I’m done

Miserable-Heart-6604 · 2024-02-11T20:40:25+00:00

Another horrible day today. Fuck it. I’m done.

adventure_junkie67 · 2024-02-07T19:22:01+00:00

I really have sympathy for your situation but believe that you are truly the only who can change it. All the tips; exercise, meditation, joining groups, developing hobbies that you have passion about, working at creative ways to be the best father you can be, etc, are all sound advice. Please research ways in your community where free programs and group activities are offered. You WILL get through this but you must work at it. Please don't give in to the pain. Push through and you will thrive.

Flapique · 2024-02-07T16:15:14+00:00

Go get your testosterone checked! Low T can make it very hard for you to recover from all the things you're dealing with.

Miserable-Heart-6604 · 2024-02-07T15:55:17+00:00

Appreciate the suggestions. I’ve been working out nearly every day. I’ve tried therapy and meds. I tried dating apps for a while, just for company, not expecting anything - struck out on those.

I cry everyday. Every night,I fall asleep sobbing. Every morning, I’m disappointed that I wake up.

It’s been years. Nothing helps.

bolvrkrrr · 2024-02-07T15:08:14+00:00

Go to a muay thai gym

Articulate_idiot · 2024-02-07T13:37:48+00:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Sensitive-Ad-1773 · 2024-02-07T13:16:34+00:00

Be proactive brother. This is a temporary phase and it will pass. Right now double down on yourself and your relationship with the kids. The advice on working out, finding some new hobbies, etc is all very very solid. Even though I’m early in my process, I’ve taken this to heart and I am committed to coming out of this even better. You are stronger than you think, and you can handle this. Do not give up and give me a call if you want to talk. Check private messages.

judasholio · 2024-02-07T11:57:04+00:00

100% relatable, brother. I’m not sure I believe in God anymore, after everything I’ve been through, and after everything that I have seen other men go through.

Initial_Topic_4989 · 2024-02-07T04:18:37+00:00

Sorry man. I often see on other posts people saying how grateful one should feel because their kids call other men dad, that is so crazy to me I can't even begin comprehend. It's like a cuckold mentality

Specialist-Holiday61 · 2024-02-07T00:01:29+00:00

The kids calling another man “papa” would send me over too.

We as men have to be strong. Our strength is everything. We literally built this world. You are too big and too strong and capable to let some woman bring you down.

YOU ARE A FUCKING MAN! YOU GOT THIS SHIT! Get in shape. Become a lion in sheep’s clothing and never let disrespect slide from your ex or your kids. Make sure you let your kids know that YOU are their father. They do not call some random man “papa”. That aint gonna slide EVER.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-02-06T22:04:48+00:00

Law of attraction. Look down and that’s where you’ll go.

Dan_H1281 · 2024-02-06T21:30:29+00:00

They aren't beating you, you are beating yourself with this mindset. U definitely don't want to keep pushing forward feeling like this it will only hurt you and make u a worse person. U gotta quit feeling sorry for yourself and go make your life great Noone will do it for you.

Reflog1791 · 2024-02-06T20:21:47+00:00

Fuck this Papa guy. He’s a sack of shit. Yes it ain’t fair. Do 50 push-ups, then do 50 more. Your temporary anger will go away. Try it.

Do this everyday when you get triggered. Within 3 weeks you’ll look in the mirror and be buff. Then something good will happen. Then you’ll build on that momentum. Seriously try doing a shit ton of push-ups.

You are gonna figure out how to solve your problems and live a happy life. Get after it and do some push-ups.

-NukeX- · 2024-02-06T19:46:31+00:00

The best revenge is living well. Once you focus on that...man, it will change your life. I was in the same boat...and at my lowest for around 4 months. Found an amazing counselor. I started finding new hobbies. I started working out daily. It's amazing how much better you feel after therapy and getting in shape. Man, looking back, I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm also the strongest and my confidence is through the roof. I get hit on all the time, and not because I'm good looking (just average), it's my outlook on life. I'm awesome. I love my hobbies. I'm a good person. I eat well. I work out. I'm a good friend. I hike with a lot of really cool people. It all started with not letting her win. Now, she is the size of a broad barn and miserable. I've moved on and living my best life. I win. Don't let her win...you got this. (Also, if you haven't seen the movie Stuts on Netflix before, highly recommend it. It's a film by Jonah Hill about therapy and his therapist.)

Remarkable-Potato21 · 2024-02-06T19:42:24+00:00

I've had success with changing my outlook with how I word it in my head. Ie not "I have to go to work" but "I get to go to work" or "I don't want to do anything because I'll fail at it too" to "I'll keep failing and Its okay to keep trying". "I have not accomplished anything today" to "I woke up, and that is a huge accomplishment"

"Every little chore or step can be rewarded because I am moving forward."

Wish you the best. Seek comfort from someone you trust and professional help. It is okay to reach out and just posting this is an accomplishment. Worry about what you can control right now (attitude) and let the rest go. Focus on the words you speak to yourself. Positive affirmations to yourself really start to build you up in little ways.

Snoo-50419 · 2024-02-06T18:41:56+00:00

Great job reaching out to other people. We’re on the same boat at one point. Some, like me, are still going through the trenches of divorce.

Make small changes in your day to not think about being “done”. I recommend taking a walk. Like a 30 min walk outside as the sun is coming up. It give me clarity and allows me to give gratitude to a new day in this world.

sooperunknown7 · 2024-02-06T17:45:53+00:00

Hey man. I see that you are active in suicide reddits. Things will get better, that is NOT the way to go. Don’t give her the satisfaction!! I assume you are up north because of the hockey cards reddits. If you are anywhere near Oklahoma though… I want to meet up and talk and walk you through some things. You don’t have to have money to have a fulfilling life. I’m damn near rich and miserable as fuck. You need to figure out what makes you happy and feasible now. … also, those kids will see things differently when they get older. Kids are what saved me and ironically the POS (“friend of mine”) guy my wife left me for. Because if not for my kids I would have killed myself and him.

CreepyCamel6301 · 2024-02-06T17:27:33+00:00

Dude msg me if u wanna chat...im over all this s****. Just done

Arislan · 2024-02-06T17:06:12+00:00

As bleak as things seem, perhaps you can take solace in knowing there are so many of us sharing in the suffering my brother. The only way I persist is to take it one day at a time. I don’t look back, I don’t look too far forward. Taking a good crack at cognitive behavioural therapy made a huge difference. I don’t know you, but I am you. Love yourself.

gabbygourmet · 2024-02-06T16:43:44+00:00

hang on man, you are going to be fine. you are mad low right now and it wont last. don't let her win!!!

WartimeDad · 2024-02-06T16:22:55+00:00

Hang in there friend. It will be alright. Your kids won’t abandon you. You’ll have sex again. Having money and things does not equate to happiness.

Take a moment for self care. Dive into something that fascinates you.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-02-06T16:12:22+00:00

U can build yourself up again you’re a man, never let a woman push u down

reallyconfused2323 · 2024-02-06T15:54:38+00:00

Calm down and get a rotation of 20 year olds. You'll be fine.

Title	I’m done
Author	Miserable-Heart-6604
Upvotes	51
Comments	41
Date	February 6, 2024 3:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1akcq8z/im_done/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-done.1244736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244736

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