Warning Signs?

Suspicious_Reader-0 · 2026-04-27T11:07:15+00:00

dang! a lot of these responses sound like they are coming from angry bitter men. marriage is still sacred for a lot of people and it hurts when this happens…. there’s usually a reason. some women are narcissistic, but a lot of women burn out. marriage isn’t easy, we didn’t all learn to communicate well. the Gottmans are the gold standard if you’re wanting to navigate relationship struggles or maybe a healthy one in the future.

Suspicious_Reader-0 · 2026-04-27T10:57:40+00:00

I’m a wife, legally separated after 16 years and from my perspective, she’s not feeling you right now. If the marriage is long term, I’d be shocked if she hasn’t been trying to communicate with you for a long time and felt unheard. Women exhaust themselves until they finally…… go silent. Sadly, if it’s a regular occurrence and no obvious fight, she’s checked out and moving on. Maybe not fully ready to pull the trigger on ending it, but she’s got one foot out the door.

Pmoneywhazzup · 2026-04-25T21:28:06+00:00

In addition to most things mentioned here, if she goes on any trips: work, family or “girls” trips, she is meeting that fool. Sorry, man. Most of us have been there and it hurts. I’d be convinced with just the secretive phone behavior. Start getting ready. At least consult with an attorney to start thinking about the process. If she ultimately admits the affair, and you take her back, she’ll cheat again, probably with her current boyfriend.

luciagreene · 2026-04-25T11:21:36+00:00

You could start by expressing how you've been feeling, like saying, "I've been feeling a bit disconnected from you lately, and I'm wondering if everything is okay between us." You could also ask about the phone behavior directly but gently, like, "I've noticed you seem to be more private with your phone, and I'm feeling a little insecure about it. Is there something going on that you'd like to talk about?"

Terrible-Mind2633 · 2026-04-25T08:59:38+00:00

It seems to me to be walk away wife syndrome. Bad part is she wont confront you until she’s obsessed and analyzed her feelings to death with her close family/friends/social media. Then she’s going to ambush you with it. Most of us are on this forum because we didn’t have the right answers to this, the problem is that once a woman makes her mind up on something she’ll stubbornly commit until something drastic happens that proves her right or occasionally wrong. Idk what i would have done differently, spoke up sooner about little things that I knew weren’t necessarily okay but I also as a man was trying to do that balancing act between not being overbearing and still having direction. Might of saved our relationship if I would of taken her on a spontaneous vacation at the time, she was surrounded by toxic friends and constantly on a device of some kind maybe if I would have got her away from all that noise it would have allowed for us to refocus. At the same time we’re all adults and if someone is scheming behind closed doors and not willing to step up and have a respectful conversation out of love with their spouse. Then you almost need to be prepared to just let them walk right?

Forward_Leave1382 · 2026-04-25T06:57:57+00:00

Keep your thoughts to yourself for now, because if you alert her, she will work that much harder to cover her track. Play it cool, be a loving husband, but observe and also verify. Check into the phone records, look into Google maps and such and monitor her behavior while she's not covering her tracks. If you learn the wors, then you know and if you learn otherwise then you know that too and all without causing damage to the relationship if she's legit or warning her prematurely if she's not.

It's chess, not checkers and it's your future that you're risking, so it's worth doing right.

If it is going south, be prepared, quick and deliberate... because while she's high on new relationship energy she's much more interested in him and leaving the marriage behind her than she'll be at any other time. You'll never have her in a more agreeable position than as a soon as the cheating is confirmed. If you wait until the new relationship becomes as boring as her marriage, or he dumps her, she will start thinking clearly again and that's when she will want to carve out the best financial deal she can coerce... So get out while she's so happy and wanting to escape that she's not as inclined to take you to the cleaners as she would otherwise be.

Time_Kaleidoscope564 · 2026-04-25T04:55:46+00:00

This is the type of behavior my wife exhibited. We are now separated and navigating a divorce. She was having an affair.

Gattsama · 2026-04-25T01:55:42+00:00

If you share a phone plane check the text and call history. Short term there are sometimes legitimate reasons for these behaviors short term. But they are rare and very uncommon.

Also just directly ask her.

The simple truth is that unless you are an untrustworthy person yourself, you just trust your gut.

