Therapy

roshi-roshi · 2024-07-11T12:01:39+00:00

The hard truth is that you may never figure her out. A therapist will help you learn out to sit with that and help you see where she is coming from a little bit. The focus will be on you learning how to take of yourself, gain some insight into your role, but also really get at what’s up with you. You deserve to get better and thrive. A good therapist will attend to you, listen, validate you, gently challenge you, help you gain some insight and support you in getting to a better place. I wouldn’t have survived with out it and will go as long as I need. A good one is so worthy the money. Try out a few.

Particular_Car7127 · 2024-07-10T19:06:29+00:00

Try therapy for yourself, not marriage counseling. If you need someone to talk to, a therapist is way cheaper than a lawyer!

Gloomy-Equivalent-10 · 2024-07-10T18:51:09+00:00

So Far, only a few months in, it's helped me get out of my own head at least.

Not every session is a breakthrough but it's another person to vocalize all the crap that's in your head that you cant tell anyone else

I highly recommend it

Dizi357 · 2024-07-10T14:59:09+00:00

In therapy, much like school, you get out what you put in. If you see a therapist and really dive deep, do the hard work, take their feedback and do any exercises they give you, it can perform miracles. So much childhood trauma came up for me in therapy, and then I started reading books about it and am now accepting and becoming more calm with my current place in the world. I still go weekly, but lately I’m just on “maintenance” rather than actually working heavy each week - which is still nice, the stakes are lower now and it’s more of a conversation about what I read/did each week and how I can use that to better myself.

BUT if you’re not willing to do the work, and just want to go to complain or for a “yes man/woman” to validate your thoughts, then skip out, as it’s basically paying someone to listen to you bitch.

jimsmythee · 2024-07-10T13:27:27+00:00

My now exwife and I, at the suggestion of her mom, were to go to marital counseling. But before we even made it to one session, my exwife told me I was not to mention her great big dui crashes, I was not to mention her addictions to pills, and I was most certainly to to mention her fits of screaming rage when she’d run out of narcotics. Apparently, I was 100% the cause of our problems. So I cancelled it,

But in reality, I went without her. It was the best thing ever. She helped me a lot. By third session she said to me, “it’s time to talk about divorce. Marriage like these rarely work out. The sober spouse becomes overwhelmingly resentful of the addict spouse and all of their disasters.”

What she said rang 100% true.

Night_Fly2029 · 2024-07-10T12:48:10+00:00

My couple therapist fucked my ex wife....fuck therapy.

Par_then_Bar · 2024-07-10T12:28:36+00:00

Therapy has done wonders for me. When my ex had an affair, and blamed it all on me, I believed her. How stupid. My therapist was able to help me unpack all the trauma and also reveal things about myself I didn’t realize. I’m now 1 year removed from the big break up moment. I’m still in therapy. I went from weekly, to bi weekly, and now we check in once a month. I would highly recommend you try it but commit yourself to at least 4-6 sessions. Then make a decision if it’s right for you

Jiujitsu_Dude · 2024-07-10T12:24:34+00:00

100% Therapy is amazing and I recommend it. Don’t try and figure everything out on your own.

krazykanuck · 2024-07-10T03:43:03+00:00

Ive learned a lot about myself. I was too harsh on myself. I have learned to be kinder and caring towards myself. Ive also understood more WHY i chose her and the red flags i missed.

Ptsdveterannavy · 2024-07-10T01:52:26+00:00

Therapy works for some, but for the majority of men, that marriage is over

Aggravating_Text956 · 2024-07-10T01:37:08+00:00

It's teaching me , through emdr, what trauma in my past have cause' me to be with this type of person. How I attracted this personality type to me unconsciously due to my traumatic experiences and how to heal those past experiences, now, going forward. How I control none of the overwhelming things happening now through suggesting meditation, adamantly (which I do daily, now), and I try to journal, now, as often as I remember. Hr vehemently suggests prioritizing sleep and exercise. . . which I do. Self care changes everything if you overcommit to it.

Dr_Venkman_ · 2024-07-10T01:28:40+00:00

Therapy is bullshit. Couples therapy is a place where you’re torn down by the spouse in a “safe” space. By the time you’re in couples therapy it’s over. Going to your to your own therapist is hit or miss. Most therapists don’t gaf ultimately resolving anything. Couple and individual therapy was a total waste of time and money for me.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-07-10T01:25:58+00:00

It 'helped' me in the sense it gave me someone to talk too, as past the first month, no one in my life wanted to hear another word about my divorce. Heck, for most of my friends, after we had our initial 'bro drinks out' that was it.

Her advice itself wasn't very helpful, but it was an outlet at a time when that's really what I needed and wasn't getting anywhere else

UTHook3m · 2024-07-10T01:23:02+00:00

Therapy showed me that she is unable to take any responsibility for her own actions. Every session became a run down of why I am to blame for all her issues. I think our therapist wasnt up to the task, but I realized my stbx has zero comprehension of my issues with her. i.e. massive hidden debts, shit communication, etc.

HerbEverstanks · 2024-07-10T01:19:47+00:00

It wasted my money. I didn't learn anything. I tried to tell the narc x that she had childhood issues that haven't been resolved. The therapist brought that to light. I racked up credit card debt to pay for a waste of time.

I told her that if she emotionally cheats again or cheats, I'm filing for divorce. Apparently, she didn't learn anything either. But she told me that if I didn't do therapy, I'd be taking the easy way out.

Sensitive-City-1635 · 2024-07-10T01:14:42+00:00

I'm gonna go soon. Everyone I talk to says it's very helpful processing emotions if you find the right therapist.

justme4556 · 2024-07-10T01:09:05+00:00

It helped me stay sane and work out my issues. While having a third party to vent to. I highly recommend it to anyone

MaxViewingAngle · 2024-07-10T00:58:38+00:00

Between that and stoic philosophy, it gave me hope. Momento Mori Amor Fati.

eagles9900 · 2024-07-10T00:53:14+00:00

Helped me to learn the flaws of my ex narc and taught me I deserve so much better than what I was getting

Title	Therapy
Author	Nighthawk2824
Upvotes	7
Comments	58
Date	July 10, 2024 12:44 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dzik6r/therapy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/therapy.1523791 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523791

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