I’m not going to call

Reflog1791 · 2024-03-19T20:19:53+00:00

Just like the book LACGAL explains in great detail, your life will be much much better without a lying cheater in it.

Go to gym, get buff, improve wardrobe, get haircut, get raise/new job. Improve everything about your life and leave the traitor in the dust.

Make everything in your life better. You get a chance to reset your missions and goals and dreams. Make it fucking awesome.

I was scared at first but shit am I happy I picked up my balls and shed that leech from my life. Time with the kid is immeasurably more joyful, peaceful, and fun. Time to myself is the same. New girlfriends were way better than ex at everything.

Don’t date single moms or and be very skeptical of what divorced women tell you. They will all lie about their baby daddy/ex husband.

Classic_Dill · 2024-03-19T18:07:00+00:00

My man.....this happened to me, but i never begged her to come back, I'm going to go a bit hard on you, but....dont be a friggin door mat, she put ANOTHER mans junk inside her....think about that, what do you have to save or fix? she did you dirty, first thing? drop allll emotions for her, where she goes, what she does, who she's with, become dangerously indifferent o her and her future life, its not your problem. Did you get an STI test?

Want to see something magical? drop all concern about her, stop communicating completely, except about the divorce, grey rock her and watch her loose her shyt! cheaters hate to have the disrespect turned around on them, your marital contract has been broken, so she is no longer YOUR problem, get an SOB lawyer if needed and STOP letting her call the shots, you're a Man yes? man up and and control this, all you should concentrate on now is YOU and YOUR future, shes a ghost, a bad dream a moldy piece of cheese you ate and now are sick from, you need boundaries desperately, make sure she understands by your actions, that you are no longer available to her, this is now a bankruptcy and you're going to do what benefits YOU the most. And never, never, never take her back or speak to her after the divorce, its not required and it will hamper your healing. She is a toxin, is that what you want in your life? to sacrifice your life for her? come on man.......she treated you worse then a stranger, dont give what life you have left to a trashy women, you deserve better.

hogger303 · 2024-03-19T17:10:58+00:00

This will not work out the way you think it will. Doing the pick me dance, rugsweeping, minimizing, blame shifting etc… it’s all a recipe for disaster.
Dont worry, we will be here for you when it happens again & again & again etc.

Updateme! 1 year

darweter_DPI · 2024-03-19T01:51:32+00:00

Men build and rebuild. That's what we do, brother. We plan and optimize for long term, women always optimize for short term, for today, for tonight. We build, we grow, slowly. In the long run, we win, (almost) always.

Don't beat yourself for going with your nature. But also understand that it is easier to build, to grow on a fertile ground. Good women, worth your time spending on them, do exist. Just not this one.

Chesus, had my cocktail and got into proselytizing mood. It's all for the better, my man.

CompetitionDue4730 · 2024-03-19T15:59:53+00:00

I feel for you, brother, but there's one thing I don't understand: how have you not told your ex-wife's affair partner's wife? Seriously, there's no other way around it. You need to tell her. Keeping another "victim" in the dark reflects negatively on your character.

AvacodoCartwheeler · 2024-03-19T14:23:38+00:00

I was there OP. I did that OP. Don't do it OP.

It works, for a little while. You fuck her brains out, she tells you how GREAT the sex is with you, she's suddenly willing to try things she never was before and it's honestly fun. She might even get you a trophy for "best sex ever" (mine literally did... then I gave it to AP when he showed up at my house one day, to see his mind get fucked right in front of me was great). Then AP manages to get back in contact somehow and she's off to the races again, seeking the thrill and excitement the affair brought her in the beginning. If you let her, after she goes back to AP and you leave her alone she'll suddenly be back again, promising the world, professing how much she messed up. She'll mean it too. I have to believe they mean it when they say it, but that lasts for a few days/weeks/months before she's missing that rush again.

