Did Your Ex Keep Your Name?

Striking-Trainer8148 · 2021-11-14T02:33:07+00:00

The best possible thing you could do for yourself is not care.

hombredelgato · 2021-11-14T02:07:45+00:00

Been thinking about this myself. Not sure how I feel about it either.

djones360 · 2021-11-14T03:15:19+00:00

My ex-wife did this and for the longest time it bothered the hell out of me. We didn’t have kids and we’re only married 11 months before she wanted to separate. I’d agree with most posters here that you need to just try and forget it. Her actions are no longer a concern for you.

NohoTwoPointOh · 2021-11-14T02:18:31+00:00

Both of mine did. Not much you can do about it.

The process of changing names is pretty onerous. I get it.

KZandMe · 2021-11-14T03:42:44+00:00

She kept it. We have kids and her career started after we got married. It is nothing to waste any energy onn, and not your decision to make anyway. Focus on you

MNCPA · 2021-11-14T02:25:03+00:00

Doesn't really matter on our end. It sucks to explain multiple last names for the other party.

Jonger1150 · 2021-11-14T03:20:26+00:00

I think this is pretty common. My ex has my last name still and I don't believe she plans on changing this.

Our kids have my last name, so it's probably a major motivator. If we had no kids I'd expect her to revert to her maiden name.

dudefromyork · 2021-11-14T09:33:58+00:00

Whilst it’s annoying that she’s going to carry my family name, it’s not in my top 50 things I am either pissed off about or need to do something about.

I’m choosing to shrug my shoulders and move on.

Flyingsaucer312 · 2021-11-14T15:25:53+00:00

My ex wife decided to keep my last name, but gave me more of an explanation for it. She had a hard time changing everything to my last name, she said it would be a hassle to change everything back , accounts, social, Id's, etc then just keeping my last name. She said she wanted to also keep the same last name for my daughters sake, to have a name connection with them. Lastly she said she didn't see a point in changing it back, if maybe she has to change it again if she ever gets remarried. After that I just kinda got over it. It's not as big of a deal I thought it was but I did feel a little upset at the time, now I don't even think about it.

Gattsama · 2021-11-14T07:47:25+00:00

Aside - my Mom keep my Dad's name after the divorce. She said it was just to much hassle to change everything, and her life is totally invested in that last name.

biobeerz · 2021-11-14T14:43:52+00:00

I met my ex at work shortly after her first divorce. She was very vocal in sharing how happy she was that she was getting her old last name back. Fast forward a decade and now she’s keeping my last name. It still bothers me a little but it’s dwindling over time.

KuroDN · 2021-11-14T16:15:52+00:00

She keep mine. I think she did it to have the same last name as the kids, followed by not wanting to do all the paperwork. I personally would have perfered she not but that was not my choice to make.

Just live your life and move on is the best thing you can do.

derelictherds · 2021-11-15T01:46:27+00:00

My ex kept it and I could not care less.

Darkfire66 · 2021-11-14T02:40:54+00:00

You have kids?

cschoonmaker · 2021-11-14T18:57:25+00:00

In the divorce paperwork she requested to have her name changed back to her maiden name. 9 years later she still hasn’t done it. I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. Maybe her new fiancé does but I don’t care if he does or not either. If she actually goes through with it this time (2nd engagement since divorce) maybe she’ll change it to his name then, and I still won’t care. But I will care about not forking over spousal support anymore. 😂

FaithlessnessNo281 · 2021-11-14T19:35:35+00:00

Soon to be ex is keeping my last name. Says she wants to have the same name as our son. There is no way I could give any less of a fuck what she does at this point, as long as my son is happy and healthy.

AdultishRaktajino · 2021-11-14T22:11:25+00:00

My ex kept mine. No idea her plans going forward now she's engaged, nor do I care.

It bugged me at the beginning but that was fleeting. The knife cuts both ways here, I could've changed my name if I really wanted to.

Couldn't think of something awesome enough though to make it worthwhile.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-11-15T00:09:07+00:00

> My STBXW has let me know she intends to keep my surname. I’m not sure how I feel about this.

You can only control your reaction to her behavior. You can't control her behavior. Stoicism 101.

Socrunk · 2021-11-15T00:58:23+00:00

I would add it divorce decree that she can revert back to her maiden name just in case. I think a lot of women keep the married name because of the hassle of changing it. It's significantly easier to change if it's in the decree. But ultimately if she decides to keep your name I wouldn't even try to rationalize it or lose any sleep.

pegleg_legal · 2021-11-15T02:37:24+00:00

You can't force her to change it so just move on. Worrying about things we cannot control uses our energy for caring about things we can.

fesanjani703 · 2021-12-01T19:05:19+00:00

My ex-wife kept my last name. It annoys me because she hates my family. I would prefer that she goes back to her maiden name, but am not going to lose sleep over it.

Title	Did Your Ex Keep Your Name?
Author	Brit_100
Upvotes	14
Comments	22
Date	November 14, 2021 1:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qtf61n/did_your_ex_keep_your_name/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/did-your-ex-keep-your-name.1084206 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084206

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