up with him, he was already dating some girl who was sending him flirty texts while we were together. I remember fighting with this girl and telling him that if she didn't respect our relationship then she sure as shit wasn't going to respect one with him either and sure enough, she cheated on him.

LVM will often play women against each other to create this illusion that they are some kind of prize. They're not! Let the other woman have him.

IndividualRoutine661 · 2021-04-16T08:43:54+00:00

Dating LVM makes a woman depressed, when I left mine I also beat depression and went back to my normal weight.

As women we need to protect our health from the consequences of shit relationships.

BasieSkanks · 2021-04-16T09:01:46+00:00

So, so glad you came out on the other side THRIVING, QUEEN! I am so proud of you! And yes, you are absolutely right! LVM men know when they are not on your level, and they will seek to drag you down with them. My first boyfriend told me I was too stupid to go to university. I graduated last year and I’m currently doing a masters that’s fully-funded. Meanwhile, he’s barely finished high school (at 25) and is claiming early retirement disability. He says he doesn’t believe in working for other people, but it’s just an excuse. He was always lazy.

ChocoBananza · 2021-04-16T07:39:27+00:00

Congrats on your levelling up, sis!

I have to ask you to elaborate a bit more on your antidepressants use. Why was it so ineffective for you? Are you sure that you were on the right medicine/dosage?

I’m asking, because in my personal experience it was a COMPLETE opposite. I was numb without them, and they were letting me FEEL things, good and bad.

neonred1 · 2021-04-16T08:15:18+00:00

This story made my night, thank you!

Valeria_Venn · 2021-04-16T00:45:06+00:00

[deleted]

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-04-16T14:35:59+00:00

This was a great read. I am glad you’re free. Reading this helped me process some stuff in my past. Thank you for sharing!

Protoetype · 2021-04-16T15:19:40+00:00

Very inspiring story, thanks for sharing. It was a pick me up to read on what feels like a bad day for me!

bunsmoria · 2021-04-16T15:25:13+00:00

Thank you so much for this post! I was mortified reading and then relieved towards the end because it could have been me too! He kept moving the goalpost and just being stagnant. I am so glad you are in a better place now. I look forward to see myself there too🌹❤️

savedempath · 2021-04-16T16:45:38+00:00

Wow congrats sis!!! :)

Saitschik · 2021-04-16T00:37:24+00:00

Great that you leveled up and do so much better. But I wish people would stop to spread unscientific advise about anti depressants. They are very helpful in many cases lifesavers and the resentment against it seems to me very outdated and, sorry to say that, not very smart either.

It has bad consequences since it keeps people from the help they need.

Inspection-Critical · 2021-04-17T14:22:50+00:00

Amazing story. I'm really happy for you that you've reached this level of closure.

You just helped me a lot with my own situation. I have a feeling I'll be writing an almost identical post in 5 years, and you just gave me a massive head start on my own closure. Thank you.

Snoo7140 · 2021-04-16T05:50:45+00:00

Amazing work you have done on yourself! I relate in a lot of ways, leaving a lousy LVM and becoming your true self is a beautiful thing. You are going to have a beautiful life because you have realized the amazing value in yourself, and will never let a man dull that. Hugs to you 🤗

Beaglerampage · 2021-04-16T06:50:40+00:00

Congratulations on escaping and rediscovering you. Much love!

tjhoughton · 2021-04-16T13:32:31+00:00

Yes, thank you for sharing. This is exactly the way to put it. I've spent 3 years working on myself and growing - my LVM ex-husband is still working temporary restaurant jobs and living in a state he claimed to hate while with me (when I said I wanted to move there, he said never).

To be honest, part of me always hoped he could turn his life around. But you are absolutely right, and this post puts the stark truth forward - they WANT to be stagnant. Bless their hearts.

cakewalkofshame · 2021-04-16T19:04:09+00:00

Whew, that was a ride. I'm proud of you for breaking free!

Title	LVM thrive in stagnation. Save your tears.
Author	Perfect-Extension
Upvotes	344
Comments	35
Date	April 15, 2021 11:20 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mrqo3f/lvm_thrive_in_stagnation_save_your_tears/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lvm-thrive-in-stagnation-save-your-tears.763338 https://theredarchive.com/post/763338

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