PghSubie · 2026-04-25T00:20:00+00:00

Yep, those are indeed troubling warning signs

dfb54749014 · 2026-04-24T22:58:36+00:00

I'm so sorry. To answer the question...yes, experienced it all and it was indeed an affair.

Queasy-Eggplant-3580 · 2026-04-24T22:45:16+00:00

All you need to know

https://youtu.be/9aofoBrFNdg?si=YbX0t4M7k7WyxFhJ

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-04-24T22:07:33+00:00

You're cooked bro. I'd check the phone for changed pins, wardrobe for newly bought lingerie, condoms in the purse/wallet, the works.

Robotic_Mann_ · 2026-04-24T21:51:21+00:00

I ignored my gut feelings and it turned out my gut was right. Phone hiding and one sided affection? Rest in pepperoni marriage.

southass · 2026-04-24T21:30:31+00:00

Oh boy, she's just getting started, the get together with her friends will start or are ongoing, the bad attitude towards you for no reason, the hiding of her phone is a massive red flag. I would suggest you to reach out to your friends and keep them close so when she leaves you you have support.

Dramatic_Taro5846 · 2026-04-24T21:05:39+00:00

Yeahhhhhh…

Deletegravedigger · 2026-04-24T20:49:16+00:00

She is being faithful to AP.

painfulletdown · 2026-04-24T20:25:52+00:00

Dude, divorce asap. It lead to her being an abusive jerk and trying to destroy our lives.

StAsBy52 · 2026-04-24T19:46:12+00:00

Classic red flag. Mine did rhis suddenly..Even left room and looked ar phone when she returned. Id ger yourself prepared - looks like she has. Be one step ahead.

MonarchistExtreme · 2026-04-24T19:22:30+00:00

that's typically cheating or cheating behavior...like if she ain't...she's talking to someone about doing it. There is someone else she is interested in and she's hiding that from you. When they have a new object of desire, the affection stops or becomes obligatory.

You gotta get in that phone and find out but play it cool.

Reflog1791 · 2026-04-24T19:21:13+00:00

Have her served at work and move on.

Anxious-One-2365 · 2026-04-24T19:06:06+00:00

Hiding her phone, no affection. Yep. She is hiding something. Do you have kids? Home together? You need to start seriously considering protecting yourself and have an exit strategy asap.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-04-24T19:02:00+00:00

If you hope to save your relationship (which both parties have to honestly want to do) it’s time to sit her down for a no bullshit conversation. If you think she’s physically or emotionally cheating and you want to catch her, time to start spying or hire a PD.

In the worst case, once a cheater always a cheater proves itself true again and again.

Chillout2010 · 2026-04-24T18:56:58+00:00

They stop letting you pay for stuff. They wont accept gifts. They ask for their own accounts on certain things. Costco card was the first sign.

darthkennedy815 · 2026-04-24T18:56:13+00:00

Went through the same thing. It was the worst case scenario. Trust your gut and protect yourself.

ConfectionAntique543 · 2026-04-24T18:41:15+00:00

Even if she's not cheating. If your female doesn't want to act affectionate towards you just dump her.

IAPiratesFan · 2026-04-24T18:38:47+00:00

Everything except the phone. One time I saw her messages on the kids iPad and she constantly lied about me to her friends. One time she told everyone I left my dirty underwear on the kitchen counter which absolutely never happened. At the time she spent a week on vacation with her mom and came home to a clean picked up house, all the spring yard work done and most of the leftovers were eaten. I figured if all she can do is complain why keep trying?

serkovavantgarden · 2026-04-24T18:38:19+00:00

Always trust your gut mate

SeaworthinessOwn9328 · 2026-04-24T18:32:31+00:00

No.1 red flag is her phone. If she leaves it on the counter, pick it up. If she runs and takes it you'll have your answer.

YetAnother3Putt · 2026-04-24T18:29:40+00:00

You need to check her phone.

Left-Ad-7646 · 2026-04-24T18:27:15+00:00

Yup. She’s cheating.

dystinct · 2026-04-24T18:23:54+00:00

Yes. It lead to her being checked out and on to the next man.

AssistantActive9529 · 2026-04-24T18:23:31+00:00

Yup time to get your ducks in a row. Lawyer up and serve her stupid ass

Title	Warning Signs?
Author	Own_Attitude_8775
Upvotes	23
Comments	41
Date	April 24, 2026 6:17 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1sunpbz/warning_signs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/warning-signs.1578792 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578792

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