STBX - Access To Her ChatGPT

HistoricalRich280 · 2025-05-18T02:51:23+00:00

If you almost have everything settled, do not touch and stay away. Why create more mess and fallout that could prolong the process?

The longer you focus on her, the less you are focusing on your own future.

VeteranEntrepreneurs · 2025-05-17T14:22:33+00:00

You could let go and log off bro! My observation is you are obsessed with her and her actions. What she did and is doing is no longer your issue. Find a way to let go and focus on your own growth! My ex sent me some really hot pics before we broke up and I kept that shit for years, even once I was in another relationship. It was holding me back from my current relationship and keeping me in my past as I would occasionally check them out, I was obsessed with her. Once I let go, and deleted the pictures, is when I let go.

MistakeIndependent12 · 2025-05-17T02:57:10+00:00

As a mediator and dad of three who’s had to navigate some painful chapters, I’ve learned the hard way that it’s not what we find out that defines us but how we choose to respond to it.

You’ve been disciplined, protected the favorable outcome in your divorce, and quiet for strategic reasons.

Stay that course.

Otherwise, you become the manipulator, and you're no better than she is, maybe even worse.

When the time comes to speak your truth to her, speak it directly. You’ll feel better about it.

More importantly, you’ll be able to look your kids in the eye knowing you handled this chapter of their lives like the father they deserve.

Good luck.

johnb_123 · 2025-05-17T00:25:11+00:00

stop being a character in her story and start being the hero in yours.

Become_Pneuma · 2025-05-16T22:04:26+00:00

Another classic case. Having gone through something similar, my recommendation is to forget about this access and move on. Forget about her completely and focus on improving yourself and healing from the death of your family. Take care of your kids and be there for them. They are the true victims in all this. She knows what she did and will suffer a lifetime of guilt. You want her to be in a good headspace so she can be a good mom to your kids, so no need to rub her face in the wake of bullshit she left behind.

The sooner you come to grips with the loss of your wife and family as you knew it the better. Good luck brother. I hope you and your kids can get through this.

Bluetoes1 · 2025-05-16T18:48:48+00:00

Save all of this stuff. Print out all the chatgpt text into a binder . Put all the divorce info into the binder. Keep running documentation on her affair and all of her craziness.

The reason I’m saying this is not because of right now, but because of the future. I am eight years ahead of you and all of the same stuff happened to me. Just not the ChatGPT. But I have an eight year ex-wife who is just as crazy as she was when she went crazy and went running around with other men at the end of our marriage.

But I started a book of documentation because she was lying to anyone and everyone, including my children. That’s what I realized. I needed documentation to prove she was lying.

So now, eight years down the road things have come up. I have documentation of her being married to me and going around with another man applying for mortgages. I have receipts of hotel rooms with her affair partner’s name, but my credit card number paying for it. I have emails, I have airline ticket receipts.

I document every receipt for every medical, dental,therapist, etc. co-pay that I pay. I keep the receipts for every extra curricular that I pay for. I keep the receipts for every school trip that I pay for, and I document everything in a timeline form.

I document every single time she doesn’t take my children to extracurriculars that they ask me to sign them up for, because she thinks she’s getting to me. I document every single absence from school.

Now I’ll tell you why it seems like I’m petty in tracking all of this. I went to mediation last year because she was exploiting the broadness of our original divorce decree. At the beginning, the mediator was very impatient, and didn’t want to hear too much about what was going on. He just wanted to know what I wanted out of the mediation. I wanted four things I wanted a more rigid schedule, which she could not manipulate and flip (we are 50/50 one week on/one week off. Which was the main reason for the mediation. And I wanted three other smaller things.

She came into mediation with 26 items that she wanted changed. Because she was unable to control me over the last eight years. What was supposed to be a four hour mediation became a nine hour mediation. But most importantly, the mediator after lunchtime began to realize where the problem was. Every time she would come back with some crazy terms that she wanted I would refer to my 4 inch binder. He realized that she would boldface lie about situations, medical items, and issues with the children. She didn’t realize that when she would sit in the other conference room and just bold face, lie gaslight and tell stories about how something happened that he would come into the room with me and I would turn the binder around him and he could look at the official documentation and see what truly happened. It happened with a CPS investigation that was that she tried to say was called against me, when in fact, it was on her and her affair partner/live in roommate whatever he is now.

The mediator finally got to the point that he would come back into the room with her terms and say, I need you to listen to this, but I’m going to back and telling her no on everything, so don’t say anything.

The main reason I’m keeping this binder with all of this evidence is because my children are now 12 and nine years old. And now the gaslighting on the children has begun, and the lies are being told that it was me who was having the affairs and doing the cheating it was me that was running around emptying our bank accounts, making life hard for her.

So in the future, after my daughters are grown if they want to know the truth, it will all be improper evidence form in a timeline that they can see exactly what happened. I think that will have much more impact on them than them feeling like they are caught between what their mother says, and what I say

I will say that for the 13 years we were married, I never knew this woman could behave like this. She had actually been lying to me from our first year together all the way until basically to this day. I’m one of those guys that kind of got blindsided. But it is what it is, and I learned my lesson. And now I just try to open other men’s eyes to the possibility of what could happen to them.

Realizing I had to do this and learning how to do it has created a lot of peace for me. It really doesn’t take any time at all to update something. I hope I never have to hand over this binder to my children, but unfortunately, I think it’s gonna need to happen and they’re going to ask for it in their 20s or 30s

I’m sure some may think this is petty, or vindictive or think I need to just get over it. But I have two little girls that are the reason that I do all this work. They deserve to know the truth of who their parents are. That way they can make their decisions on their own.

Reflog1791 · 2025-05-16T14:37:05+00:00

When you’re hoping there is some important insight in the mind of a cheater, you find out they did it because they wanted to and they will justify it with nonsense. The end.

huggsnkisses · 2025-05-16T13:03:04+00:00

Op id get a paternity test before dissolution..

FUMoney · 2025-05-16T12:16:25+00:00

I will tell her in a month when done.

Not good enough. You first go through the court system. Get your order of dissolution and any orders pertaining to property and assets. Then you wait for the appeal period to expire. And then you wait some more after that, just to be sure.

Then you can mention it. Like a year later.

rsmiley77 · 2025-05-16T03:58:09+00:00

I think the takeaway here is that most of these divorces are proceeded by monkey branching.

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2025-05-16T02:12:10+00:00

Wait until after everything is signed off. Shake her hand and say, “Enjoy continuing to get railed by Greg and the other guys.”

Don’t ever tell anyone else you did that, most of all your daughter.

MyManStan877 · 2025-05-16T01:51:16+00:00

You guys are no fun. We still live together. It’s all good. I’m not NOT going to take advantage of this gift.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-05-16T01:50:36+00:00

They love to blow up marriages so they "can be alone." What they mean is they want to get ducked down by all the men at their work.

Effective_Hornet_833 · 2025-05-16T01:05:10+00:00

You got off easy—many do the same game but at $175/hour.

drtij_dzienz · 2025-05-16T00:55:05+00:00

Just do nothing with the chat GPT and move on.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-05-16T00:38:20+00:00

Bruh…Rent free. She be living rent free

Title	STBX - Access To Her ChatGPT
Author	MyManStan877
Upvotes	31
Comments	31
Date	May 15, 2025 9:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1knk8a8/stbx_access_to_her_chatgpt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stbx-access-to-her-chatgpt.1552246 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552246

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