We met at a cafe to go over the finer details of splitting up finances and transferring savings, etc. The emails were getting convoluted. Don’t worry, a summary of decisions will be documented and sent to a lawyer before any money is moved.

Interactions have been civil but strained because of her affair. Last time we spoke she mentioned some things I said years ago that hurt her feelings.

Specifically, when I felt abandoned and overwhelmed with professional/household/childcare responsibilities during her fellowship, I made a public statement that “she is a professional first and a wife and mother second”. Thats how I felt, but it was a shitty thing for me to say out in the open.

Anyways, that cut deep apparently, so I said sorry.

I brought up therapy (there had been a brief mention of possibly considering starting again 2wk ago), and she said as long as the expectation isn’t for reconciliation and it’s for building some other type of relationship. I told her I couldn’t be her friend. She said I know , then she started to cry.

I would be willing to try almost anything to rebuild a new marriage. I don’t know if I could forgive her cheating (which she doesn’t consider cheating because she decided she was done with the marriage at the time). Absolutely ridiculous logic.

I would put in the work, but if she wants a divorce then I don’t want to be her friend at all. If it wasn’t for our son, at this moment, I wouldn’t ever want to see her again.

She has mostly been apathetic and dismissive through this process. Placing as much blame as she could on me. It was startling to see her cry since I thought she had turned off all her emotions in regard to me.