**Edit to add: The only way to get her to "come back" is to be done with her, counter intuitively, so you begging her will only drive her further away. The BEST way to get her to come back is basically to get on some dating apps and go on dates. Woman HATE desperate men... never ever appear desperate, don't be too available (it feels desperate) and don't be "nice," because girls don't give a shit about nice guys, no matter what they say.

Independent_Farm_628 · 2024-03-19T13:25:35+00:00

OP

It's awesome that you are taking back the reins from your cheating STBXW!

We are with you brother!

KCWilli182 · 2024-03-19T07:58:49+00:00

I went through what you’re experiencing, the begging/pleading. after someone else was fucking my wife. In our house, slept in my bed. Been around my kids. All of it. And I got what I wanted! I moved way too fucking fast at the advice of my life coach at the time. (context, the theme was fitness makes the best husband/father)

In the span of 3 weeks, My 5 kids, that’s right 5, thought I was moved back in the home, we(X and I) planned a trip to Disney for everyone, bought new bed, sheets the whole 9, planned our first marriage counseling appointment. Sex was AMAZING, I tore it up like never before. SHE told me how greet it was and this and they “Reclaimed what’s mine” in my delulu head(s).

HOLY SHIT GOD IS GOING TO WORK THIS MIRACLE AND GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE.

God gave me EXACTLY what I needed. The other guy contacted her and plead his case, and she chose him. So now, he’s pretty much step dad.

I DODGED A FUCKING BULLET.

DO NOT LOOK BACK.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2024-03-19T05:45:11+00:00

Hey OP

Really glad to hear you read Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life. Anther book that really help me was No More Mr. Nice Guy. I've read that book several times.

Stay strong brother. Your best life is in front of you.

deenath247 · 2024-03-19T03:17:39+00:00

You can outsource most things she can do and get better results every time.

Life is about freedom and sense of control.

Have you asked yourself this question.

Even if you get back together.

You have just let her know you can be a doormat.

it will be fine to do it again and again and again.

Most likely open marriage will be used as caveat and you become a cuck.

Have some sense of self and don’t cave into needs.

Sometimes we really do self sabotage ourselves.

Countless men have regreted the decision to forgive. NO one really cares about her. She will just blame you for why she had to cheat.

I suggest you spend at least 24 hours with your thoughts and make an informed choice.

How soon we forget the pain and suffering. 🥴

major92653 · 2024-03-19T02:48:07+00:00

I was a guy who was “till death do us part” and tried to save the marriage, but as my therapist told me, by the time it got to that point, she already made up her mind and was out of the marriage. I had to recognize the signs.

I’m not going to tell you to stop trying, that’s for you to decide, but I can tell you there is another life out there for you to live in, and she’s not there cheating on you.

Confident-Run-645 · 2024-03-19T02:32:15+00:00

There were many things i wasn't taught in my youth !

One of the top ten, if not top five was,.....

NEVER, and I do mean NEVER EVER chase after a woman!

The harder and faster you chase after ANYONE

The harder and faster they run the other WAY!

lifeisallihave · 2024-03-19T02:31:38+00:00

Get out there and start working on yourself , you will meet the right woman who checks all the boxes and even more. She will be sitting on your face before you head out to work and why wouldn't you want such a gift between heaven and earth for yourself after putting in the hard work?

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-03-19T02:04:05+00:00

Loss of pride would be the only result.

chachingchaching2021 · 2024-03-19T01:53:15+00:00

Bro just think about how many times she’s been given a creampie.

MidniteOG · 2024-03-19T01:48:25+00:00

You need to see her for what she is now and not what she was during

domo_roboto · 2024-03-19T01:17:56+00:00

The rebuilding you need to do is your self respect. You yourself is what matters most now, this thing is in motion and will continue to be in motion until you're out the other side and it will come. Hang in there brother.

Title	I’m not going to call
Author	AntisocialBehavior
Upvotes	39
Comments	41
Date	March 19, 2024 1:07 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bi7roi/im_not_going_to_call/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-not-going-to-call.1426572 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426572

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